Chapter Thirty-Four

Danni sat outside her suites. She looked lost, but pensive. She was trying to think about her talk with Ruby. She understood most of it because she was the Dark One, but it was the intricacies of emotions that still left her baffled. Ruby was right, though. Will would always hold a place in her heart, even if she couldn't command it at the moment fully.

She thought about the tattoo. Sure, she got it against the wants of Ruby and Belle when they were raising her in her alternate history, but she had planned everything through. When she cast the spell in front of split personalities of Regina, her mother, and the Black Queen, she had realized that it was going to be a one way trip. She didn't know that she would forget the words on how to get back, but then again would it have mattered. She'd changed everything. There was nothing for her to go back to. Her world no longer existed. Honestly, neither did she. Remy was not her and she was not Remy. She had truly become Coraline and then Danni. Her memories were foggy some days, but she still trusted Belle and Ruby over everyone else.

She didn't mean to hurt her family, but it couldn't be helped. She had gotten so used to being alone and independent that needing someone else felt foreign to her. Rachel and Quinn did their best to get through to her, but even they had trouble. Will was the only one that could get through all her defenses and that was only when she allowed it. But, Will was different. She got her on levels that no one else did.

She wasn't sure if she was afraid of the bond their shared because she actually loved her on a deeper level than anyone else, or the fact that she was Will's Vulcannonian mate. She knew that it should scare her on some level that magic had destined them to be together, but it didn't. There was no way that Will could have known that she would have fallen for her charge's daughter. There really wasn't. And, had Coraline's fate not been sealed in death and mayhem, Will may have never found her.

She shook her head. She didn't know why she was thinking about this right now. She needed to be preparing herself for the journey ahead, but her talk with Ruby was making her look more inward than outward. She leaned back against the stone facade of the castle wall. She couldn't help but blame herself for this, even though she knew that it wasn't all her fault. She was worried about her family still and how she would react on the battlefield. She closed her eyes and tried will the world away.

"Can I sit with you?" a small timid voice asked.

Danni looked up. She couldn't help the surprise and shock on her face when she saw Rachel standing in front of her. There was a look in Rachel's eyes that she couldn't place. But, in the quick seconds that they stared at each other, both bewildered by the other's appearance, that Danni realized she'd seen the look before.

"Yes," she answered quietly.

They sat on the carved wooden and stone bench. Neither of them were particularly wanting to talk, but they both knew that they needed to. Danni waited. She knew that Rachel was probably furious with her and she could understand why.

"I understand what you did," Rachel finally said breaking their self-imposed silence.

"You do?" Danni questioned as she snuck a quick glance at her.

"Yes."

"Care to tell me about it?" Danni asked as she turned to face her more fully.

She didn't know why but she needed to see the understanding Rachel's face. She needed to know that she truly understood why she'd put her through those horrific paces just before her long, long, lost, unknown, maternal grandmother of sorts appeared in the courtyard. She needed to understand that she really had done the right thing. She wasn't trying to hurt Rachel. She was trying to protect her. It was just second nature for her after the incident in the ally way years ago. Danni wanted to keep her safe, even if it was from herself.

"You proved your point in the armory, Danni. I don't think that we need to explore it further," Rachel replied.

"You're still upset with me," she stated more than asked.

"I shouldn't be, but I am. I get it. I do. It's just that night in the ally...I want to believe that you stopped, that you didn't kill him, that you just beat him to a bloody pulp because of what he almost did to me and because you were protecting not only me but yourself. When he hit you with that piece of lumber, I couldn't help but want to scream, but I couldn't. No sound would come out. I know that you told me to run, but I didn't want to leave you there alone. You'd just helped me and you looked down on your luck. The least I could have offered you that night was a good cup of coffee."

"And, instead you took me home and bandaged my hands," Danni added.

"I did. I was worried that you might get an infection. But, I should have known that you were different the next day."

"Why is that?" Danni asked her.

"Because your hands were healed...completely healed. I just never put it all together. I just assumed that the ice and doctoring that I had done helped the cuts get really small. Even though logically, I should have known that they wouldn't have completely disappeared by morning. I didn't want to believe then."

"And now?"

"I have no choice but to believe."

"You could always just go back to New York and pretend that this was all a really bad dream," Danni suggested.

"No, I couldn't. I am not going to leave you. I am not going to let you suffer through this alone. But, I am not going to go on the campaign with you. I couldn't handle the hand to hand combat or the aftermath. I understand that, but that doesn't mean that I can't support you in other ways. I will stay here with your mother, Regina, should a war come to fruition. I will help tend the wounded. I will find a way to be of use," Rachel explained.

