Thanks for the review! I was so happy to get it. I hope you all like this chapter, though it is a little angsty.

Coincidence

Chapter Four: Rice Ripped Emotions

As school started back on Monday, Koushiro found himself more in depth with a project he set aside a while back. It was simply a theory about the Digital World, only a few notes, but he really fell into it as he tried to block out the anger, betrayal, and worry he felt for Taichi. All weekend long he worked on it, constantly before his desktop and laptop at his desk, only taking breaks to eat or shower.

By the time he had to go to school that morning, he wasn't all that interested in whatever Taichi was hung up about. As a matter of fact, he didn't even stop to wait for him like he hesitantly done all of last week. His mind was on his project, and that was that.

He walked to school with his lunch in hand; he hadn't noticed his mother's words as he left without much of a glance at her. He was back to being his robotic self…like he used to be. It was sort of nostalgic and easy to do like riding a bike after years of never touching one. His brain had a dial, and though it leaned to and fro mostly, when it was turned to geek mode, it was difficult to turn off.

His mind wasn't with his classes, not that he felt that he needed to pay too much attention. He was caught up with his studies, and the subjects weren't really difficult at all. He spent most of his class time, staring off into space, thinking about his calculations. Luckily he wasn't called on by any of their teachers, so the hours went by rather smoothly. At lunch, he sat in the computer lab and ignored his food while he scribbled notes on about six pages of blank paper.

When it was time to go home, he felt that the day was both too long and sort of brief. He had to admit that he wasn't in tune with any of the world that day, and he couldn't recall anyone talking to him. He sort of wondered if maybe they had only to be ignored by him. He couldn't help but to worry about Taichi, too. He did recall seeing the boy in classes, but he didn't focus on him like he had the week before. It was nice to keep his mind occupied, and he felt that it was best.

Kae smiled as her son walked into their home. She had a snack of chocolate-covered onigiri on a plate. She hurried to his bedroom door to cut him off before he could escape like that morning. "Sweetheart, I made these myself today. I know the last time I tried it, they didn't come out too perfect. Want to try one?" she started with a smile.

Koushiro almost stumbled into her as he was still thinking about his project. He looked at her and hummed, "s-sorry… What did you say?"

Her heart sank, but her smile remained, "do you want one?"

His eyes lowered as he looked to the plate of chocolate treats. The color…was too close to something… That pretty brown color that always gave him such warmth… A flash of Taichi's face popped into his mind…his eyes… Koushiro frowned and opened his door, "no thank you. I will later; I promise."

Kae gaped worriedly as her son walked into his room and shut the door gently behind him. All weekend, she noticed how withdrawn he was, and she wondered if he really had a fallout with Taichi. She knew that had to be the reason, but she had to keep her distance and not hover so much. She decided to accept that he needed time alone and walked back to the kitchen.

Koushiro set his backpack down before sitting at his desk. His desktop screen was black… His dark eyes dragged to the window, where the afternoon sunset filled his space with gloominess. He looked back at his computer screen and sighed. Just seeing chocolate made him depressed…why?

A low vibration erupted from his pocket, and he frowned even more. He had no idea who it could be, but he didn't want it to be Taichi. He almost didn't want to look, but his heart had the phone open in a matter of seconds in hopes that it was Taichi. But it wasn't.

It was a text from Mimi, "hey, I wasn't at school today. L I wanted to know what happened after you and Tai left the party. Why won't you text back?"

He blinked, closing the message to find about six other messages with dates that ranged from Saturday night to just now. He hadn't heard them, and it didn't shock him. He took a deep breath and texted her back, "Nothing happened."

She was quick to respond, "Did he get busted by his parents?"

He frowned, "I don't know. Ask him."

She, as always, didn't care to play games, "I'm just asking cause you were SOOOO worried about him when he was falling over his own feet. I wanted to see if you handled drunk Tai. Not an easy task, dummy."

He rolled his eyes, "he spent the night with me then left before I woke."

I minute passed before she texted back, "What a jerk! No flowers by the bedside? LOL jk jk jk! :D"

His entire face burned when he read that.

She sent another, "in movies, you gotta offer to make breakfast the next morning to make him stay!"

