A/N: Thanks to ZeldaRubix for her review!

That was my first attempt at a bit of humour. I'm glad it made you laugh ZR! And yes, I get a HUGE inspiration from Nintendo's selection of BADASS women XD

I can't really believe we're nearing the end of this fanfiction and I may add that I can't believe I have been keeping it going for this long! So here's my big thanks to everyone who has reviewed this and kept me going: alwaysingirl, Rosewing-chan, James Birdsong, mairaloveszexion, Kirkysaurus, Kick-Aft, Fanfiction Ninja, TheoneandonlyKaorin, ZeldaRubix, Ananymous Reviewer and pikachucat. You guys are all truly awesome - I'll be sending out individual PMs to my regular reviewers to celebrate 100 REVIEWS!

Jesus... I'm nuts XD

Before we start, big thanks to TheZeldaDungeon for their Haunted Wasteland walkthrough on YouTube. This helped me out a lot :)

So, Zelda has yet to pass the desert. What will she find on the other side?

Read on!

Chapter 31 - Sand

Zelda cleared the flagpole again with relative ease, but she was still grumbling obscenities to herself.

'Goddessdamn sand, goddessdamn desert, goddessdamn Ganondorf,' she grumbled quietly to herself, not wanting to trigger another lecture from 'Saint Rauru'. Zelda could've sworn that the lecture he gave her recently lasted a good ten minutes. It's like when the tutor she had would tell her off about wasting time - but then contradicting herself by wasting time anyway. In a few ways it reminded Zelda of home. She could imagine her father doing the exact same thing as Rauru, viciously scolding her as best he could and trying to set appropriate standards. It was this thought - this desire to end this journey so she could go back home and back to normal - that spurred Zelda on through the howling wind and irritating sand fog.

The stone vibrated in Zelda's pocket and she took it out.

'Hm?' she hummed impatiently.

Rauru's voice sounded normal again. Maybe his throat was sore.

'Here. Stop here. Go any further and you'll find yourself at the beginning again.'

'Okay, so lead me through it,' Zelda said dismissively.

'Right. From here go forward a little bit.'

'Alright.'

The stone vibrated again after Zelda had walked three steps.

'You see the flagpoles?'

Zelda squinted and spotted the soft outline of a fluttering flag on the top of a long pole.

'Yes.'

'You want to go to that and keep close to it, but only by a metre or so, mind. After that you should see a few more flagpoles ahead of you. Do the same with them as well.'

'Okay then. Tell me when anything changes.'

'Of course.'

The stone sopped shining and Zelda put it back in her pocket. She marched, or rather trudged through the sand again sighing. She passed a lot more flagpoles until a small hunk of bricks came into view.

'What's that?' she asked no-one in particular.

Zelda strode over to it slowly, sand encapsulating her shins uncomfortably. She groaned as she heaved them out of the stuff every few seconds. The sooner she was out of this desert...

She found a slight slope on the side of one of the walls. Following the trail up, she found it gradually got higher and higher until it got cut off by the roof of the structure. Zelda guessed that since all the flagpoles led up to this point and were arranged in a circle around the small building, this was where she had to be.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the stone vibrating in her pocket.

'Okay. At this point, you have to listen exactly to where I direct you, because the direction you have to go is very precise.'

'Well, you've got my attention then,' Zelda said gratefully.

Rauru's voice shone through the stone as he directed Zelda this way and that, making note of sharp turns and twists, navigating Zelda through a seemingly insane path that if seen overhead would look like it was drawn by a toddler, or someone in a mental asylum. Zelda made sure to acknowledge everything Rauru told her, knowing that if she messed up here, she could be sent swearing back to the beginning of this wretched area. Eventually, another flagpole came into view, in the middle of two walls which made a pathway. Zelda sighed and held the stone to her ear again.

'This is it Zelda. Just go straight through that entrance and you'll be on the easy path toward the Spirit Temple.'

'Thank the goddesses,' Zelda said, and shoved the stone back into her pocket.

As soon as she passed the two walls, the wind ceased to exist and the air was nice and soft, nothing compared to the storm she had just been through. She smiled, no, grinned at the revelation, basking in the warm sun and marvelling the sudden change in atmosphere.

