Disclaimer: Never mine. Always hers. (sigh)
The "Staff Mixer" was a night that went down in Hogwarts staff history. Most of the attendees drank a little too much, however, so the exact details could never be recounted. The results were indelibly printed on several marriage certificates, despite the haziness of the evening. Pomona Sprout ended up marrying a friend of Slughorn's who worked as a field agent for the Magical Flora division of the Ministry, Fillius Flitwick married Aurora Sinistra's older sister, while Sinistra herself married Markus McCorman, the Muggle studies teacher. Professor Slughorn was competing with Fortinbras for the most outrageous flirt award as he spent most of the evening in the vicinity of one of Professor Kettleburn's friends from the Daily Prophet. Not to be outdone, "Alex" spent almost the entire evening talking with, about, or praising, Minerva. He would parade her in front of all the other female party goers, introducing her as his "lovely, charming date." He studiously avoided the male members of the party, and jealously steered her away from the predominately male crowds. Minerva was entirely discomfited by his unwarranted jealousy, and nearly collapsed in relief when he announced he would locate a suitable drinks and hors d'oeuvres for the two of them.
This was the opportunity Poppy had been waiting for. She and Alastor had attended the party merely out of social interest, waiting to see what couples surfaced out of artificial melee. As soon as Alex detached from his date, Poppy rushed to Minerva's aide.
"Oh, Minerva!" Poppy sighed, "I've been listening to him the whole evening! The man has a silver-tongue! It's a wonder you haven't succumbed by now! He's so handsome and devilish and… dark!" she breathed. Noticing the glare she was getting from her friend, she backpedaled, "I mean, what a dreadful plight! How are we ever going to get him off of you? It must be such a trial to have such a passionate man so zealously pursuing you!"
"Poppy! Do you think I'm enjoying this?" Minerva seared in a contained burst, "Every time I look in Albus's direction I see the wounded look in his eyes. It pains him to see another man calling me his. I just want the night to be over!" She practically wailed, "As for his flattery, it's a bit overbearing! My head is beginning to swell from such merit less jealousy and praise!"
"It's not merit less, darling," Poppy murmured exasperatedly, "Fortinbras has good reasons to keep you away from other men. Or were you completely blind to the envious looks the men have been casting at his back? You're no plain face, Minerva. Your beauty is, quite truly, dangerous."
"I just hope Alex doesn't try to get me alone. That could lead to awkwardly unexplainable situations! Albus would be terribly put out!" Minerva fretted.
"Well, you'd better start figuring out a clever escape, because dear old Alex is coming back, and he's got a look of terrible purpose in his eyes." Poppy smiled as she stepped up to chat with Alex, hoping to delay Minerva's seemingly inevitable fate.
On the other side of the room, Albus Dumbledore was inwardly distraught. He tried to converse with Professor Vector's brother-in-law about the virtues of the Muggle calculator, but every word in his thoughts formed either an apology to Minerva or reproach to himself. How could I have left her defenseless? Why didn't I stand up for myself? Was there any space between the two of them when they danced? How could Minerva breathe when his arm was around her waist so tightly? Of course, it never occurred to Albus that, on occasion, his arm had been pressed much more tightly around Minerva's waist. The only thought on his mind was how to steal her away for just one dance. He barely even noticed when Professor Vector's brother-in-law departed to pursue a young lady who had recently opened a robes shop in Diagon Alley.
What he did notice was when Alastor Moody pulled him away from his wife and forced him to occupy a chair, "Albus, I can't stand it anymore! Either you tell that woman you love her and ask her to marry you, or you let someone else have a chance!" Alastor burst in his usual blunt manner.
"Tell who… What???" Albus just then turned away from Minerva to look Moody squarely in the face, "Who are you talking about?"
"Oh, don't give me that, Albus Dumbledore! Your eyes have been frozen on McGonagall since she sashayed in on Fortinbras's arm," Moody explained impatiently, "It's terribly obvious to everyone but yourselves! Now, do you love her?" Moody said this last part quietly, leaning in conspiratorially.
"Love her? Alastor, she's far too young for me!" Albus protested, "But I do love her." He admitted, his eyes involuntarily shifting back to the dance floor, where his wife was unwillingly cheek to cheek with her sole partner for the evening.
"Good! Now that you've got that out, you just need to figure out a plan to sneak her away from the Fortinbras fellow," Alastor grinned, clapping Dumbledore on the shoulder, "Personally, I don't think he's to be trusted. His eyes are sort of shifty. Did you see that scar under his ear? That man's been places and caused trouble! Definitely not the right place for a lady like Minerva!"
"His record was rather sparse, but he was the only applicant. Rumor is beginning to circulate that we have a coursed Defense Against the Dark Arts position. But I have to say, Professor Fortinbras does give one the impression of having experienced the thick of battle. But I'm sure Minvera can take care of herself. She was an auror after all!" Albus nodded resignedly.
"I'm not talking about Minerva! I'm talking about you, Albus Dumbledore, taking care of yourself! Get yourself a wife, man! It's the law, for Merlin's sake! Now, the music's ending, get up there and ask for the next dance!" and before Albus could quite collect himself, Moody propelled him from the chair and towards the jealous glare of Alex Fortinbras.
Minerva turned her head to catch a glimpse of the object of her partner's displeasure and immediately had to fight the urge to fall into Albus's arms. Instead, she graciously, if somewhat stiffly (Alex Fortinbras had been holding her decidedly too tight), accepted his offer to dance. Any protests on the part of her date were silenced with Albus's benign, "Headmaster's privilege, you know!"
