13

Alex gently woke up Piper and said she was going to get a nurse to help her breastfeed, after their son innately started rooting against her own chest. The nurse unwrapped him down to his diaper and explained how to properly support his neck and how his belly should always be against hers to ensure a proper latch. It took a few tries but Alex looked on in awe as their son finally latched on and looked wide eyed at Piper.

"This feels really weird," Piper looked down at Jamie as he chomped away.

"You make your own food, it's pretty fricken cool," she said to Piper while she stroked her son's cheek causing him to break his latch and turn his head toward her.

"Ow," Piper yelled as their son popped off taking her with him, as he looked for Alex's touch, she shoved her wife.

"Sorry, how was I supposed to know he was going to do that?"

"It's a reflex, they turn their face to know where to get milk," the older nurse explained to them.

Alex stroked his other cheek and he turned and opened his mouth, "cool!" She stroked his cheek again, laughing, and Piper tried to angle herself so he could get back on.

"He's so smart," she said in a baby voice, looking over him in adoration. She shoved a pillow under Piper's elbow when she said he was getting heavy. She kissed Piper and pulled her long hair back into a sweaty messy bun.

"He stopped," Piper said looking down at their baby who looked restfully content. She broke his latch with her finger and handed him to Alex, "try to burp him." The nurse helped Alex adjust him next to her shoulder as she awkwardly held their son against her chest and patted his back softly.

"How do we know if he's full?" she asked the nurse as her son burped near her ear. She pulled him back slightly and looked him curiously.

"There's lots of ways, falling asleep during a feeding is the most common. If they stay sleeping when you try to break their latch and they don't wake up and start rooting around again is another way to tell. The amount of wet diapers. You should try offering him the other side after he burps, if he's still hungry he'll latch on again, if he's not just start with that side next time. You should keep a log though until your mature milk comes in so you don't forget. When it comes in, trust me, your body will tell you what side was last," she says laughing.

Alex looks to her to help pass their son back to Piper, "you do it, just support his head, you can be a little rough with him, especially now, he looks pretty zonked out." Alex holds him against her chest while leaning her knee into the bed and puts him against Piper. She gets up to use the bathroom.

"Sorry we have so many questions," Piper says to the nurse as she tries to see if she can wake up her son to latch onto the opposite side.

"You're supposed to ask, you're both very eager, it's good, anything that comes to mind, just ask." Piper tickled her baby's cheeks but James was happily in a milk coma and showed no interest, so she laid him back against her skin and covered his back with her sheets.

Alex returned and the nurse handed her a little blue bowl and asked her if she wanted to help her give him his first bath when Alex froze as another woman screamed from another room, "well if she just did that, I guess I could handle a bath," she said pointing to Piper.

"Exactly, if you said no, I was going to give you that guilt trip, so good answer," replied the nurse.

Alex filled the blue bowl with water and winked at Piper as she stuck her elbow in it. The nurse stared at her as she removed her giant elbow from the blue bowl, "she told me I had to check the water, when I almost cooked our nephew a few weeks ago."

"She's right, the hospital water doesn't get that hot though, but good practice." She explained to Alex that it was important to have everything you need ready before getting them wet to minimalize the time they were exposed to cold air. She brought their baby over to the scale and weighed him, "seven pounds, fourteen ounces, close to eight, where'd you hide him? I thought for sure he was going to be a peanut, s'probably cause you're tall."

Piper looked down at her deflated mush of skin and sighed, "yeah he felt like the full eight, give me some credit here!"

Alex took a picture of their baby on the scale, before the nurse moved him under the warmer and removed his diaper. She explained it was best to give them a bed bath until the stump from the umbilical cord fell off. Alex took mental notes and watched as she wiped his skin gently while keeping the rest of his body covered and warm. The nurse passed her the cloth and she repeated the motions on the other side of his body until everything except his head was cleaned. She taught her how to swaddle him, while Piper told her to pay attention so she could show her later as she rested sleepily in the bed. After he was swaddled, they moved into the bathroom and the nurse held him like a football under her arm and let the water run over his head. His eyes opened and he looked around, "most baby's love this, we think the sound of the water makes them feel like they're still inside." She pumped some soap on a bristled brush and started scrubbing his head hard,

"Hey isn't that gonna hurt him?," Alex asked her alarmed at the amount of elbow she was putting behind her scrubs.

"Nope, I told you, you can be a little rough with them. The bristles are soft see," she scrubbed Alex's forearm, "you try."

She had Alex press her hips against the sink and nestled the baby between her hip and her arm. Alex scrubbed his head softly and glared at the nurse, "great and like that your kid is going to have the dirtiest head in school." She put more force behind Alex's hand, "did he seem distressed when I was doing it? he's fine," she removed her hand as Alex scrubbed a little harder and made sure she got behind the folds of his neck.

