*There's a scene from Chapter 10 of my other fic, Caught in the Whirlwind, about Southeast Asia, referenced here
*Also a scene about cookie butter from chapter 14 from the same fic. Will try to mention cross references here.
*chapter 19 from the other story, references the photo
8
"Helloooo?," Alex called out a bit confused to see the lights on in the living room down the hall, with background noise from the television set, but no Piper.
"I'm in here," Piper called out from the living room.
The tall brunette glided down the pumpkin colored hallway adorned with dozens of photos from their past travels. Her footsteps became louder as her footing transitioned off of the runner from the hall into the entryway.
"Are you ok?," she called out, as she slipped the strap of her cross body backpack over her head and placed it in the basket under the mail table.
"Yep, just trying to work my magic."
She began to walk towards the living room but stopped herself mid-step.
"Shoes!," the blonde called out from the living room.
She retreated back towards the table and leaned her back against the wall, lifted her leg and unzipped her boot, followed by the other. She placed the boots beside their coat-rack, unbuttoned her jacket, unlooped her scarf from around her neck, and hung them both on the rack. She walked hurriedly towards the voice, her socked feet however provided no traction causing her to almost slip on the polished hardwood floor, but she regained her balance; she didn't remember it being so slippery.
She turned the corner of the living room and eyed an empty couch. Her eyes darted quickly when she found Piper on the floor on her elbows and knees, a pillow under her cheek, her ass in the air.
"Hey," she mumbled from the ground.
Alex inhaled slowly and brought a hand to her mouth, "are you fucking kidding me?"
"Are my plans of seduction working?," she laughs, "I'm innocently trying to get Mookie to turn, see?" she hands the papers to Alex and points to the dog-eared page with the "knee chest" illustration. "I crawled around all day scrubbing the floors and..."
"Yeah I almost busted my ass in the hall, thanks for the heads up!"
"You're extremely welcome for the clean floor, ungrateful,... and I'm supposed to stay like this for half an hour, I still have about 8 minutes."
"Yeah well if you stay in that position much longer, mmm," she drops down to her knees, "I'm about to do some not so innocent things to you."
"Oh my God Alex, are you serious?"
She stares voraciously at Piper, "yes."
"Al...I know that look. What are you thinking about?"
She kneels behind her and presses her hips towards Pipers bottom. "You were in this position that incredible night we did X on the beach in Southeast Asia."
"That was a long time ago."
"You were irresistible then and you're irresistible now," she raises her eyebrows and lets them fall quickly.
"I still have 7 minutes."
Alex thrusts her hips against the back of Piper's thighs teasing. "You can stay right where you are, no need to move that perfect little ass," she says squeezing both of her cheeks.
"My ass is not little Alex," she replied sounding slightly self-conscious and comes up onto her palms.
Alex pushes her head back down onto the pillow, "your body is gorgeous," she says as she leans over Piper's back and rubs her hands over the blonde's hips, "I love every inch of you," her hands continue along her torso and over her breasts, squeezing them firmly.
Piper inhales sharply at the touch. "It's hard to feel desirable when your body changes this rapidly." She tries to ignore the hands that tickle her sensitive places.
"Um, if I haven't made it clear how much I want you, please let me show you how sorry I am."
She traced her hands up Pipers legs and found the waistband to her leggings. She pulled them and her panties down to her knees encouraging Piper to lift each knee as she pulled them down past her feet. She laid her chest along Pipers back and returned her hands to the space on Piper's upper thighs right under her belly."
"Al," she whined, she squeezed her muscles together.
"Hey, it's just me, babe." She rubbed her skin firmly while she inhaled the scent of Pipers shampoo. She was still tense. "Let go," she whispered.
"Al," she whined again but relented at the seductive touch, "okay, but go slow.I've been in this position all day," she says arching her back like a cat.
"Then lie down, here," she helped Piper re-adjust to lie on her side. She lay in front of her mirroring her position and just stroked her skin. She kisses her deeply but slowly.
"Want a massage? Though I'm not promising where these hands will end up."
"Mmm, yes please."
She helps Piper lift her tunic over her head and discards it to the side. Piper leans up onto her elbow and Alex unhooks her bra and snakes it through her arm.
She gently massages the blonde from head to toe until she could hear her breathing turn into a mere hum. She grabbed a couch pillow and placed it between the blonde's knees. She stroked her fingers between her folds, her libido increasing as her touch was met with wetness.
