Sorry for the really late update. This is the second last chapter to 'Kill Order'. I just could not find much inspiration, so I basically forced myself to sit down and write it because, as I said before, there is nothing that I hate more than an unfinished or abandoned story. Hope you enjoy this chapter.
~The Clock Struck Two, Road Came To The Rescue~
Lavi was in deep thought.
Normally, that was not a situation that people would normally see Lavi in. Not to say that he never did any deep thinking, because he did, but it was just that people never saw him do it.
It was such an unnatural sight that, naturally, Lenalee and Kanda were very dumbfounded.
But the unnaturalness of the sight or the natural reactions were not the important matter, per se. The important matter was the matter that Lavi happened to be thinking about, which was, the unnaturalness of Allen's uncles.
Wasn't it a bit too convenient that Allen just happened to run into them in the middle of the night, in the middle of the city? Not to mention their shady names. Ned and Freddy. For some reason, it seemed to Lavi that these not not their real names. And that uncle Freddy guy, he looked awfully familiar for some reason. Had he ever run into him while collecting information for Bookman? Nah, that wasn't possible. Lavi had eidetic memory. He was able to recall any and everything with great precision. But he couldn't, for the life of him, recall where he had seen that man.
"Urn, Lavi, are you okay?" Lenalee asked in a worried tone. "You're starting to scare me here. Your face looks all constipated."
When Lavi didn't immediately answer, even Kanda grew worried(although he would never admit it in his next seven lives). "Oi, Idiot Rabbit, what sort of weird shit are you thing about?"
"Hey, don't you think Allen's uncles looked a bit shady?" Lavi finally spoke.
Kanda scoffed. "Of fucking course. Is that what got your panties in a twist. That beansprout himself is fucking shady as hell, obviously his relatives will be the same."
Lavi sweat-dropped. Yup, Kanda was as dumb as always. "No, that's not what I'm talking about. I just feel like there was something suspicious about them. Especially the Freddy guy. Seems like I've seen him somewhere but I can't recall it."
Lenalee pursed her lips. "Come to think of it, he did look rather familiar. Have I ever met him at a cafe or something? But then there would be no reason for him to look familiar to you, so that's a no-no."
"Hmm, maybe we've seen him in a photo?" Lavi suggested.
Lenalee and Kanda nodded. Yeah, that made sense. But they saw the photos of their targets and other people all the time, how were they supposed to remember one single photo? But in the end, they did end up remembering. Or rather, Kanda ended up remembering.
"Holy shit!" he suddenly exclaimed, "It's- It's Cross fucking Marian!"
It took a few more moments for the information to finally click in Lavi and Lenalee's head. And when it did-
"No way! Ugh, yes way! How could I not remember it before? Of course it's Cross Marian! It's always Cross Marian!"
"But isn't he supposed to be dead? Didn't he, like, get caught in an explosion in Japan or something? How's he alive?"
"Idiots, it doesn't take a genius to figure that out, does it? Obviously, it was fake. It's not the first time someone faked their death."
"Well, looks like we at least found a Noah acquaintance. That is what we came here for, right? I actually don't even remember anymore."
"That's fucking stupid. I thought we came here to buy Komui's coffee."
"No, no, guys, you're both totally missing the point. If that guy is really Cross Marian, then that means that Uncle Ned is Neah D. Campbell and Allen is the Allen Walker!"
And then, there was silence.
When Lavi's last statement finally registered itself in all of their minds, they realized that it was actually true. The Jester, the Fourteenth and the General, all in the same place. The three top members of the Order's kill list. All. At. The. Same. Place. As. Them.
And then, there was chaos.
"Yuu-chan's holy hairband! This is, like, a once in a lifetime opportunity! We could get rid of the top enemies of the Order together!"
"That's cool and all but, how are we supposed to do that? And FYI, Kanda's actually using my hairband."
"Did you have to go and tell him that? Fucking woman. But seriously, how are we supposed to get rid of them?"
"Um, we don't really have any killing equipment with us 'cause we weren't supposed to kill anyone... A hand-to-hand fight maybe? I'm sure we could all kill people with our bare hands. And Lena-Lady has her heels!"
"Ugh, that's like the single dumbest plan that I've ever heard. But we don't have any other way it seems like. I can't believe I'm agreeing to the Idiot Rabbit's plan, what has the world come to. And change your fucking pants, Lena, you look hideous."
"What?! Kanda, you should never, ever insult a woman's looks. But I'm letting you off the hook this time, because you are actually quite right and we have more important things to focus on right now."
And that was how the Order members reached the decision to engage in a fist fight with the Noahs.
Elsewhere, in another room of the very same bar, the Noahs came to the very same decision. But the process was slightly different.
"So, I've got two things. One, we kill Link first and then fight the Order. Two, we kill the Order first and drug Link later," said Allen. He was the only one actually doing any productive thinking. Cross was to busy wondering what sort of women will be there at the party while Neah was whining about how his suit had been ruined by Road and he didn't have anything to wear.
How was he related to these two again?
Oh right, he wasn't. Thank goodness.
