SEVEN
Maria had never seen such a beautiful room in her life. Light shimmered around every surface and the floor was so highly polished that she could almost see her own reflection. She had the whole splendid room to herself as well - everyone else was busy donning their party clothes in preparation for the guests' arrival, and the younger children were taking a nap so they could stay up late to watch the dancing.
As she walked into the centre of the room, Maria could not help but think back to the first time she had been in there - her only company a pair of dust-coated chandeliers. She smiled. The transformation to the ballroom was as spectacular as the transformation in its owner.
He was not in there though, she checked carefully. Once satisfied that she was completely alone, with only the instruments and tables for company, she decided to indulge herself. After all, she would most certainly not be dancing at the party, and it was highly unlikely that she would ever have the good fortune to be in such an impressive setting again. Ballrooms were almost surely off limits to the sisters of Nonnberg abbey.
"And most likely the postulants too," her conscience reminded her as she dropped into a curtsey. Still, what did it matter if she indulged in the fantasy for a moment? It was not as though she were dancing with an actual man - just a vague, indistinct silhouette of one, his only feature that he was slightly taller than she was. She turned gracefully around, her imaginary partner leading her into the waltz as she imagined music filling the ballroom. She hummed along to herself, thinking how wonderful it would be to glide across the dance floor with the other couples.
"Must I always find you in here with an invisible dance partner, Fraulein?"
She jumped slightly, startled. How had he managed to creep up on her so successfully? It was as though he had an innate sense of when she was doing something she really ought not to be. Fortunately, however, his tone this time was entirely good-natured and she span around to meet his smile.
He was dressed impeccably for the party in a long dark tail-coat and elegantly pressed white shirt and waistcoat. With the medal of the Maria-Theresa cross clipped around his neck he suddenly looked every bit the sea Captain.
"That was really quite good," he complimented her and she turned away slightly to try and hide the redness in her cheeks, "I did not know that dancing was a skill one could acquire in our famous Nonnberg convent!"
She laughed slightly, still embarrassed.
"Actually, I'm sure the sisters would heartily disapprove, Captain," she answered him, "I learned some dances when I was at school in Vienna."
"Ah ha," he nodded in understanding, moving out of the doorway and further into the room, "And is the waltz your favourite, Fraulein?"
He was teasing her, but she did not know quite why.
"Not really," she replied carefully, "I prefer some of the traditional folk songs actually, but a waltz felt more appropriate in here."
He nodded, "It can be a very lovely pastime. With the right partner of course."
A wistful, rather solemn expression suddenly crossed his face and she wondered if he was thinking of his wife.
"Oh I wouldn't know, Captain," she answered briskly, bringing his attention back to her, "The few people I danced with at school were most definitely inferior to my partner now..." he frowned slightly, "At least invisible people do not have heavy feet!"
He laughed along with her.
A few seconds later awkwardness had settled over them again. The same pattern had been repeating all day – moments of gaiety would suddenly end with them both staring down at their feet or over each other's shoulders, clumsily trying to avoid one another's gaze until something would inevitably interrupt them. And with caterers, delivery men, rehearsing musicians, and of course the seven Von Trapp children underfoot, those interruptions had been far too frequent for Georg's liking. He wanted to talk to her – to have a proper conversation about what had happened the previous evening, only it was very difficult to begin such a discussion when they were certain to be disturbed within minutes.
Now was his last chance before the ball, he decided as he watched her stare up at the ceiling, and he was determined to clear the air between them. Steiner's question - of whether her opinion of him had altered - had been ringing in his ears all day. He could hardly blame her if it had, he considered regretfully, but for some reason he felt compelled to find out, and to reassure her that he was now a much wiser, prudent, and altogether better man than in his youth. The fact that he had not been able to find time to do so, and that their easy manner did seem to have subtly altered, had been worrying him all day.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?"
Her eyes widened at his question.
"Well of course, Captain," she answered, "If it's about the children's performance this evening then-"
"No, no," he interrupted her, gesturing for her to follow him as he led the way out of the ballroom, "It's not about that it's… well it's… oh I'll tell you outside!"
He finished very inarticulately, pushing open the back door onto the terrace with a rather desperate shrug.
She met his gaze, her eyes innocently questioning, and he suddenly felt a beat of recognition, as though he had seen her looking at him like that in some other context… one that he could not remember clearly at all.
He shook his head.
