Title: Christmas of Forgiveness
Author: princesslara99
Background: Hope. Love. Forgiveness. Isn't Christmas all about it? Follow Rose and Dimitri through this journey, where they rediscover themselves. Dimitri is a royal moroi and the king of the moroi world. He left Rose five years ago when they were students of St. Vladimir's without a word. But now he's back, ready to turn her life upside down. He's a man on mission with a single target – winning her back!
Tan. Tun.
The doorbell rang, making Rose jerk from where she was standing in the foyer. It was late. 10 a.m. The world was asleep. At least her world was. In the deep woods of Pennsylvania – The Court was Rose Hathaway's world. Her heart tried to remind her that somewhere, someplace she had another world. Her home. He was the centre of her world. He was her home. She quickly shushed her thoughts.
"Rose, can you get it?" she heard a sleepy voice call out to her. Lissa. Her best friend and charge. Princess Vasilisa Sabina Rhea Dragomir was a royal member of the magical, ancient race of vampires : The Moroi. She had been her best friend since they were children, when the four year old Rose had thrown her book at the teacher who had paired the girls, asking them to spell each other's name.
"On it." Rose called hearing Christian grunt when the ring persisted. With her silver stake in her hand, Rose walked steadily to the door, peering though the peephole to find a figure in black staring intently at the door.
A Guardian. Guardians were essentially the second race : The Dhampirs. Dhampirs were basically half breeds – half human and half moroi. They were bred with the best qualities of both the races, but unlike moroi, they didn't need blood for sustenance. Guardians were protectors of the moroi.
Rose opened the door, sensing no danger.
"Guardian Hathaway." The other guardian said respectfully.
"Yes, Guardian Rogers?" Rose said, not sure she got his name right until she saw the bulky man smile. Her eyes immediately flew to the blue colored badge pined in his collar. He was a royal guard. Her heart clenched. Somehow she knew. She knew the purpose of his visit. Blue was the current royal color. Blue was 'his' color.
"How may I help you?" she asked quietly and was proud her voice didn't quiver like her insides were right then. Her palms grew sweaty and her heart was beating so fast, she wasn't sure, she could hear the guardian speak over the thudding.
The man smiled, sensing her unease. "Guardian, You are requested to present yourself before the crown."
"Your majesty," the guard bowed down, making Dimitri look up from where he was drowned under the documents in his desk. "Your guest is here."
It was like all the breath had been sucked out from his chest. His heart thudded violently as if wanting to rip apart from his chest and fuse with hers forever. The six – foot – seven inches brute never thought he could feel butterflies in his belly again. But there he was – five years later – and those damned butterflies had turned into bats!
"Tell her I'll be there in a minute. Make sure she's comfortable." He ordered kindly. The young guardian pressed his fist to his chest bowing again.
He stood up, but he could feel his limbs shake, as he ran a nervous hand through his hair. He subtly checked himself out in the full length mirror places strategically near the door. He was going to see her, his Roza, after five long, painful years. Nervousness gripped him, but he willed his feet to move.
With long but shaky strides, he reached the double doors of the throne room. Nodding at the guards respectfully, he dismissed them. He wanted her alone. All for himself and if his plan succeeded, she'd be his very soon. The thought encouraged him and he pushed the door open, only to have his heart stop.
She. Was. Breathtaking.
The sight of her was a sucker punch to his gut. He didn't know what he's been expecting but this was beyond his imagination. Damn! Those stupid photographs couldn't do her any justice. His Roza was no longer the pretty high school girl he remembered, but she was a beautiful woman now. Her features were hardened by the years of guardianship yet she was still soft and had a feminine air about her. She was an angel. And he wanted her. So bad, he couldn't breathe.
Suddenly, she turned as if sensing his presence. He saw her eyes soften at the sight of him, before she schooled her features in a neutral mask. Dimitri smiled. This was what he was waiting for. The confirmation. The confirmation that his Roza still felt for him as much he did. She might be angry at him, but it was there.
The thought made him smile despite himself. "Hello Roza." he called, very much aware that she was a sucker for his accent.