"Are you even listening? If you aren't, then I'm letting Black Allen out," Allen threatened, and it worked like magic. Immediately, both Neah and Cross totally forgot what they were doing before and sat up straight. Allen smiled, pleased with himself.
"Ah, right, the Order. What's the difference between the two options, anyway. All of them will be killed, end of story. Who cares which one is first," said Cross, reaching into his pocket for a cigarette and then cursing when he could not find it.
"Hmm, we'll have to get rid of evidence, too..." said Neah.
Cross and Allen both gave him a pointed look. "Weren't you the one asking just before about why we have to hide evidence? Why are you so eager to do it now?"
"What? That's cheating! You two were the ones that said we had to do it. Stop being so contradictory!" Neah whined. He was ignored.
"Although I did give you two awesome fake identities, they might have already figured out that you're Cross. And if they figure that out, they'll know who me and Neah are too," said Allen, "And since we don't have anything to effectively kill with, an all-out brawl is probably the only thing that we can do."
"Yeah, a direct confrontation is inevitable," said Cross, "We'll have to settle everything in an old-fashioned fist fight."
"Actually, we-" Neah started but was immediately cut off by Cross and Allen's synchronous, "You shut up."
Neah pouted and then again started whining. Other than the steadiness with which he could stick, another great point about Neah was the annoying-ness with which he could whine.
"Why is it that the only time you two ever agree on anything is when it comes to telling me off?! I blame you, Cross, this is all your fault that my dearest Allie-pop has become like this." And there was another great point about Neah, his inability to see a fault in his dearest nephew.
Said nephew shuddered at the dreaded nickname used by Neah. He then took a very deep breath, reached into his pocket, took out a pack of cigarette and a lighter, handed one to Cross and put one in his own mouth and lit it.
Next time, he was definitely going to remember to bring Jasdevi's drug candies.
Thankfully, Neah did not complain about Allen smoking and instead grabbed one for himself. The three of them took a long drag in sync and then let out a sigh. The were going to have to face the Order soon. It was already dawn by now.
"Okay, so we're going to kill the Order and get back to the manor before Road and Tyki arrive. Yup, no biggie," said Allen, "But first.."
"We need to have breakfast," they finished all together.
Meanwhile, in another room of the very same bar, Inspector Howard Link reached a very different decision.
No, no, not the breakfast decision, the direct confrontation one.
He was planning on fleeing from the place first thing after breakfast. And then the first thing he would do would be to go to his superior Lvellie and resign from the police. To hell if he was ever going to search about Noahs again. He was rather going to save up his money and open the pastry shop that he had always wanted.
Yes, he was going to live a nice, quiet life free of crazy Noahs and random strangers who liked to bar-hop and shoplift.
He let out a dreamy sigh at the thought of a life like that. Free of all those abnormal people and filled with tasty apple pies instead.
He made up his mind. He was going to flee this inn and live his bakery dream. And no one was going to stop him.
It was now around 10 a.m. All the Noahs and the Order and Link had separately had their breakfast, and were now preparing to carry out their respective decisions which they had made during 3 a.m, that is, the hour of bad ideas.
Link struck first.
He quickly shuffled to the bartender discreetly(or so he thought) and quickly asked her what the pay was, so that he could quickly just get out. The bartender sized him up for quite a long time(or so it seemed) before finally telling him how much money he had to pay.
When he heard, he fell from the sky.
"WHAT?!" His shrill scream resounded through the inn, "I ONLY STAYED FOR A NIGHT! THEY DON'T CHARGE THIS MUCH AT FIVE-STAR RESTAURANTS!"
Unfortunately, Link was too late to realize that he had just made a huge mistake. His scream had alerted the Noahs to exactly what his plan was, and there was no way they were going to let him get away after knowing their identities.
"Quick, the police is escaping. Catch him!" Cross whisper-yelled, immediately getting into action. Neah and Allen were way ahead of him, already running towards the counter where Link was still standing like a dumbass.
"Shit!" Link yelled out when he realized what he had just done, but by that time, it was too late. Allen had grabbed him by the waist while Neah and Cross cornered him from both sides.
Allen made a gesture to the bartender and although it looked meaningless to Link, the bartender understood it just fine and left the counter. It had been a sign to evacuate the inn, because a fight was about to break out.
The Black Order members also knew what that sign was, and it struck them, for the first time, that the Noahs were aware of their identities and had just signaled for the fight to start.
Kanda was the first to spring into action, swinging his word Mugen in a dangerous and threatening way. Or at least, it was supposed to be dangerous and threatening, but it was quite hard to take him seriously when there was still leftover soba sticking in various parts of his mouth.
Lenalee, who had now changed from her pants back to her skirt, also stood up and started making her way to the Noahs too. The heel of her boots clicked on the wooden floor, emphasizing on just how deadly her boots were.
But Lavi did not move. Because unbeknownst to anyone, he had accidentally caught a glimpse under Lenalee's skirt when she was standing up. And all the vigor had just left him at that moment.
It took some time, but he finally managed to pull himself together and joined Kanda and Lenalee in circling the Noahs in cliche villain-style.
"Alright," said Cross, grinning, "Play time's over."
