Two of the doctors I contacted about Lisa have replied. Neither seemed to be able to offer any help, they both seemed to be almost denying their involvement in the field. I suppose after what happened at Torchwood one, what happened to the World, it is not the safest thing to admit to specialising in. I haven't told Lisa yet. It's just one more thing that I seemed to have failed her on. She was so happy when I brought her down to the hub; she had a lingering look of hope in her eyes again that made me so happy to see. I don't want it to go away. That sounds selfish, but it's mostly because I can't bear to take from her the hope that she is clinging to, that gets her through the day. The response I've received from these so called experts has made me wary again of telling anyone from Torchwood, even Tosh. Perhaps people won't be as understanding as I had hoped.
I had my first proper 'mission' as it were last night. Well I say mission, all it consisted of was providing back up to Tosh whilst she broke into a school about half an hour away, which had had seven missing members of staff in the last week and unusually good results for a comprehensive in that area. Hardly going in at the deep end, but that's not what I wanted. To be honest I think she could have managed perfectly well without any assistance, she seemed to dance her way through breaking the door window and quickly hacking into the alarm system. I was there primarily to act as some form of body guard I believe, just as well that the school was not occupied by security guards as I don't think I would have been much good at 'my job'. I am not a fan of violence. But in the end I seemed to provide more friendly chatter and hot coffee from a flask than protection. I think Tosh appreciated it nonetheless, as we traipsed around the school, eventually finding suspicious software on the computers which we downloaded to a data stick. As it turns out, I was right about her liking Owen, she started trying to tell me:
"Ianto, do you ever get the feeling that when, you, you know, like someone that they just…" she stuttered through.
So I simply asked her if she was talking about Owen.
She nodded, sighing.
I told her exactly what I thought, that she was too good for him, that she was to kind and too intelligent and beautiful for someone so selfish, that he could easily take all these things for granted, hurting her in the process. But that equally so, if she thought he might make her happy even for a short while then she should go for it.
She just smiled and said "We'll see".
I think I told her the right thing.
Suzie was using the glove again tonight and I'm still worried about the effects it may be having on her, she really does seem obsessed with the power she has over it. The team went off to investigate a murder victim, as Suzie reckons that the glove works best on those who have suffered from a violent death. I stayed at home to finish the report on our findings at the school and to research more about other schools across the country in case it is not a one off, but Toshiko told me that the rain stopped when the glove was in use. I'm not quite sure what to make of that, but it surely must reflect the sheer power of the glove. Apparently someone was watching the team carry out their work, a woman, a policewoman. I was sure and fast becoming convinced that Torchwood was not one of the nation's best kept secrets, but surely we should be on our guard if someone has seen us resurrect a dead man.
The Captain said he saw her again today at the hospital, whilst following up reports of a Weevil. She saw the Weevil attack and kill a man; surely we should start thinking about using retcon?
Well apparently we will be having a little visitor this evening. Our mysterious female stalker has been wondering around outside the Millennium Centre for several hours now and was just spotted entering the local takeaway pizza restaurant. The Captain has anticipated that she'll bring us a pizza, posing as the delivery girl. It's a fair enough guess, as she has our name and location, and she's a policewoman so investigating is what she does best. But part of me would love him to be wrong, he gets all smug and pleased with himself when he's right (which is all the time pretty much), although it is kind of funny in a childlike way.
He was right, of course. I didn't let him know that I find him amusing when he's smug about being right, instead I pretended to be a little short with him like everyone else acts when he's like this. I must admit I did feel a little sorry for Gwen when she arrived, pizza in hand, look of shock on her face when she saw the secret door open in the tourist information shop for the first time. I was sending her into the lion's den, but this is Torchwood, and the only sort of introduction you'll ever get. It was nice to be a part of the charade though, to feel included, Toshiko always makes an effort and the Captain is always more than friendly (much more...) but Owen really does just see me as a tea boy and Suzie has never been too keen to talk to me. Not that I am complaining I am happy enough keeping myself to myself. Anyway, Tosh and Owen gave in with laughter pretty quickly and the captain, after revealing that he knew all about what her plans, introduced everyone in the normal fashion...
