Chapter six
It had turned into one of those days at the hospital that people would be talking about for years to come. It wasn't so much that the events happening were out in the public, but it wasn't long before word got around about what was happening. It would forever be known as the day of the mini prank war between Doctor House and Doctor Cuddy's assistant Max. What made the whole thing even more worthy of gossip was the fact that not only was Max Cuddy's assistant, but she was also House's daughter.
The information about Max being the biological daughter of House and Cuddy and spread rather quickly. Which meant that now it was very common to go down the halls of the PPTH and hear the names of House, Cuddy, and Max being spoken.
Today's little prank war had started with Max getting the nurses in the clinic to place a different jar of lollipops on their station just before House came over to them, and then placing the original back on after he left.
This lead to House getting an extremely spicy lollipop. House in turn then came back by having Chase go to their patient's house and go through his trash all by himself. The reason for this was because this entire thing had started because of House making Chase do unnecessary tasks. So now the day went on with House getting Chase to do things that were beneath his skills, and then having Max pull a little prank on House.
Poor Chase felt like he was in the middle (which he was) but he also didn't know what do to. He didn't want to argue with House and make things worse for himself. At least he was still being included in the case. He was just getting the crappy jobs that came with it while Foreman and Cameron got to do the more 'glamorous' part of the treatment.
After finding out about Chase's trash duty, Max had somehow managed to enter House's office while he was out and spray painted his desk and office chair a bright pink colour. How she managed to do this without being caught House would never know. After that, House had Chase give the patient (a 45-year-old man) a sponge bath in order to check for bites or ticks. This was something that a nurse could have done.
So now it was late in the afternoon, and House was sitting in his newly cleaned office. The pink was long gone as House had hired a professional cleaning company to do it and paid for it out of his own pocket instead of charging the hospital as he would normally do, but he didn't think Cuddy's stress levels could take it. The office now smelled strongly of cleaning product.
So, House was now sitting in his chair, trying to think of what other annoying things he could get Chase to do. Their patient and been cured and was now in recovery so they didn't have anything else left with that to do. Right now, Chase was currently going through a stack of old case files even though there was no need to do so. House was sure that this would lead to Max pulling another prank. Which was why he wanted to think of his next move. To stay one step ahead.
It was while House was thinking that Max walked into his office. She walked over to his desk and folded her arms over her chest while narrowing her eyes slightly.
"You don't learn do you?" She asked.
House looked up at her with a fake look of puzzlement on his face. He had to admit that he was enjoying himself with all of this.
"Don't know what you mean." He replied, trying to sound innocent when he clearly wasn't.
"Oh really?" She asked. "So where's Chase right now? Doing important work I bet."
"This is a hospital," House said with a small smirk. "All work here is important."
"Yes," Max laughed slightly. "Which is why you are always super keen to do your clinic hours."
House leaned back in his chair as he tried to fight back the amused smirk that threatened to develop his face.
Max sighed before sitting down in one of the chairs in front of him. She ran one hand through her hair quickly.
"This is getting ridiculous." She said with a serious deep sigh.
"Calling it quits?" He asked. "Or simply run out of ideas on what to do next?"
Max smiled slightly and said, "Who says I haven't already done something else?"
House opened his mouth to say something but Max quickly interrupted him.
"It really doesn't matter anyway." She told him, her tone serious again. "If I wanna see Chase in a non-professional way then I will. You can't stop me, nor do you have the right to stop me."
"I don't care who you date." House snapped. "If you wanna date a poor Aussie version of me then go ahead."
Max chuckled and shook her head. "You think Chase is another version of you?"
"No," House replied quickly.
"I'm so telling Chase." Max laughed. "I think that might be a compliment."
House glared at her. "You—"
Before he could finish his thought, the door to his office swung open and in stormed Cuddy. She looked furious as she stopped and stood sternly in front of them.
"My office. NOW!" She hissed.
House cast his eyes down slightly. While this whole little 'war' with Max was fun, he had forgotten what kind of issues it could cause Cuddy, what with all the extra gossip around the hospital and all. He slowly stood up and grabbed his cane.
Cuddy started to walk out as House moved around his desk to follow her.
"Ooh someone's in trouuuuble." Max drawled out with a smile.
"You too Max!" Cuddy shouted as she walked out of the room.
