Chakotay and Naira sat still in their chairs as they awkwardly watched their respective former Borg lovers disappear into the kitchen and raised, strained voices reached their ears. They shared an embarrassed look of understanding just as they both, particularly Chakotay, fought an urge to intervene. Suddenly the house fell into a deafening silence, Naira cleared her throat, partly in cautious relief and partly just to create a sound. Chakotay on the other hand rose from his chair, knowing both participants well enough to know that stifled silence boded worse than a full on argument. He saw Icheb slip quietly out from the kitchen alone out of the corner of his eye and walked out into the hall to meet him. Icheb instantly stiffened defensively at the sight of him. "My decision is made Chakotay." He said coolly but his eyes shifted back to the room where he'd just left Seven and Chakotay could see doubts reflected in them for a second before true to form they were hidden behind an impenetrable Borg wall.
"I assumed that." Chakotay replied, running a hand through his hair with a sigh before deciding to continue, "Look Icheb, I know you well enough to know that you've examined this decision from every possible angle before making it but I'd appreciate it if you went over your reasons."
Icheb gave him a slow, respectful nod. "A reasonable request, I can assure you that I have thought it through and I am fully aware of the dangers but I am a Starfleet officer and as such it is my duty to protect the Federation. Even more than that…after what happened to the Admiral I feel it would be a serious wrong not to use my knowledge of the Notsinian threat to the full advantage of Starfleet, that can best be done in the field…"
Chakotay put up his hand to stop him, he'd heard enough. "I understand…" He started softly, "…but I need you to understand that revenge may be a good motivator but its not what you turn to for guidance. Take my word for it that it can blind you…" He trailed off, suddenly in the mind of his younger self, the one that had abandoned his Starfleet post for the Maquis. "None of us want that for you, not me, not the Admiral and certainly not Seven…"
Icheb swallowed hard before determinedly meeting his eyes. "I realise that it is a delicate balance. I will keep your advice in the forefront of my mind Chakotay."
"Good." He glanced at the unhelpful door of the kitchen where Seven was still voluntarily enclosed and squeezed the younger man's shoulder. "Remember that you don't have anything to prove, to Starfleet or otherwise."
Icheb's lips flicked upwards in dry humour, though his eyes wavered. "On the contrary, I intend to critique the efficiency of every aspect of their plans as soon as I join the task force." Chakotay just smiled in response and let him return to Naira, what else could he do? He would've been doing the same thing if he were in Icheb's position.
The blood thudded powerfully round Seven's ears almost as rapidly as her thoughts and yet she felt horribly useless as she stood there, her emotions aimless, unhelpful, irrelevant. As her gut twisted with a fear of loss she knew instinctively would most likely never leave her she leaned heavily against the kitchen countertop, tilting her head back and fixing her tear blurred vision on an insignificant section of ceiling as she tried, through a Borg ingrained sense of habit, to methodically sort through her emotions. For her any sort of confliction, mental or emotional was worse than any strong feeling, no matter how strong, as long as it was definite and quantifiable it didn't disturb her so completely. Hazily she was aware of Chakotay's familiar voice outside the door in conversation with Icheb so she didn't even feel, let alone express surprise when he entered and approached her. "Seven…" Even hearing such a sympathetic tone from him seemed to make the reality of the situation set in with further pain so she shifted away from him, distractedly rubbing her itchy, damp face with the back of her hand.
Despite thinking he'd prepared himself Chakotay was still shocked and upset by how desolately withdrawn his wife looked as she half heartedly hid her face with her hand and muttered, "I assume you are aware of the parameters of the situation?"
"Yes honey, I am." Driven by the need to comfort he stood in front of her and grasped the hands gripping the countertop until the knuckles went white. "I know it's a shock but try not to be angry with him. Many new recruits are reckless, desperate for action…I was, but Icheb's not like that, his reasons are…painful but sound…"
"I wish I could be truly angry but I can't!" Seven burst out tearfully. "His reasons for going are more understandable than mine for keeping him here…" She choked out, "I know that if I was in the same situation I would do the same but that knowledge makes it worse…"
"Listen, just because your reasons are purely emotional doesn't make them any less valid! They're very understandable; don't beat yourself up for being frightened and upset. If you bottle it up you'll find it harder to cope in the long run…"
"I know that!" she cried out, gasping hard from the effort of all this upheaval. After a long pause she gathered up her shredded thoughts and set them out. "Let's go back through, we have guests and are being rude…" She began methodically setting out a drinks tray.