"And he looks good in a suit"
Was what he said when he came to me, I'm really starting to wonder whether he is actually taking the mickey or not, after all no one else dresses this smartly, never the less I pulled out the classic 'harassment' claim again, he beamed in response. He started showing off again, ordering everyone about, emphasising his command, the way he did when I first arrived. I don't know why but just for a minute or two it bothered me, it was obviously his standard routine. I just felt that my first day was special; that he was trying to impress me with what Torchwood does but clearly I was one in a long line to experience the Captain Jack Harkness guided tour. That sounds so pathetic and jealous; I really don't understand why it has bothered me so much!
So, a rather drastic turn of events has taken place. I'm not entirely sure where to start... I haven't fully processed everything yet, not that it matters I suppose, as I am the only one who will ever see this, but still I am stickler for doing things properly. After allowing her into the hub, and to discover Torchwood yesterday, the Captain 'retconed' PC Cooper. He told her she wouldn't remember anything, so she tried to type everything up bless her, but anticipating this I hacked into her home computer system and deleted the file before she could save it. It was to be expected of her, I wouldn't want to forget what I have seen here, but the Captain was pleased with my work and that pleased me. Not that it mattered in the end, because somehow she managed to break through the effects, she saw the drawing of the murder weapon, of the knife, at work and linked it to something she had seen before, seen at Torchwood. And, this is the most terrible and shocking part, it turned out that Suzie had been using this knife to kill innocent people to test the glove on. When the Captain turned up, she killed herself, knowing what would have happened to her if she hadn't I suppose. It made me really wish that I had said something to her about using the glove, about my fears of somebody holding that sort of power. He offered Gwen a job working with us, I think it's a good idea; she's seen so much already and has coped with taking it all in. And as an ex-police officer she will provide a valuable contribution to the team, also it means I won't be the 'newbie' anymore, so hopefully Owen may relent in his teasing just a little bit, and the Captain in his flirting. Although, I am just about getting used to that.
The Captain was shocked and angry, a rarity for him, that Suzie had taken Torchwood property outside the hub and gave us an ultimatum to hand anything else over now, or we would suffer the consequences later. It didn't surprise me at all to see Owen handed over the cologne made from 51st century pheromones, like the kind that the Captain has, although he had implied that they were natural not from a bottle, but of course that would be impossible surely? Trust Owen to take something that helps him attract more one night stands. I was however a little surprised when Toshiko handed over the reading device, I mean I know she would have been using it for an important purpose, but still to go against one of the Captain's rules, it just didn't seem like her. Those two and the Captain turned to me expectantly after that.
"Sorry" I began, "I just couldn't fit the coffee maker inside my bag".
All three of them burst out laughing, Owen and Tosh continuing to giggle as the left through the security gate.
Then the Captain gave me the strangest look, a cross between disbelief and admiration and something I couldn't quite put my finger on. "You're serious aren't you?" He questioned rhetorically, "you didn't take anything" He stated.
"No Sir" I replied, "I was under the impression that it wasn't allowed, and I didn't want to go against the rules you keep" I couldn't have sounded more sycophantic if I had tried.
He laughed lightly at that and said with an unreadable expression "You never cease to amaze me Ianto Jones".
That line has stuck with me, was he being genuine, I'm sure he was, but why? All I do is the paperwork and the coffee, nothing amazing about that. Yes I followed the rules, but it's hardly a commendable action. I really do worry too much about what he thinks of me, for some reason part of me just wants to impress him. And one thing I've noticed is that I really like the way he says my name. Not just the way he extends the vowels with his American accent, but the way he says it makes me feel important, valued, just through one word.