Chapter 3: Creature Fear
Beckett and Castle take in a black cat on Halloween in early season three, this is their first Christmas together.
"He's going to hate you," she chuckles, watching from her curled up position on the couch as Castle attempts to ease a red and green sweater with a golden tinsel neckline over the kitten's head.
Sergio bats at his hand, tiny nails catching on Castle's skin. Rick hisses, drawing his scorned finger to his mouth, soothing the sting with his tongue. Kate snags her bottom lip between her teeth, tries not to laugh.
"Fine," he grumbles, dropping the Christmas sweater from the pet store to her coffee table and watching the black cat he once called bad luck leap onto the sofa next to Beckett. "But you're at least going to wear a festive collar."
"You shouldn't have made him wear that stupid turkey sweater for Thanksgiving," she muses, stroking her fingers through Sergio's fur as he settles down beside her. She smirks at the memory of the kitten dressed in a sweater with feathers protruding from the waist, resembling the mascot of Thanksgiving. Castle brought it over with the leftovers from dinner with his family and Sergio woke them both up later that night, crying for it to be taken off. "That was the first and last time he'll ever trust you with cat clothing."
"I didn't hear you complaining while you were taking pictures of him, which I believe are currently the screensavers on both your phone and home computer," he points out, rising from his knees on her living room floor. The black v-neck sweater he wears stretches across his chest as he stands, his eyes roaming her apartment while hers roam him.
After a long day at the Twelfth, a long week of investigating a triple homicide, she's wanted nothing more than a relaxing night in with her cat and the man who spent the last fifteen minutes trying to wrestle it into a sweater. Not to mention that ever since he showed up on her birthday and she couldn't resist leading him to her bedroom anymore, she hasn't been able to keep her hands off of him. Not that it surprises her. Wanting him for nearly three years, whether she chose to admit it or not, is bound to come with a prolonged period of desirable consequences.
It's been just over a month and the embers that crackle in her stomach every time he's around have yet to lose their heat.
"Do you think he would destroy Christmas decorations? A tree?" he inquires, glancing back to her with that excited gleam in his eyes that she knows too well. But Kate's brow only furrows.
"At your place?" They've never taken Sergio to the loft, solely because the idea of traveling through the city with the cat gives her a little too much anxiety. She can already imagine the chaos of Sergio loose in the subway. "It's hard to tell, you have the whole first floor covered in them-"
"No, here," he clarifies, assessing her home as if he's already plotting exactly how he plans to decorate it. It's still pretty bare, she's only been living here for a month and she wouldn't even have the furniture she ordered if Castle didn't pull the strings he thinks she doesn't know about with the shipping companies. "It's your first Christmas in your new place, Beckett. We've got to make it special!"
Kate swallows, really doesn't want to burst his bubble of excitement, but if he plans to be with her, if he plans to be around for Christmases with her…
"Castle, I don't really do Christmas," she admits, scratching behind Sergio's ears.
Castle tilts his head. "You don't celebrate it? Are you Jewish?"
She huffs a small breath of laughter, but shakes her head. "No, I just don't - after my mom died…" She purses her lips, searching for the right words, the right explanation. But all she has to do is think about how she feels every time the chill of winter begins to creep in, how the touch of cold takes her straight back to the alley where her mother was killed.
Kate risks a glance up from the sleeping kitten at her side to find him watching, waiting with so much understanding in his eyes, a fair dose of heartache too, but no pity. It's one of the things she's always appreciated most in him; he understands, he empathizes, but he's never made her feel like a victim.
It gives her the confidence to tell him the truth, to open up the way she never could with anyone else.
"We still hadn't taken our Christmas decorations down," she murmurs, busying her hands with the soft warmth of Sergio beneath her fingertips. "By the time my dad and I did, it was like we were putting Christmas away forever. We haven't opened those boxes since."
Rick finally moves from his planted position in front of her coffee table, circling the furniture to take a seat on the edge of the couch beside Sergio.
His gaze falls to the cat between them, something like shame hiding beneath his lashes. "I should've thought about that."
"You didn't know." Kate shakes her head, trails her fingers along Sergio's spine to reach Rick's thigh, brushing her knuckles to the muscle. "But it's why my dad spends each year at his cabin and ever since I became a rookie, I've volunteered to take the Christmas shift, so those other officers with families can celebrate while I keep watch."
"And you'll be taking that shift this year too?" he asks, no upset in his voice, in his eyes when they lift to meet hers. So why does she feel a hint of guilt as she nods her head?