Piper grunted in her throat, as Alex stroked her back and forth coating her fingers before slipping them inside. She barely moved her fingers as Piper pushed back into the curve of Alex's lap. Piper rocked her body against the smooth fingers as she felt Alex's breath against her back.
"Mmmm, I love the way you move baby, ride me." Piper continued to roll her hips and Alex moved with her. They rocked in unison and continued to make love on the blanket on their floor until they were both satisfied.
"I love you Pipes," she said as she leaned up to kiss her along her jaw and then again on her mouth. "And I love you Mookie," she kissed Piper's belly and rested her cheek there for a moment.
Piper turned around to face Alex, her wife's hand lingering to feel the baby moving. It took many encounters to get comfortable with the inconspicuous tiny participant, that was now always between them but she tried not to give it much thought anymore. She lifted her own hand and stroked her wife's hair back behind her ear and caressed her head. "Al? The other day when you were asking about pregnancy spacing, what made you ask?"
Alex averted her eyes and swallowed hard. She found Pipers eyes and shrugged her shoulders. "I just want to know what our options are."
"I don't know that I want two. Were you thinking that you wanted another one?"
"No idea Piper, really. Let me see how I can handle the one and we can revisit it later on."
Piper nodded, "Oh speaking of taking on more than we can handle, Polly and Pete have a wedding in a few weeks and kids aren't invited, she asked if we wanted to watch Finn for them."
"Yeah of course, why would that be too much?," asking as if this was no big deal.
"Well it's out of town, so it would be overnight," she said as she straightened Alex's glasses that were sliding off of her nose.
"Got it, but you'll be there right?"
"Yeah of course. But I might conveniently be busy for a few hours just to see what you do with him on your own."
Alex purses her lips and starts to bite the inside of her bottom lip, she nods slowly.
Piper presses her forehead against her wife, "I wouldn't do that to you. I'll be there the whole time. You'd be fine though, really."
Alex tilted her head back slightly, relieved. She loved Finn dearly and he was such a good boy, but the thought of being alone with him, to take care of him overnight and return him to Polly in one piece was somewhat daunting. She was really glad Piper was kidding.
"Alright lemme give her a call and let her know so she can send out the RSVP."
"K. Hey can I talk to her afterwards? Some people at work gave me verbal RSVP's for our shower, I just want to make sure she writes them down."
"Like who?"
"Oh you know just some of the guys, they're excited for us. You don't think it's going to be overly girly do you?"
"Well seeing as this is a Nicky-Polly collaboration, I decided to throw any preconceived notions out the door."
After speaking to Polly about their upcoming shower and confirming they'd be happy to watch Finn, she was told that she was way ahead of them regarding the shower. Alex took the phone and walked a few feet away when Piper went to get up, pulled on her tunic and followed her into the kitchen. Alex's eyes met her gaze and she made a shooing motion with her hand. Piper didn't pester her as she knew the two were up to something, she'd never get Alex to spill the beans. She looked through some cabinets for something to snack on when Alex got off the phone,
"What are you looking for?"
"I don't know... something, you know what I just had a craving for? I don't even know the name of it."
Alex bit her lip, curious. "Hmm?"
"That dip, it was kind of like Nutella, that you brought to the room for me when we were in Brussels. Remember I didn't eat for like two days, because I was convinced I was going to get caught while we stayed in that hotel room. You got scared that I was going to faint and went out into the street in the middle of the night looking for something that had sugar. It was so good, I dipped pretzels from the vending machine into that stuff and finished the whole jar. You went out and got me two more."
The brunette remained silent.
"Al?," the blonde nudged gently.
"I should've never let you do that run."
"Babe, please, I'm not getting into this with you. We've gone over this a thousand times. It's in the past, over and done."
The brunette remained silent, appearing lost in thought. "Babe?," the blonde nudged gently once again.
Hmmm?," Alex inquired with a frown.
"The spekuloos? Can you try to find some?"
"Yeah...," she replies in a daze. "Yes, yeah I'll go find some."
She had hit the rewind button on the disc of their past so many times trying to recall what gave her the confidence to take advantage of the girl who was so different from every other girl she'd known. She'd replayed the disc the moment the young blonde told her she couldn't be with her anymore, when she still had the drive to leave her after she'd learnt of her mother's passing, when she saw her in the cafeteria at Litchfield years later, and so many other times when she'd shown her kindness and patience when she didn't feel worthy.
Despite Piper's incessant insistence that she fully forgave her, the brunette always felt like a reprehensible black light emitted from deep within her, forever tarnished, inerasable.
