The lights turned back on and the audience cheered as Catherine spoke:
"Greetings, everybody, and welcome back to The Royal Woods Comedy Grand Prix, round two! Before we begin, let's see what the judges think."
The camera turned to the judges, but they said nothing. "Judges?"
"Yeah?" Tabby asked.
"Oh, uh, we got nothing to say," Giggles answered.
"Really?! A-Are you serious you-"
"Get on with it already!" the kid judges exclaimed.
"Geez, no need to sass me! Well, I guess the only thing left to say is-"
"Actually, didn't you say last time that Mr. B, the maker or owner or whatever of this whole thing, had an announcement to make?
"O-Oh, right, he does need to say something! So, let's see what he has to say."
Suddenly, a screen slowly came down from the ceiling, then turned on to reveal Mr. B, who looked like an oddly teenage-aged guy shrouded in shadows. And then he spoke with a deep, probably manipulated voice:
"Greetings, second rate comedians from all over Royal Woods, I'm Mr. B, and I have decided to switch up the rules for a bit: No longer will an individual comedian be selected to go to the next round, instead, the whole team will earn a score from 0 to 100, and if that team were to reach third place, they're out. We do this to get this whole thing over with already, so that is all. Now go back to entertaining the rest of Royal Woods, for their, and specially my, amusement."
The screen turned off, and a silence followed until Catherine quipped:
"Well, Mr. B seems to like getting straight to the point. Anyway, that was all from Mr. B, now let's move on with Terrestial Prodigy! Good luck!"
The screen switched to show Lisa and Lana on the monitor at the stage. Lisa was smiling, while Lisa had an "are you serious?" look.
"A down-to-earth plumber and a scientist who's mind is on the clouds! Will they clash in a manner that will bring some amusement?! Welcome Round 2, team 1: Terrestial Prodigy!"
The lights turned off and shined some lights as Lana and a visibly annoyed Lisa stood on the stage. Then the lights turned on, and Lisa was pinching the bridge of her nose.
"Hi, everybody! Thanks for having us here!" Lana chirped. "Come on, Lisa, show some excitement to the, otherwise they might start thinking you're not taking this seriously!"
"Of all people, why did I have to be partnered with you?" the genius audibly complained. "First I need to deal with Clyde messing everything up, and now I have to deal with the possibility you'll mess up even more!"
"Well, you were the one messing up for the most part," Lana shrugged. "Although, now that
Lisa's answer was pretty blunt: "Don't be ridiculous!"
And then she appeared cosplaying as a ninja with red, spiral eyes. "I'm totally a Tsukuyomi!"
"Tsukkomi!" Lana clarified as Lisa turned back to normal and the audience laughed. "It's Tsukkomi, not Tsukuyomi!"
"Meh, you say mud, I say Water-Soil fusion."
"What? Don't have any scientific names to further showcase your pretentiousness?"
"Of course I do! I'm a full encyclopedia of scientific stuff, I just choose not to do so, for if I do, your brain's going to break."
"Hmm..."
"What?"
"You know, Lisa, I've been wondering something since last year."
"What is it?"
"I've been wondering how much of your intelligence is genuine," Lana put on a sly look. "And how much of it is just you making stuff up."
The audience said "oooh" for the first time as Lisa felt anger surging through her body. "You dare question my intellect?"
"Of course, I mean, most of the stuff you say-even the ones that are true-sound like something people would make up just to sound smart," Lana crossed her arms. "How do I know you're not making it up just to make yourself look like the prodigy you're supposed to be?"
"You dare?!"
"I dare!"
"You dare?!"
"I totally dare! And I'll continue to dare until you can prove me otherwise!"
"Fair enough, I accept the challenge!" Lisa growled, only to flinch as she realized something, "Oh dang it, now I'm sounding like Lynn!"
Lana, as well as the audience, chuckled a little at this statement before turning back to normal. "Okay, how about we do this: I'll act as a show host, and I ask you what is a scientific name referring to. If you lose, you have to admit you're not as smart as you say you are!"
Lisa folded her arms. "What if I win?"
Lana shrugged, "You get bragging rights."
"Ah yes, the greatest of prizes," the audience laughed as Lisa added, "Alright, let's do this!"
