Chapter Nine:
Night fell once more and this time Sibella found herself wandering through the halls until she settled in the library. She flipped through some of Phoebe's books on vampires, eventually drawn to the copy of Dracula that was sitting on one of the tables.
Sibella opened it up, and her eyes landed on a particular paragraph:
"When Lucy- I call the thing that was before us Lucy because it bore her shape- saw us she drew back with an angry snarl, such as a cat gives when taken unawares; then her eyes ranged over us. Lucy's eyes in form and colour; but Lucy's eyes unclean and full of hell-fire, instead of the pure, gentle orbs we knew. At that moment the remnant of my love passed into hate and loathing; had she then to be killed, I could have done it with savage delight. As she looked, her eyes blazed with unholy light, and the fact became wreathed with a voluptuous smile. Oh, God, how it made me shudder to see it!"
She skipped a couple of pages to another paragraph:
"Take this stake in your left hand, ready to place the point over the heart, and the hammer in y our right. Then when we begin our prayers for the dead, I shall read him, I have here the book, and the others shall follow, strike in God's name, that so all may be well with the dead that we love, and that the Un-Dead pass away."
"The Thing in the coffin writhed; and a hideous, blood-curdling screech came from the opened red lips. The body shook and quivered and twisted in wild, contortions; the sharp white teeth champed together till the lips were cut, and the mouth was smeared with a crimson foam."
Sibella dropped the book and left it where it fell, having read enough, her fingers trembling slightly. Her eyes then glanced over another book, Carmilla. But before she could open it, she heard Phoebe come in.
"Oh, there you are," said Phoebe happily, "I was looking for you."
Sibella put the book down and gave her a small smile. "I've kept myself in here. Thought it would do me some good to read for a bit."
Phoebe sat down next to her, concealing something in her hands. "You know, you're not a prisoner here my love, you could've come and sat with Monty and I."
"I wanted to be alone," admitted Sibella, "I'm still trying to wrap my head around things."
Phoebe nodded softly, "I know darling. I'm so sorry."
"Read anything interesting?" she inquired after a moment.
"I read parts of Dracula," said the blonde, "It was rather… illuminating, I guess," Sibella trailed off, her fingers in her hair.
Phoebe glanced up, trying to read Sibella's expression, "What is it?"
Sibella shook her head, "It's nothing… it's just… I just don't want to scare anyone. Or hurt anyone."
Phoebe turned to face her fully, "Darling, you could never hurt anyone."
"But I hurt you! I nearly killed you the other night!" Sibella pointed out.
"Sibella, I'm fine, really," said Phoebe, "And you're not a danger here. Besides, I have a treat for you that I think will make you feel better. You haven't eaten in a while."
She then pulled out a bag of blood and handed it to Sibella. "I took this from the hospital today. I've got more downstairs if you need it."
"Thank you," said Sibella, hesitating before she accepted the package. "I'm not going to ask what lengths you went to get this."
"I lied," Phoebe giggled excitedly.
Sibella grinned, "Miss Prim and Proper lied? How very scandalous!"
"It was for you, of course I lied. I'd do anything for you."
Sibella looked up at her appreciatively, "Thank you, Phoebe. I mean it." She then opened the bag and sucked on the liquid.
Phoebe watched her, even though she thought she should have given Sibella some privacy and turned her head away. It was fascinating to watch the woman she loved gulp down the red liquid. Phoebe could feel herself becoming transfixed, like she couldn't pull her eyes away.
Sibella finished and put the bag down, glancing up at Phoebe, who felt like she had suddenly been snapped back into reality.
"Are you alright?" Sibella asked. "You look rather… well, darling, you look rather flustered."
Phoebe could feel the heat in her cheeks rising, and she finally remembered that breathing was a normal bodily function.
"I'm fine," she got out, but Sibella could see past it.
"I shouldn't have done that in front of you," said the blonde.
"No, no it's fine… it was just quite interesting."
Sibella laughed. "Interesting?"
Phoebe nodded, "Mhm." She moved closer to the blonde. She reached out and touched her hand lightly. "I'm so happy you're back with us."
Sibella looked up into her eyes, "I know you are. I'm trying to be happy too. I just have a lot to wrestle with right now."
"I know, but you have to see where Monty and I are coming from as well. We thought you were dead, darling. We thought we had buried you and that we would never see you again… and now you're back."
"As a monster," corrected Sibella.
"You're back nonetheless."
"You have such faith in me," said Sibella her tone almost suspicious, "How do you do it?"
"I love you," said Phoebe softly.