Rose bowed down in a customary courtesy, as if mocking him. "Your majesty." her voice taunted. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
Dimitri's smiled widened. Oh how he missed her! He started to move, taking short but meaningful strides towards her, his eyes blatantly devouring her.
"It is a matter of emergency, yes." He drawled.
He was close. Oh so close! He was standing in her personal space. And smiling! That bastard was smiling! Rose wished she could wipe the smile off his face. With her lips.
No! Where that thought did come from? She mentally scowled at herself.
With a nervous step, she backed down. "And it involves me?"
Dimitri's smile never left his face as he took another step forward. "It very much revolves around you." His voice had dropped a timbre, making his voice husky and his accent more pronounced. His dark eyes were locked to hers, and she saw, clear as day, the blatant hunger in his stare.
Rose was used to the looks of lust towards her. In her line of field, she had more acquaints with males than with females. Not one. Not one had ever made her feel like this. His hunger seemed to trigger her own lust and she fought the urge to squirm and press her thighs together to quiet the ache between her legs.
"Your majesty..."
"Comrade."
"What?"
"Call me comrade. Like you used to." he said softly, almost whispering.
Rose snapped, jerking away from him. "There is nothing about the situation as it used to be." She said venomously.
The smile faltered off his face, but she could look in his eyes that his determination hadn't faded a bit.
"That's why we are here today. To rectify the situation."
Rose scoffed. "To rectify the situation?" A humorless laugh left her. "What have you got now? Some kind of space travel thing, that you could go and erase all these years?"
Rose fumed. Angry at him. Angry at herself for losing all her calm, when she swore she'd never let him see any of her weakness. Angry that she still cared! Angry at the situation. Angry at the whole damn world!
"I wish I had it." The sadness in his voice almost broke her. She squished the urge to run and take him in her arms. Comfort him like she used to do. The man was big, but Rose knew he was a coddler at his heart. She still remembered how he used to hold her tightly in his arms while they slept. How he used to inhale her scent as if it was the only thing that he wanted.
And at that time, she believed it. Rose believed him when he said he'd spend the rest of his life with her by his side. She believed when he said that he'd fight the world for her. That she was the most precious thing in his life. That she was the only good thing that had ever happened to him. She believed it all.
And look where it got her. She thought bitterly. He abandoned her. He left her at the last day of the school, without an apology, much less an explanation. She was wounded so bad she lived in denial for days. She couldn't believe it. How could she? When they were so much in love? When everything was going so well? How could something possibly get so wrong that it burst their happy bubble?
Not only that, she's pretty much experienced the five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.
The few weeks after him leaving, she lived in denial. He was coming back. She told herself. Something must have happened. Maybe Vika was sick again. Or Olena. He couldn't abandon her, could he? Why would he? She asked herself. Why would he not receive her calls? Why would she end up sobbing in his voicemails every time she called her? Why? Why? Oh god! Why?!
Then came – Anger. It happened abruptly, when she heard a robotic voice responded in her ears the 'the number you're calling, doesn't exist.' All this time she was deluding herself that somehow he must have lost his phone or broken it. That was the reason he couldn't connect to her, but no. He ended up his services with his service provider. He left her. For real.
Then came bargaining. She was lost in what ifs, wracking her for any mistake she must have done to make him leave. She must have said something hurtful, done something wrong. She pretty much blamed herself for his leaving.
The fourth phase didn't take long to overshadow all the other stages. Depression was the hardest. She would lie in the bed all day, lost in her own head. Nothing was happy anymore. Not. A. Thing. Everything reminded her of him. He was everywhere. His scent assaulted her. It was like living with a ghost. HIS ghost. Lissa and Christian were worried sick about her. Dimitri hadn't even told his best friend, Christian about leaving. He was abandoned too. Suffice to say, Lissa was her rock. She helped her get over it, filling her days with so much love and happiness that she had no other choice than to smile. She helped her stand up, taking the role of her primary guardian, best friend and sister for life.
