This chapter is dedicated to the Whomping Willow. That tree needs love. I go off to give it a hug! *runs off*

Disclaimer: I own only the plot and Lifesaver-y prats!

Also, I feel as though I've been away from this story for so long. But the performances we've done are great, in my opinion! Too bad I need to do Geometry homework, or else my C might drop down to a D. And they did Trig while I was out! UUUGGGGGHH.

By the way guys, I'm really shocked and pleased at how many reviews about the nicknames we've got! But I've chosen two, and they are Rome or Romy for Hermione from Merteuil, and Lela for Lily from .lover. [FanFiction wants to keep changing your username, but it's actually "moony" DOT "padfoot" DOT "lover" DOT. This has been your daily merp.] THANK YOU ALL! *hugs for all!*

Hermione frowned, stretching herself out on the bed and watching as Sirius tromped around on the ceiling. Remus sighed and sat next to her, watching as Frank demanded he get down and stop showing everybody his belly button. She looked to Remus and they both sighed as she sat up and leaned against him, still frowning.

"OI! Padfoot!" James said as he and Lily marched through the doorway, "Off! Important Marauder business!"

"Thank Merlin I don't have to hang around you anymore!" Frank said as he gathered his books with a huff, glaring at Sirius as he tromped down to the Common Room.

"What's important and why is it business?" Remus asked as he tilted his head onto Hermione's, "And are you aware that your hair smells good?"

"Yes, I know, my hair is fabulous," James flipped a lock of his hair as he sat his bag on his bed. Lily snorted as Sirius crawled down the wall and hopped into his bed. "Anyway! Lily and I have come up with nicknames!"

"That was nearly a month ago," Hermione arched an eyebrow at him, pulling away from Remus and making him huff a little, "Why now?"

"Because it took a month to pick out something that I knew both of you would like," he said as he catapulted himself to sit in front of both her and Remus. Lily shook her head and sat at the edge of James' bed, taking a book out and opening it up.

"And what did you find?" Hermione asked as she leaned back on her hands, grinning a little at his excitement.

"Lily is 'Lela' and you, little Miss Granger, are 'Rome.'"

"Rome?" she repeated, tapping a finger to her lips as Remus silently got a pillow and groaned into it.

"I thought it was 'Romy'?" Sirius asked, frowning at his friend.

"No, 'Rome,'" he sighed, "I don't know where you got 'Romy.'"

"And just how did you get Rome?" she asked with a small smile.

"Well, okay, considering how close you are to Remus, and then the old myth of Romulus and Remus, and the Rome thing, and then ta-da!" he grinned.

"That was a terrible explanation, Love," Lily said from her spot at his bed.

"I know," he hung his head and gave a loud fake sob.

"I like it, but I have to admit," she said as she stood up and twisted a lock of hair on her finger, "I rather like 'Romy' better than 'Rome.'"

James gaped at her while Sirius jumped up and started whooping.

"But I thought of Rome!" he cried out.

"Too bad, mate," Sirius grinned, "She likes me better."

"Aha, no," Lily laughed, "She just likes the nickname you picked out for her better. She likes Remus better."

"Romy and Remus!" Sirius laughed as the two in question blushed a little.

"Moony and 'Mione!" James was grinning as he sat next to Lily.

"Oh yeah?" Remus huffed, "I could bring up 'Padfoot and Prongs' then, but that'd be cruel."

"NO!" they both shouted and began to throw pillows at him.

"I have already been accused of being gay this year!" Sirius growled as he jumped over to his bed and attempted to smother him with a pillow, but he kept moving as he laughed, "I will not have it again!"

"Knock it off, Sirius!" Lily ordered, standing up and throwing her book at him, "We need him!"

"Why?" Sirius whined.

"Well if it was just me and Hermione coming up with well thought out pranks, we'd be going after snooty girls, now wouldn't we?"

"Yes!" Hermione hissed as she slid down the bed, hiding her face with her hands before tearing them away and looking up at Lily, "Did you know what she said about my hair the other day?"

"Her? Oh my Merlin, yes!" she growled, "And then she went around and - !"

"I know!"

"I hate girl talk!" James announced, "You're all 'Oh my god, no way!' and then 'Oh my god, yes way!' Ulgh. It's bloody annoying and hard to follow."

"Oh you mean like – " Hermione began.

" – Fred and George did?" Remus finished.

"Yes, that was – " she started again.

" – very annoying and really – "

" – hard to follow sometimes but – "

" – really funny others," they finished together with grins as the others gaped at them.

"Oh my Merlin, you did it!" Lily grinned and clapped her hands, "I can't believe you did it!"