The lights turned off as Lana chuckled in excitement.
Lana's skit...
The lights turned back on to reveal Lana, now wearing a pink suit and a pompadour, while an unimpressed Lisa sat next to her on the contestant's seat. "Good evening, Royal Woods, and welcome to.."
Lana raised her arm as she and the audience said in unison, "Guess the Scientific Name!"
"And today, our contestant is Lisa Loud!" and as the audience cheered, Lana leaned a microphone close to the scientist and said, "So, how
"We literally just started, and I already have no idea what's going on."
"Heh, I guess you're not as much of a genius as you think you are."
"I am!" the prodigy snapped as the audience chuckled. "W-What I meant to say was, you just started this up without giving me any rules on how this works!"
"Funny you say that, 'cause that's what I'll explain right now: I'll give you three scientific names, either belonging to an animal or a plant, and after you push your button, you must guess what animal or plant I'm talking about! Get all or most of them right, and you win, don't, and you lose. Any questions before we begin?"
"Only one: How likely is it that you're going to rig everything just to make me look like a fool?"
"...Here comes the first scientific name!"
"You didn't even answer me!"
"Bos Primigenius Indicus!"
"Hmm... Well, seeing as you're the one making the questions, I'm going to assume this first one is an animal," Lisa hummed some more, then pressed the button. "Um, that's the scientific name for... Um, a bog primate?"
The "wrong" sound was heard. "Sorry, Lisa, you got it wrong."
"What?! No way!"
"Yes way!"
"Well, what's it for?!"
"It's the scientific name for the Zebu!"
Lisa frowned in disbelief as the audience chuckled. "Did you just misspell Zebra to get on my nerves?"
"No, the Zebu's an actual animal."
"It is?!"
"Yeah, here," Lana handed her genius sister a pamphlet. "Here's some info about the animal. It's habitat, behavior, diet, and such.
Lisa gave a quick read to the pamphlet, and she promptly freaked out, "Holy singularity, it really does exist!"
"Wow, I taught something to a supposed prodigy," Lana scoffed. "I feel so proud of myself!"
"You didn't teach me anything!" Lisa threw the pamphlet away. "I just so happened to have a vague knowledge about the animal!"
"Isn't that the same as saying you didn't know about it?"
"Just get to the next scientific name already!"
"Okay then, let's go for a plant."
Lisa snickered. "This should be easy."
"Solanum-"
Lisa pressed the button. "Tomato!"
"Dulcamara!"
"Oh..." Lisa sighed as the audience laughed. "W-Well... Uh..."
"You seem a little stumped, so let me give you a hint: the name represents one of the next names listed:"
Bittersweet, bittersweet nightshade, bitter nightshade, blue bindweed, Amara Dulcis, climbing nightshade, fellenwort, felonwood, poisonberry, poisonflower, scarlet berry, snakeberry, trailing bittersweet, trailing nightshade, violet bloom, or woody nightshade.
"There's so many!" Lisa exclaimed as she looked at the list. "Uh... Um... It's the scientific name for... Uh, felonwood?"
The "wrong" sound played again. "Sorry, Lisa, but you got it wrong."
"Yeah, no kidding!"
"The correct answer was..." all the names turned green. "All of them!"
"All of them?!" Lisa growled as the audience laughed out loud and clapped. "You tricked me!"
"No I didn't: all the names listed are valid alternatives to the scientific name mentioned."
"But you told me to pick one!"
"Well, you can't think straight all the time, sis, sometimes you gotta think outside of the box," Lisa fell silent as Lana continued her lecture. "Of all people who would know about that tactic, I'd expect you to be one of them. I mean, why else would I give you so many alternate options, if not for you to deduce they were all part of the same alternative?"
"Okay, alright, I get it! Just give me the final scientific name!"
"Fine then, you lose either way: The final scientific name is... Equus africanus somaliensis."
"Hmm... "Somali" is included there, and I believe that's a place... And equus is supposed to be about equines..." Lisa pressed the button. "The somalian donkey."
The "wrong" sound played again. "Oh come on!" Lisa hissed. "What did I get wrong this time?!"
