A/N I am glad that people enjoyed the last chapter. I thought it was important for Mark to make amends with his parents before he became a father.
Memory Lane
The next day was their last day in New York. Derek, Mark and Addison took Callie around New York so she could see the major sights. They stopped by the Rockefeller Center, Ground Zero, the New York Zoo and a few of the really amazing shops. Addison had dragged Callie away from the men for a little shopping in Addison's favorite high end shops. Finally, they were walking along one of New York's streets. Callie was looking around and taking in all that her eyes could take in. Mark looked at Callie and he resisted the urge to slip his hand over hers. He knew that she was not ready for what Mark was ready to offer her. So Mark had to adopt a semi adult level of patience.
Neither Derek, Addison nor Mark realized where they were until Addison stopped. She stopped and looked up at a brownstone. Her already pale skin seemed to pale even more. She couldn't believe that her two male companions had no idea where they were.
"Derek." Addison whispered as her hand that held her Kate Spade purse clenched tighter. Derek looked at Addison and she looked about ready to pass out.
"What is it Addison?" Derek asked her anxiously.
"That's our brownstone Der." Addison whispered as tears filled her eyes. She remembered the last time that she had been in that house with Derek. It was the night that would change everything. Derek had just found her in bed with Mark and he tried to throw her out of the house. He had some sort of change of heart and then he let her back in. He didn't stay though. He couldn't stay. He told her that he couldn't even look at her without feeling ill.
Derek felt stupid. How could he not remember the place where he and Addison had lived for eleven years? Eleven years included eleven Christmases, eleven birthdays and eleven Thanksgivings. Derek guessed that after he had walked in on Mark and Addison he had forced himself to repress all memories of the brownstone even if a lot of the memories were happy ones. He looked at Addison who had tears in her eyes and he reached out and took her hand. He squeezed it gently.
"It looks exactly the same Addie." Derek murmured. From what he remembered, the brownstone hadn't changed a bit.
Addison couldn't believe that Derek was calling her by her nickname so much while they were on this trip. He hadn't called her Addie in years. So hearing him call her Addie several time while they were in New York just felt like old times.
Callie and Mark had stepped back when Addison had mentioned that the brownstone was Derek's and hers. Mark couldn't believe that he couldn't remember it either, but he guessed that the reason was that the brownstone held the memories of his official betrayal of his best friend. Mark hadn't thought of that night in a long time, but now as he saw the brownstone, he could remember that night so clearly. Mark looked at Callie and sighed. He would let Addison and Derek have this moment together. They were never able to really say goodbye to the brownstone and Mark suspected that they really needed this moment.
Addison held up her large key ring with a small smile. She still had the brownstone's keys. She hadn't sold the brownstone yet. She had had offers for it, but she just couldn't bring herself to sell it. She wanted to go inside the brownstone, but she was terrified that all of the memories of the night that she and Mark had betrayed Derek would come rushing back the moment she stepped into the brownstone.
"You never sold it?" Derek asked. He was honestly surprised. He thought for sure that she would have sold it by now.
"I had offers, but I just wasn't ready to let it go yet." Addison admitted softly.
"Do you want to go in?" Derek asked Addison softly. Maybe this was what they really needed. Maybe they needed to go back into the house that had been the source of so much heartache.
"Yeah." Addison murmured as she walked up the stairs and put the key in the keyhole.
Derek turned to Callie and Mark who both look bewildered. They weren't sure what they should be doing right now.
"Come in Mark, Callie." Derek told them.
Mark was stunned. After what he had done to Derek, right here in this house, Derek wanted him to come back into it. Mark wasn't sure if he should. He looked at Callie who shrugged and then Mark looked back at Derek.
"You needed support from us when you saw your parents for the first time in fourteen years. Now Addie and I need you and Callie's support as we revisit our house and all of the good and bad memories that are in it." Derek told Mark. Mark still wasn't a hundred percent sure that he felt comfortable with this, but Derek was his best friend and if Derek asked him for help, Mark would do it.
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Addison stepped inside of the brownstone and the first thing she saw was the staircase. Flashes of Derek running down the staircase with her clothes ran through her mind. Addison remembered chasing after him, begging him to stay so they could work it out. Addison rested her hand on the banister and her blue eyes locked on parts of the staircase where her clothes had flown off and where she had torn Mark's clothes off. Derek knew that his memory bank would activate when they went up the staircase and he saw the place that Mark's leather jacket had been that night.
Mark was remembering that night too. He remembered clothes being torn off and then stumbling into the bedroom with Addison's lips attached to his lips. He needed to get this out of his mind. He looked down at what he was wearing and he was startled to realize that he was wearing the same leather jacket that he had been wearing that night. He looked at Derek at a loss as to what to say.
"I'm sorry Derek." Mark finally told his best friend. He had never really apologized, but he was doing it now and Mark hoped that Derek would officially forgive him.