The final stage – Acceptance. After three years, she finally reached a point where she had to accept that he was never coming back for her. She had no choice but to move on with her life. She did. She moved on. But she never forgot.
Lissa, Christian and her had left court somewhere during the 'depression' phase. And Rose had to admit that the change of scenery helped her big time. Over years, they got married, but stayed as far away from court as possible. Their daughter, Beatrice, as they called her Bea, was the turning point in her life. Falling in the role of protective aunt and godmother helped her a lot. She loved her to death. Unfortunately, due to the demise of Queen Tatiana, Lissa being the member of Dragomir family had to return to the court to give her condolences. Right after the funeral, a new King was announced. It was him. Dimitri Alexander Belikov – the first of his name.
"Roza…" His pained voice called her again after a stretch of silence.
Fuck!
He couldn't look at her eyes and witness all the pain. The pain he put there. If he could, he would kill himself. Oh what she must have gone through!
He left, yes. But he didn't do it for fun. It was hardly any fun! And while Rose must have gone through tough phases, it was no picnic for himself! How could he possibly explain her what he did, why he did?
But he had to make this better. He. Had. To. Make. her. Happy. Again.
His eyes hardened, so did his features. "Guardian Hathaway. I have a proposition for you."
"You asshole!" A voice screamed pushing the door to his study open, making the guards jump into alert. Dimitri lifted his eyes to see a vision of platinum blonde hair stroll into the office like she owned it. Dear ol' Vasilisa, Dimitri smirked.
"You sonofabitch!" She screamed on the top of her lungs. The poor guards seemed torn between doing their duty to protect their King and taking down the intruder or escorting the 'uncalm Princess' back to her quarters. Wary, they looked at Dimitri for orders. He sent an amused smile their way, dismissing them.
"Vasilisa." He smirked, knowing full well how much she hated her given name. "Long time no see."
"Don't look so amused, you piece of jackshit! You can't do this!" she screamed. Suffice to say, she was pissed. Big time.
"I can do anything I want. I'm the king, remember?" he teased.
"I don't give a rat's ass if you're the King. I'll strangle you with my bare hands! How dare you do this? How dare you ask her to come guard you?"
"I want her."
Lissa scoffed. "No you don't! You just want to play with her!"
All the amusement left Dimitri's face at the accusation. "You don't know shit!" he growled.
"I don't know shit? You don't know shit? Where were you when she was falling apart after you left her? Where were you when she would call you every day, never leaving her phone, in case you called? Where were you when she refused to eat? You left her only as a shell of herself! Hell, I don't even know if she's still moved on!"
"That's a good thing at least." Lissa looked at him with disbelief in her eyes. "I don't want her to get over me. Period."
"You're unbelievable!" she cried.
Dimitri growled. "You think you know everything, don't you? Tell me, how does it feel when you find a note saying if you didn't leave her, she'd be killed the first thing morning."
Lissa's eyes widened.
"Of course, you don't know!" Dimitri laughed bitterly. "I didn't leave her then. Couldn't even think of it. Then came the phone calls. Telling me how they would like to slit her pretty little neck. How they were monitoring her every move. How they were so close, they were breathing down on her neck. How about when you find out it was the queen, yes Queen Tatiana Ivashkov, making threats against her life? So I'd say Vasilisa – YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT!"
Lissa was stunned to silence. All the semblance of speech had left her. "Dimitri.."
"I don't want your pity! I left her to protect her. My calls were being monitored, I couldn't even talk to her!"
"But why?" Lissa gasped.
"The same reason she wanted you to marry Adrian instead of Christian. There were no threats against him, because surprise – he was a royal moroi! Which my Roza wasn't!"
"Oh god!"
"Yes, oh god!" Dimitri ran his fingers through his hair in agitation. "Look Lissa, I need your help. I know I hurt her, but I want to win her back. Help me. Only you could go through this."
Lissa was shocked beyond words. "I'm sorry I misunderstood you."
Dimitri smiled without humor. "You're not the only one."
"I…I'll help you, Dimitri. She loves you. I know this."