"I can't believe we did either," Hermione snorted behind her hand, looking up at Remus as he leaned over the footboard and grinned at her, "But I'd say we're – "

"- pleasantly surprised," he finished with another grin.

"Stop it," Sirius laughed, "That's creepy!"

"Alright," Remus sighed, reaching a hand down to play with Hermione's hair, but she swatted him away with a poorly hidden smile. "So, Lily, how's Quidditch?"

"Surprisingly fun!" she smiled, "James and Sirius have been loads of help, actually, and I get to beat things!"

"Sounds great!" Hermione laughed.

"Hey!" James jumped up, beaming, "Hermione should come flying with us!"

"Yeah!" Lily and Sirius agreed as Hermione paled.

"No, no way, no how, not gonna happen!" Hermione told them as she stood up.

"But why?" they cried out, Sirius and James pouting at her.

"I am absolutely terrified of heights," she crossed her arms over her chest, "I always have been."

"Well then that's all the more reason to get you on a broom!" James cried out before stepping towards her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders, bringing her in to his side, "The feeling of it is – "

"James," Hermione began before she stepped back from him, "I'm not saying that I've never been on a broom before, I just hate being high up in the air without some sort of support. I've been on brooms, thestrals, dragons – "

"Dragons?" the group repeated with gaping mouths.

She twirled back around to face them from her trek to the door and winked, "Gotcha!" She chuckled as she slipped through, whistling to herself.

"Oh Merlin," Remus groaned as he flopped back on his bed, "She's going to kill me just by what she tells me, I just know it."

James chuckled as Sirius snorted.

"Aww, Remus," Lily cooed, stepping up to twist a lock of his hair, "That's so cute!"

"I'm not cute," he grumbled, batting her hand away and attempting to fix his hair, only succeeding in screwing it up even more.

"No, you're not," she said, speaking to him as though he were a toddler, "You're adorable."

"I'm not adorable either!" he shouted as she practically skipped out of the dorm. She only giggled as he growled at her and his hair.

"That was a very fluffy moment, Moony," James grinned as Remus swatted at his hair, attempting to fix it.

"Shut up," he frowned as he glared at his hair. Sirius chuckled as Hermione walked back in, looking around.

"Hey, have you seen my bag?" she asked, stopping next to James' bed and searching around it, "I kind of need it."

"Yeah – over here," Remus said, huffing at his hair once more. She walked over and picked up her back, hooking it onto her shoulder as she watched him rearrange his hair again and again. She reached over, flicked a few pieces into place before smiling.

"Thanks guys," she said, waving over her shoulder as she walked back out the door, leaving Remus staring after her.

"I could've done that!" he shouted.

"Sure you could've!" she called back from the stairs, a laugh in her voice.

Remus huffed as James and Sirius began to laugh.

"Alright, so," Hermione frowned down at her paper, fingers to her temple, "Is it a grindylow or a – a…Lily, what is this?"

Lily stood up to see better from her spot across the table from her. The library was relatively quiet, aside from a few papers rustling, whispers from other students, and the sounds of books shuffling to sort themselves.

"I think it's a…err…is that a webbed foot or a badly drawn one?" she squinted at the picture on the page.

"I don't know," Hermione sounded as if she were about to cry, "I'm so confused, Lily. I mean, it's Defense! I used to be brilliant at it, but now I'm rubbish!"

"Why don't you ask Remus?" she questioned as her companion shifted to another subject, "He's always been really good at that class. I'm better at Charms, James and Sirius are good at Transfiguration, so if you ever need help with those, you can ask us."

"Problem is I'm threatening to go down a grade in Defense Against the Dark Arts," she sighed, turning to stare out at the rainy April day. "My parents are going t - " She stopped short as Lily picked her head back up, staring up at her as the other girl's eyes softened a little.

"Hermione," Lily reached a hand out to comfort her, only finding that there would be no way she could ever do so properly.

"What's bad is them being gone," Hermione whispered, "What's worse is that I forget it."

"Look, Hermione," Lily began before a shadow fell over the two. They turned to find the most arrogant boy in all of Hufflepuff – Torny McLaggen.

"Hermione," he was practically patting himself on the back, for what we'll never know.

"Torny," she might've cringed, and Lily might've hid her snicker behind her hand. Just maybe.

"Shall I pick you up at eight?"

"Err," she shared a quick glance with Lily, "For what?"

"For our date to Hogsmeade of course!" he chuckled.

Hermione bristled a little, her eyes narrowing, "I don't remember ever agreeing to that."

He blinked, "But surely you will!"

