Big thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing, also a huge thanks to Jaded79 for going over this chapter for me. WARNING: Heavy angst & mention of rape. Hope you enjoy and please let me know your thoughts.

Chapter 25

I'll catch you when you fall.

"I think it's time we talked" he spoke softly; she took a deep breath nodding. Standing from her seat, they moved out into the hall stopping at the door of their old room. She tried to calm herself, her heart pounded madly in her chest and her palms were crazy sweaty and even though she hated feeling this way she knew he was right, they did need to talk; but for the first time in a year she was scared to death even though she knew it was time to face her past and let it finally go.

Carol walked into the room that they used to share as a couple, happy and in love memories assaulted her senses as she looked around the room noting that nothing had changed. Moving across the room she notices that all her perfumes and lotions still sat on the bedside table; she couldn't believe it, touching the slightly dusty bottles.

"I couldn't bring myself to chuck anything away," he whispered. "Not anything," he said opening the wardrobe, she turned gasping seeing her wedding dress hanging there. She moved, touching the soft lace, tears burning her eyes.

"I remember when I saw this dress, I just couldn't tear my eyes away from it, it's perfect," she sighed.

"Just like its owner," he whispered in her ear as he ran his hand over her dark locks but she jerked away. Sighing, she turned to face him.

"I'm not perfect, not even close so don't kid yourself," she replied shaking her head.

"Carol…" he started but she quickly cut him off.

"I don't know what you want from me, Daryl? What answers you think I can offer you or peace of mind?" She sighed. "I'm not a good person Daryl and I'm definitely not that woman anymore," she informed him pointing at the wedding dress.

"No, you're much more than that now but that woman is still in there and you're wrong, you are good, you saved so many people last night with your actions," he reminded her.

"I killed countless men to do it." Taking a deep breath she continued, "Do you know how many people I have killed? Not just walkers but human beings."

"They were evil, Carol, rapists, murderers, pedophiles and kidnappers, they had it coming."

"No doubt, if I show up on your doorstep chances are you have done something to bring me there but it doesn't make it right… I lost count after the first hundred, I have killed and tortured countless and there were times when I liked it, enjoyed it and I'm actually known for my torturing techniques, why do you think the rebel leader flinched when I told him my name?"

"It doesn't matter, what you have done, you did it to save people, innocent people and the fact that you enjoyed it… Carol you were put through hell it's not so farfetched that you would want pay back." She didn't know what to say, she figured he would have bolted from her the moment she admitted to enjoying killing and torturing at times, and while she did enjoy it while she was doing it, it always haunted her afterwards, when things were quiet.

When she was alone.

"Carol please," his voice begged. "Talk to me." She looked up into his eyes and seeing his desperation, she sighed.

"I don't even know where to start," she said running her hands through her hair. He moved over to her grasping her hand and leading her to the bed they used to share, guiding her to sit beside him.

"Start at the beginning, at that day." She took a much needed deep breath, she could really use a drink and as if he could read her mind he leaned over to grab a bottle of rum out of the bedside table drawer, passing it to her. She took a large gulp, loving the feel of the liquor burning her throat and she looked at him.

"When you left Michonne and I that day with those men I felt… betrayed, I knew in my heart that you had no choice, that if you hadn't they would have killed us all but my head was screaming out and that's where it started."

"Where what started?"

"This rage, it burns inside me all the time and a lot of the time I can control it but then there are times where I just lose it and I lash out, I try not to, most of the time the person doesn't deserve it but…," she sighed before continuing. "When they took us back to the base, they tossed us into the cells and that's where we found Merle and he was terrified, and that's when I knew we were totally fucked."

"He doesn't like to talk about what happened to him while he was there but I know he has told Beth," Daryl said. Carol smiled at this, Merle Dixon and Beth Greene, who would have thought?

"I understand why, they left us there till the next morning, no food or water, sleeping on cold concrete floors but when they came they only took me, I guess the…" She took a deep breath, she hadn't spoken his name since that night and she knew she hadn't because it held power over her. Swallowing hard, she tried again. "The… the Governor figured Michonne would never talk so he took me, they took me into a room, the room you found me in." He looked at her but said nothing just wanting to give her a chance to let it all out.

"They stripped me down to my underwear and tied me to the table and for the next few hours I fought not to scream out, not to cave and tell him where the base was and I didn't, I didn't tell him, even when he cut into my skin, when he burnt me with hot sharpened screw drivers, or when he whipped me with a thick leather belt." She fought not to cry but the tears ran down her cheeks.

She stood lifting her shirt to show him just a few of her scars from that night, they littered her stomach and back, thick and violent and he found his own tears falling as he ran his rough fingers along her skin causing her to shudder under his touch.

"But I refused to talk and I guess he got bored or something cause he left me there half naked, cold and bloody with the walkers in the cage losing their minds trying to get to me… I have never been so scared in my whole life, if they had gotten out I would have been a goner but I also wished for death." She turned to look down at him, her eyes totally honest. "I wanted to die and just when I thought I might, he came back and untied me, told me you were there and I felt hopeful that maybe I would survive this. But when he knocked you out and I watched as you and Glenn were tied up, I knew there was no hope for me but I fought cause I couldn't stand to watch you die there with me and when…" Her words choked and died in her throat as it closed up, eyes burning with new tears, rage building. She fought for control. "When he raped me and I saw your eyes looking at me, I knew nothing would ever be alright again, I felt dirty and ashamed and I didn't want you to see me, to see what he made of me." He stood looking at her, wishing he knew what the right thing was to say to her.