"Great now just rinse his head and we'll dry him off and get him a hat," she said as she walked out into the room and riffled around looking for the pink and blue, hospital issued striped hat. Alex dipped his head under the water and helped smooth the soap of his hair, he alertly looked around and seemed calm but she start to cry. The nurse walked back in and watched Alex's shoulders shaking as the newborn licked the water trailing down his lips.

"What happened?," she asked as she lifted the baby away from Alex and dried his head.

"I don't know what I'm doing," she choked out quietly as she didn't want Piper to hear her.

"He doesn't know that," she whispered, still tousling his little head. "You're both doing fine. He's eaten and now he's clean, those are two major things under your belt." She passed him back to Alex gently. "You're here for two days, ring the bell with every feeding until she feels confident and you ask for help with anything that you're not comfortable doing on your own yet. The more you hold him, the more normal it feels, he looks very happy," she said as she sat Alex down in the rocker beside her sleeping patient. She sat on the edge of Piper's bed next to Alex's foot that pushed off gently to get the rocker moving.

She watched as Alex gazed into her son's face, "the trick is to learn their cue's for hunger before they get to starvation mode. You're gonna miss it sometimes and they'll wail and you'll get frustrated but it'll get better with time. Most of them only cry when they're hungry, or wet and some just like to be held. We'll go over things with you while you're here and send you home with it all written down and phone numbers if you need more support."

Alex looked up at her gratefully and then looked back down at her son. "He's so small," she said as she gently bounced him in her arms, "his hair looks lighter than it did at first."

"You mean when it was all covered in birthy junk? Yeah, good thing you scrubbed his head so well," she shoved her knee lightly and stood up. "Honestly, he's in capable hands. It's refreshing to see a planned delivery with two parents who are so enthusiastic to learn. Just press the button if you need me, I'm right outside," she said and walked out pumping a dollop of alcohol soap and rubs her hands.

Alex just stares at Jamie perfectly still in her arms, and wonders at all of his innocence, taking in the surrealistic feeling of how this tiny person was the same Mookie that danced and wiggled all throughout those nights. She glanced over at Piper who looked completely exhausted and felt beside herself with love. She held him for hours until out of nowhere his little face wiggled and she felt his body try to scrunch up underneath the tight swaddle. She carried him over and sat with him on Piper's bed as she tried to wake her up. Piper blinked hard a few times until Alex and Jamie came into view and she smiled widely as he whimpered.

"I think he's hungry again," she said placing him on the bed, as Piper undid the top of her gown. She unwrapped him from his blankets, and with slightly more sure hands placed him against Piper's skin.

"Thanks," she said, "how long was I sleeping for?"

"I don't know, maybe two hours?"

"That was like the most solid nap ever," she said with sleep in her voice, as she adjusted the pillows around her sides and tried to figure out how to this on the opposite side. She tickled his lips until he opened his mouth wide and shoved him on, watching his jaw to make sure he was on correctly.

"Can you call my parents? I don't know where my phone is."

"It's like three in the morning, you don't think we should wait?"

"Absolutely not, wake them up." Alex dialed her in-laws and anxiously waited for someone to pick up when she heard Piper's mother answer groggily through the phone,

"Hello?"

"Hey Carol, good morning."

"Alex?," she said concerned, "is everything alright?"

"Yeah, someone wants to say hi...," she held the phone to Piper's ear.

"He's hereeee," she told her mom softly.

"Who's here?"

"Your grandson?"

"You had him? I have a grandson?! Bill wake up, Piper had her baby."

"Yup, last night, we barely made it to the hospital," she apologetically looked up at Alex and mouthed "sorry."

"Everything went alright? You're all fine?"

"Yeah everything went great, he's perfect, 7 pounds 14 ounces, I'm feeding him right now."

"Oh Piper, I'm so happy for you. Does he have a name?"

"We named him James, after James and the Giant Peach and a couple of other things," she said smiling as she caressed Jamie's head.

"You read that book a hundred times as a kid," she said remembering a little Piper drooling over her Roald Dahl collection.

She asked her about visiting hours and offered to help them get settled at home as Piper turned down the offer and said they would be alright. Alex shook her head, "hang on mom," Alex muted the phone, "she should come and help."

"We'll be okay, if we need help we can call her."

"I think we should take her up on it, so we can adjust. When we leave here were gonna be on our own," she said with a slight worry in her voice, "just for a few days."

Piper accepted the offer, eventually hanging up and peered at Alex, "she's going to drive us crazy."

"So what, we're lucky to have her." Piper looked at Alex shutting her mouth instantly and nodded quickly. She looked down at her son who seemed satiated once again and burped him while he lay against her chest. She laid him down between her legs and Alex tried to her best to show her how to swaddle him. It wasn't as good as when the nurse did it, but she accepted it as their son continued to remain still.