"I know you are Mark. I forgive you." Derek told Mark reassuringly. Derek looked at Addison and smiled at her.
"I forgive both of you." Derek told Addison, but also meaning for Mark to hear it too.
Addison was glad to finally hear that from Derek. It meant more to her than Derek would ever know. She was sorrier than anyone would ever know about that night. She was sorry for what she had done to the baby that Mark and she had created. She knew that she would never fully forgive herself for that. She wasn't sure Mark would ever fully forgive her for that either.
Callie felt out of place. The three of them were clearly remembering something that Callie had had no part in. She didn't feel uncomfortable, but she definitely felt awkward as she hung back, away from the group.
"I'm going to go upstairs." Callie finally heard Addison say. Callie had a feeling that Addison would want to do this alone without anyone with her. The guys seemed to sense this as well so they backed away and let Addison do what she needed to do.
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Addison walked up the stairs alone, knowing that she needed to see the Master bedroom. She hadn't seen it since that night and she needed to see it again. Addison considered this more of a healing thing. When she reached the second level, she turned right and went into the bedroom. As soon as she got into the bedroom, memories of when Derek walked in on her and Mark flooded her brain. She couldn't look at the bed because that only made it worse.
Mark, Derek and Callie were still downstairs by the staircase. Mark was worried about Addison. It was too quiet up there. Mark just wasn't sure if quietness was a good thing right now. Mark looked at Derek and then at Callie.
"I'm going up." Mark told them both, unable to deal with the dead silence anymore.
"She needs time alone for reflection Mark." Callie whispered.
Mark didn't care. He could just sense that Addison was upset and he felt like he needed to be up there with her. He took the stairs two at a time and when he made it to the second floor, he went to the right and he was startled to see Addison standing by her old walk in closet.
"Addison?" Mark asked quietly.
"I can't look at that bed Mark. I just can't. I keep remembering what we did and I can't look at the bed without remembering everything from the moment I kissed you all the way until Derek walked in on us." Addison admitted softly.
Mark sighed. He had had a feeling that all of the memories of that night would come rushing back for Addison and he wished that someone had come up with her in the first place.
"Addie you need to sell this place. I know you love it, but if you sell it, then you won't came back here anymore and you won't have the memories plaguing you." Mark told her softly. Addison shook her head stubbornly. She was not ready to sell the brownstone and she wasn't sure if she ever would be.
"No Mark. I am not ready to sell it." Addison told Mark flatly.
Mark knew that he wouldn't be able to talk Addison into anything and that included selling a house that she had no intention on ever living in again. Mark moved to stand beside Addison and he too avoided looking at the bed. He had a feeling that he would have a rush of memories from that night too and he didn't want that. He didn't want to keep remembering what they did to Derek.
Derek and Callie were still standing at the base of the stairs. The silence was unsettling. Callie didn't know what to say to Derek and Derek didn't know what to say to Callie. Callie shifted slightly in her place and finally looked at Derek.
"You should go up with her." Callie told Derek. Derek shook his head. He wasn't sure if he was ready to see the bedroom where his best friend and wife had betrayed him.
"She's got Mark up with her." Derek reminded Callie. Callie shook her head. She knew that Mark was a good friend to Addison, but she also knew that Addison needed Derek up there with her.
"You need to go up there." Callie insisted firmly
Derek was going to argue with her but then he remembered that she was pregnant. Derek's sisters had all been pregnant so he knew that when pregnant women gave an order like this, he just needed to agree without argument. He nodded and went up the stairs, blocking the memories of that night from his brain.
When he got to the doorway of the master bedroom, Derek took a deep breath before he walked in. Mark and Addison were standing by the walk in closet. Clearly they could not even look at the bed themselves. Derek looked at Mark and nodded.
"I got this Mark." Derek told Mark quietly. Mark nodded and he walked out of the room and went back downstairs to stand and wait with Callie.
Once Mark was gone from the room, Derek looked at Addison. She seemed to be staring at a spot on the floor. She hadn't seemed to even notice that Derek was there.
"Addie?" Derek spoke softly.
Addison looked up when her ex husband used her nickname again. She had no idea what he was doing there. She hadn't even thought that he would want to return to the scene of the betrayal.
"Hi Der." Addison whispered.
Derek wasn't sure what to do, but he moved to stand beside Addison. Without another word, he pulled her into his arms and held her. He felt like she needed a hug right now. Addison was startled that Derek was hugging her but she wasn't about to complain. Derek always made her feel safe whereas Mark always made her feel sexy and desirable. Today, Addison wanted to feel safe more than feel sexy and desirable. Addison rested her head on Derek's shoulder and she cried. She hadn't cried in a long time and it wasn't just the end of her marriage that she was grieving. It was her inability to have children that she was also mourning.