And immediately, the two parties sprang into action in pairs, Allen with Lenalee, Kanda with Cross, Neah with Lavi. Poor Link, who was caught up in the middle of it, felt like crying. What had he ever done to get involved with these people? Now he wanted, more than ever, to just get the hell out of this place.
Allen and Lenalee were going so fast that they were practically just a blur to an onlooker. Lenalee was mostly on the offensive, landing kick after kick mercilessly. To his credit, Allen dodged each and every one of them and retaliated with his own punches and kicks here and there. They were both rather evenly matched and, secretly, they were both actually rather enjoying the fight. It was a shame they they would have to kill each other afterwards.
Cross and Kanda were both fighting somewhat lazily. Kanda was swinging around Mugen trying to land a hit while Cross was trying hard not to laugh and pulling all sorts of dirty tricks which got on Kanda's nerves. And both of them were swearing mightily, so much that it would have put all sailors to shame.
Neah and Lavi's fight was slightly. Along with each punch and kick, both of them were cracking some really bad jokes and puns. They were so bad that a normal person would have died just hearing them(which is why they will not be repeated here), but neither of them were very normal. Each was the self-titled 'King of Puns' and they were one-upping each other with bad jokes.
The clock struck twelve. The fight was nowhere near finished.
Road was getting bored. There was only so much decorating someone could do. The whole manor had been decorated from head to toe, ceiling to floor, every nook and corner. If she had to decorate anything, she swore she was going to die of boredom.
'Road Kamelot. Beloved daughter, sister, niece and murderer. Died of boredom at the age of nineteen.' It would be written on her gravestone. What a pathetic way to die, it would be.
And so, Road did the thing which she always did when she was bored. Annoy Tyki.
"Oi, Tyki~ Are you listening to me? Say, say, when do you think Allen's gonna return? I miss him! Hey, Tyki~ Play with me~" Road whined.
Tyki heaved a deep sigh. He had just been reading a very interesting book before Road decided hat it would be a good idea to annoy the hell out of him. Now what was he supposed to do. Once Road had made up her mind, there was just no way to convince her otherwise.
"Hey, Tyki, it's getting rather late. When is Allen gonna come? Didn't I say they had to be back by noon?"
"No, actually, you said they had to be back by afternoon. There's a difference," said Tyki.
Road stuck her tongue out at him. "Stop being a smartass like Wisely, Tyki. It doesn't suit you. What's the time, anyway? Let's go fetch them!"
Tyki sighed again. He had been anticipating something like this for some time now. And since he had absolutely to energy to argue with Road right now, he decided that he might as well go along with it and fetch Allen, Neah and Cross. Come to think of it, what was taking them so long, anyway?
"Alright, let's go," Tyki said as he closed the book and stood up. Road's eyes immediately lit up and she bounced off the sofa she had been sitting on, clapping an squealing like a five year old who had just opened her birthday present.
Well, Tyki supposed there wasn't much difference between Road and a five year old.
The two of them said goodbye to the earl and headed outside. Tyki got into the driver's seat of his car and Road climbed into the passenger through the window, because she said it was too much of a drag to open the door. Personally, Tyki thought it was much more of a drag to propel oneself through the window, but hey, what did he know?
Road took out her transmitter which was connected to Allen's 24/7.
"Oh, they're at that inn. Uh, I don't remember the name but, you know, it's that one. Where we always go for drinks and one night stands."
"Got it," said Tyki, and started driving.
They were at the inn before long. Road was practically bouncing with excitement at the thought of seeing Allen and Tyki just wanted to get this over with. The two of them got out of the car, Road again through the window, and made their way to the inn, only to see that the place had been evacuated.
"Oh no, they're fighting, aren't they?"
Road and Tyki opened the door to the inn, and what greeted them could only be described with one word. Utter chaos.
OK, that was two words, but whatever.
There was Neah, pulling the cheeks of some unknown redhead boy. Cross was fighting and swearing with a Japanese man(?) with a sword. A blonde man, whom, they recognized as their next door neighbor, was sitting on the floor, looking like he was about to cry. And- and then Road saw the sight that almost gave her a heart-attack.
There was Allen, pinned to the ground in a rather suggestive position by a pig-tailed woman who had her knee on Allen's chest and Allen's hands were around her neck and they were both looking onto each other's eyes with such fierceness that- that Road wanted to rip the woman's heart off.
"YOU BITCH! YOU DARE TO STEAL MY ALLEN FROM ME! I WILL KILL YOU A THOUSAND TIMES OVER AND RIP YOU APART AND FEED YOU TO JASDEVI'S CHICKEN! YOU WILL REGRET EVER LAYING A HAND ON MY PRECIOUS, PRECIOUS ALLEN, YOU GODDAMNED COW!"
The clock struck two. The fight was still nowhere near over.
Whew! Next chapter will be the last chapter. It will probably take some time for me to update but don't worry I'll do it somehow. By the way, fun fact, the name of the story, 'Kill Order', is actually a pun on 'kill the Order' and 'the order to kill'. I wonder what you thought it was. Review, follow, and fav. Until next time.