She sent a text to Nicky and reserved their rest of their phone list aside for the morning.

The next morning Alex rocked her son in the rocker, while Piper was examined to make sure she was healing well.

"C'mere, feel this, it's so gross."

She stood up with her son cradled in one arm and rubbed her hand among the soft excess skin of Piper's abdomen, she could feel her uterus underneath her skin. "I mean I'm glad it's shrinking but now it's kind of just in the way, and it's not as fun when he's not in it."

"Thanks for the hands on experience babe," Alex retorted as she passed Piper their baby.

"What's for lunch ma?," Nicky's voice came booming through the room startling both Piper and Alex.

"Holy shit," she whispered bringing a hand to her mouth, "I can't believe he's here." She walked over toward Piper and went to touch his head when Alex stood up, "go wash your hands!," she yelled before she could touch him.

"Okay," she pulled her hand back and tossed the little gift bag she brought at the brunette, "Jesus Vause, you say it like I'm a walking disease," she kissed Piper on the cheek, "congratulations," she mumbled, "way to make this one even more of a pain in the ass than she already was."

"Yeah well I don't know where your hands have been," Alex said seriously. Piper broke her son's latch and gave him to Alex nodding her head approvingly, glad that her wife was anal enough for the both of them.

Alex sat back in the rocker, alternating between back strokes and pats, when Nicky turned around and caught her breath, seeing Alex hold the small baby against her body. Her eyes started to well up, "this isn't fucking normal, he's just another person," she said annoyed at her body's reaction to Piper and Alex's son.

"Okay, were gonna need to do something about the language situation," Piper said looking at both Alex and Nicky.

Alex stood up to let her sit down while she placed him in her best friend's arms.

"He doesn't understand me yet, I need time to break the habit."

"Well practice, Finn's coming with Polly in a bit for children's hours."

Alex looked at Nicky holding her baby, hair all disheveled, nose all mucousy, and handed her a tissue, "I can't believe they let you in here, where the hell is security?"

"He's seriously beautiful you guys," Nicky said as Alex took a picture. She handed the gift bag over to Piper and she withdrew a little onesie that said "got milk?"

"Thanks Nicky," Piper laughed, "will you be okay holding him for a while, so I can shower?"

"Yeah, if he tells me anything riveting I know where to find ya."

Piper eased off the bed, hissing at the soreness as Alex helped her in the bathroom. She got Piper into the shower and got her fresh clothes and toiletries from her bag and set them up for her in the bathroom.

She came back out to sit near Nicky. Nicky looked up at her and shook her head in awe, "I know, you don't have to say anything," Alex replied to the silent commentary.

"How'd she do with everything?"

"She was ridiculous!," she said aloud with wide eyes and snacked on Piper's stale leftovers from her breakfast tray. "She was so strong, I was getting ready to lose it though, she didn't want to come to the hospital. I was so relieved when Polly came and helped us get to the hospital, and then once we were here and they opened up the tray and had her start pushing, I felt my ears ringing and got really hot, I really thought I was going to faint. It's such a blur."

"Sounds crazy," Nicky said making a bizarre face at a now awake Jamie.

"Nicky it was the coolest feeling ever to see him come up onto her chest. I was holding him last night and it's so weird to me that it's the same person I've gotten to know all this time, like even though it was more abstract before, I can't describe it."

She walked back and forth from the bathroom to the bag to get Piper's lotion and things that made her feel more like herself. She helped her tuck an ice pack into her sexy post-partum panties and got her settled back into bed.

"My ass is killing me," she said as slowly sat down, "but I feel so much better after that shower." She reached over toward Nicky, "can I have him back so he doesn't think I smell like that all the time?"

Alex brought him over to Piper as Finn and Polly joined the crowd.

"Pippy! I brought you this!," he said loudly, excitedly. Polly lifted him and told him to whisper.

"Look Finn," Polly held him close on her hip and pointed to her new nephew, "that's Jamie." Alex came over and smeared the alcohol soap into both Finn and Polly's hands.

"Jamie and Mookie is the same?"

"I know, right kid?," Alex said astonished, "he totally gets it!"

"Yeah Finn, remember when we didn't know if Mookie was a boy or a girl? Well he's a boy baby, we named him Jamie," Piper explained to him.

He nodded, showing that he understood. Alex took him from Polly, as the soap dripped from his hands, and sat him next to Piper in the bed; he stretched his neck to see the baby. He handed the bag to Alex and rubbed his hands together copying his mother and Piper placed her son into Finn's arms. Finn held one arm around his torso and patted his head with other as Alex stood by, "he's a nice baby."