"It's going to be okay Addie." Derek promised her softly.
"How?" Addison whispered back.
"I don't know how, I just know it will be." Derek told her softly. It was true. Derek had faith that everything would work out in the way it was supposed to.
Addison felt self conscious that she was resting her head on her ex husband's shoulder and crying. Derek was her ex husband for a reason. He had a girlfriend and Addison had to remember that. She wouldn't let herself get in the way of Derek and Meredith again, no matter how much she still loved her ex husband.
"Can we go downstairs now?" Addison asked softly. She was done with this room. She wanted to get out of it as soon as she could.
"Yes, let's go." Derek told her. Without realizing it, he took her hand in his and they headed towards the stairs. They went down the stairs together and Mark was the first one to notice their linked hands. He raised an eyebrow at Derek and commented,
"I didn't know it was that good of a talk."
Derek looked at Mark strangely until he looked down at his hand. His hand was still holding onto Addison's. Addison seemed to notice it at the same time. She dropped Derek's hand rather hastily as a blush rose in her cheeks.
"I want to go check out the kitchen." Callie announced. She was trying to break the awkwardness. Plus she had seen the way that Derek had looked at Addison and Callie was almost positive that he had never looked at Meredith like that.
"Let's do that." Addison agreed, hoping that her cheeks were no longer red.
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When the four of them entered the kitchen, Callie went first to the marble countertops. She ran her hand over them with a smile. She loved marble countertops. She wanted them in her kitchen when she got her own place. That reminded Callie that she really needed to start shopping for a house. She didn't want to raise the babies in an apartment with Cristina Yang as her roommate.
Mark too was realizing that he needed to get out of the hotel room. He didn't want his kids growing up in a hotel room. He promised himself that he would start the house hunting as soon as they got back to Seattle. When Mark caught sight of the island in the middle of the kitchen, he chuckled. He was remembering a particular moment involving Addison, Derek and that island.
"You two never quite learned the art of closing the door." Mark pointed out with a smirk crossing his lips. Callie was curious what Mark was talking about now.
"What happened Mark?" Callie demanded.
"Nothing happened Callie." Addison insisted, shooting Mark a look that told him to shut up.
"I walked in on Derek and Addison having sex on the island." Mark told Callie. Callie, whose hand had just landed on the island, shuddered and she took her hand right back off of the island.
"Mark, do you not know the meaning of discretion." Addison demanded with an icy glare in Mark's direction.
"Nope. Never did." Mark told her. Addison rolled her eyes and muttered,
"Why am I not surprised."
"Oh please, that's not as bad as Mama Shepherd walking in on you guys on the kitchen counter five years ago." Mark pointed out. Addison and Derek both turned crimson with Mark's words.
Callie was now laughing. She had never met Derek's mother, but she had a feeling that it would have been pretty humiliating to have Derek's mother walk in on them.
"Stop laughing Callie." Addison insisted with a glare. Callie tried to stop laughing and she made what she thought was a serious face.
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Over the next thirty minutes, they looked at the entire house. Callie thought it was beautiful and she honestly believed that Addison should not sell it. As they were climbing back into the car to head back to the hotel, Callie told Addison as much.
"Don't sell it Addie."
"I don't plan to. I'll use it when I come back to New York for a visit." Addison told Callie. Visiting New York had only made Addison realize how much she really missed it. She would never move back to New York, but she definitely wanted to visit more often.
"Good because I think the house is beautiful." Callie told Addison honestly.
"Addie was the decorator of the house." Derek told Callie from his seat in the front.
"Well Addie you have killer taste." Callie told Addison sincerely. Callie already knew that Addison had amazing fashion sense, but to see her house and realize how beautiful it was, made Callie realize that she wanted Addison to decorate her house when she bought one.
"Thanks Callie." Addison thanked her friend with a smile.
Visiting the brownstone had opened up a lot of memories for Addison and Derek and even for Mark, All three of them were glad that they had gone back to the house. They hadn't realized how much they all needed to be in there together until they were actually in there. They all felt like now they could truly move on and stop dwelling on the past.
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That night, the four of them were wandering back and forth between both rooms for awhile. None of them wanted to leave in the morning, but they knew that they had to get back to Seattle and LA. Callie and Mark were playing poker in their room and Derek was packing up his stuff in his and Addison's room. Addison was in the shower and she thought that Derek was over in Callie and Mark's room. When she stepped out of the shower, she realized that she had forgotten to grab a pair of panties before she had gotten into the shower. She was sure that no one was in her room so she stepped out of the bathroom completely naked.
"Addie! "Derek's stunned voice rang in her ear. Blood rushed to her cheeks and she grabbed a shirt to wrap around herself.
"I thought you were next door." Addison was too shocked to move even if that meant Derek got to ogle her body.
