May 9th

"I have been making many decisions lately, taking some chances that I have never taken before. This diary is one of them. I have never written of my thoughts and feelings about her before now. They were always too private, too secret, and I feared someone finding them accidentally. But now, in the sunset of my last year at Hogwarts, I have decided I will no longer hold on to my fears. I have performed a ritual to help me with this and have asked the Gods to aid me.

The next bold step I have taken occurred this morning during Arithmancy class. My love, ever the good student, sat towards the front of the class as she usually does. I have always sat blissfully in the back so that I may watch her without her knowing. But this morning I pushed aside my fears and sat directly in the seat behind her. Oh, I tell you, I was not able to listen to the professor speak because my body was being attacked by the sensual delights of being so near to her.

I could smell her hair, the scent of lavender and vanilla, every time she moved her head - even slightly. If I reached forward, I would be able to tangle my fingers through her lovely brown locks. That's how close I was! That was the thought running through my mind or should I say it was my desire. I wanted to move my hands into her hair and press my face forward, bury my nose against the strands and inhale her essence into my very being. I wanted to part her hair, so that the back of her soft neck would be exposed to me, and I wanted to kiss her and taste her skin.

As those thoughts continued, my body began to react, and I felt my cock harden as I closed my eyes and indulged in a fantasy. In my fantasy, I reached around her from behind and pulled her up and backwards, out of her desk and onto the top of mine. Her head came to rest on my shoulder and she turned her face to me in happy surprise. Then I kissed her for all to see and she lifted her arms up and back so that she could hold me around my neck as we deepened the kiss. My hands unfastened the front of her robe and it fell open, exposing her heaving chest with its straining white button-up blouse. Then my fingers unbuttoned her blouse as we continued our kiss, oblivious to anyone watching. They didn't matter, nothing else mattered. Her blouse fell open and my hands travelled to the top of her silk covered mounds. The thin material did nothing to stop me from caressing and pinching her nipples, turning them into stiff peaks.

I think I must have made a sound at this point because I felt a prod on my back and I opened my eyes, disappointed that my fantasy was not real. I turned my head around and noticed Draco was sitting directly behind me. He scowled at me and whispered, "What's wrong with you?" I just shook my head and turned back around, once again gazing at the back of my angel before me. It was too tempting for me to be this close to her, I realized this now.

During one point of the class, she flipped her hair back away from her face with her hand and this left the ends of her long tresses lying on the top of my desk. My heart beat with excitement as I slowly reached forward and ever so softly touched her hair. She had no idea I was doing this! Then class was over all too soon and everyone was standing and putting their things together, getting ready to leave. She began talking to one of her friends as she packed up and I covertly glanced at all her movements. When

she walked away, my eyes fell upon a quill which she had left on the desk, forgotten. If it was anyone else, I would have called to them and told them that they had forgotten their quill. But it was not just anyone, it was hers. So I stayed longer than everyone, and when the room was near to empty I took her quill, holding it in the same spot she had just held it. I ran the soft feathers through my fingers. It felt as if I was holding something more exquisite than an ordinary quill. Then I put it with my own things and left for my room

I wonder if she remembered later that she had left her quill behind. I hope it is not her favourite or that she misses it, for I do not intend to ever give it back. It is something of hers that I can hold and know that she, too, has held this same thing."

Rachel looked up from the diary and her eyes moved over the lawn surrounding her. A strange feeling was churning within her after reading Blaise's words. An incredulous bubble of disbelief rolled within her as her pulse quickened. It couldn't be, could it? No, no, of course not, her mind said. She let out a nervous laugh. Blaise Zabini was in love with her? Ridiculous! But her eyes scanned the entry again and the ball of anxiety grew in her stomach. She was in his Arithmancy class. She had long brown hair. And the most damning clue of all was that she HAD lost a quill last week, something that was very uncommon for her to do. She remembered going back to class later and trying to find it, but it was gone.