"After you," he motioned her through the door before quickly and rather guiltily scanning the foyer. For the first time all day there was nobody there – his staff were taking an early supper in the kitchen, Elsa and Max were apparently still preparing themselves for the party, and the children seemed to have finally given up with their indomitable dancing practise on the stairs. Yes, quite perfect; he decided as he pulled the door closed behind them – he could finally spend a moment alone with Maria without interruption.
He did not begin speaking until they had reached the lakeside, and even then the words he been carefully rehearsing all day seemed to suddenly elude him.
"Fraulein… I uh… I wanted to speak with you about uh…" he cleared his throat, cursing his uncharacteristic awkwardness, "That is… I think I owe you an apology," the words finally came out in a tremendous rush as he turned to face her, "For Lieutenant Steiner-"
"Oh, you don't need to apologise for him, Captain!" she interrupted, "He did not offend me and I-"
"And for myself..." he added quickly, determined that she would not forgive him so easily.
She frowned.
"Fraulein..." he was not sure quite what to say and looked away from her and across the lake, "I have done some things in my life that I am not proud of and-"
He was amazed to hear her laugh.
"Captain you do not need to explain yourself to me."
If another woman had said such words to him then he might have thought them rather disingenuous, but he knew too much of Maria's honesty and sincerity to believe that of her. And she was right too. He knew that he did not need to explain himself - to her, or to anyone. Steiner's story was so far in his past now that he had almost forgotten it.
"Nevertheless, I… uh… well certainly no one could make a saint out of me, Fraulein, but I very much regret that night," he clenched his hands over the railing, finding the water much easier to speak to than his companion, "And I uh… well after I met Agathe I realised that the lifestyle I had uh… enjoyed," he cleared his throat awkwardly, "Was a pale shadow of what I could have… I mean with someone I loved…" he suddenly chuckled, rolling his eyes, "I really am not that bad, Fraulein and I wouldn't want you to think so!"
He finished so desperately that it was almost comical.
"I'm sorry – I don't seem to be making much sense this evening, do I?" he continued a beat later, embarrassed that she had not made any sort of reply.
He finally turned back towards her and swallowed hard at the look on her face.
Pure unadulterated affection shone from her eyes, perhaps even adoration, though once again he told himself that he was seeing something in her that was not there.
"As I told the Lieutenant," she answered him slowly, "There is nothing he could say to me which will change any of my opinions..." she paused, "Especially not my opinion of you."
Her words were perfectly true as well. As reprehensible as his actions had surely been, she would be a conceited individual indeed to proclaim it possible to go through life without making any mistakes at all. And she was absolutely certain that he was beyond any such behaviour now – the look on his face during the conversation the previous evening had told her volumes about the man he was now. No, Georg Von Trapp was the most honourable, brave and good man that she knew, and she was sure that she would never meet another like him, as long as she lived.
Georg felt his heart soar as she finished hurriedly, looking away over the lake as though she herself was now embarrassed. She was completely and utterly remarkable, he decided.
"Thank you," he whispered softly, letting out the breath he had hardly realised he was holding.
They stood in silence for a few seconds, both afraid of the sudden closeness which seemed to have formed between them.
Georg was surprised when Maria finally spoke again.
"And you did give me fair warning yesterday afternoon, Captain!" she reminded him, her tone suddenly light-hearted.
He took her bait, so relieved and delighted that she would still tease him that he responded - he would curse himself later - with rather too much enthusiasm.
"Yes, indeed, Fraulein!" he replied, "I suppose it was one of those moments in my youth when... how did you put it?" he paused, as though he had forgotten. "Ah yes, 'when the good Lord does not make it so easy for us to resist those temptations'..." he was rewarded with a shy smile.
Silence fell for a moment again as both of them remembered what had almost happened just after that conversation had taken place.
Should he mention it? Apologise for the… insanity, madness, heat-induced lunacy, which he had now told himself a thousand times must have been the cause of it…?
Or would mentioning it just bring to light a whole number of much deeper concerns – concerns which he would not even dare to think about yet, let alone speak of?
"I apologise for intruding upon your evening yesterday, Captain," Maria mercifully interrupted his thoughts before he could persuade himself into another round of apology, "It was inappropriate for me to be there and-"
"It was not inappropriate Fraulein!" he must have sounded angrier than he had intended as she flinched slightly, "I'm very glad you were there…. I detest gossip," he went on a minute later, "The pretention of society... the mannerisms which we must affect with each other... it's all an illusion."