"I came in here to pack so I didn't have to do it tomorrow morning." Derek told her. He found it amusing that she had not run back into the bathroom yet.
"Stop looking at me." Addison ordered.
"You're beautiful. Besides we've seen each other naked before." Derek pointed out.
Addison blushed when Derek said that she was beautiful. Sometimes she didn't feel beautiful. Especially since Derek had left her for a younger woman.
"Exes don't see each other naked." Addison pointed out.
Derek smiled at her as he put down his folded shirts and walked over to her. He had no idea what had come over him this weekend, but suddenly he had visions of a future with Addison. He had chalked it up to them being back in New York together, but maybe there was something else going on. Addison's pulse was racing as Derek walked over to her. She had no idea what was going on. All she knew was that Derek was behaving like the man she had fallen in love with all those years ago.
All thoughts of Meredith were completely gone as Derek looked into the deep blue eyes of the first woman he had fallen in love with. He reached out and touched her cheek. Addison's eyes closed vas she relished the moment she was having with Derek. To him, Addison was a beautiful woman and Derek hadn't seen Addison so relaxed and calm in a long time. Addison's blue eyes scanned his face, trying to figure out what this was.
"Addie." Derek whispered softly, his hand still on her cheek.
"Yeah Der?" Addison whispered back.
"Kiss me." Derek whispered. He wanted nothing more than to touch his lips to hers right now.
Addison didn't want to be that woman. She didn't want to be the woman that took another woman's guy from her. Addison knew that she wanted to kiss him though and it was highly unlikely that Meredith would ever find out. Addison leaned in close to Derek's lips. She was so close to feeling his lips on hers…
"Hey, Addie, where's… Whoa Sorry. Didn't meant to interrupt." Mark spoke, interrupting Derek and Addison's moment. Mark had never been the king of great timing or anything. Mark backed out of the room instantly, but the moment was ruined. Derek and Addison looked at each other for another minute before they backed away.
"I should…Um go get some clothes on." Addison mumbled. She hated stumbling and saying "um" It wasn't proper speech.
"I should finish packing." Derek murmured as he turned back to his folded shirts.
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Meanwhile Callie was not happy with Mark. Mark had just told her what he had walked in on and Callie wanted to know why he hadn't knocked before he had gone in.
"How the hell was I supposed to know what was going on in there with those two?" Mark demanded.
"It's called being polite Mark." Callie snapped.
"I haven't been knocking all weekend and no one has complained," Mark protested.
"Oh shut up Mark. I am going to sleep." Callie growled angrily. She climbed into bed wearing her sweatpants and a t-shirt. She wasn't going to be talking to Mark the rest of the night. Mark knew this, but he also knew that he needed to sleep before their early flight tomorrow so he put on his sweatpants and climbed into bed.
"You touch me, you are dead." Callie threatened Mark with a glare. Mark had no doubt that Callie would make good on her threat so Mark kept his hands to himself. He quickly fell asleep with Callie turned away from him.
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Addison had changed into her t-shirt and red striped pants. She no longer cared what she wore to bed anymore. She knew that she was highly annoyed at Mark for ruining the moment with her and Derek. She wasn't sure if the moment had passed for good or if they would have another moment like that. Derek was planning to take his shower in the morning so she watched as he went into the bathroom to change. Addison wasn't sure what to say to him when he emerged from the bathroom.
Derek was so annoyed with Mark for ruining that almost kiss. He wanted to actually kiss her, but he also remembered that he had a girlfriend. He felt as though he had to do right by both Addison and Meredith. He was no longer sure that Meredith was the one that he wanted, but he knew that he had to give the relationship with Meredith a fair shot. It was only fair. He just hoped that Addison wasn't too disappointed. When he came out of the bathroom in sweatpants and his Columbia t-shirt he saw Addison sitting up in bed reading and his resolve not to make Addison the other woman definitely weakened. He got into bed beside Addison and smiled at her.
"I could kill Mark." Derek admitted.
Addison giggled because she too felt the same way. She wanted to strangle Mark for making the kiss not happen.
"Me too." Addison admitted sheepishly.
"I thought about it. A lot and I don't want to make you the other woman Addie. It's not fair to you." Derek told her softly. He hated rejecting her, but he knew, at least for now, that he needed to try and remain faithful to Meredith. She had never cheated on him and Derek knew that she deserved the same from him.
"You have Meredith." Addison whispered. She was heartbroken. She had honestly thought that Derek was saying that he wanted her and that he loved her. Instead she was losing to Meredith Grey again.
"I am sorry Addie." Derek told her sincerely.
"Don't talk to me Derek." Addison told him as she turned over so her back was facing Derek. She needed to get some sleep, but she doubted that it would come quickly after the emotional night she had had. After ten minutes, she heard Derek's steady breathing and Addison tried to go to sleep herself. It took her two hours to finally drift off to sleep.