Author's Note: This is weak and awful and I'm sorry. I haven't updated any of my stories in so long and am just trying to get back into the swing of things.
"She doesn't want to do anything for Valentine's day," he said, objecting to the meddling of his friend, David Rossi.
"Aaron! You're a profiler. You should know that she's just saying that."
Hotch considered this and began trying to figure out the signs. Was the fact she was making such a big deal out of not doing something a signal that she really wanted to celebrate it?
"It's your first Valentine's day together," Rossi pointed out.
Letting out an exasperated sigh, Hotch realized his friend was right. He usually was, but it was painful every time to realize he was wrong.
This conversation earlier was what had him in an awkward situation. Lingerie. Who's brilliant idea was it to buy her lingerie?
His face went beat red as the saleswomen giggled.
They must think I'm a pervert.
The nervous flutter in his chest caused him to curse at himself. He'd faced rapists, bank robbers and even serial killers and here he was… Ready to admit defeat at a lingerie store.
He reached out to touch a red lacy set and pulled his hand back as if he'd been shocked.
"Looking for anything in particular?" a voice piped up next to him.
"U-um, something for my girlfriend," he mumbled. Get it together, Aaron! You lead a team of brilliant FBI agents. You've faced the threat of death. You've interrogated some of humanity's worst! Find your voice.
She nodded, not seeming surprised. She wasn't. They got a lot of nervous boyfriends in here around this time.
"What size is she?"
Silence. What was he doing?
"You have to know her size!" The lady said, sounding almost amused.
"Well, better to guess too big than too small right?" Hotch asked, trying to avoid looking at the selection before him.
"If you want her to throw it in your face."
Hotch sighed. Was JJ really like that? He didn't think so, but some girls had a way of taking things the wrong way. Would she assume he thought she was fat? If he got it too small would she be dejected she couldn't fit?
"Wait," he said trying to rely on his memory tactics. He'd taken her bra off the other night, what had it said on the label?
He let out a relieved sigh before giving the lady JJ's bra size.
Smiling at him, she gestured to the other saleswomen and before he knew it, there was a selection in the size they'd assumed as JJ's.
He was stunned. Completely stunned. How many different items were there? There were black lacy nightgown seeming things. A crimson red bra and underwear set. Even a see through blue top with an attached tu-tu like skirt.
Was lingerie even a good idea? Why did these look too small? Was that just him? What colour did she like? What style? Did she even wear this stuff? He'd seen her in a couple outfits, but this was different.
All the life threatening situations he'd had to endure, and he couldn't remember ever feeling this stressed.
"Hold on a second," Hotch muttered reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone.
He needed help, and he knew just who to call.
Garcia's voice came through on the other end of the phone and he hadn't even heard what she'd said.
"I'm in a lingerie store," he said quietly, "and I need help."
"What? I didn't catch that. Did you say you were in a lingerie store?"
"Yes," Hotch said turning his head away from the prying eyes of the saleswomen.
"JJ?" she asked, and though she tried to keep her voice flat, he could hear the laughter.
"Yes," he replied. "Please help me."
This time her piercing laugh came through loud and clear. "Text me the name. I'm on my way."
Relief. He forced a smile at the women watching him as he hung up.
"Help's on the way?" one of the women asked.
He nodded. "I'll… Be back."
He couldn't get out of there fast enough, leaving the saleswomen with a pile of lingerie in their arms. As he escaped the store, he wondered what it would take it convince Garcia to go in there without him. At this point, he was completely done with Valentine's day. He should have never listened to David Rossi.