"Oh man." Max breathed out before she stood up.
House grinned cheekily and whispered, "Looks like I'm not the only one in trouuuuble."
Max rolled her eyes before she followed her mother out.
**House MD**
House and Max were sitting in the two chairs in front of Cuddy's desk while she sat in front of them. Her expression was stern. House was reminded of the feeling you get as a child when you get called into the principal's office. He quickly glanced at Max and wondered if she was thinking the same thing.
After a moment of silence, Cuddy finally spoke.
"Do you two have anything to say for yourself?" She asked slowly.
Max bit her lip slightly and turned her head just enough to look at House. He in turn also looked at her.
"Well?" Cuddy asked, irritated.
House turned back to Cuddy and said, "She started it."
"What?" Max asked. Half shocked, half amused. She turned to face him fully. "If anything you started it."
"Lollipop," House replied shortly.
"Ah budget reports," Max replied, mimicking his tone.
"Ah—" House began.
"—Enough!" Cuddy snapped. Her hands in the air in frustration. "What exactly has been going on in my hospital?" She demanded.
"He's been making Chase do ridiculous extra work just to try and stop us from going on a date," Max replied quickly. "Because he's somehow gotten it into his head that he can control who I date."
"All I did was give my team member some extra work, as you put it," House replied. He tried to act innocent though he knew neither woman believed his act. "She's the one who decided to pull childish pranks in a place of business."
"Because childish pranks are so beneath you House," Max said while rolling her eyes.
"Whatever is happening," Cuddy said suddenly. "It ends now. I will not have my hospital turned into a circus because you two are having a disagreement. Am I understood?"
House looked down briefly before meeting Cuddy's eyes. He was beginning to feel guilty about stressing her out.
"Yes," Max said quietly.
House followed her lead and answered, "Sure."
"Sorry Cuddy," Max said.
Cuddy sighed and nodded her head. Her whole body relaxed a little.
"Thank you," Cuddy said with another sigh. "Max, there are some emails that I need you to go over."
Max quickly glanced at House and then back at Cuddy with a nod. Max knew that she had gotten off pretty lightly. It wouldn't have been unreasonable for Cuddy to yell at them some more and the fact that she didn't mean that Max knew she'd gotten off lightly and she didn't want to push her luck.
She slowly stood from her chair with one last smile and then headed towards the door.
As Max got to the door, she heard House push his own chair back and then heard Cuddy's voice.
"House, you stay," Cuddy said firmly.
"But-" House began to protest.
Max couldn't help but grin as she left the office and closed the door.
**House MD**
House looked at Cuddy as she sat behind her desk. They had remained silent for several moments after Max had left. House could tell that there was a lot more that Cuddy wanted to say to him and that she was just trying to find the right words to say.
Has he watched her, he couldn't help but notice how different her body had changed due to her pregnancy. Her boobs were looking fuller and bigger than they had before. Only slightly but if you were House you'd notice these sorts of things…especially with Cuddy. He couldn't see her stomach as the desk obstructed his view but he knew that there was a little bump there.
Even though the pregnancy was no longer a secret, Cuddy still tried to hide her bump slightly. House doubted it was because she was ashamed or anything like that. It was most likely to her wanting to seem more professional.
Finally, Cuddy sighed and shook her head, "House," she began.
"Hey, for once it wasn't all my fault," House said, raising his hands slightly.
Cuddy looked at him. Her eyes full of emotion.
"House, I'm used to you pulling pranks." Cuddy began. "Heck, I've been on the end of a few of them. But, Max…"
"Technically, Max was the one doing the pranks this time," House said quickly. "I didn't even prank her back. So… shouldn't I get points for that?"
"Why do you have to upset Max?" Cuddy asked suddenly, her tone almost pleading.
"Cuddy, I think Max is far from upset."
"But what if she's not? What if she decides to pull back from us? From…" Cuddy paused and trailed off. "We just found her. I don't want…"
House's expression softened as he understood what Cuddy was worried about.
"Cuddy," House said slowly. In that way that cut straight through her. "I'd never do anything to jeopardize our relationship with Max. Your relationship with Max. But Max is more like you than you think."
"Meaning?" Cuddy asked softly.
House's mouth twitched into a slight grin. "Meaning she's tough and she fights back. Just like her mother. But she can also be a stubborn pain in the ass."