"I know it too."
Rose touched the blue badge, a sense of propriety overwhelming her. It was as if Dimitri was announcing to the world that she was his. His color, his brand. Her heart fluttered at the thought of being his again.
"Ready Rose?" Lissa asked smiling from the doorway. All of her things were already transferred to the royal palace, where her personal quarters were being set. Since Dimitri had chosen her as his primary guardian, she had to be on guard for all the waking hours, only getting relieved from duty, when he went to sleep. That meant, Rose had to spend her every waking hour with him.
Oh god! How would she go by having zero trace of him in her life for five years to being with him every second of the day! Dimitri Belikov was a dangerous man for her, she reminded herself.
'Don't get played this time', she told her heart sternly.
'They come first. Remember this', she advised her mind.
But even then, she couldn't tell her soul to let it go.
"As ready as I ever could be!"
"Guardian Rosemarie Hathaway," the guard at the door announced, pulling it open for her.
"Your majesty," Rose bowed down at the same time; Dimitri rose from the throne, handing some papers to his PA, Charlotte.
"Make sure you get the new bills on paper, arrange the council meeting and send a word to Lord Zecklos to organize everything. That'll be all." he said smiling down at her.
The petite moroi woman flushed, accepting the papers and nodding at him shyly. Dimitri must have not noticed, but Rose saw the adoration on her face clear as day. A green eyed monster reared its ugly face, making her feel something she didn't want to feel – jealousy.
"Yes, Dimitri." Charlotte batted her eyelashes, before trotting out of the room. Rose's eyes followed her every movement until she was out of her sight.
She scowled and turned back, only to find herself being engulfed by a large figure. Instinctively, she held up her arms to return the hug, before realizing suddenly that she was supposed to push away. She tried. Once. Twice. His hold was tight and she found her courage melting away with every passing second. God! It felt so good to be back in his arms! He smelled the same as she remembered – of his cologne and something that was entirely him. A wave of emotion hit her hard. She still felt for him! Dammit!
She shouldn't, she knew.
She must not! But she couldn't help herself.
He left you. He left you. HE LEFT YOU!
"Your majesty!" she said pushing herself back.
"Stop with it, already!" he said. "I told you. Call me Comrade."
Rose scoffed. "You never liked the nickname."
"Hardly." he smirked. "I loved it. Secretly so, but I did. I loved everything about you. Still do."
Be still her beating heart! Did he just admit that he loved her?
She wasn't sure she was ready for this. Heck! She wasn't ready for shit! Hastily, she changed the subject. "So, Charlotte? You like her?" Oh no! Wrong topic! She smacked herself in her mind! Fuck!
Dimitri's smirk got bigger. "Why? Are you jealous Roza?"
She flushed deeply, before clearing her throat. "Uhm…I think she has a crush on you."
"You think?" he raised one eyebrow.
Sudden rage filled her, "You're so full of yourself, aren't you?"
"You would know that," he said with a smirk. If possible, Rose's flush grew darker. She shook her head to clear all the diverging thoughts.
"So, when do I start?" she asked instead.
"Right now," Dimitri smiled. "Follow me."
He took her through some hallways, stopping to give her tidbits of information. "I work sixteen hours a day," he said. "So don't expect more than six hours of sleep. I know you love your bed."
"Don't worry. I have worked on even less." She assured.
"Give me your phone," he said. Wordlessly, she handed over her cell phone. He fiddled with it for a few minutes and then his phone beeped with a text.
"Here," he returned the device.
Rose looked down at the number he had saved. A deep blush broke through her as she read over the name under which he had stored it.
"Baby?"
"Yeah?" he smirked.
"Why'd you store it as such?" she asked amusedly.
"Wasn't that what you called me when we….?" he asked looking at her with a knowing smile.
"Whatever. I don't even remember," she murmured. Bluff.
They stopped in front of an intricately decorated double doors with guards posted on the either side.
"Your majesty!" They bowed simultaneously, pushing the door open.