"Elsa thrives on it," he went on, "But I think I would be much happier taking a boat out there on the lake," he pointed across the water, "With just the children and... and the people who matter the most."
He had almost said her.
He shrugged slightly, embarrassed again when she did not reply; "Does that surprise you, Fraulein?" he prompted her.
"No, no!" she replied hurriedly, as though she had been lost in thought, "I know exactly what you mean, Captain. I would often go up to the mountains - just to be by myself and pray... I think it's the only way you can really come to know yourself."
He nodded - she really did understand then.
"Anyway, Fraulein," he said after another pause, "Despite Christoph's revelations of my uh… reprehensible behaviour…" he regarded her out of the corner of his eye, still nervous that she would suddenly decide that their… friendship?… professional relationship?… whatever exactly it was between them, was no longer to her liking, "… I was very glad that you were there - you reminded me of that."
She felt herself blushing and turned away slightly, hoping that he would not see.
"And I'm relieved that you showed better judgement than my eldest daughter," he continued a few moments later, "And did not fall for the dear Lieutenant's charms...!" she laughed with him.
"Not at all, Captain," she replied, "Forgive me for being outspoken-"
"O-ho! I think we would have fallen out long ago if I couldn't manage that Fraulein!"
She glared at him, resisting the temptation to slap him on the arm before continuing, "Anyway, I must say, I agree whole-heartedly with your earlier assessment of Lieutenant Steiner, and I am sure that Liesl would too, if she had gotten to know him. I wonder that any woman-"
"O-ho!" he laughed again, interrupting her, "I'm sure there are only a few women who would agree with you there, Fraulein! He has a reputation for being quite the charmer."
She laughed. "Well I suppose as you said earlier Captain, dreamy eyes and gorgeous smiles can be most distracting..." she could not resist teasing him back, reassuring him, perhaps, that she did not think so badly of him after all.
He felt his heart soar again.
"I'm sure Lieutenant Steiner would be very flattered to hear you describe him in that way…."
His eyes glinted mischievously.
"Those were your two daughters' words, not mine, Captain," she replied immediately, "As I'm sure you already know!"
He had the decency to look slightly shamefaced.
"Well yes," he agreed, "It's a most disgusting habit, Fraulein," he continued mock-seriously, "But when I walked past the school room and heard Brigitta ask you whether you had ever found a man handsome..." she blushed again, "Well I confess, my curiosity got the better of me."
He could certainly give as good as he got then, Maria decided, watching as a teasing smile snaked across his face. Although his tone was light-hearted, the strange feeling in her stomach intensified.
"You should know better than I, Captain, that sometimes 'there are rooms in this house which are not to be disturbed'!"
He laughed again, more genuinely than he had any time during the previous evening, and could not resist pushing her a little further. She fascinated and intrigued him just like... well just like his wife had once done.
"I guess we have both been guilty of that transgression then Fraulein," he reminded her, "And I do not believe that you ever did answer my daughter's question..." his eyes smiled into hers, though a distinct glimmer of a challenge hid in his gaze.
He saw her breath quicken.
"As I told Liesl, Captain," she replied, "We are not allowed to think of men in that way in the abbey."
'Very good, Fraulein,' he thought, before fixing her with another of his wicked smiles.
"Oh come now, Fraulein," his tone was more flirtatious than even he had been intending, "We both know your abominable attitude towards rule-breaking!"
"Sister Berthe would certainly tell you that," she replied, cringing slightly as she imagined what the nun would think of their conversation.
"She sounds a formidable character, this Sister Berthe," he observed.
Maria shrugged slightly, "She just wants what is best for us," she answered seriously, "And to guide us on God's path."
'And what is God's path for you?' he wondered as he regarded her again, 'Not to spend your life locked in an abbey, I don't think.'
Their conversation once more lapsed into silence before a sudden fanfare of music came bursting from the villa. They both jumped and then laughed as they realised what it was.
"The orchestra must be warming up," he commented.
"I suppose we should go back inside," she answered turning back towards the villa, "Or you should at least," she amended.
He groaned, "Unfortunately I suppose I had better," he shuddered, "I don't suppose even you can save me from this insanity for long!"
He waved his hand towards the villa, suddenly deciding that the very last thing in the world he felt like doing was spending the evening being spun around on Elsa Schrader's arm as if he were an extra accessory to her outfit.
No, staying outside by the lake… or even running away into the darkness seemed far more appealing.
