"Aren't you hot?"

"No Cullen, I am not hot. I am used to dressing like this."

"My name is Edward. My friends call me Ed, and I am just saying that cowboy boots in this heat make you look a little touched in the head."

"Look, Cullen. There is nothing wrong with wearing cowboy boots. They are the preferred footwear of where I am from, and I grew up wearing them. I am used to them."

"Guess it doesn't hurt that they make you a little taller either, huh? So, what is your first name?"

"Why? Why do you need to know my first name? You know my last name and that is suitable for getting my attention or addressing me."

"Do you have an embarrassing first name? Where are you from? Georgia? Louisiana?"

"Do you really want me to kick your ass today? Of course I am not some damn coonass! Jesus boy! Have you no sense? I am from Texas!"

"Ahh, cool, me too, so maybe that's why they stuck us together in the dorm and stuff."

"Are you fucking kidding me? You are from Texas? You don't sound like you are from Texas. Whereabouts? Who are your people?"

"Quid Pro Quo, Whitlock. You tell me your first name and I'll tell you something about me."

"No. Never mind then, I will just find out from the department advisor when I meet with them tomorrow."

"OH boy! It much be a good one if you won't tell, I am going to have to guess. Let's see, I know your first initial is J because I saw that on your gear, so that narrows it down quite a bit."

"Just give it a rest Cullen, we are at the barbers."

"Oh good! More people to help me guess!"

He hopped out of my truck and went loping into the shop like a big, demented giraffe, a goofy grin on his face and I could see him animatedly talking to the old Mexican barber standing behind the counter. It was my luck that there were at least 3 other people in there including the barbers teenage daughter who helped out around the shop sometimes. She was eagerly listening to everything Cullen was saying and peering through the window of the shop at me like I was a rare zoo specimen. I debated putting the truck in reverse and leaving him there, but I knew I was just delaying the inevitable. I had to get him dialed in and ready to go for inspection, otherwise we both would be hung out to dry, especially since I knew the department was wary of taking someone like me on due to all my injuries. I had jumped through too many hoops already to lose it due to that knucklehead. I had no idea what his deal was. He could not seem less like a cop and I had no idea what the hell he thought he was doing trying to go to a police academy that was going to be filled with Marines and other former military to become something that seemed to be about the direct opposite of his personality type.

The director said he was some computer whiz kid? Well then why wasn't he off in that new gold mine for his type called Silicone Valley or some bullshit like that? Why was he here, complicating my life?

"Hola Senor Whitlock, your friend here tells me you both need the usual?"

His grin was barely suppressed as he guided me to my usual chair as his son took Cullen to his station.

"Actually, we will be getting inspected on Friday so you might ought to take us to inspection standards, okay?"

I grinned and winked at the old barber as he nodded and barked orders at his son in Spanish. Cullen didn't stop guessing names as the barber fastened the cape around him and first began trimming the mop of hair with scissors.

"Julian?"

"No, Cullen. Not even close. Just let it go. I'm not telling you, you don't need to know."

"Julius?"

"Jeesh Cullen! I'm a Texan. A 10th generation Texan I don't think that name even exists in Texas."

He wasn't paying attention as the man cutting his hair finally took the clippers and stepped in front of him and then firmly grasping his jaw in one hand to steady him, with the other, took the clippers and steadily ran up the middle of Cullen's skull, peeling him like a grape, just as the elder barber did the same to me. Inspection standards to me meant pretty much no hair. It was easy to keep clean and definantly made sure no stray hairs were on the ears or collar, for at least 6 months to a year. The look of horror that crossed Cullen's face as long pieces of hair began raining past his eyes was picture worthy, and I wished I had captured the moment.

"I thought that would shut you up."

"Oh my God! What did you do! I'm going to be bald! I can't be bald! What the hell!"

The barber worked swiftly and steadily since he was already committed, and before too long Cullen's skull was gleamingly whitely in front of us. It actually wasn't a bad look for him. He had disturbingly bright eyes and deep dimples that appeared when he realized that I was staring at him.

"Like what you see Whitlock? Do you have some kind of bald fetish or something?"

"No! It's just shocking to see you not looking like some hippie reject."

"Jehosephat"

"What? Are you simple? Who the hell would name their kid that?"