His heart pounded. No no no no… He didn't understand why he was getting so hot and bothered over her teasing. He set the phone on his desk and bolted up to shuck his coat he forgot he even had on. It was extremely warm, and he could feel sweat forming.

The phone buzzed again, "sorry, Izzy! You know I'm just playing with you. Not for real, just for play!"

But it somehow meant more than that. He didn't want to face it. But what exactly?

His tie was now on the floor. His school shirt unbuttoned with nothing but his white undershirt showing the sweat collecting. His fingers shook as he tried not to think about any of it…

He was so obsessed about why Taichi ignored him…

Jealously…anger…all of the hurt…

Worrying about the idiot when he was too drunk to stand…

Crying and wishing that he would talk to him again…

Having to revert back to his former locked personality just to keep from thinking about him…

The chocolate reminding him of those beautiful brown eyes…

He found himself standing in the middle of his room, just behind his desk chair. But suddenly he caught something out of the corner of his eye. His closet was opened, and a familiar garment hang there by his clothes. He hesitantly stepped up to it and touched the heavy navy fabric, realizing that it was Taichi's coat. He thought back to barely recalling his mother saying something about washing it for the teenager, because it seemed to smell funny. Koushiro yanked it from the hanger and held it like some kind of unknown artifact, but he knew it very well. Taichi receive this particular coat last winter from his mother.

Minutes passed before Koushiro hugged the garment to his chest, thinking how it caressed his friend's torso daily. He recalled holding onto Taichi's arm while he walked him home the night of the party. He remember so clearly how it felt to have the athletic teen's bicep on his arms; he could still feel his sturdy arm through the fabric, and it made him feel so…strange.

Slowly he buried his face into the coat and took a big whiff, but since his mother washed it, it didn't smell like Taichi anymore. That saddened him. He wanted to cry, because the item belonging to Taichi had no essence of him—no warmth, no scent, no happiness. And now he was even more distraught, because he thought of how he might never get to hold onto Taichi's arm ever again. He ended their last conversation on such bad terms. And did Taichi hate him so much that he wouldn't even come for his coat?

Koushiro wondered if Taichi would ever forgive him. What could he do to get him back? He just wanted to see him again, talk with him like usual. If he could just go back to the way things were, he knew that he could be happy again. He wanted no one else to fill that position—no one.

Stopping his thoughts for just a moment, he felt the weight of them. He lowered the coat from his face and shuddered as he finally came to terms with why he felt so strongly about their friendship's possible end. This ran deeper, and he, who had very little notice of feelings, understood all of a sudden…

His wide eyes filled with moisture as he finally realized why Taichi didn't want to be friends. "I love him," he accidentally mumbled to himself. That was the reason—Taichi realized that Koushiro was in love with him and didn't want that kind of relationship. It made sense; Taichi was better at noticing emotions and feelings than Koushiro.

And it was true…

Koushiro's heart always beat so fast around his friend, and in his company, he truly felt content. He never had to worry about being someone sociable, because Taichi was always there. He always included him; he was a true friend. He was everything Koushiro wasn't—strong, athletic, brave, heroic, and confident. He was handsome and cocky; he cared more about others than himself. He was a compassionate, upstanding person, and Koushiro knew that he was lucky to be his friend. Koushiro wanted to be as close as he possibly could to Taichi, to help him and perhaps create happiness for him, too. He wanted Taichi to enjoy life, to be content. He loved him.

He loved him so much...

"What did I do?" he murmured sadly, bringing his fingers to his chest, feeling his heart beating fast. He couldn't breathe. Dropping to his knees, he covered his face with the coat again and dealt with it as silently as he could.

He was sick…

Meanwhile at the Yagami residence, Hikari handed off yet another yaoi manga to her brother, who had read more than five of them since the weekend. "Look, Tai. This one belongs to my friend, and you better give it back right after you read it," Hikari told him sternly as she stood at their beds, looking up at him as he sat in his top bunk.

He swiped it from her and answered with a grumble, "yeah yeah."

She placed her hands onto her hips, "now, you know I really don't like to pry when you get in a mood, but you still haven't told me what you really want with these. I mean, you don't look very happy reading them, but you keep wanting more."