As long as Maria came with him, he decided suddenly as he turned towards her again. She was smiling.
"Well it's just for one evening, Captain," she reminded him, "And then everything can settle back to normal again… and the children are so excited, they're so pleased you agreed them to singing…"
He nodded quickly as an idea suddenly blossomed in his mind.
"Would you care to-"
The music came to an abrupt end before he could finish his request. He dropped his hand back to his side and laughed.
"Onward into the fray then!" he declared a minute later, saluting the façade of the house.
They shared another laugh and he abruptly reached out and grasped her arm gently.
"Thank you, Fraulein," he said quietly.
This time she did not have to ask him why.
"Just for being you."
He patted her arm gently before releasing it. The caress felt suddenly very familiar, and far more natural than it should have done.
But she was in blue… not in white… and he was not in his uniform…
The confused thoughts flitted suddenly through his mind as the gesture jogged his memory and he paused for a moment, somehow finding himself standing much closer to her than he had been.
"I'll see you inside then uh…" he trailed off as he moved away, wanting to call her Maria and knowing that he should call her Fraulein.
She nodded mutely before lifting her eyes to look at him.
He refused to meet her gaze, looking instead at a safe point on the bridge of her nose. He was quite nervous as to what she might see in his eyes if she were to look into them… and, perhaps more pertinently, what he might remember if he looked into hers.
No, he was not quite ready for that yet, and in fact it would not be until later in the evening, in the middle of a hypnotizing dance, that he would remember his dream in its entirety.
"Enjoy the evening Captain," she managed.
He turned briskly away, "You too, Fraulein."
Taking a deep breath he headed back towards the house.
…..
High up on a balcony, dressed in a stunning golden gown with a large cream organza, Baroness Elsa Schrader looked down at the scene below with a trace of a tear in her eye. She clenched her fists, letting out a sigh as Georg strode out of her sight towards the villa, leaving the governess standing still at the waterside, the look on her face leaving little doubt that she was totally, completely and irrevocably in love with the Captain.
She wondered if she ought to go to Max, to seek out his advice and tell him what she had seen, and in fact she made it as far as the bottom of the stairs with that exact thought in mind. It was fate then, perhaps, that it was not Max Dettwelier who she first encountered, but Georg himself, crossing the foyer towards the ballroom.
He turned as he heard her.
"Ah-ha!" he exclaimed as he saw her, "You look beautiful my darling."
She accepted a kiss from him, pulling a tear back into her eye as he squeezed her shoulders gently.
"You ready?" he whispered into her ear.
She smiled back at him. Yes, she was ready, she decided as she moved to stand beside him at the bottom of the entrance steps. She was ready to become Baroness Von Trapp, and not a single force on earth was going to stand between her and that goal.
Max Dettwelier came down the stairs with a grin.
"Stunning!" he exclaimed with a bow, "Here's to the happy couple!"
He lifted the flute of champagne which he had obviously already acquired from somewhere and took a hearty mouthful.
She forced a smile back at him and watched as a frown flitted over his face.
"You alright?" he sidled up to her and whispered in her ear.
She looked over towards Georg but he had already taken a step away, now in conversation with his rather worried looking housekeeper.
She hesitated for a second on her reply, knowing exactly what Max would tell her if she were to confide in him.
"Yes, yes, just fine," she lied, "You look very dapper yourself."
He shrugged modestly, "I try," he winked, "You look absolutely beautiful my darling," he smiled, far more sincerely, she decided, than Georg had.
"Thank you, Max."
She kissed him delicately on the cheek and was amused to see his ears redden.
"Yes, yes, well…" he awkwardly took a step away, "Enjoy, both of you! I may not see much of you amongst all my mingling…! But save me a dance?"
"Of course."
He saluted before stepping into the salon and she could not help but feel a twinge of guilt. Poor, dear Max Dettwelier would most surely disapprove of what she intended to do, and would likely vow that the Elsa Schrader he knew would never be capable of such an act. But perhaps, she decided, she would just have to disappoint her oldest and dearest friend.
She would not do it though, she vowed to herself, if absolutely everything went just as she planned that evening.
The door opened, admitting the first guest.
"Here we go," Georg muttered into her ear before dropping into a bow.
She knelt into a curtsey.
And if everything did not go as she wanted… well, she would heed Christoph Steiner's wise words:
'He will get over his infatuation as soon as she is out of his sight'