"Just like her father," Cuddy said with a small smile.
"Yeah." House agreed. "So don't worry ok. Don't stress. Ok?"
Cuddy nodded slowly. Perhaps she was letting her hormones do most of the thinking. She should have known that House wouldn't do anything to deliberately push Max away.
"Ok." She agreed.
House nodded and after a short pause when he was sure the conversation was over, he stood up and moved towards the door.
"Oh, and House," Cuddy called after him. When he turned around she said, "You have 2 extra hours in the clinic."
"That's not fair." He whined. "Max was the one pulling the pranks."
"She's not a doctor. I can't really have her in the clinic."
House narrowed his eyes in a glare. "That's favouritism."
"Maybe…" Cuddy replied with a short shrug.
House placed a hand over his heart and pouted. "I'm hurt. Is this what it's going to be like from now on? You and Max against me? And when that one comes along too?" He pointed his cane briefly in her direction, letting her know that he was referring to their unborn baby. "Girls sticking together and all that crap."
Cuddy smirked, "Bye House."
**House MD**
When House left Cuddy's office, he saw that Max was already working on her computer. Most likely replying to emails.
"So, what's your punishment?" Max asked, not looking up from her computer screen.
"Clinic duty."
"Bummer."
House limped towards her and said, "I like how you're the one who pulls pranks and yet I'm the one who gets in trouble."
Max grinned, "I like it too."
There was a small stretch of silence before House's whole demeanour turned serious.
"Are you looking for an apology?" He asked.
"No," Max shook her head slightly. She took a deep breath and continued. "if anything… I should probably be the one to say sorry."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." Max nodded and bit her lower lip slightly. "I may have gotten carried away, and even though you were acting like a complete moron. I'll admit that my reaction wasn't the most mature it could have been."
House nodded in agreement, "No it wasn't"
"It's just… sometimes I have a tendency to act before I think. Especially when I get upset or angry. So… I'm sorry."
House looked at her for a moment and smiled. Even though he had known her for a while now, it still amazed him at how beautiful and smart she was. So much like her mother.
Suddenly a thought occurred to him as he remembered something.
"Like the night you trashed my apartment?" He asked suddenly, raising one eyebrow.
Max bit her lip again and looked down briefly. When she looked back up and shrugged.
"Thought you forgot about that." She said in a soft tone.
"Almost did," House replied. "So it was you? Even though Cuddy gave you an alibi?"
"Yes and again another example of me acting before thinking. I have more. Examples that is." She tried to joke.
"Seeing as you and I didn't really know each other back then," House began. "Wanna tell me what I did to make you try your hand and break and entering?"
Max sighed deeply before she answered. "I came by Cuddy's office one night to see if she wanted to grab a coffee or something. And I heard you talk about how you didn't want the kid you two had together-"
House's face fell slightly. He remembered that conversation all too well. He remembered the hurt and shocked expression in Cuddy's eyes. He remembered the words he had said. He remembered feeling like crap the next day for being such a jerk.
"I didn't know it was you I was talking about." He said quietly.
"I know. Rationally I did know that. I just have anger issues." Max honestly replied.
"And I didn't mean it."
"I know," Max said with a small nod. "I know that now."
"So… we're good?"
"Yeah." Max agreed. "We're good."
She smiled and House couldn't help but smile back. He nodded and then turned towards the door.
"Oh, and House," Max called. "I win." She said with a grin.
House looked amused, "What makes you think that?"
"Because I got the last laugh – or, well the last move in the game."
"I think you need your memory checked. 'Cause I'm pretty sure I already had Chase doing stuff which means that you still owe me a prank. So if anything, I won."
Max leaned back in her chair and folded her arms with a knowing smile on her face. She briefly looked down at his cane and then back up.
"Try letting go of your cane Dr House." She said.
House's own smile faded as he looked down at his hand that was holding his cane. It was then that he realised that since coming to Cuddy's office, he hadn't actually let go of his cane. He tried to pull his fingers from the wood but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't pull them away.
His eyes grew wide in shock and disbelief. "Nooooo?" He drawled out.
When he looked back up at Max he saw that she was grinning and holding a small tube of super glue between her fingers.
Max grinned proudly, "I won!"
To Be Continued…