The Doctor gave her a relieved smile at her words but Seven barely noticed, her mind stuttering with shock but after several seconds questions began to form. "How far along am I?"
"This scan says you're four weeks today."
Four weeks! How was that even possible? Her precise memory answered for her, the night of the Admiral's visit. Here she was with a photographic memory and still when she got carried away she forgot even basic precautions! The small burst of anger quickly faded, it was too late to do anything about it now, they would just have to cope with the repercussions of their actions. "I haven't been feeling nauseous; I experienced it much earlier with the twins…" Fear prickled at her, was there something wrong with this new pregnancy?
The Doctor though looked relatively relaxed. "There's evidence to suggest morning sickness can be worse with twins but every pregnancy is different, as individual as every baby. It may still come."
Seven hoped not, she couldn't afford to be crippled with vomiting, not with two inquisitive toddlers to watch over. "I suppose I will need to take the anti-assimilation drug from now on?"
The Doctor walked calmly over to his private lab which adjoined the office. "Yes but in expectation of this I've refined it considerably and I've got an idea on how to improve its administration…"
"You expected this?" Seven said with terse incredulity, her head snapping round to look at him.
He sheepishly bowed his head out of her direct gaze. "Well, you and Chakotay always struck me as a couple who would try again…but I didn't expect you to have them in such quick succession…"
"Neither did we." She replied tightly as she stopped Michael's curious fingers becoming trapped in the folding mechanism of the stroller. As she held his small hand, she imagined him as a baby again and negative feelings towards the pregnancy dissipated. "You were saying Doctor?"
"Yes, I've come to believe that I've made the drug more manageable, hopefully your implants won't degrade so drastically, meaning you can get closer to term…"
Seven swallowed as her mind transported her back to the NICU and had to reassure herself that the twins were fine by pulling the stroller closer. No, she would do anything to avoid a repeat of that experience. "Do as you wish."
He pulled out a small device. "I'm going to use this; it will pump small regulated doses of the drug into your bloodstream twenty four hours a day. This should put off bed rest for as long as possible, if my theory is right."
"I'll still need to go on bed rest?" How was that going to be achievable? The twins needed her.
"It's probably unavoidable; the twins put double the strain on you but even with one and my new techniques…"
Seven could tell he was becoming anxious and nodded in resignation, another disruption for the family. "Insert the device." She ordered.
"Lie on your side." She did so, unable to stop the wince as the connecting tubes and wires pierced her skin. Aylen's eyes wobbled like rippling pools of clear water as frightened sobs began to shake her small frame.
"Mama! Oww…" she wailed inconsolably, while Michael threw his best attempt at a glare in the Doctor's direction.
"Shh Aylen. Mama's fine…" Seven murmured softly, but Aylen was by now too wound up to be so easily comforted. When the Doctor gave her permission she sat up and lifted Aylen out of the stroller and onto her lap, showing her the device. "It doesn't hurt baby, don't be upset…" A white lie, the area was tender and the drug was already sending mild pain through her implants.
The Doctor approached Aylen who sank against Seven, frowning resentfully. "Aylen this is my magic box. It's helping Mama I promise."
Aylen stared at him for a moment before turning her face back to her mother. "Iss." Seven kissed her cheek obligingly, understanding her mispronunciation but she shook her head. "Iss betta."
Seven was perplexed for a moment before she remembered how Chakotay always soothed their cuts and bruises. "Oh, kiss better. If you wish." She directed Aylen to a spot far from the device, tolerated the wet touch and then hugged her tight. "There, all better. Thank you Aylen." Clipping her back into the stroller, she prepared to go before turning back to the Doctor. "Anything else?"
He handed her a few vials of the drug and a familiar emergency beacon. "Same rules as before, if anything doesn't feel right come back." Seven nodded, her fingers closing over the beacon. Please let it go unused, she hoped inwardly. The Doctor must have seen the fear in her eyes for he squeezed her shoulder in a fatherly fashion. "Congratulations Seven. I'm expecting another birthday party next July if all goes well."
Seven gave a real if somewhat wobbly smile for the first time since the news had sunk in. "It will." It has to, she added silently as she left.
As she took each of the twins out of the stroller and packed it away as they played in the living room, she couldn't help thinking how they were going to transport this new arrival, a three-seater was unlikely to fit through the doorway. For a moment she marvelled at herself. How could she be thinking of such things now? It seemed so trivial in the scheme of things. It is preferable to panic, she reasoned as she ascended the stairs to her bedroom and began to search through her wardrobe, pulling out a box marked maternity wear. Spreading a top out in front of her she was shocked at the size, glancing ruefully in the mirror at her for now trim figure. Hurriedly she packed it back up, that's a long way away yet, she rationalised in complete self denial. As she replaced it her hand found an outgrown newborn outfit of Michael's. She fingered it with a lump in her throat, remembering when it had appeared ludicrously big for his tiny body. Her hand travelled semiconsciously to her abdomen. Please don't frighten me like that baby, she thought silently. She smiled at her own sentimentality, there was nothing for it, she would need to adapt for she loved this unknown child already.