"Jose?"

"Do I look Mexican? No offence senor."

"None taken senor Whitlock, Joseph?"

"No sir. It's not Joseph."

"Jesus?"

"Cullen, I am not even going to dignify that."

"Aww come on Whitlock, what is your first name? Everybody here wants to know now. Are you ashamed of it? Is it that bad that you don't want to share it?"

"No! It's not bad, it's a very traditional, old, family name but it's also none of your business."

"Jethro"

"Cullen just let it drop and pay the man so we can go get your stuff."

"Its Jethro isn't it? Wow…did your parents hate you or what? So now we know why you became a Marine, you got your ass kicked every day in school for that name."

"Aye Dios!"

"Cullen, we better take this outside."

"Are you going to grab my junk again, because I gotta tell you, if you want to do that, you should probably wait until we are at my apartment?"

"Adios Senor. Gracias"

I turned and walked out of the shop leaving the giggling shop owners daughter staring after me as I stalked to my truck with Cullen loping after me in his weird, ungainly gait"

"Jethro! Jethro! Wait! Don't get mad! I was just teasing you again. Come on Jethro, grow a sense of humor."

"MY NAME IS NOT JETHRO!"

"So what is it?"

"If I tell you, will you shut the fuck up and quit harassing me?"

"I'm not harassing you; I'm merely trying to get to know you."

"Why do you want to get to know me? We are nothing alike. I have a mission, a goal and I determined to reach it. I am going to finish the academy, graduate, go to work for the department and eventually make rank. You? You might make it, you might not. Either way, you will end up in some office where they keep the science geeks. We are just stuck together for the time being."

"I don't have anybody else."

"What?"

"I don't know anyone, I don't have anyone else. I just needed a friend."

With that, the light seemed to go out of his eyes and he looked dejected and like he truly was alone in the world. I could see the barber's daughter glaring at me from inside the barber shop and I felt as bad as he looked.

"Jasper, my name is Jasper."

"Are you fucking kidding? Really? Well, what about your middle name?"

"Monroe"

He laughed so hard he actually snorted as I stood there fuming, wondering if I could drive him far enough into the desert so that he wouldn't be found.

"It's an old family name, passed down through the men."

"Couldn't they have passed down money or a house or something else? Holy Shit! I'm sorry."

"Don't push it, Cullen."

"Okay…Jasper Monroe. Holy Shit! You don't even have the fall back of a middle name to save your ass. I'm soo sorry!"

He broke into gales of laughter as he got into the truck, rubbing his now mostly bald head.

"Was this hideous mess of a haircut really necessary or were you just messing with me because you knew I was going to laugh at your name?"

"Well Cullen, my daddy always said, 'the best way to fix a broken thing is to tear it down to its basic frame and rebuild it from the ground up so you know it's done right.' You are going to get a total rebuild starting with the haircut. Next thing we are going to have to fix is your uniform. You can't be showing up to class looking like you crawled out of a laundry bag. Do you have any black boots, khaki pants or anything close to what the uniform is?"

"God I hope not! Why would I have owned any of that before, I do have some taste and hope of getting laid in the next decade or so?"

"Cullen, you need to forget getting laid. The academy needs to be your focus for now. You are a mess and in crap shape. Once we get your shit moved and get you squared away with your housing, we need to get you started on a PT program. You won't have the energy after I am done with you to care about getting laid."

"But Jasper, I thought you said you weren't gay?"

"Cullen, shut the hell up, you know what I meant."

"No, really I didn't, explain it to me. Are you going to work me HARD? Are you really going to give it to me?"

"Cullen…"

"Will there be lots of push up's and squat thrusts? Do tell, Jasper, will we be working up a sweat?"

He was making me smile in spite of myself, because as annoying as he was, he was pretty funny in a juvenile sort of way.

"Jasper, are you smiling? Holy Shit! You ARE! Oh. MY GOD! "

He rolled down the window of the truck and began yelling, "He's smiling! Oh My God people! Jasper MONROE Whitlock is SMILING!"