Piper pulled the tissue paper off the top of the gift bag and pulled out multiple blocks of wood.

"We did it this morning," Finn said as she continued to pull out the wooden letters covered in assorted wrapping paper that spelled out "James."

"It's the paper from your shower gifts," Polly explained to her, "you would've gotten them sooner but I didn't have a name until last night. You can hang them on the wall from here," she let a letter hang from her index finger by a piece of shiny satin ribbon.

"Thanks you guys, no more though, you've done enough," she kissed the top of Finn's head and hugged Polly, "he's already spoiled!"

"Yeah right, what about you with Finn all these years. I can finally stuff a kid full of sugar and not have to deal with the aftermath and I fully plan on reaping those benefits. Can I please hold him Finn, I haven't gotten a chance to yet?"

He nodded and she lifted him up from her son and swayed with him back and forth, smelling his head, "ugh I forgot what this feels like. Whenever you need a break, please let me know, I mean I'll be over plenty, but if you ever just need an afternoon to sleep or something, I'll be more than glad to take this mush off your hands for a few hours."

"Thanks Polly," Alex said, "actually I need to go figure out the car seat, you want to come with me?," she said toward Nicky.

"Yeah Vause," she said as she stood up from the rocking chair and rubbed Jamie's ear softly. Like a revolving door as Alex and Nicky walked out, minutes later Piper's parents walked in. The grandparents immediately started gushing over their grandchild. After a while, Piper texted Alex to stay by the apartment to help get her parents up to their apartment. After many violent shakes of the car seat by both her and Nicky they were satisfied that it was securely in place and they waited for Piper's parents. Nicky said her goodbyes and congrats as Alex helped them with their luggage up to their apartment and helped them settle in. She made sure they knew how to use the remote and showed them their takeout drawer and went back to the hospital to be with her new family. She could hear Jamie's wails from down the hall, as Piper was changing him on the bed. She put on a fresh diaper but he still cried.

Alex lifted him up off the bed, "alright baby, are you tired of being passed around like a hot potato all day?, I know..., but you have to get used it, everyone's happy to meet you," he started to settle to Alex's coos, as Piper chucked the wet breast pad from her bra, "I think I waited too long to feed him, poor thing," she moved things around the bed, overwhelmed.

"It's okay Pipes, he's okay, just get comfortable," she said as she bounced with him in place. She nodded and took him from Alex, he thrashed his hand around frustrated until she got him to calmly settle against her chest and finally nursed. She exhaled relieved at the silence, "did my parents get up okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, they're watching reruns, 'Oh that Jerry Seinfeld,' she said imitating Carol Chapman, "I left them with some take out menu's and gave them fresh towels."

"Great, thank you so much," she sighed, "I'm so tired."

"Well the nurse said we should try to sleep when he sleeps, so after this lets try to get some rest." They settled him in the plastic bassinet beside the bed.

The next afternoon Piper and Jamie were discharged from the hospital. Alex brought up the carrier from the car seat while Piper wrapped him in layers upon layers of clothing and blankets. Alex could barely see his face when she saw the fluff of material around their baby.

"This one's ours right? Cause I can't see him Pipes."

"You said it was freezing out!"

Alex set him into the carrier and strapped him in, buckling him in. She slipped the strap of their overnight bag over her chest and looked around the room as Piper got her coat on, "all good?"

"Mmmhmm, lets go home!," she said cooing at her baby, while Alex lifted the carrier off the bed and headed down to their car. She opened the back door, while Piper got in on the other side, and snapped the carrier into the holder. She put another blanket over the straps as Piper put on her seatbelt and pushed the top piece of the carrier back so she could see his face. Alex kissed his nose and got into the driver's side and pulled away.

It was a 3 block drive from the hospital to their apartment and she was thankful for the short distance as she was a nervous wreck. She looked through the rearview mirror before changing lanes to make a turn and caught Piper leaning over the carrier and nuzzling their baby. Her vision blurred and she pulled over.

"What happened, did we forget something at the hospital?"

"Yeah, my balls," she turned her head around toward Piper sniffling.

"What is it?," she reached over wiping the lone tear that streamed over Alex's cheek.

"I'm not used to looking back there and seeing you both in the mirror. It just hits me in waves. He's okay?"

Piper rubbed at her neck, "yeah he's fine. Are you? Just take a second." Alex nodded and looked up letting her eyes dry up, "okay onward."

She parked and got their bag and Jamie out of the car and slowly made their way upstairs. They set him down in his carrier on the floor of their apartment and undressed out of their winter clothes. She unbundled Jamie from the ridiculous amounts of layers they burritoed him in and lifted him up to Piper.

Piper carried him slowly as they walked through all the rooms giving him a tour and stopping lastly in the dim light of his nursery, "welcome home, baby."