"I love you too," replied Sibella quietly. Phoebe's hand came up and caressed her cheek gently, her fingers trembling as she touched Sibella's cold skin. Her hand then entangled itself in her soft blonde hair, her fingers winding themselves around her curls as her lips pressed against Sibella's blood-stained ones.
Sibella's chest tightened as she felt Phoebe's kiss. She wanted to continue it, but she pulled away.
"I can't, Phoebe… I might hurt you again," she whispered, her eyes on the ground.
"I know you won't." Phoebe's quiet reply grabbed her attention. Her eyes snapped up to Phoebe's face.
"Phoebe, please…" Sibella's words fell to a whisper as she found herself voluntarily leaning in towards Phoebe and pressing her lips against hers.
Sibella's fingers tugged at the brunette's soft hair as they kissed, and they kept themselves wrapped around her locks even when Phoebe's lips had moved to Sibella's neck.
"I've missed you," murmured Phoebe in her ear, "I've missed this."
"I know… I've missed you too," whispered Sibella in return. "I love you so much…. I love you both so much."
Phoebe kissed her lips again, "We love you too." She smiled giddily as she moved from her chair to Sibella's lap.
Phoebe, once settled, began kissing Sibella again, her lips sucking on the excess blood that still lingered on her plump lips. Phoebe's tongue made its way into her mouth, and she stopped when she felt the sharp point of Sibella's fangs.
Sibella yanked herself away. "I can't. I told you," she got out after a few moments of silence, Phoebe breathing heavily and yearning for more. "You're afraid of me, aren't you?" Sibella asked her.
"No, I'm not," argued Phoebe, brushing her fingers along Sibella's jaw and leaning in close. "Darling I promise I'm not."
"You stopped still when you felt my fangs, the fangs I use to kill people," Sibella pointed out.
"Sibella, I don't care about that, they just felt different," said Phoebe softly. She attempted to kiss her again, but Sibella moved her head.
"Sibella…"
Her eyes roamed warily over Phoebe's face.
"What, Phoebe?"
"Please don't think of yourself as a monster," the woman whispered, "You're not. I promise. I have no reason to lie to you about this."
"You want to keep me here, that's reason enough."
"But you know I wouldn't lie. Not to you," Phoebe kissed her cheek.
"You both just want me here to be here, to pleasure you, for your own selfish interests, don't lie to me and say it's anything else!"
Phoebe took both of Sibella's hands in her own, "No, we don't. We want you here because you're here now and you're not dead, and Monty and I are so happy that we get to spend more time with you. We don't think you are a monster, and we just want to help you."
Sibella tugged her hands out of Phoebe's grasp. "You promise?" Her eyes bore into Phoebe, who nodded solemnly.
Phoebe nodded solemnly. "Yes, I promise."
Sibella gave her a small, light smile.
Phoebe grinned, thrilled by the sight, "Now no more talk of you being a monster, okay? I don't want to hear it anymore." She then kissed Sibella's lips hard so that Sibella didn't have enough time to formulate a bitter response.
Sibella's fingers entangled themselves in Phoebe's hair again. As she moved her lips to Phoebe's neck, she could feel the beating of her heart and the blood coursing through her veins.
"Oh, there you both are!" Monty's sudden appearance in the library startled them both, neither of them having heard the heavy door open and shut when he came in.
They looked up at him, Phoebe still sitting on Sibella's lap.
"Hi darling," said Phoebe, flushed and grinning excitedly.
"You both know that a library is supposed to be for reading, right?" he joked as he sat down in the armchair that Phoebe had been previously sitting in. He grinned at them, seemingly unfazed by the display of affection between the two women, having seen it many times before, and in more compromising positions than this.
"How are you doing?" he asked Sibella.
"Good, the blood from the hospital is doing wonders," she told him.
"I'm glad," he smiled. The blonde returned his smile faintly.
Monty then reached out and grabbed her hand gently, "We love you so much."
"I know," she murmured. Phoebe then grinned down at her and kissed her giddily. Sibella couldn't help but catch Phoebe's enthusiasm and neither could Monty. Soon they were all smiling happily at one another.
"Phoebe, your smile is infectious," remarked the blonde.
Phoebe continued to grin, her nose crinkling, her cheeks blushing, "I know," she laughed as she pecked Sibella's cheek and then Monty's.
"Shall we go off to bed now?" Monty asked. "We don't want to tire Sibella out."
"I'm fine," replied Sibella, glancing at the window and seeing that it was still dark out. "We could stay up and talk for a bit more."