"The name," Lana bluntly stated.
"The name?!"
"Yeah, it's not somalian donkey, it's Somali wild-"
Suddenly, Lana struck Lisa's face with her butt as she shouted "Ass!"
The stage, as well as the duo, turned back to normal as Lana and the audience laughed in unison, while Lisa quickly recovered from the strike. "Well, you humiliated me in front of everybody," the prodigy muttered as she clenched her teeth. "Are you happy with yourself?"
"Yeah, I pretty much am," Lana shrugged. "But what do we do now? We still got time for one more skit."
"Well, you dared to question my intelligence," the genius folded her arms. "I believe it's only fair that I dare to question something about you."
"Alright, but what exactly?"
Lisa and Lana hummed in thought until the genius got an idea. "I know! Your obsession with mud!"
"Take that back!" Lana proclaimed, only to quickly add, with clear confusion, "Wait, why would you doubt that?"
"Well, I kinda worded it wrong: I'm not questioning how you're obsessed with mud, that's a proven fact. What I'm questioning is your capacity to resist going after mud,"
"Huh, that makes more sense... Take that back!"
"Prove it to me, and I'll take it back."
"How?"
"Hmm... I got it: We're going to be a pair of people doing community service-"
"That sounds manageable."
"In the middle of a large mud field, while it's raining."
"Would community service really allow that?"
"Hey, it's a skit, anything can happen in it."
"Well, okay, let's give it a shot."
Lisa's skit...
Lisa and Lana were doing their community service next to the mud field, in the rain, with Lana giving the field a longing look. "So... Of all places we were put to do our service... It had to be here?"
"Yeah, pretty much." Lisa said as she paused for a moment. "You see-"
However, Lana jumped into the mud field just as Lisa started to explain, and the prodigy's nonchalant apathy implied it wasn't the first time. However, just as Lana rolled around the mud in delight, she felt something... Odd, underneath it. So she dug the ground, and found...
A skeleton!
And as the tomboy shrieked, Lisa laughed out loud-alongside the audience-as the stage turned back to normal. "Gotcha!" Lisa stated in the middle of her laughter.
"What do you mean gotcha?!" Lana growled.
"I put the dead body underneath the mud, 'cause I knew you wouldn't resist the urge to play in it!"
"Why would you do that, though?! It sounds more like something Lucy would do!"
"Precisely!"
"...Wait, what?"
"That's a joke Lucy was going to make!"
"Really?!"
"Yeah! While I was trying to relax from the fact I was paired up with you, I overheard Lynn talking with Clyde about one of the jokes she and Lucy were going to make, the one you just fell victim to. And seeing how Mrs. Johnson stole my joke-albeit accidentally-I figured it was just fair to steal one of their jokes too!"
"So, wait a minute, you took this joke from somewhere else?"
"That's what I just said."
After a couple seconds in silence, Lana scoffed, "If you had to use a joke from somebody else, you probably aren't as smart as I thought you were."
"This nonsense again?!" Lisa snapped.
Then, looking at the audience with a smile, Lana chirped, "Thanks for watching everybody!"
And the audience cheered and clapped as the lights turned off...
.
.
.
The lights turned back on to reveal Lisa and Lana standing right next to Catherine, who looked at them with slightly worried amusement. "So, history repeats huh? Last round, Mrs. Johnson stole your joke, and now you steal a joke from your sister."
"It was the most logical choice!" Lisa stated.
"Well, we'll leave that for later, for now, let's see what the judges think!"
"JUDGING!"
Same deal as before, with the scores being:
Polly: 78
Tabby: 65
Haiku: 70
Giggles: 80
Carol: Pineapples
"Okay, that gives us a total of 293 points... And pineapples." Catherine eyed Carol. "Well, she's replacing Maggie, so a nonsense score is to be expected."
"Aw man, we didn't even break past 300 points!" Lisa complained.
"Hey, at least there's the chance we'll last for a while longer," Lana remarked.
And as Lana and Lisa left, Catherine spoke, "Well, that's Terrestial Prodigy! Join us after the commercial break to go with our next team, School O' Rock! And remember, stay tuned for more of "The Royal Woods Comedy Grand Prix"! See ya!"