When he came round, Shinichi was immediately aware of the fact that she was no longer there with him. There was nothing definite to tell, he just somehow 'knew'.

His next discoveries were the sound of heart monitor ringing evenly, monotonously, the warm feeling of sunlight from the nearby window, the welcoming sensation of new bed sheets, the sound of faint footsteps resonating from the other side, and the familiar smell of iodoform. Shinichi let out a breath. It would seem like he was out of the abandoned warehouse and transferred to the hospital.

-Shinichi searched his memory. He leaned back against the large bed, contemplating. He was sure Kusarina was still there when he collapsed. He considered the possibility in which she had returned to her dominant body.

Weirdly enough, Shinichi wasn't exactly worried. The current Kusarina knew how to take care of herself.

Just as he settled down with his thoughts, the door slid open to reveal Inspector Megure. The older man in his usual brown coat removed his hat with a sigh of relief, probably upon seeing that Shinichi was well.

"Good morning, Kudo-kun. It's nice to see that you are fine but please, next time, spare this old man a heart attack and inform us properly before diving into danger" Megure gave the younger a defeated smile. Shinichi nodded mutely "I'll keep that in mind from now on" He replied politely.

The detective looked down at his hand. He did leave them with a notice but as expected, it was reckless to just jump right into her trap like that. Shinichi silently reflected on his behavior and reminded himself to be cautious in his actions. When he looked up, Shinichi noticed Megure staring at him with renewed surprise. Something told him he couldn't have behaved that civilly if he were who he was before that day at Tropical Land. Even so, he felt the need to clear his throat at that,

"Um, what happened to Togatta Masarina?"

"We've taken her in custody, of course. She spilled everything quite easily, too. The forensics is working on the DNA of the body parts found…"

Shinichi once again nodded. Everything was finally resolved, well, at least on the surface.

"Also, Kuroba-kun is here" Inspector Megure said as Shinichi visibly stiffened. He provided no response whatsoever to that information. Eventually, after a pregnant silence, the young detective finally lifted his head up to face Megure.

"So he knows"

"He was very worried about you, Kudo-kun. He'd been dialing us all night last night"

Shinichi could literally feel the guilt overflowing through his senses. He'd promised himself not to worry the magician, send him off with a smile and then this happened. The detective bit his lower lip, frustrated. Drowning in the feeling of dread, the detective closed his eyes for a moment to let the problem sink in.

"I see that the rumor going around has its truth" The older man started, having already seated down.

"Rumor? What rumor?" The detective blinked, having no good feelings about what was to come. The man hesitated for a moment before he finally said,

"About you and Kuroba-kun" Shinichi suspected he didn't want to hear the rest of that. Fortunately, Megure didn't intend to elaborate any further. Shinichi knew that there was bound to be gossips here and there as such things were inevitable among co-workers. Still,

"Everyone already knows, Shinichi. There's no reason distance yourself from Kaito. Especially if you're so sure he won't actually catch on to your intention" The words she left somewhere in their shared days dawned upon him, framing his earlier surprised expression with something among the lines of distress. Kusarina had been right. Shinichi mildly wondered if the officers' careful behavior around him lately was because of this predicament. It wasn't wrong to deduce so. The fact that Kaito was dating Aoko wasn't any news among the people in the Homicide Department, after all.

Now that he had a hunch that everyone that he worked with was taking pity on him, Shinichi began to feel tired in a wholly different way.

"There's really nothing wrong with that" The inspector made himself clear, perhaps worried that the younger might interpret his words as otherwise. "It's just…"

Megure breathed out a sigh. The sudden pause in his speech caught Shinichi's attention.

"You know, this isn't about how you're in love, Kudo-kun. Falling in love is a perfectly normal thing. This isn't about how you've been making a troubled face either. It goes with the profession and I understand that you have a lot on your table."

Shinichi noticed the usual furrow between his eyebrows was gone; the tone he usually used at work had also softened. The inspector was speaking to him on equal stands.

"It struck me how I hadn't cared enough to have a word with you after that 2 years gap when you completely disappeared. You definitely changed after that. And to be honest, I regret it." Megure wore a rueful smile; one that made Shinichi clam up, unable to find the words to answer.

He knew exactly what effects those two years had on him. The people around him hadn't exactly been subtle about it, Sonoko being one of the most apparent examples (though he got that she was mocking him on account of him previously being a jerk to Ran).

"Of course, changes aren't always bad. In a way, you've matured, Kudo-kun. That alone is expected, all things considered. Your core is still the same. What defines the Kudo Shinichi that we know is always there. You're still in an unhealthy relationship with mystery as Shiratori-kun usually says. You're as responsible as you always were with people's lives. Your view of justice hasn't gone off-track either, whatever Inspector Nakamori has to say."