And the music began. It was a sweeping waltz, boisterous enough to cover Minerva's urging, pleading whispers. "Albus, why are you doing this? Do you realize how impossible it is for me to keep up a guise now?"
"Alastor Moody shoved me over here before I could react! But it's not so terrible, Tab-" He stopped as he felt Minerva unconsciously tense in his arms. He knew it would be awkward for his wife to dance with him in public, still pretending they were merely old friends. They usually avoided such activities in parties.
But to be here, now, in his arms, was almost the boiling point for Minerva McGonagall. She had been subjected to the ludicrous overtures of a decidedly good looking, silver tongued man. She had been held tight to his side for the past two hours. She had heard nothing but the sound of his sweeping, insipidly heroic locutions for well past that. And at this point, the familiar comfort of her husband's arms touching her in such a stiff, aberrant way was too much. Minerva was about to crack.
Just as she was about to seek a different partner for the remainder of the song, the music stopped; Albus, with a look of resigned dignity, bowed to her and glided out of the party. Only his wife saw his deeper, hidden expression of sorrow and regret.
Suddenly aware of a familiarly oppressive stare at her back, Minerva twisted on her heel to face Alex Fortinbras. His ire had evaporated; and at the sight of the roses which had blossomed in Minerva's cheeks, from emotions of which he was totally oblivious, he smiled once again. The party rambled on.
Finally, two hours later, Minerva, in the slightest of alcoholic hazes, decided to inform Alex of her need to retire. Professor Fortinbras, on the other hand, was amazingly drunk, so this was going to be quite a chore. Together, they tripped out of the dungeon rooms toward Minerva's door, Alex stopping to hiccup every few minutes.
When they reached the door to Minerva's room, Minerva muttered the unlocking charm, and was about to let the door swing open, when she noticed a hand leaning against the door just above her right shoulder.
Minerva McGonagall was slightly taller than the average witch. It only came as more of a shock, when she spiraled around, to look up into Professor Fortinbras's gleaming eyes. He had effectively pinned her to the door, and any move to open the door would cause "Alex" to fall on her, another uncomfortably position. The professor was inebriated to the point of giddiness. Minerva could tell, from his casual, yet predatory stance, that this was not just an innocuous attempt to steady himself.
"Mind if I come in?" She recoiled from the hideous smell of his alcohol drenched breath. Unfortunately, this allowed the door to swing open, and Fortinbras clumsily capered in, dragging Minerva with him.
Where's Albus when you need him? She thought desperately. Occasionally, there were moments she could swear Albus had been using his Legilimency to read her mind, especially when she was under duress, but he was well out of reach now. Oh, Albus! Curse you, and the Minister and Slughorn and Volde- You-Know-Who and…Good Lord!
Professor Fortinbras had craftily (for a drunk man anyway) whipped Minerva around into his embrace, effectively cutting off any escape. His lips were extended in hopes of picking a kiss. Minerva gagged at the reek of his breath. Just before his lips where brushing hers, Minerva twisted sideways, managing to gasp out, "Alex, I don't think I'm quite ready for this… everything's happening so fast, and…"
Almost as if her words had been a charm, Fortinbras released her and stepped back, arms dropping, quite soberly, to his side. "You're right, Minvera, this is ludicrous." There was a hint of a drunken whine, as sort of slur to his words. "What right has the bloody Ministry to force people together anyway? Why should anybody have the right to tell me," his arm swung up, one of his crooked, muscled fingers bouncing off his equally muscular chest, "that I have to get married? Who gives them the right to put me through this kind of pain? There's a reason I've always avoided the "fairer sex", you know…" he turned to sneer at a bewildered Minerva, who, out of exhaustion and shock, and sunk unto a nearby chair. "'Oh, yes, Professor Fortinbras, he's such a charmer!' That's what you say, isn't it you flock of gossiping birds!! Just let me show you the scars I earned for the woman I loved, that's real charm for you! I'll tell you how…"
Albus's impeccable timing kicked in once again. He bounded through the door, wand at the ready. A look of disgust crossed his face, as the overly-sloshed Professor limped around to face him.
"Oh, so you came to rescue fair Miss McGonagall from the advances of her over eager suitor, did you? Well, you can have her! I'm sick of the Ministry, and their filthy decrees!" Fortinbras ranted, shooting a fist up toward the ceiling. The momentum of this movement caught him unawares, and he fell stiffly into the firm grasp of the Headmaster. Albus carted him out the door. As he exited, he could be heard to shout, "I've had it with women!"
When Albus returned, he found Minerva still staring in shock at the place where Fortinbras had nearly tumbled to the floor. Scooping her up, he transferred her to her bed. He quickly transformed her robes into a comfortable pair of flannel pajamas, and tucked her under the covers.
"Albus?" Minerva ventured as he walked around to the other side of the bed, "Can you really read my mind all the time?"
"Minerva, whenever you truly need me, I will come as quickly as humanly possible." He said this with such a warm, serene sincerity, Minerva couldn't help but sigh as his arms ensconced her, completing the feeling.
"Albus, Fortinbras mentioned that he had loved a woman once, and fought for her. Do you…?" She let the question hang on the inquiring look she turned up to him.
"I only know he's very skilled with the dark arts, but is very careful with their use. He's adamant about fighting dark wizards. I've even considered including him in the Order of the Phoenix, once I get to know him better. He's a very skilled fighter, Tabby," Albus conceded to Minerva's look of revulsion.
"Yes, well, let's hope his skills are relegated to the battle field."