Disclaimer: I do not own any of Marvel Characters depicted here. Their children and possible wives are all of my making, except Astrid, who is LuvaGoodMrE making! Seriously, guys, if you have not read Funny That Way, GO AND REAAAD!

N/A1: English is not my first language and I couldn't find any beta reader. If you are willing to help me, mail me.
Also, this is movieverse.

Synopsis:

One day, Sarah Rogers and her sister come back home to find it empty. And the Rogers weren't the only ones that went missing – apparently, all the other team members but Hulk are gone. When the kids are assembled, they find out that the only way to save their parents – and the world - is to overcome their differences and fight an evil that must be controlled.

"Fuck."
July Rogers (née Johnson) was not someone who cursed often. Okay, she did plenty of cursing, but not in front of the kids. Also, some situations had no better description than a fuck. This was one of them. One moment she was going back home for a forgotten document and in the other, she had a crazy alien person doing alien shit to her house and her dog. Of course Steve would not let her face a crazy alien on her own, but that made things worse. Soon, there were several alien people surrounding them and didn't actually matter how good she was with her spells or how strong he was, they got them.
She tried to get up, but felt so nauseated that had to breathe deeply not to throw up.

"Steve?" She called out, but no answer came back.

"He's not here. It's just us, girls."
She could recognize the voice from under water. Jane Foster was Thor's wife and, more importantly, one of the astrophysics that helped her when she needed to trace the origins of the alien artifacts that fell into her hands.

"Jane?"

"And Pepper. And Darcy. And Natasha too." She answered. "But the former three are asleep."

"No boys allowed at the tree house, hum?" July said with a wry humor. "Betty is not with us?"

"No."

"So these alien cunts are smart. Better not anger The Hulk. Let's just kidnap fucking earth's mightiest heroes and see if they pull up a fight."

"I must assume you had time to pull up a fight. I was sleeping. And also, you are bleeding."
July opened her eyes and tried to adjust them to the bright light. Jane Foster had just had her eleventh kid or something, wasn't it? Wasn't she supposed to be at home taking care of the baby?

She turned her head and saw the brunette laying against a wall, with red eyes and a night robe. Oh, god. How long was she there? How were her kids? How was Jane's baby?

This time, she fought the dizziness and managed to sit. They were in a stone room and the other women where lying in different positions on the ground. Darcy Lewis was the closest one, wearing a green silk thing (July wasn't quite sure how to call that undergarment) with the serenity of a sleeping baby. Pepper was near her, dressed up with a three-piece suit and Natasha was near Jane, in her signature cat suit.

"Are we in a magic cell?" The question would sound dumb in everyone's mouth but July's. She was, after all, Doctor Strange student and a specialist in peculiar technology (which was the scientist-friendly way of saying magic).

"I don't know. You are still bleeding, you know? In your head."

"Well, you should see the other guy." July found the wound without any difficulty, stripping her jacket and putting the fabric on it to stop the bleeding. "Bloody hell, I should have accepted the helmet when Thor offered me one."

"I think that they might be with our husbands and friends in another cell. Thor was taken along with me."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because if he wasn't, he'd have saved me already"

Oh, girl. July could never ever understand how Jane and Darcy had married gods. Honest to good gods. Yeah, she had fun talking about magic with Loki and studying the mjonir, but that was all. They were all so bossy and mighty and talked like really old people. Okay, she was the one married to a hundred and something year old soldier, but Steve was different.

"And our kids?"

"I don't know. I don't think so." Jane answered with a whisper.

"Sarah will take care of everything." July said, certain. "As soon as they realize we are missing, they'll follow protocol and go to S.H.I.E.L.D for protection. They are a bunch of smart kids, we don't need to worry."

"I have a six month baby at home, July. And your kids are responsible, but mine? They are Viking demi-gods. They'll probably just trash the house thinking we took a trip to Asgard."

"Well, we must do something then." Her head was throbbing, but she managed enough strength to stand up and put her ear close to the stone. "I might have to do a spell or two. Will it bother you?"

"I am sister-in-law with Loki. No spell you cast will ever bother me."
That wasn't true, but July didn't want to argue. Her head throbbed like hell and she kept thinking in the worst possibilities: what if they had their kids? What if they had killed Steve? What if they had killed Steve and the kids? She would kill them all if it were the case, even if it killed her.

With that in mind, she drew strange symbols on the stone with one bloody finger, whispering strange words that Loki taught her. She knew better than to use his spells, but desperate times needed desperate measures.

Normally, one spell like that would take a lot of energy from her to happen. The one she was using was supposed to reveal all hidden doors and open them to her, which took a lot from a normal human like her. Only after some seconds that she realized that the dizziness she was feeling was more from her head injury than from the magic.

It didn't work. It didn't work.

"It's leviOsa, not levioSA, Weasley." The mocking tone of Darcy Lewis startled her.

"Oh, you decided to wake up. Jane, please, hit her again so she can shut the fuck up."