"But surely I won't!" she stood up as her voice rose, slamming her hands down on the book before she realized with horror where she was and who had just been appointed the new librarian.

"OUT!" Pince ordered, appearing out from behind a bookshelf and ushering the noisy students out of her beloved library, "OUT! OUT!"

"But I didn't do anything!" Lily cried out as she and their belongings were pushed out of the door, Hermione and Torny being pushed as well. She huffed as the door slammed shut, "Prude."

"Come on, Granger, go out with me!"

"No!" she said as she plucked her things out of Lily's arms and whirling around to walk away from him.

"Why don't you pull that stick out of your arse and act like a bloody woman for Merlin's sake?" he bellowed.

Hermione froze, her eyes wide before they narrowed as she whirled around, only to find that Lily's arm was already coming back from slapping Torny in the face, the sound echoing off the corridor walls. She blinked as James, Remus and Sirius stepped up with her, their eyes wide as well.

"Don't you dare speak like that to her again – or anybody else for that matter!" Lily practically growled, "Fifty points from Hufflepuff for verbally assaulting a student and disrupting the peace!"

"Disrupting the what?" Sirius whispered.

"Muggle thing," Hermione hissed back as Lily whirled back around and marched towards them.

"That prat!" she spat out, "Hermione, if anybody ever talks like that to you again, come find me and I'll hex them so badly their grandchildren will suffer from it!"

"I knew you were a Marauder!" James crowed as he picked Lily up and spun her around with a grin.

"James Potter, you prat, put me down!" she huffed once her feet finally touched back to the stone.

"You're grinning like a dork, Prongs," Sirius and Remus chuckled as Hermione watched Torny stumble away, mumbling to himself.

"I don't care," he continued to grin as Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head at him. He swooped down and placed a peck to her cheek, "I knew there was a reason I love you, Lela."

"Who's Lela?" she whirled on him and glared at his innocent face before blinking, "Oh right. That's me."

The tiny group laughed as her face flushed with embarrassment. Hermione looked over to Remus and frowned at him and his disheveled appearance.

"I just fixed your hair," she huffed, her eyes traveling from his hair to his eyes.

"Padfoot thought it would be funny if he jumped me right outside of the History of Magic classroom," he said truthfully.

"And it was," Sirius chuckled as Hermione set to work on his hair, frowning between him and Sirius all the while.

"Bloody boys," she muttered once she was done, hooking her bag back up on her shoulder and walking away.

"Oi!" Sirius shouted, "Where're you going?"

"Narnia! Be back later!" she said as she turned the corner, leaving the boys' faces confused as Lily chuckled.

"She just keeps stumping you three, doesn't she?" she said as she ran her hands through her hair, smiling at them.

"Both of you do," James admitted as they set off, Lily and James heading one way, Sirius heading towards the library and leaving Remus by himself.

"Well?" Hermione asked, appearing back at the archway and looking at Remus, "Are you coming or what? I need help with Defense."

He grinned and nodded as he set off after her.

"Why are you a deer?" Lily questioned, staring up at her boyfriend's face as his eyes scanned the text.

"I am a stag, thank you," he glanced at her and smiled a little.

"Sure you are," she rolled her eyes, "But why are you a deer?"

He huffed and glanced at her again before sighing, "Animagus or patronus? Because I can't explain my patronus."

"Animagus," she said, flipping to her side and bringing a hand up to hold her head.

"Well, a stag – not a deer – is big, strong, and pretty useful for beating off temperamental werewolves. I've got, like, swords built into my head."

"Swords built into your head?" she questioned.

"Shut up, all I could think of," James mumbled. She laughed as his blush spread and he ducked his head.

Hermione sighed, twirling her hair around on her finger as she watched Remus pace up and down in front of her, ranting and raving to Sirius about…something. The boy really did confuse her sometimes.

" – And that's why Hermione is brilliant," he concluded, plopping down next to her feet and setting his chin in his hand as he examined his textbook on the coffee table in front of him.

She blinked, turning to him but glancing at Sirius briefly, "What?"

He turned to her and grinned, "You zoned out, didn't you?"

"Yes," she admitted.

"He was talking about Muggles and then all of a sudden said that," Sirius chuckled, "I wondered what he was off about."

"Anyway," Remus straightened himself out, "As I was saying – Muggles aren't scum like a bunch of the Slytherins believe."

"Obviously," Hermione and Sirius said together, the latter rolling his eyes as Hermione smiled at her couch companion.

"Because, think about it," Remus rocked forward and perched his elbows on his knees, "They manage to do everything without magic. They've got electricity and television and all of these great gadgets that purebloods can't understand. It took my dad forever to figure out a light bulb."