Shinichi appreciated the trust Megure had for him. He had half-expected to be doubted ever since Nakamori accused him of letting KID go (it was a mistake on his part).

"I just wish you were a little more open with your worries like before."

Shinichi didn't think it was possible for him to return to who he was before the Black Organization anymore. Years of secrets, lies and living in hiding had their fair share of side-effects.

"I'm sorry" he only managed to apologize

"There's no need, really. You're entitled to your decision of whether or not to talk about your personal issues," the inspector began, "It's just, Yusaku-kun asked me to look after you-

Shinichi knew about that. His father was the type to never voice his worries but he was definitely hesitant in leaving Shinichi to fend for himself.

"… Actually, Yusaku-kun has nothing to do with this," Megure clarified "You know… you've been working alongside with us for 3 years now, helping out whenever we needed. Everyone already considers you a full-fledged member of the Homicide Department; and that is why we care, that is why we can't stop worrying when you started drowning yourself in paperwork. And then suddenly, you were up and decided to bury yourself in this serial killer case. Satou-kun told me that there were days when you didn't even leave that meeting room. Again, we were troubled. Yet, we were hesitant to tell you about such, because, practically speaking, it was your choice and we had no right to interfere," Megure sighed at that as he went on, "Your dedication to this work is admirable. Even until now, that has been the one thing that never changes. Lately, however, you seem to be functioning only with the motivation to forget and escape reality instead of anything else"

There it was. The words he didn't want to hear most.

"Shinichi…"

It was the first time Inspector Megure had called him by his given name.

"Please take notice already, would you? You don't have to shoulder everything by yourself," If it's something you're unable to get over, talk it out, and get it off your chest even just a little. It's okay to burden us with your trouble."

Shinichi pondered those words, looking down at his hand, not knowing what to say. He had been so used to putting up a front that he couldn't bring himself to bother anyone with his issues.

"I know that it's not easy for you, seeing how you're thinking so hard on it," Megure finally broke the silence with a light-hearted laugh, "But it's alright to take it slow. I just want you to talk to someone, especially Kuroba-kun. I have an inkling that you owe him an explanation"

That, he did, though not without earning a handful of scolding from the magician. The last time he was shipped to the hospital unconscious, they had had a pretty bad fight, after all.

"Well, I have to go now. The press is getting overboard again. Someone sneaked in and stole the case file" Megure sighed out, distressed, after reading a text on his phone, "They are getting more and more shameless these days".

Shinichi offered the inspector a sympathetic smile, watching him put on his signature hat, which he didn't notice had been taken off somewhere during their small chat.

Megure was at the door when Shinichi called out with a stutter,

"Um…" He uttered, hanging his head low, "Thank you for the advice, Inspector"

The man chuckled at him, "Don't mention it. I'll go call Kuroba-kun. Is that okay with you?"

"Yes. I owe him an apology, after all…"

Megure left with a nod, relieved that he was finally able to get through to the young detective, leaving Shinichi with his own thoughts.

Shinichi exhaled. Kaito could walk in at any given moment and Shinichi couldn't for the life of him decide where to start and, fleetingly, what to conceal.

Kaito deserves to know, he argued with himself, leaning back against the pillow.

…Does he? Does he really need to know that I'm in love with him? Do I need him to know?

Shinichi turned the questions over in his head, staring at the empty ceiling as if it'd give him an answer.

…I don't know. Isn't he going to be disgusted? Can we even go back to normal after that?

The detective groaned, closing his eyes, "If I can't really get over this crush, I need to tell him and get on with my life…" Aloud, he exclaimed, frustrated.

…But I don't want us to drift apart. I want to hear his voice. I want to see him laugh. I want him to be comfortable around me.

"As I thought, I really can't do it" Absent-mindedly, Shinichi stared at the empty space next to his bed, talking to himself.

Kaito deserves to know. I need to tell him how I was so stupid for worrying him. I need to tell him I would miss him, and that I wouldn't mind a surprise visit or a late night call, that I would miss his small magic tricks here and there, as well as his heist.

…And that I would never find anyone else who knew me like he did.

Shinichi smiled to himself, once again glancing at the space beside him,

"Sorry, Rina, I think I'll take those three forbidden words to my grave"

I'm so sorry, like I promised there would be KaiShin's interaction but the chapter went longer than I had anticipated so I decided to cut it in half. The second half is already in progress. But I think it'll take at least 3 months to give you the next installment since I've been burying my head in my study lately. I've got to take the University Entrance Exam in mid-June and I need to get in no matter what (wish me luck) so I can't get back to this right away. A big sorry for anyone who's still waiting patiently. And, also, thank you very much for the encouraging comments you've left me. I really appreciate it. I would've thought there would be more criticism since my writing is very... uselessly descriptive? lengthy? (I'm working on improving that). Well, as always,

I hope you had fun reading !