Chakotay arrived home punctually that night, part of her longed to tell him but a larger part dreaded it and was intensely glad that the medicine pump was invisible under her clothes, so for a time she convinced herself to put the task off but after the evening rush had eased and he was relaxing on the couch, twins playing at his feet, she knew she had to tell him. He looked up at her questioningly as she stood silent and apprehensive before him, twisting her hands in a very un Seven like manner and took a deep breath. "Chakotay, the Doctor has informed me…" another deep breath, "…that we're going to have another baby." He snapped to attention, his breathing seemed to stop for an impossible amount of time, his dark eyes huge and staring. She nodded in confirmation and he got up with unnatural speed and embraced her tightly, but it was without its normal warmth, more akin to clinging to a life preserver, his face pressed into her shoulder. Unease nibbled at Seven's heart but her mind dismissed it, reminding her that he didn't seem angry. "I'm four weeks along…"
She didn't get any further. "Let's go and get the twins ready for bed." He suggested suddenly yet firmly, letting her go without looking her in the face, immediately turning to the twins. Maybe we'll discuss it later, she thought but the cold feeling gripping her heart told her otherwise.
What if the twins' care deteriorates because of this? What if I don't have enough love to give three children what they need and deserve? Seven rolled on to her back, perhaps she should give up on sleep and start her regeneration cycle early, that would be an escape from these thoughts. She remained where she was, not having the will to move. How was she supposed to coordinate the schedules of a newborn and two twenty month olds, as the twins would be if their sibling was full term? What had she been thinking being even remotely happy about this development? Chakotay wasn't happy, she was certain of that now; he had avoided her all night. Even now, in bed, his back was turned on her. Her hand found his back, which was tense and wakeful, he wasn't asleep either. This knowledge made a lump of tears rise in her throat but she choked them back. "You're not happy about the baby?" she whispered, managing to keep her voice level.
Chakotay kept his eyes on the wall for a moment but the way she asked the question of him, with no resentment, more as if she was stating a fact, broke his heart and he rolled over to face her. "Seven…"
He could see her eyes glistening in darkness, her turmoil was more than he'd supposed. "I know it will be difficult but I will try to maintain my performance as a mother…"
His hands clenched in guilt. "Seven, I could never doubt your love and care for our children. That won't change no matter how many children we have."
"Then why are you worrying?" As far as Seven was concerned that was the only major worry. She stroked his face. "I feel the same way about you my love…"
He laughed slightly. "Oh Seven, I'm not worried about how we'd cope once the baby was here, though with three under two it would be a challenge…I'm worried about now…"
"But nothing is amiss right now."
"You're pregnant! Do you know how close you came to dying last time?" he exclaimed, his voice hot with emotion.
"The Doctor is hopeful, were you not listening when I told you of his new approach?"
"I heard and understood every word of it…but…but you nearly bled to death last time…were in a coma for weeks…you suffered so much…"
"Do not be afraid for me. I am willing to take the risk." She murmured as soothingly as she could.
"I know that you are, but I want the children we love so dearly to have a mother at the end of it all…"
"They will and a father. We can never predict what's going to happen, we have to take risks for the best things in life, you taught me that! If you hadn't we wouldn't be here!" Allowing time for her words to sink in, she wrapped her arms firmly round his cold body.
After several hushed minutes Seven was surprised by a sudden sweet kiss but soon responded accordingly. "I'm glad you trusted me then and I'll trust you now darling don't worry. I want this baby but I still don't understand how it happened, we've been very careful…"
"Not the night the Admiral came to visit."
His hand came to rest on her stomach. "Well, at least something good came of that." He said with sincere emotion. "Girl or boy? Have you got an inkling?"
"No. It has already been decided. We will find out soon enough. Either way we don't have to worry about buying clothes."
"It can have some new clothes Seven. I don't care we have experience with both, that's one of the good things about twins."
"I highly doubt it will be twins again. The odds are…"
Chakotay held her hand as he cut her off. "Seven you won't be able to sleep if you do those odds, we'll be happy with whatever comes." That said they settled into contented sleep, not free of worries but in full loving acceptance of what was to come.
A/n: Hi, I hope Chakotay wasn't out of character, tell me when you review. I will update "Disunity" before I update this again. I haven't forgotten about "Lost and Found" either but I'll probably finish "Disunity" and have the baby born in this before I go back to it. Thanks for your patience and support.