"July!" Jane said in a horrified tone.

"All right, I forgot you actually like her non-sense babbling. At least try to wake up Pepper, okay? She'll help to save us." More than you, she wanted to say, but held her tongue.

"Why are we panicking? You only get bossy when you are panicking." Darcy sounded surprised. "Loki is probably on his way to save me, so he'll save all of us."

"Do you think that if this was the case, he wouldn't be here already?"
The expressions on Darcy's face were hilarious as she linked all the last happenings with the place they were. She looked from Natasha and Pepper to Jane and, at least, to July. Both women didn't really get along, mainly because Darcy decided it was incredible funny calling the other woman a Weasley (just because she was ginger, British and worked with magic) and making fun of every single thing in the face of earth. July was yet to understand how the fuck had Loki married such an annoying woman and how she could be the mother of a girl as brilliant as Astrid.

"Oh my Loki." Darcy whispered, leaning against a wall. "We were kidnapped?"

July sat down, doing her best not to scream at the girl. Jane nodded as a response.

"Fuck."

That was precisely the only word possible to describe their situation.

"It's no use, Thor. You have already hammered that fucking wall seventy times now and none of them made any difference."

"Let him, it's amusing."

"Thor, you'll end up hurting yourself. Let's think this straight and make a plan."

"They have my wife! My wife! They should not have messed with the God of Thunder!" And BAM, his hammer was on the wall again. "Jane! Jane! Are you listening to me?"

"Please, someone could just knock him out? Just for a second. I think I have a headache."

"I'll talk to him."

"There you go, Steve. Yay. America saves us all again."

"Don't mock me, Stark."

"I'm not. I am just cheering you, Caps." Steve gave him the look and Tony shrugged. "Okay, mom. I'm sorry."

"I could just shot him. He wouldn't die."

"Clint, we can't shot him. He'll go berserk."

"And then we would really have a problem. So, I'm going there. Wish me luck."

They all watched with awe as Steve approached Thor. Caps put a hand on his shoulder and Thor immediately stopped to listen to his soothing tone. Tony often told Bruce that Steve could probably put Hulk to sleep, but Bruce wasn't willing to try. He was great with babies, though, and many times in the past he and Pepper had called him desperately in the middle of the night for aid.

"So, what's your theory?" Clint asked Tony.

"Theory?"

"Yeah, we were pretty much snatched from where we stood by a bunch of aliens, I'm sure you have a theory. Aren't you the genius?"

"I have one." Loki said, from the corner of the room. He got up and walked near one wall, glancing to where Steve still tried to put reason into Thor.

"Oh, yeah?" Clint said ironically. "Can you share it with us, mortals?"

"Nah, let's see how close to it your mortal minds can take you. Tony should be able to figure it out." Loki looked at Tony with a lopsided smile. "But I feel obliged to tell you that this cage limits both my power and Thor's. We are like you inside here, unable to perform any of our magic."

"A cage that weakens gods." Tony said, a little bit surprised. "Why does this sound familiar?"

Loki's grin widened a bit and he walked slowly to where Thor was. He said something to his brother and Steve and both of them looked to where Tony sat side by side with Clint.
What all of them had in common? Apart from being linked to S.H.I.E.L.D and the Avengers? Somehow, he felt that this kidnap didn't have anything to do with their Super-Hero organization. Maybe something he was studying, but what?

"You are really slow today, Stark."

"Shut up, Loki."

"But you're getting close."

Was he? It must have to do with the place they were, that annulled both Loki's and Thor's power or Loki wouldn't have told them that. And then, it hit him like a train.

"Holy mother of-"

"Ah, there it is. I knew you would make it."

"What? What is it?" Clint was the only one that was lost.

"It's the scepter. " Steve said, liking his lips thoughtfully. "The alien one we found last month."

"We are inside the scepter?"

"No, Hawk Man. They want the scepter back, so they kidnap us to blackmail S.H.I.E.L.D." Thor said. "I believe they couldn't find it on their own."

"It's because it's locked in Nick Fury's ass."

"Tony."

"I'm not lying. It's true. Ask your wife."

"I'm not discussing this nonsense again with both of you."

"Please, don't start it now. We need to get out. Make a plan, Caps."

Steve looked at Clint then at the other man. Loki shrugged, as if he could do nothing. Tony crossed his arms and Thor put the mjonir on the floor.

"We wait."

"What!"

"You heard me. We wait. They'll figure something out."

"Who exactly is 'they'? S.H.I.E.L.D? They have plenty of super-heroes on earth willing to fill our shoes."

"Our kids."

"Those kids that almost blew up half of Asgard last summer for fun?"

Captain America just nodded, trying not to think about the part his twins played on that prank.

"We are so dead."

N/A2: So, this keeps getting bigger. I'll try to update it every Monday! Hope you like it.

Also, go read Young Avengers. I know this is completely unrelated, but it's AWESOME (And has a lot to do with what I'm going to do here).
I'm also working on an explanation on how Captain got married.