"These are my chambers." He said waving his hands in indication. Rose nodded taking in everything silently. It was everything she could have imagined. Lavish. Spacious. Tastefully designed. Expensive. There was no personal touch although. No family pictures. Nothing. Except….
"Why do you have my photograph on your nightstand?"
"I love that picture." Rose looked at him incredulously. Seriously. This man was giving her whiplash. All of a sudden, he was back in her life, trying to woo the hell out of her! If he wanted her so much, why did he even leave in the first place?
"What do you want?" she asked hands on her hips and with a scowl on her face. "You don't need me as your guardian. So, what is it you want from me?"
"You. You and Me. I want you and me. Together. Again." he said without missing a beat.
"So you could leave again?" she mocked.
"No. I'm here to stay."
"How amazing of you!" Sarcastic words bit him. "Listen Dimitri….I can't do this again. Not anymore."
"Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked with a voice full of jealousy. Whiplash. Ugh!
"What do.."
"Answer me!"
"No. God, no!"
"Then why? Why can't you do this?"
"Because I…"
"Don't give that 'I don't love you' crap. I know you do. I can see it clearly in your eyes."
"Hello? Do you remember those five years ago, somebody left a girl? Without a goodbye, much less telling her why he was leaving? After he said he'd never leave?"
"I didn't do it for my fun! I had my reasons!" he bellowed.
Rose scoffed. "Reason?"
"Yes!"
"Let me guess….uhm… you found someone better? You had had your fill of a naïve dhampir?"
"Don't mock it, Roza!"
"Don't call me Roza!" she shouted.
One second he was standing on the other side of the room and the next second, she was pressed against a wall.
Before she could process it, Dimitri slammed his mouth over hers, taking her lips in an almost violent kiss. Rose gasped. He was kissing her. He was kissing her! She tried to pull away, but there was nowhere to go. The hard length of his body had her pinned. She protested, but he bit her lower lip with his teeth.
She moaned. Loudly. Embarrassingly.
Oh lord! She could feel him smile against her lips, before pressing harder.
"I'll call you whatever I want," he whispered gruffly against her ears, dipping his tongue in the shell. Rose shivered. "You know why?" he asked, whispering kisses along her neck, her jugular, the base of her jaw. She was a mess. A hot mess. And she liked it so much. She loved him so much. He was so close; she was dizzy on him, on his scent, on his eyes, on his lips. The ability to think and make decisions had long fled her mind. All that surrounded her at the moment was him. Him. Him.
"Dimitri…." Her voice was a groan. He grazed the top of the swell of her breast.
"Do you?"
"Dimi..No baby.."
"Because you're mine Roza." he said, weaving his fingers through her hair. "All mine, baby. All mine. I love you so much…."
That was the bucket of cold water she needed. She stiffened. He felt it and reluctantly stepped back, but not enough to leave her personal space.
"Roza…"
"No." She said, shaking her head. "No!" she said more forcefully, pushing him away this time.
"Ro…" he started.
But she was gone.
Rose plopped down on her bed with a heavy sigh. Her eyes were brimming with tears of frustration and humiliation. How could she?
She was supposed to be strong! Not melt down like a puddle of want at the first time he touched her. She cried softly, hitting the pillow on her bed repeatedly. Why? Why? Why could she hate him?!
Crunch.
Startling, she looked for the source of sound. A paper? On the top of her pillow?
She scowled, lifting it up and unfolding it.
"I'm sorry! Let me make up to you?"
Was all it read. She sniffled. Make up to her? How?
She hated that a small part of her wanted to know. That she knew deep down in her heart that Dimitri had left for a reason. And it hurt her that he couldn't trust her with his secrets, when she trusted him with all of hers. She knew he loved her. And that was what scared her to take him back. When she was with him, she was totally with him, lost in him. She didn't want to lose herself again.
And it was impossible now anyway. Because hello? He wasn't her Dimitri anymore. He was His majesty, King Dimitri Alexander Belikov.
Rose was so confused about her own damn feelings! She wanted him and she did not! She wanted to smack him and then kiss the hell out of him. Damn him!