"I can't read? Isn't that what adults have preached to us our entire lives? Read more?" he huffed as he leaned back on his pillow and opened the book.

She sighed, "come on, Tai. I'm really curious now. I never in a million years thought you would want to read homosexual romances."

"Why?!" he snapped, sitting up with an angered expression.

She was a little surprised at how defensive he was. She knew that their mother would be back from grocery shopping any minute, so she had to pull what she could out of him in a hurry. "I would just like to know, okay? Why are you reading my shonen ai like you got a book report on it or something?"

He frowned, "I just thought I would share some of your interests. Can I not do that?"

"Oh whatever," she huffed, getting frustrated.

He quickly hopped from their beds and slipped his phone into his pocket, "stop making a big deal-"

"Tai!" she snapped angrily. "You've been acting strange for the past week, and just when you're about to tell me what's wrong, you suddenly want to read slash. What is the issue?"

He huffed, "leave me alone! Stop being a brat."

She gasped, "I can't help if you're moody!"

He left their room, not looking back. He didn't want to tell her; he was afraid to admit it aloud. Why did he have to have such feelings? Wasn't his life hard enough with saving the Digital World? He threw on his very old coat and shoes at the door before walking out into the blistering cold. He needed to clear his mind before talking to her again; he didn't want to be mean anymore…

He tried to think about anything else, maybe how cold it was, what Agumon might be doing, or even the really important exam that was tomorrow. But nothing could deter his mind from mahogany-red hair and dark eyes. His feet carried him to that apartment building, but he didn't go further than the sidewalk. If he could just hear Koushiro's voice, maybe see his smile…he might could feel better.

He noticed that he still held the yaoi manga in his right hand, but he ignored it for a moment while he pulled out his phone and opened his messages, to skip through old ones from the weeks before. It was so simple before he knew he was in love. He walked on with his phone in hand, scrolling through old messages, remembering…

He found an old one from Koushiro, "I don't think you should start running routinely in such cold weather. Your lungs might hurt too much afterwards."

Taichi felt like crying as he relished in the fact that Koushiro cared about him. He found a conversation between them from about two weeks ago.

He wrote, "I can't sleep. What if I flunk the Trig exam?"

Koushiro wrote, "my suspicions were correct. You haven't been doing too well with the material so far."

Taichi wrote, "would you do anything for me?"

Koushiro wrote, "of course I would." (That made his heart flutter.)

Taichi wrote, "since I sit behind you, will you lean to one side during the exam?"

Koushiro wrote, "because you worded it like that… I guess I could get a little sleepy and lean onto my left hand the entire time."

A rogue snowflake fell onto his phone screen, and Taichi found himself welling with emotion again. He really did lean to the left the whole exam just for Taichi to cheat. As adamant of Koushiro was about Taichi studying, he really did know that he was struggling so much and needed a good grade. He recalled Koushiro complaining about how he couldn't believe he actually enabled cheating and could have been caught. But he did it for him…

Taichi knew that these feelings for his friend wouldn't go away easily.

He sat at a bus bench for a long time with the manga, maybe more than an hour. He never intended to board the bus, and a few people would give him looks when he never got up for the long vehicle when it arrived, but he didn't care. He was too cold to keep walking, and he didn't want to go home yet.

Every yaoi manga his sister gave him, he felt both intrigued and sick to his stomach. He didn't know what to think of it. On one hand, she was right about the stories being cute. There wasn't any sex in her copies, just kissing or maybe some making out. It was mostly like any heterosexual manga where two people loved each other. He read most of them, thinking if he could possibly be like that with Koushiro…if he would be turned down or accepted… It was easier to think that Koushiro would agree to be his boyfriend when he read the stories about a cute boy being swayed by another boy; he always imagined Koushiro as the one who needed to be swayed.