She'd tried so hard to condone her wrongdoing, convincing herself that the girl was well informed and fully in control of her own actions but after years at her attempt of justification, her conscience that was buried deep within, grew upward and she knew she was wrong. The halves of her body battled hour after hour, day after day, year after year until the dark-side gained the upper hand and she no longer found pleasure in anything. She'd turned to heroin for an instantaneous, short-lived reprieve, only to restart the battle hours later; but it had served it's purpose in the moment, an escape from the swirling darkness, the loneliness associated with the abandonment from the one person who really taught her what it meant to be alive.
She took advantage of the girl's need to explore what the world had to offer, of the girls love, and her loyalty. Til this day, entire months would go by without a thought about the darker times of their relationship, but sometimes, even when recalling a more pleasant moment of their lives while they traveled, a stream of the dark smoke filtered into the memory and she just couldn't take it.
The beats of Britney's "Work Bitch" mashed with LMFAO's "Shot's" escaping from the door of the bar broke her out of her trance. The clinking of the glasses at the bar mixed with the smell of cigarettes in the frigid night air welcomed her.
"Can I bum one of those?" she asked a young guy leaning up against the red painted bricks of the bar. She held the cigarette between her lips, and cupped the lighter to protect the flame as she inhaled deeply. She slowly inhaled the nicotine until she was down to a stub before she stepped inside, unwrapped the scarf from around her neck and took a seat at the bar.
"Double Soco neat."
The bartender placed the drink in front of her "$10.00 sweetheart"; she nursed it slowly and rested her elbows on the bar. She cracked her knuckles and leaned her chin onto her fist. She slipped a hand into the pocket of her coat and pulled out her wallet. She unsnapped the metal and fished through the money compartment and pulled out the contents. Among the bills, was an old wrinkled photo of Piper looking over her shoulder. Alex had surprised her in that moment, so she wasn't smiling, and it wasn't staged. It was one of her favorites. She thumbed the photo and then searched through her wallet for her sonogram photo of her baby. Air pushed through her teeth as her eyes darted back and forth at the images, and she ran her hands through her hair. Her hands shook as she placed the money on the sticky wooden table. She exited the bar, slipped her hands into her pockets and started walking quickly down the sidewalk. The hot tears in her eyes met the cold air causing an unpleasant burn. She continuously removed her right hand from her pocket to wipe her nose, alternating between sniffing back the contents that tried to run from her nostrils. She pushed the door open to Trader Joe's, grabbed a basket and walked up and down the aisles until she found the cookie butter. She thoughtlessly placed half a dozen jars into the basket, and walked up to the counter to pay. The cashier peered at her cautiously, she appeared to have a mental disorder, appearing distressed and disheveled, but she paid and bolted out the door. She walked the mile back to their apartment regaining more composure with each block that she left behind her.
She gathers her keys and is about to unlock the door when she hears music. She presses her ear to the crack in the door and listens, she can hear her singing. She can't quite make out the tune from behind the door but she hears Piper's voice intertwined with the artist. She unlocks the door, undresses down to her shirt, jeans and socks and walks, carefully this time, over the hardwood to find Piper with her eyes closed, slouching on the couch singing her heart out to"At the Ballet" from one of her favorite shows, A Chorus Line. Piper sings when she's happy, when she needs to relieve stress, to put others in a good mood. Her sound is always melodic.
Alex melts to her knees beside her, "I adore you," she says startling the blonde. She kisses down the length of her arm, "and no matter what you say, a part of me will always feel like I don't deserve you." Piper could smell the liquor and cigarettes on her mouth, but the anguish on her face killed her. "I'm so sorry," the brunette choked out. Piper brushed her fingers through the frostbitten hat hair that lay beside her arm. She didn't need to clarify, she'd heard the apology many times before; the brunette was still occasionally ruthless just now toward herself.
"Your voice is beautiful. I wish that I could make you feel the way, you make me feel when you sing. Our baby will be so lucky to have you."
She curls her arm around the brunette and pulls her close. "Babies don't judge Alex," she continues to stroke her fingers through the dark strands, "and I try not to either. Our love is too strong to keep a record of all our faults. You sing whatever is on your mind, it doesn't have to rhyme or make sense, we'll both hear it."
Alex reaches into the bag, opens a jar of the Spekuloos and hands it to Piper. She begins reading, her voice begins to calm. They both have their relapse of times they feel should be unforgiven but find solace in each other's voice, they cling to each other in a tight grip, each time moving further away from a misunderstood past.