Monty leaned his head on one of his hands, "And what would you like to talk about?"
"How was my funeral?" she asked suddenly after a moment of silence.
Phoebe and Monty both frowned heavily at that, neither of them liking that Sibella brought up the fact that they had once thought her dead.
"Sad, but beautiful. You would have approved, of course," said Phoebe slowly. "It was a wonderful ceremony."
"Lionel was an ass as always," commented Monty. "Parading around the church smiling and reminding everyone at every turn that he had been married to you."
"Well, we all knew that would happen," remarked Sibella bitterly.
Monty huffed at the memory, "I'm glad he's dead. Now no one is standing in our way."
"I doubt that Lionel was really standing in our way at any point, darling, but you are right to an extent."
Phoebe glanced at Sibella, knowing how much she hated talking about Lionel, whether or not he was dead and gone was beside the point.
"He used to control you, he was always standing in our way," remarked Monty angrily.
"Darling, you're getting yourself so irate, let's talk of something else," pleaded Phoebe, getting up and pressing a kiss to his forehead. She then settled herself in the chair next to him.
Monty sighed, running a hand through his hair. "How is the research going?"
"Quite well. I finished reading Dracula and that gave me some indication, and I have looked at some of the other books as well," said Phoebe.
"I looked at Dracula," said Sibella.
"Oh?" Monty seemed surprised, "And what did you think?"
"It made me feel worse about myself," admitted Sibella, "But it was rather interesting."
"Oh, darling, but you know Dracula is mostly fiction. It's not a true representation of you," said Phoebe softly.
Sibella looked at her and nodded without conviction, "I guess you're right."
Phoebe's face softened with concern, a gentle smile forming on her lips. "Please don't worry too much. You are not like Count Dracula, I promise."
"Or like Lucy?"
"Nor like Lucy," echoed Phoebe.
Sibella didn't look too convinced but she nodded anyways.
Monty glanced at the rising sun filtering in through the gaps in the drapes. "We should get going, we'll see you tomorrow night, Sibella darling."
Sibella noticed the sunbeams and agreed, getting up, kissing both of their lips.
"Sleep tight, my love," said Phoebe to her. Sibella nodded and gave her a small smile.
"See you tomorrow night."
Sibella went into her bedroom and shut the door. She drew in the curtains and slipped into the blue nightgown that Phoebe had lent her. As she lowered herself into the coffin, her mind was filled with the passages she had read earlier in the evening.
"At that moment the remnant of my love passed into hate and loathing; had she then to be killed, I could have done it with savage delight," and "The Thing in the coffin writhed; and a hideous, blood-curdling screech came from the opened red lips. The body shook and quivered and twisted in wild, contortions."
Sibella wondered if Phoebe and Monty would one day see her as this monster-esque figure. She knew right now that their feelings towards her were of love and devotion, but what if that changed? Sibella felt her chest tighten as she thought of how Monty and Phoebe might grow to fear her, especially if harm befell either of them because of her.
The subject of Matthew also came into her head. Although she had never met him, Sibella tensed up every time Monty or Phoebe mentioned him. He sounded like a man one would want to avoid. The fact that he wanted to rip her head off was even more off-putting.
Sibella bit her lip as she thought of what Monty and Phoebe had told her of him over the past several days, and though she hadn't said so out loud, she was quite frightened at the prospect of being killed by this Matthew person. She hated what she had become, that was true, but being killed would be a much worse fate because then she wouldn't see Monty or Phoebe ever again.
Finally, Sibella glanced around the room. Her eyes fell on a shiny glass mirror that was displayed on the wall in the corner of the room. The sun was starting to stream in, but the blonde found herself compelled to look, regardless. She hadn't seen herself since…well, Sibella couldn't quite remember when. She tiptoed to the mirror and gazed at it.
She saw nothing. Her appearance would not show in the mirror's reflection.
She could not see her blonde curls, her sapphire eyes, her crimson lips. Sibella could not see the sharp lines of her face and nose. She could not see the way Phoebe's nightgown hugged her slim figure.
Sibella saw nothing.
It felt like a stab to her gut to not see anything. She was hurt, and humiliated. The vainness that had characterized her youthful self was still present even in her new abnormal self, and when she looked at the mirror and saw nothing back. Sibella wanted to hurl it across the room.
Infuriated, Sibella was just about to chuck the item at the wall when she noticed the sunlight coming closer to her. She put down the mirror and quickly got into her coffin, angry and upset at her current form and lifestyle. As she closed her eyes, she couldn't help but fear for the events to come, no matter what the outcome could be.