"What he did was never your fault and you shouldn't feel ashamed, he was a monster" he reminded her cupping her check "Is that why you ran from me that night?"

"I couldn't look at you and it wasn't because I blamed you, I just… I felt wrong being there and I just wanted it to end… I never meant to get out alive but I ran into Michonne and Tyrese and he was looking at us to lead him, to save him and I found a reason to live, to fight… we saved a lot of good people that night and they all depend on me, thought I was some sort of guardian angel but I was just as broken as they were… they think I saved them but it was them that saved me that night." Her face was red and blotchy, eyes puffy from her tears, her heart sad and broken, she felt so exposed that she wanted to run again but when he moved slowly to bring his lips to hers she couldn't pull away.

She knew she didn't deserve him, no matter what he believed, she knew she wasn't a good person. She still had so much more she should tell him, things he deserved to know but she just couldn't take her lips off his. She moved fast, her hands clutching at his shirt and ripping it open. Hearing buttons scatter across the room, she pushed it from his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor.

He lifted her top over her head, careful not to hurt her stitched shoulder and tossed it to the floor with his own shirt. Unclasping her bra, he felt the breath leave his lungs at the sight of her naked chest. Running his hand down the valley between her two perfect mounds he stopped at the top of her black pants, dropping to his knees he undid her pants. Moving to push them down, he stopped when he noticed a tattoo on her left hip.

"Rose?," he asked questioningly running his fingers across the red rose that had the name Rose written across its stem. "Is that someone you saved?" She looked at him, her heart pounding so hard she thought it might smash out of her chest.

"No, it's someone who saved me," she whispered tears burning her eyes wishing she had the courage to tell him everything, she gasped when she felt him kiss her tattoo softly.

"Thank you Rose." She felt her heart break, tears running down her face, shaking her body. He continued to remove her pants, standing to face her he kissed her tears away before moving to kiss her lips once again.

She knew she had made the biggest mistake of her life when she had run from him, she regretted it but she also knew there was no going back. So many lies, so much deception, she had made so many mistakes and she knew he would never forgive her. She knew she should tell him now, her biggest secret, but she couldn't, she needed him even if it was only for one night.

She unbuttoned his pants pushing them down his legs and kicking them aside as he stepped out of them. He was already hard for her, she could feel him against her thigh and she knew she couldn't wait, there was no time for foreplay; she just needed him inside her.

Moving him to sit on the edge of the bed, she straddled his waist, giving him no warning she slipped down onto his length. They both moaned loudly at the feel of being joined again after being apart for so long, savouring the feeling for a moment before slowly moving again.

Carol moaned at the feel of him slipping in and out of her body, loving having him inside her. It felt so right, so perfect; like they were made for each other and each other alone, but she knew she could never stay. They just didn't belong in each other's worlds anymore. She pushed the thought aside and focused on being with him now.

"Oh god Daryl," she moaned in his ear, feeling that familiar burn start to build in the pit of her stomach. Running her nails slowly down his sweaty back, causing him to groan in approval.

He moaned in pleasure. She was so perfect, so tight and wet for him. He loved being with her, in her again, it had been so long but it was like they were never apart as they fell into perfect sync together. She was his. He would never let her go again no matter how much she fought him, he would make sure the day would come when she wore that beautiful wedding dress and said 'I do' to marrying him.

He could feel his climax nearing as he leaned his forehead against hers opening his eyes to look at her. She had her eyes squeezed closed, a look of pure pleasure across her soft features but he needed to see them while she came. He needed her to see who she was with and for her to see just how perfect they were together, that they were meant to be.

"Open your eyes," he whispered. Looking into her now open globes, he smiled. "Want to be looking you in the eyes while you cum," he whispered huskily, sending a bolt of sparks straight down her body and to her clit.

"You're mine Carol, only mine… you're with me and I'll never leave your side again, I've got you, I promise to catch you when you fall," he promised her. She couldn't stop the tears that started to fall at his words.

"God Daryl," she moaned feeling her walls starting to flutter around him. He picked up the pace, thrusting up into her harder and faster, feeling his own orgasm building.

"I love you," he moaned looking her in the eyes; more tears fell from her eyes as he moved to wipe them. His words sent her spiralling out of control, inner walls clamping around him as she moaned his name in release. Her climax sent him quickly into his own.

"Oh, Carol," he groaned spilling his seed inside of her.

Neither one of them said anything; instead they shifted, moving to lay on the bed. Daryl grabbed the blankets to cover them, running his hands down her back feeling the bumps and ridges of her scars he held her close, listening to her breathe evenly, thinking she must be asleep.

"I love you so much, I promise to always be there by your side," he whispered into her neck kissing her softly before falling into a dreamless slumber.

Carol laid there; her eyes wide open as she listened to him snoring softly. She laid there for hours fighting with herself internally. A part of her wanted to stay, to stay there in his arms forever but the other part of her, the fearful and insecure part was screaming in her head to run, to get out of there while she still could. It soon won out; slipping quietly from his grasp, she pulled on her clothes before turning to look back at him.

"I love you too, but I'm so sorry Daryl you deserve better than I could ever give you. I hope you can forgive me," she whispered placing a soft kiss on his cheek before moving across the room. Reaching for the door handle, she spared him one last look before opening the door and walking out of the room and his life.