"What's a light bulb?" Sirius questioned.

"Tell him later," Hermione waved it away.

"Right, anyway – if we could just get those – those prats to see what Muggles can do, then maybe – " he cut off as Marlene slammed the door open, Alice, Frank and Peter hurrying after her.

"Marlene, calm down," Alice said, bouncing on her toes as she worried, "Please, please calm down."

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked.

"I swear to Merlin I'll punch him again!" Marlene vowed as she took off on an angry pace.

"Well, to be fair, you didn't so much punch him as kick him," Frank said in a strained voice before wincing at Remus and Sirius, "And it wasn't in a very fair area where you hit, either."

"Marlene," Hermione began as she got up from the couch, "What's going on?"

She froze and stared at her before suddenly finding the floor fascinating, "Err – well, you see, this one boy started this rumor about you, and I just had to retaliate."

Hermione smirked and rocked back on one leg, "So you kicked him in the nuts?"

"Okay," Sirius said as he quickly shot up from his chair, walking around it for a minute, "Can we, like, please not talk about that?"

"About what?" Alice chirped, "Marlene kicking Torny in the nuts?"

Marlene froze and glared at Alice as Hermione's eyes narrowed, the shorter girl taking to hiding behind her boyfriend.

"What was the rumor?" she asked.

"Don't you dare tell her," Marlene ordered, "Don't you dare, Alice, I swear to Merlin."

"Or else what?" she muttered as her eyes peered over Frank's shoulder, "You'll kick me in the nuts?"

"Alice!" Sirius barked, making her stick her head out far enough to poke her tongue through her teeth before she quickly ducked back behind her protective shield/boyfriend.

"What was the rumor, Marlene?" Hermione asked, a little louder.

She sighed and hung her head, "Torny was telling all of his stupid little friends that he got you to sleep with him. I told him that was a load of rubbish and he yelled that he was telling the truth and that you were a slut. So I kicked him where the sun don't shine and stormed off."

Hermione pursed her lips before swiftly walking past them, Marlene cringing as the portrait hole slammed shut.

"And that's why we don't tell Hermione," Frank whispered to Alice.

"Is she okay though?" Lily asked as she and James trailed along beside Marlene, James barely dodging a suit of armor as all of his focus was on trying to send psychic vibes on making everything work out for the rest of the day.

"I don't know – she didn't come in at all last night. Remus and Sirius both went out looking for her, but they can't find her either. It's like she just went 'poof!' Gone!" Marlene sighed, "Merlin, I wish I knew where she was."

The couple nodded as they pushed the door open, making their way to the Gryffindor table. They paused as they saw that Remus, Sirius, Frank and Alice were all smirking and glancing at the Hufflepuff table. They turned and saw that Torny looked like a pack of Lifesavers. His skin was a vibrant purple, his hair bright green, and his blush – which should've been a bright red – was instead bright blue.

"Who?" James hissed with glee, looking between Sirius and James, "Who, who, who, who?"

"Not me," Sirius whispered back.

"I didn't do it," Remus shrugged.

"Frank, Alice?" Marlene asked.

"No," Frank shook his head as Alice snorted.

"Oh yeah, I know a spell like that. I'm also a sugar plum fairy," she scoffed.

"Can I have a plum then?" Sirius asked as Hermione stretched over Lily and plucked a piece of toast off the plate. They looked up at her and grinned.

"Hermione," Lily started, "Did you charm Torny into looking like a rainbow?"

"Who?" she blinked, "Me? Never!" She then winked and took a corner of the toast in her mouth, practically dancing as she walked out of the Great Hall.

"You've asked for it, Granger!" Torny bellowed right before the door shut behind her. Torny then gave a loud squawk, jumping up and swatting at an imaginary flame in the center of his back. The small group looked between each other, finally noticed that Remus was covering his mouth with his hand and refusing to look at anybody.

"Awww, such a sweetie!" Lily cooed.

"Stop it," he growled as she grinned at him.

"Awww!" the group all crowed, making him cover his face and groan.

Alright, so. My computer is so jacked up. It keeps stopping whenever it feels like. I actually started on the next chapter, but on paper. It's MUCH more obedient. But, alas, no spellcheck…or internet. So, if you feel the urge to gripe about the slow updates – BLAME THIS PIECE OF CRUMPLE HORNED SNORKACK POOP. I want a new one. But I don't want my dad to find out about FF. So I'm stuck with this piece of crap (I say that lovingly!) until I either fess up, or turn eighteen.

TURNING 15 ON DECEMBER 31! WOOOOO!

Review and make me happy. Please. I beg of you.