I wanted to kill him at that point, but I decided it might just be easier to feed him a late breakfast to hopefully shut him up. It didn't really help, he ate a huge amount of food, 2 giant burritos and a bowl of refried beans which I feared I would regret introducing him to later, and he chased it all down with the largest amount of soda I have ever seen an adult male drink in one sitting. He kept up a running dissertation about his computer stuff, most of which went so far over my head that I couldn't, to this day, tell you what the hell he was talking about, but apparently he had been part of a group of college guys who had designed some program that was sold to some company, making a lot of money so he was able to go to college, but while he had gotten a degree, he was too young to really get taken seriously by any company so he hadn't been able to get a job. He had been headed back to Texas to see if his parents would let him come home for a while. He had stopped off in town to visit some friends here in town and decided to stay for a bit. He had just turned 22, and apparently had been pretty much on his own since getting involved in some small town scandal when he was 16.

The academy had come to his attention when one of his roommates had applied and been rejected due to a conviction for some drug arrest. He said had never really given much thought about what he was going to do when he grew up, but he had heard that eventually the FBI and other agencies would all be linked and sharing information over a huge network of computers that would link the entire world and share information almost instantly, and he thought it would be a good idea to be someplace where he could be in on that, considering the program he had helped to develop was along those same lines.

I thought it all sounded like Big Brother kind of stuff, but I let him ramble on about himself because it meant for once he wasn't hassling me.

"So, this was my room."

He pointed to a grimy couch that was piled with what looked like a week or two worth of dirty laundry and pizza boxes. His apartment looked like some of the crime scenes I had been on when I was a volunteer with the department before I got accepted to the academy. The carpet was sticky, and there were beer cans, food boxes and just general filth all over the place.

"Have a seat, Ill grab my bag and pack up my stuff. It should take me too long, I don't have too much."

"I'm not going to sit anywhere in here, how about you point me in the direction of some of your stuff and I will help you pack it up?"

"Actually, this is pretty much it."

He held up a black trash bag that held God knows what and shrugged. "I really haven't bothered to do much shopping lately."

"Good God, Cullen! Do you have any money at least?"

"Yeah, money I have plenty of, why?"

"Because apparently we are going to have to pretty much not only rebuild from the frame out, we are going to have to replace as well."

We spent the rest of the day hunting for him clothes and things to outfit him for the academy, including underwear, which I insisted on.

"So, what do you think? Boxers, briefs, or would you prefer these newfangled boxer-briefs, I can tell you that they are all the rage out in L.A. and they really show off the package while giving you the coverage of boxers. C'mon Jasper, I will even buy you a pack of them! Ill just bet there are some boys sizes around here somewhere!"

"Stuff it, Cullen."

"I don't really think I need to, I mean, come on! I saw you looking; you know that no stuffing of my briefs is necessary." He pulled the front of his jeans out and looked down at his package as shoppers were walking past. "It's not anything that needs any help being more impressive."

"Cullen! Stop it! People are looking."

"Really? Cool! I had thought about being an actor, but I thought maybe I was too tall. Maybe I should do porn? You wanna just leave here and go do porn, Jasper?"

"Cullen."

"Jasper Monroe Whitlock?"

"It's time to go."

"Can we get something else to eat? Its supper time and I am starving."

"You have got to be kidding! You had that huge late breakfast and then you have been snacking all day long, how in the hell could you be hungry?"

"Uhh…I'm a growing boy?"

"Fine, I guess we will stop for something. But you have to have something healthy this time, try a salad or something with some vegetables in it."

"Eww! What the hell is wrong with you, how about a pizza and some beer?"

"No beer, you are officially in training now and that beer gut you have needs to go. I can't be dragging you around the PT course. You are going to have to learn a new way of eating and living, and I will be teaching it to you, because it's pretty obvious that you are barely house-broken."

"I'm housebroken; I promise I haven't piddled on the rug in years."

"Yeah? Well, you haven't been through training like I am going to put your through, either. If you don't piddle on the rug after the first month, then I will treat you to a pizza then."

'Ohh! You promise? Yummy! I will make sure if there is any piddling, I miss the rug."

"Cullen! Get off of me! Dudes don't hug dudes around here! Cut it out!"

"Aww c'mon Jasper, you know you like it. You show me your way of life, and I will show you mine."

How was I to know that my way of life would be the one to win, and I would live to regret it?