"Seven, don't be ridiculous…" Chakotay began. She could read the frustration on his face and it took all her strength not to drop what she was holding, collapse into his arms and cry but as it was she walked quietly back into the living room.
Over the next few days Seven was ludicrously glad for the children's infectious and distracting enthusiasm for Christmas as the relations between the adults were gradually defrosted by the amazingly time consuming activities of building toys up only for them to be played with to near destruction and tolerating the cold to entertain toddlers in the snow. By the time the last day of Icheb and Naira's visit dawned, relations between them all, even Seven and Icheb were almost normal, though the strain showed in all their faces. Chakotay was still surprised though when on the brink of another trip out into their snowy garden Icheb approached him with a request. "Chakotay…may we have a talk?" he asked nervously.
"Yes, by all means." He replied, taken aback, although he noticed Seven looked less than surprised as she dressed the twins in their coats and hats.
"Naira and I can entertain the children by ourselves for a little while." She piped up as she stepped outside with a heavily bundled Max in her arms.
"Yes of course we can." Naira agreed, leading Aylen out by the hand and closing the door.
Chakotay hoped Seven wasn't getting her hopes up that Icheb was retracting his decision; he knew that was unlikely despite Icheb's strange demeanour. "What can I do for you?" he finally asked when he saw Icheb wasn't going to begin.
Icheb seemed to brace himself before blurting out, "How did you know when to ask Seven to marry you?"
Chakotay had thought that living with Seven, who could come out with the most unexpected questions imaginable, would have prepared him for anything but obviously not this. "Naira I take it?" he asked once he'd struggled over the shock. Icheb nodded vigorously. "Well, I just decided I wanted to I suppose…" He began lamely but Icheb continued to look at him expectantly. "If you're considering it then listen to what your heart is telling you…" He wondered if Icheb would get such a reference but a new worry entered his head. "Are you sure, with you both joining the task force that it's the right time?"
"You don't think she'll say yes?" Icheb asked anxiously.
"I didn't say that, I'm quite sure she will!" He sighed. "Just wait for the right time, it'll come but don't get too attached to whatever plan you make. I was a few days later than planned in asking Seven."
"Everyone knows the Grand Canyon story; I will try to be less…clumsy."
"We'll see about that." Chakotay replied with a laugh.
The night of Icheb and Naira's departure, long after the children had been put to bed, Seven sat at her vanity, methodically brushing her hair with her back to Chakotay in bed but not focusing on her appearance one bit. "Seven are you coming to bed?" Seven nodded back to him as she slowly put down the brush and stood up. Part of her wanted to go straight past him to her alcove, every night he'd tried to coax her into talking about it and every night she'd shut him out, it was becoming tiresome. Reluctantly she joined him on the edge of the bed and he said, in response to her faraway look, "He'll be fine." She didn't deign that with a reply, just lay back onto the bed in utter silence. "He asked me on advice on how to pop the question…" Chakotay tried again, he sounded so proud of himself Seven smiled.
"I know, he asked me first. I told him to ask you since you actually were successful."
Chakotay chuckled, "I should've known, and here I was feeling special about the confidence…"
Seven turned on her side to face him and traced her fingers down his arm. "You are special…"
"Thanks love." He rubbed her back gently. "Who knows? Maybe we'll get to go to Bajor for a wedding in a few months…"
Seven felt something inside her break. "What if the last time we see them…is at their wedding?" she whispered with a sob. Without a word he pulled her tight against his chest and she let go completely, allowing herself the blessed release of crying and the comfort of Chakotay's presence.
A/n: I'm not sure about this chapter, please review!