But this one that belonged to her friend was different. Taichi noticed right away that the art wasn't very cutesy like the ones Hikari was into. The two characters were grown men and very stubborn about being lovey-dovey. At the midway point in the manga, the dominant man pinned the other to the floor and began to kiss him and do dirty things to him. The pinned man whimpered but didn't protest. Taichi knew that his face caught fire when he saw the top male slip his hands into the other's pants. His heart beat extremely fast as he turned the page to see the bottom man throwing his head back in pleasure, and for a second he saw Koushiro. This book was making it so difficult to say no to such an idea. His hormones were rage-filled already; this kind of plot was getting him too worked up, especially thinking about his friend.

"Taichi," a male voice started before him.

The teenager looked up suddenly to see Misami—Koushiro's father. He stiffened, knowing his face was probably still flushed. He hesitantly opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He quickly shut the boot and slammed it to his lap, putting his shivering hands over it to hide the cover.

Misami was in a thick coat with a briefcase in hand. His glasses were settled on his face, but snowflakes were dotted on the lenses. He stared down at the boy with a solemn look, "are you alright? You look…bothered."

Taichi frowned, "y-yes. I'm fine…"

Misami knew that he was lying just by the look on his face. He carefully sat down next to him and sighed, "well, I have a question."

Taichi could feel the sickness stir in his stomach; he was about to get a lecture...or be blamed… It was always the same when adults started in that calm tone.

"Koushiro has been…withdrawn for over a week now," the man told him. "His mother is worrying her head off, but I keep telling her that it's probably nothing. So why don't you ease her mind and tell me what you know?"

Taichi stared at him blankly; he was shocked that the man was so blatant about it. He hesitantly answered, "I'm not sure…"

"You two are friends," Misami pointed out, "so has he said anything?"

He wanted to hurl. "No, but…I mean…I just don't know. I haven't talked to him in a few days." Flashes of Koushiro yelling at him came to mind. It hurt.

"Did you two have an argument?" he asked.

"Sort of, but I didn't think he was…" he trailed off as he knew he was about to lie. Koushiro obviously took offense and was deeply hurt about it all.

"I see," Misami sighed as he stood again, knowing that he wasn't going to get more than that. "Sorry for bothering you, Tai. I just wanted to make sure nothing was seriously wrong. You know?" He then smiled half-heartedly, "It's strange, but after his entire childhood of his constant shutting people out, we freak out over his little bursts of seclusion."

Taichi frowned more, "yeah, I understand." He waited to pull his phone out after the man bid him farewell and walked away. He gripped the cold plastic in his bare hands and fought over the decision to send a text to Koushiro. He wanted to know it wasn't because of him, but he knew it was. He also wanted to know that he was alright, but he knew he wasn't. After much debate, he slipped his phone back into his pocket and frowned sadly at the book in his lap. He felt disgusting.

Misami walked to his home, where his wife greeted him with a smile. He could tell she was putting on a strong front, and he wished he would have brought her a small gift to cheer her up. He smiled back at her and kissed her gently after removing his shoes. "The weather is going to get rough soon, so the entire office got to leave early," he told her.

Kae took his coat and briefcase, "well, I'm glad for that. I would have worried about you too much."

He glanced at Koushiro's door and then back at his wife, who shrugged sadly. He lifted his voice a bit, "I just saw Tai at the bus stop."

Kae blinked and smiled at his obvious try to let their son hear him, "oh really?"

"He looked down on his luck, like he needed a friend," Misami said in a clear tone.

They both waited for a moment, but not even a stir happened inside the room. Kae frowned, "maybe he's taking a nap. He looked a little worn when he got home."

Misami sighed, "yeah, maybe he's just tired from being at school all day. I know I am from just sitting in a cubical."

But Koushiro wasn't sleeping. He was lying on his bed, his back facing the wall and his eyes on his desktop. His dark eyes finally dried, but he felt empty. He felt numb because of the realization he made about himself. It was even more agonizing that the feeling he had when Taichi ignored him.

Life was unfair in their world… It was confusing and cruel. He wanted to disappear, and before he could agonize over that, he came up with a plan to do exactly that—disappear.

He only had about an hour until dinner was ready, and he wanted to look sane and well-adjusted for his parents. He got up from his bed, straightened his clothes and did his best to wipe his face clean of any dried tears. He gathered up all of his notes and began packing his backpack with an extra set of clothes, his laptop, and other things he might need.