Oh my! Rachel sat up straight and nervously fidgeted. One hand went to her hair and combed her fingers through. The other hand with the diary shook as the sweat began forming on her brow. How can this be? She was not the kind of girl the guys went crazy for! She didn't flirt and wear make up and shorten her skirts. She had been kissed only once by Finn Hudson after the Yule Ball fourth year and it was an awkward kiss at that. What could someone like Blaise Zabini possibly see in her? All the beautiful witches that constantly threw themselves at him and he was pining for her? Miss plain Jane bookworm?

She grabbed her flask of water from her book bag and took a big swig. Her hands shook and her stomach flip flopped nervously. Then she shook her head and said, "Silly me. It can't be me! What am I thinking?" Her face turned crimson when she thought of the things he had imagined doing with her. With her? She flipped back to the first few pages of the diary and read again his fantasies about doing naughty things with her. Her! Rachel Berry! Now she had a visual in her mind and it was no longer of the various witches she knew that he had been with. She, too, pictured herself doing those things with Blaise as she reread his words. Her heartbeat sped up and fluttery heat filled her lower belly with unfamiliar sensations. A part of her mind was still in denial that Blaise had really thought about doing such things with HER, of all people!

As her eyes reread everything the second time through, she came to the point in which she had last stopped reading. She noticed that she had not quite finished the May 9th entry and so she took a deep, bracing breath and read on:

"Taking her quill was one of the bolder things I have done lately. But it isn't enough to satisfy me because she does not know it. She does not know how special SHE is to me. So I have decided to do something which I never thought I'd be brave enough to do.

If there is one thing I have learned about her all these years, it is that she has a love for the written word. She is always reading, always learning, and so I believe the best way for her to know how I feel is for her to read about it. I will devise a way for her to read these words that come from my heart. It will be taking a great chance for me, I know this. My words may offend, frightened or disgust her. I don't know. Or perhaps she will feel differently. Perhaps she will see the great love and admiration I have for her and just maybe she'll give me the chance to know her. I will pray for the strength to do this thing."

Rachel sat stunned after finishing the entry. She was supposed to find this diary. He had meant for her to find it! She looked carefully around, wondering if he was watching her right now, her pulse pounding in a strange sort of fearful excitement. How could she possibly handle it if he came strolling up to her? Or maybe he was expecting her to come to him! Oh, the thought of doing that filled her with such fear. Imagine if she was to approach him and she really wasn't the one at all? Gods!

"O.K. Rachel just calm down," she told herself as her hands trembled nervously on the diary. How did she feel about him? If she had asked herself that before reading his words and knowing how he felt, then she say that he was just another handsome, popular wizard who was a real ladies man. She had never thought badly about him. She had heard he was friendly and well mannered and didn't say bad things or spread nasty rumours about any of the girls he after reading his words, she couldn't help but admit she was greatly affected by his depth of passion and devotion to the one he considered his true love. And it was her! She had to admit that now that she knew how he felt about her, she was not unaffected. What was she to do?

Rachel glanced back down at the diary and noticed there was one more entry. She gasped and her hands shook even more when she realized it was dated with today's date! And it was no normal diary entry. This time it began like a letter, a letter to her!

"My Dearest Rachel, …"

High above from the top of the astronomy tower, a lone, black haired wizard watched the witch below as she sat under the tree, reading his diary. His fingers gripped the rail tightly, realizing by her nervous movements that she had finally discovered that his diary was about her. He was relieved that he could not see her facial expressions from this distance. He feared knowing the reaction she was having. Would she run scared and keep herself hidden from him as much as she could, turning her face away every time he was near? Or would she give him a chance? Would she allow him to step into her life?

He would know his answer as soon as she had finished reading the diary to the end. He watched her carefully, trying to remember to breathe. This felt like the most important day of his life. This day would determine his future happiness. Would he be doomed to a life of meaningless relationships or would he finally have the one he loved and cherished above all others?

He waited for her to finish reading, watching her for the slightest movement.