"Look, Castle, I know you love Christmas and that you probably have a ton of traditions, but this is-"
"Your tradition," he finishes for her and her heart eases with relief. But it doesn't erase the trace of disappointment that flickered in his eyes. "I understand, Kate. I had no intentions of forcing you to compromise that and we don't have to decorate your apartment either. We'll play our first Christmas together however you want."
Their first Christmas together.
"I do hope I at least get to see you and Serg at some point during the day," he murmurs, grazing his fingers down Sergio's spine. The kitten's purring grows louder, his body going lax against Kate's thigh.
The unlucky kitten they found together at a crime scene on Halloween adores Castle, despite his recurring attempts to dress him for the holidays, and Rick adores the animal in return. They've only had the cat nearly two months, have been together for just half of that; it shouldn't feel like a big deal at all that they aren't spending Christmas together. She's never spent Christmas with any other boyfriend.
But Castle is more than a boyfriend. He's been her partner, her friend, for over two years.
"You'll see us," she assures him, slipping from beneath the cat's - their cat's - head on her lap. She leaves Sergio with a final stroke of her fingers along his head before reaching for Castle's hand.
He ascends from the couch at the tug of her fingers, swaying into her. Her body buzzes with anticipation at his proximity, always so eager for him. Physical attraction existed between them from the start. Even on the days she was tempted to shoot him herself, a part of her still wanted to press him up against the nearest wall, punish him in other ways. But over the past two years, the past two months, it's not just her skin that craves him.
"Christmas is still a few days away, Castle." Her arms twine around his neck. She's both excited and afraid that her heart wants him even more, that she's in severe danger of loving him. "Focus on spending tonight with me."
He grins, framing her hips in his all encompassing palms, and walking her backwards, towards the bedroom he's memorized the path to.
"Early Christmas present," he smirks and Kate rolls her eyes.
"You spend the night here all the time," she points out, and oh, he really does, doesn't he? She's lost count of how many times she's woken up with him in her bed, morning light streaking across his face, her cat curled on his bare chest. It's become her favorite thing to open her eyes to.
"Every night with you is a gift," he murmurs, his features softening, the smile on his lips gentle and adoring. Not a line or a tease, words she would never believe from any other man. But Castle's being genuine, always so open in his love for her, and it spikes her heart with need.
Maybe loving him back isn't such a terrifying thought after all.
Kate slows to a stop in her bedroom doorway, rises on her socked toes to kiss his mouth and bury the words she's not ready to say against his lips.
He vows to respect her traditions. Despite the hollow ache in his chest as he prepares Christmas dinner for tomorrow night, for three instead of four.
He understands, he truly does, but ever since he grew old enough to host Christmases on his own, since he was able to graduate both himself and his mother from one on one holiday takeout dinners in a tiny apartment to extravagant feasts in the loft, he's loved to go all out for Christmas, to make those he loves feel the magic. But Dick Coonan stole Kate's Christmas magic the moment he dug a knife into Johanna Beckett's side.
It's why she spends her holidays watching over the city, preventing others from suffering a similar fate. He doesn't just respect it, he admires it, admires her. But he also hopes that one day she'll be open to more, that she'll want more with him.
One day, when they have more than a cat to co-parent.
Castle pauses in his seasoning of the turkey and sighs. They've only been officially dating for a month and he's imagining a future that is far out of reach and will be for a long while. He loves her, he can admit that much, he has for a while now. But she's not there yet, she can't be, and she never will be if he manages to blurt some stupid comment about the years' worth of Christmases he hopes to have with her.
The buzz of his phone on the island interrupts his dangerous line of thinking and Castle quickly wipes his hands on a dishtowel, his heart skipping as he catches sight of the screen.
"Detective Beckett," he answers with the grin bleeding into his voice.
"Hey Castle," she greets from the other end of the line. His brow furrows, ears straining for the familiar sounds of the precinct in the background, but hearing nothing. It's too quiet. "What are you doing?"
"Um," he glances to the turkey sitting half done near the sink. "Basting a turkey, actually. You?"
He can practically hear the laughter she holds on her lips. "Hoping you could meet me at my place," she parrots and he straightens with ridiculous excitement.
But… she's not supposed to be home.
"I thought you were working tonight," he says, but even so, he's already transferring the turkey back into the fridge and moving to wash his hands.
"I worked most of the day," she affirms. "But I've got the night off and since I probably won't get to see you tomorrow-"
"I'm on my way." He balances the phone between his shoulder and ear, hastily washing his hands and trotting into the living room to find Alexis dozing on the couch.