By the time he was presentable, he heard his mother knock on his door and softly say dinner was ready. He took a deep breath and smiled as he walked out of his room and into the dining room, where his father sat at the table, waiting for him.

Kae sat a steaming bowl of rice on the table and smiled at him, "you look refreshed, Izzy."

"I do feel better," Koushiro said as he walked up to the table. "Mom, Dad, I want to apologize if my behavior was a bit worrisome for you."

Kae only grinned, "not at all, dear. We all get in those ruts."

"Exactly," Misami agreed as his wife sat down.

Koushiro sat down in his chair, "Well, you see it wasn't exactly a rut. I have been lost in quite a lot of thought. I realize that I might have troubled you with my quietness, but I have been working on a very important theory."

"A theory, great," Misami smiled, knowing that he was going to have to once again pretend to know what his son was talking about.

Koushiro smiled back at them, "So, Mom, Dad, this is my letting you know that I will be going to the Digital World in just under an hour."

Kae gasped instantly and bolted from her chair, "what?! Is there another monster threatening us?"

Misami didn't have her initial reaction but after hearing what she feared, he showed a great amount of anxiety, too. "Is it here, son?!"

Koushiro answered simply, "there is no danger at all." He felt a tinge of guilt when they kept their doubtful worried faces aimed at him. "I wouldn't lie to you about something like that. I just want to start spending my weekend time there, study it, access more of the secrets embedded there. I've pretty much tapped out all I can do on this end. Besides, I would like to be in the company of Tentomon once more."

Kae instantly smiled as she heard the name of the digimon her son brought home a few times, "oh, Tento! Yes, you know he can always come back with you, too! I'll cook his favorite dishes."

Misami brushed his wife's excitement aside, "Izzy, are you entirely sure you're going to be okay there? I know you spent a lot of time in that world, but we just worry about you."

"He's right," Kae agreed. "Are all of you kids going?"

Koushiro sort of felt annoyed being called a kid, but he didn't say a cross word as he usually forced back. "I'll invite some of the others at times, but this evening I'm going alone. I want no distractions." He hoped that his parents would trust his judgment.

"What about school tomorrow?" Kae asked as she slowly took her seat again.

"I would like to take a day off from school with your approval of course," Koushiro answered. "I just want a day to get a little work space set up. I'm sure you both have been aware that I have been a little sidetracked the past week; I think if I could just have the freedom I need to be with Tentomon and study the Digital World, I would be able to concentrate more here."

Misami sighed heavily, "well…just promise to take care of yourself, and I don't want you missing too much school."

Koushiro nodded, "I will always be back home on Sunday evenings; don't worry about that. Taking tomorrow is a one-time skip day for me. I wouldn't want to spend my free time making up homework and exams."

Kae smiled again hopefully, "do you want me to wrap some snacks for you and Tento?"

The boy hesitated, knowing that his mother was only trying to be helpful, but he didn't want to see the chocolate-covered onigiri again. "If you want, Mom," he answered as he knew he couldn't deny her.

"Of course!" Kae giggled.

Misami spoke to his son again, "Izzy?"

Koushiro noted the very gentle, fatherly tone, "yes?"

"I hope that seeing your friend again cheers you up. Promise that you'll be careful?"

Koushiro thought he hid his poor disposition moderately well over the past week, but he was sadly mistaken. He hated to make his parents worry at all. "I'm fine, Dad. I have been really moody, but I'm okay. I promise."

Misami smiled before asking something else, "is there anything you need? We could go to the store after dinner."

Koushiro sort of felt like a child at that moment, but he didn't let it show. He just wanted to be an adult about this, and his parents were scrambling to please him and send him on his way. It almost made him feel like they trusted him too much, but why complain about that? He was still so confused with himself, and this wasn't helping. He hesitated, "no thanks, Dad. I have everything I need."

Kae piped up, "well, eat lots now, dear. I don't want you to get there and be hungry."

Koushiro nodded as he took a sip of his water next to his plate. He wasn't really hungry at all, but he forced himself to eat as much as he could. He didn't want to add to their worry. They were being so strong and brave for him after all.

So Koushiro is off to the Digital World. And he realizes that he loves Taichi.

I will update right after finals.

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