This new founded exuberance, however, was quickly cut short as enemies started to form, climbing out of the ground. They looked like plants, with unpleasant spikes on the top for teeth. Zelda grimaced as she recalled what they were. Leevers, nasty little creatures. They tended to strike people who were unaware, waiting for them to get distance on them before exiting the ground and chasing after them with uncharacteristic speed. They were starting to advance on her now, teeth aching for new prey. Zelda flicked out a dagger and got into battle stance.

The Leevers, with no apparent intelligence or sight, kept coming toward her. Zelda quickly bent low and slashed at the nearest one, creating a large dark green gash in its skin. It screeched loudly and returned underground, leaving its companion to fight Zelda.

It again kept coming forward, oblivious to the fate of its friend. Zelda smiled at its naiveté and took out some needles, flinging them at the green thing. They all hit with tremendous accuracy and the monster screeched, returning underground like its fallen comrade. Zelda smiled and wiped the dagger clean of the Leever juice. That was quite an easy fight, but it was a fight nonetheless. That was something current events had been lacking a lot of - fights. Even though Zelda used to abhor fighting, she seemed to miss it. She didn't count the Gerudo, of course. She merely knocked them out and propped them against each other humorously with them not doing anything to retaliate.

Zelda placed the dagger back in her holster. All that remained was to get to the large rock just ahead of her and wait for Link to come and learn the song of the Spirit Temple. She only took five more steps before two more Leevers broke out of the ground and advanced on her. She groaned and dispatched of them. Fights were great, though she didn't want them all the time. Hopefully they wouldn't be as frequent as this later on.

XxX

Ten Leevers later, Zelda made it to the entrance of the temple. She sighed and shoved the Gerudo dagger back into her holster. This was just like the stalchildren she had fought a while back. She remembered that number - twenty-three - the number of them she had killed in one night. That was a good, if annoying night.

Zelda waited for a few minutes before the stone in her pocket vibrated again.

'Yeah?' she inquired of it.

'Sorry for this change, but instead of waiting for Link at the front of the temple, can I have you wait at the top of that rock?'

'Why?'

'Well, the temple has to be traversed in both the past and the present. Link needs to find this out himself, so he'll go into the temple first. After he comes out, he'll know, and then you'll teach him the Requiem of Spirit.'

'Okay.'

Zelda shoved the stone back into her pocket and climbed up the rock. Soon, Link emerged from the desert and ran toward the temple. A few Leevers emerged again, but he easily dispatched of them with a few swings of his sword. He quickly gran into the temple entrance and Zelda waited for him to exit. He did only five minutes later, and Zelda jumped gracefully off the platform, landing perfectly in front of Link.

'Past, present, future...' Zelda began.

'The Master Sword is a ship with which you can sail upstream and downstream through time's river... The port for that ship is the Temple of Time...'

'To restore the Desert Colossus and enter the Spirit Temple, you must travel back through time's flow... Listen to this Requiem of Spirit... This melody will lead a child back to the desert.'

She brought out her harp, and Link brought out his ocarina as was the routine. They played the simple melody beautifully, Link's ocarina complementing Zelda's harp as if the two instruments were designed by the same genius. The sand along the ground danced to the rhythm of the music, melodically shifting and flowing with each note. The song finished, and the sand fell as it had started, laying on the ground in silence. Throughout the song, Zelda could've sworn there was an owl perched on the top of the temple, listening and moving its head to the melody made by the two chosen by the goddesses. And as soon as the song had finished, it flew off, as if content with the song that had just been played for him. Zelda smiled knowingly and focused her gaze back on Link. He was advancing toward her, and the small ball of light that was accompanying him was dancing behind her head, humming with each movement up and down. A stream of sand started to form by her feet, and she knew that this was the action of Rauru.

Link shielded his eyes as the sand around Zelda started to pick up and Zelda threw down a Deku Nut and scrabbled back up the rock where she originally was resting. Link didn't bat an eyelid, and took out his ocarina again. Playing the Prelude of Light, he transformed in a stream of yellow light, which rose up into the air and flew speedily in the direction of the desert. Zelda smiled as she looked after it. Dark clouds started to form in her vision and she lay down.

Seconds later, she was asleep.