The next morning Rose woke up to the smell of something….sweet? soft? Her eyes flew open to see around her room. Red. Blue. Pink. Dark pink. Her rooms were filled to the brim with Peonies. Her favorite flowers. They were everywhere. Every – fucking – where!
She didn't know whether to leap at joy of knock the sense off Dimitri who definitely had done this. She chose for the former option. With a squeal of delight she leapt up running her hands through the beauties.
Wait!
That wasn't the only thing. On top of two bouquets, there was a box of something suspiciously….donuts!
"I'm sorry. Let me make up to you?"
Hell! If this was the way he would make up to her, then she was game for it. Every day!
Three weeks later….
"It's Christmas week!"
"Like we don't already know about it, you don't have to squeal!" Rose snorted looking around the living room. Christmas decorations have totally invaded it. Bea had requested for a sky – high Christmas tree and Lissa and Christian had done their best to comply.
"You're such a party pooper, Rose." Lissa scowled.
"Tell me something new." Rose retorted.
"The smile on your face. That's new," Lissa said with a teasing smile.
Rose rolled her eyes, the 'said smile' never leaving her face.
"A girl has the right to smile after seeing her best friend after two weeks, okay?"
"Are you sure, you're this excited to meet me? Or it has anything to with a big bad Russian, who also happens to be the king…"
Rose scowled, or well…tried to. Her smile was way too big.
"Come on, missy. Throw me some scrapes!"
"It's nothing…We're just talking…"
"About what?"
"Nothing in particular. He asks for my opinions, talks to me about his day, he shares his meals with me, make jokes on stuffy royals…It just…I don't know. But I like it. He even cooked for me yesterday, you know? I mean who does that to your guardian?"
"No one I know of!" Lissa smiled. "So, he never tried to get in your pants?" Lissa asked.
"Aside from kissing the daylights out of me the first day? nope!" Rose sighed remembering the earth - moving, soul – shattering, passionate kiss.
"So…."
"Don't." Rose warned.
"At least, let me know. You're working on patching things up?"
"I don't know…"
"You don't know?" Lissa asked incredulously.
"I…he messes with my head."
"But it's a good mess up right?" Lissa asked hopefully.
A spark of irritation hit Rose. "Why are you so hopeful about this?"
"Should I not be?"
"Lissa. He left."
"And he's back now. Look how good things are!"
"And forget everything? Forget the last five years?"
"Have you asked him why he left?" Lissa asked.
"No."
"Why?"
"What do you mean why?"
"There were threats against you, Rose. Murder threats." Lissa deadpanned. Rose froze.
"Wha…what?"
"Last year of high school, Turns out Queen Tatiana didn't want any royal blood mixing up, so she set up this. She had you following, taped your phones and threatened Dimitri to leave you."
"Oh my god!" Rose exclaimed. She couldn't have conjured this up if she tried. Oh. My God!
"That's why, Rose. I know you're hurt. He did it badly. But look at him now! He's trying to be everything he promised he would be! He's trying to win you back! He loves you. And that sort of love is found only once in your life! So I'm begging you Rose, Don't leave him hanging. Let him know that he has a chance!"
Tears threatened to spill off her eyes. She didn't know how to reply to Lissa's queries. She was still processing all of it.
"I want to Liss…But how do I trust him?"
Lissa smiled sweetly, wrapping her arms around Rose. "Don't you know, silly? You already do!"
"Roza?" Dimitri asked, knocking on her door softly.
"Dimitri?"
"I…I was wondering if you'd…I mean you'd come with me to the sermon? I know you're off duty, and…"
"Okay." Rose said.
"Okay?"
"Let me change, first. I'll be there with you in a moment." She said, closing the door softly.
After ten agonizingly long minutes, she finally appeared. "You ready?"
She nodded. Dimitri took her hands in his, waiting for her to pull away, but surprisingly – she didn't. He smiled, a little relieved and a whole lot hopeful. Maybe it was working - him trying to win her back.