"Take your time, Rick," she chuckles, but he doesn't want to waste time on a dinner he has all night to prepare when he could be spending even a few minutes with her instead. "We can wait."
"We, huh?" He smirks, always amused by how smitten Kate Beckett is with Sergio the cat.
"Shut up and finish with your turkey," she huffs, but he knows she's smiling even as she hangs up on him.
He chuckles to himself and shoves his phone into his pocket.
"Hey, Pumpkin?" he calls, watching Alexis's eyes flutter. They've been marathoning Christmas movies all day, the comfort of the holiday season on their projector screen, the mugs of hot chocolate, and the cold weather outside finally lulling her to sleep. "Don't get up, honey. Just wanted to let you know I'm stepping out for a bit, but I'll be back."
"Mm, tell Kate and Sergio I said hi," she smirks, snuggling under the fuzzy red and green blanket.
Castle huffs and bends over the arm of the couch to kiss the top of her head.
"I will."
He arrives on Kate's doorstep twenty minutes later, two bright red stockings full and cradled in the crook of his arm. He designed Kate's, her name embroidered in elegant gold script across the fuzzy white material lining the top, while Alexis put together Sergio's, his name sewn into the top as well with the addition of a large black cat patch next to it.
He hears the scratch of nails at the door before he can even knock. Kate opens the door a moment later, shaking her head at the cat crowding her feet before trotting forward to rub against his ankles.
"Hey, Serg," he chuckles, bending to pet the kitten, but Sergio's already trying to climb Castle's jeans. Rick sighs, they're never going to break him of that habit, and scoops the cat up before he can rip a hole in his pants.
Kate grins. "He missed you."
He glances back up to see her, a little dumbstruck by how gorgeous she looks in the rich green sweater and dark jeans, her hair in soft curls, and the smile on her face calling to him.
"Or he may just smell the catnip in his Christmas stocking," Castle muses, feeling the cat pawing curiously at the gifts in Castle's opposite arm.
Kate narrows her gaze on him, but steps aside to let him in.
"I'm not dealing with that by myself," she warns, but he barely hears her. His attention is hooked on the altered setting of her apartment. The change is subtle, but he notices right away - she's put up a few decorations.
"You have a tree," he gasps, delight filling up his chest as his gaze lands on the quaint but charming little Christmas tree on her coffee table, a few classic round red, gold, and green ornaments hanging from its slim branches.
"Kind of, yeah," she grins while his eyes scan the rest of the apartment. She has a string of lights on the window sill, gold and twinkling softly, a candle that smells of gingerbread burning in her kitchen. "Oh, almost forgot."
Kate steps forward, scratching her nails under Sergio's chin before slipping a collar around his neck. It's not gold tinsel or jingle bells, but the red and green striped collar is just enough for the kitten to be content and festive at the same time.
It sums up the entire scene well. He's always gravitated towards holiday extravagance, but this… the gentle glow of lights and the tiny tree, the nuzzle of Sergio against his neck and the lovely lift of Kate's lips - it's just as wonderful, may be even better. All he could want for Christmas.
"I know it's not much, but I just wanted… I know your family is back at the loft and you can't stay long, but I hoped we could do something small tonight."
"I - yeah, yes, of course," he nods too quickly, his heart rabbiting with joy. But he forces himself to pause, to think, before he dives into Christmas Eve with her, overwhelms her with it. This is arguably one of the hardest parts of the year for her and he wants to ease the ache of it, not risk throwing any salt in the wound. "But Kate, I know Christmas means something different to you, that it can be painful, so I don't want you to-"
She quiets him with a hand to his chest, fingers climbing the neck of his sweater to caress along the side of his throat.
"It'll always be a little painful," she concedes, but she's staring up at him with what he would swear is love in her gaze. Could she love him for Christmas? "But if we're going to be spending Christmases together, maybe I want to start a few new traditions with you."
Sergio stretches at his neck, pushing his head against Kate's knuckles. He wonders if she can feel the stop and stutter of his pulse beneath her fingertips.
Christmases together.
Maybe he's not so alone in his hopes for a future with her, in loving her, after all.
"Well, both of you," she murmurs, cradling Sergio's face in her palm.
Castle covers the back of her hand, pressing the stockings against his chest, but he ignores the dig of gifts into his sternum. He's spending Christmas Eve with Kate Beckett in an apartment she decorated for him with their cat purring happily against his chest, and he's pretty sure she loves him.
He leans in to brush a kiss to her lips, feeling her smile against his mouth before she's kissing him back.
This is one of the best Christmases he's ever had and it's only the beginning.
"Sounds perfect."