"Remember that Christmas night, when Jesse pretended to be Santa?" Dimitri asked as they neared the church. Something about being with her like this triggered old memories. Happy times!
Rose snorted in laughter. "How could I ever forget?! He tried climbing the roof and was stuck up there for the entire evening, freezing his ass out!"
"He caught frostbite in his ass, do you know?"
"Oh my god!" Rose howled in laughter.
"What good days!" Dimitri muttered.
"Definitely," Rose said, squeezing his hands.
"Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:39 NIV) Father Millers started the sermon.
"Did you know that your heavenly father wants to come home this Christmas? It doesn't matter who you are or what you've done or how long you have done it. God says, "I want you to come home to my love and forgiveness." That's what Christmas is all about.
The sermon continued and Rose clung to every word that came out of the priest's mouth.
Hope. Love. Forgiveness. Wasn't Christmas all about it? She glanced at Dimitri, sitting beside her in the first row.
Hope. Hadn't he held hope for her since the beginning? He had hoped she'd come back to him, doing everything in his power to win her back. Make her feel special. Make her happy.
Love. He loved her unconditionally. Even when he could have had anyone, he chose her. His love for her ran to the stars. The same way hers did.
Forgiveness. She had to forgive him. And he had to forgive her. Then and only then they could have be together. For real. For good.
Dimitri glanced at Rose who was still staring quietly at him. He raised his eyebrow in question, while a half smile tugged on his lips.
She shook her head, but shifted closer to him, her eyes seeking his hope and her heart – his strength.
"Dimitri?"
He startled looking up from where he was sitting on one of the chairs in his bedroom.
"Roza?"
"I…"
"You're still here?" His voice reverberated with hope that shone in his eyes.
"I wanted to talk to you." She said softly. "About things…"
"Oh…" A sigh fell off his lips as he stood up, walking towards her. She raised a hand to stop him at an arm's length. His eyebrows shot up in question.
"I need to say this. Please."
"What….?"
"I need to say something. And I need to let it off. I can't do that with you standing in my personal space. You mess up with my head."
A sheepish smile crept up on his face as he regarded her with curiosity. "Okay."
"I love you. I know you know that. But I had to say it again. I love you- Dimitri Belikov. From the first moment I saw you. I fell in love with you. I thought it was puppy love, but no. It ran deeper. Way too deep. When you left, I was at a loss of things. I didn't know what to do with myself. It was three painful years before I had any semblance of moving on. The photograph of you and me in the carnival that was the only thing that got me going." She took a deep breath.
"I was not the Rose everyone knew. I was afraid to go out and make friends, or just have fun. I believed if I had too much, then it will be taken away from me. Just like you were. Therefore I isolated myself, the sole purpose of my life was to make sure Lissa and Christian enjoyed their life at the fullest, do everything I couldn't do. That was until you came back…"
"I knew the first moment I saw you…you were trouble. Still, you made my heart skip beats. They never go away with you, the butterflies in my stomach. And that was the first thing I felt when I saw you again. I was angry, but that was only on surface. Deep down, some part of my heart knew it had a reason – you leaving. I wasn't even angry for that, no. I was heartbroken that whatever it was, you chose to hide it away from me. You had left me some serious trust issues Dimitri.
"But every day for this past month, you grew on me again. You worked me into trusting you again. And I was scared again – scared to be this weak around you. Therefore I filed for resignation. You break me down Dimitri. But it was only when I was in the church today, I realized that you build me up too."
"Roza…I'm sorry milaya. I didn't want to hurt you. You're not weak sweetheart. You're anything but weak. You inspire me every day. I work myself up every day to deserve you. I don't know if I ever will. But I do know that there will be no man walking on this earth who'd love you more than I do."
"I believe you." She smiled through her tears and threw herself in his arms.
"I've missed you so much comrade." She whispered cling to him.
"Not as much as I have."
"Let's not make a competition out of it." Rose chuckled. He pressed his lips to her. Not moving just holding it there with hers.
"Merry Christmas, Comrade."
"Merriest of all the Christmases, milaya. Merriest of all!"