"But, this isn't your fight, Rachel. This is between me and the Silver Army. Somehow, some way, I know that this is my doing and I have to fix it."

"According to my Grandmother or whatever Nicola, this is my fight as well. Not just for my birth rite, but also because I am Vulcannonian like Wilhelmina. If that is true, then Quinn isn't just my soulmate and my lover, my wife, she is also my destined True Love. I will not allow whatever magic does exist in this world to be extinguished for whatever reason this Silver Knight thinks he has. I am not going to let your family suffer just as you didn't let me suffer."

"Rachel, this isn't necessary."

"It is to me," she said as she stood and walked away.

Danni wasn't sure that they had actually resolved anything between them. She could prove that she wasn't scared or injured from the lance head that Rachel had buried into her stomach, but she didn't think that it would prove anything to Rachel. She needed more. She needed something that wasn't tangible and Danni wasn't sure that she was willing to give that to her. She could create anything that Rachel desired and give it to her with magic, but she refrained from giving into her emotions and realizing what this was actually doing to her family.

She didn't realize when Emma sat down beside her. She didn't know when her warrior mother gathered her in her arms and held her. She didn't care. She was still trying to fight the emotional battle within herself in order to keep the "beast at bay." She had spent hundreds of years travelling between magical realms and kingdoms in order to find some semblance of order to the chaos that being the Dark One caused and the only conclusion she'd come to was stunting her emotional response. She had essentially become a Jedi. There was only thought, no emotion, and her thoughts drove her actions in order to protect those she loved. Emotions complicated things and got in the way.

"Heya, Kiddo, wanna talk?" she asked as she released her enough to lean back some.

"Hey, Ma," Danni replied.

"Wanna tell me what's going on? You know, besides the obvious. I want to help you. I may not have had a lot of practice with you, but I totally understand locking away your emotions. I did that. It was hard and lonely. But, you know what? I was lucky enough to find someone that was willing to help me find my way back into the world of emotions," Emma told her.

"Who?"

"Your Mom."

"Mom? Really? What about Grams and Gramps?"

Emma snickered a little. "Yeah, Snow and Charming helped me, but it was really your Mom that pushed me. If it wasn't for her constantly pushing me and making me angry to the point that I couldn't see straight, I would have left Storybrooke and your brother. I wasn't ready to have a family because I'd never had one. I was lost and lonely. I didn't think that I needed anyone to help me. I was so used to being alone and on my own that my independence almost cost me everything. I don't want that for you. I want you to have so much that I am willing to do anything to help you."

"I don't know what to do," Danni replied.

"I know and that sucks. Trust me, I get it. But, you have your family, real and made up, here to help you. We aren't going to let you fight this problem on your own. I for one am not going to let you leave without a fight this time. I know that you feel like you have to push us away to deal with being the Dark One, but you don't. We don't care about that and you've already proven that you care too much."

"I really screwed up with Rachel," she explained.

"I don't think you screwed up with Rachel, Danni. I think you went about pushing her the wrong way, but you got the result you wanted. She's rethinking the possibility of war. She needed to know if she could handle herself on the battlefield and she realized that she couldn't. There is nothing wrong with that. I overheard her talking with Regina about learning how to help bandage and care for the wounded. She's finding her place."

"It doesn't help that Nicola is here to complicate things further," Danni added.

"That is... Well, complicated to say the least, but I am sure that they will find a way to deal with each other. Take a walk with me. Let's talk, huh?"

"Okay, Ma," Danni replied as she stood up with Emma.

They walked out of the castle and towards the gate. She didn't question it. She just followed Emma blindly. She didn't believe that Emma wanted to hurt her. She knew that she wouldn't. She was her mother. Emma had her own way of expressing her love for her children. She did things with them, she showed them things and she told them about the life lessons that she learned on her own.

As they made their way through the small village just outside the castle, Danni began to wonder just where they were going. She also wondered if she should have told someone where they were going. She wasn't sure that anyone would really care that they were missing, but she figured that it would be nice for her mother to know her whereabouts because she knew how she worried. But, Emma didn't stop. She just kept going. Once they were on the other side of the village and the castle was on the mountainside, Emma turned to look at her. It was there that she finally stopped walking.

Emma waved her hands and she was suddenly in a tank top and pair of dark skinny jeans. A red leather jacket complemented the outfit as did the brown knee high boots. She looked like she belonged back in New York or Storybrooke. It was a look that Danni hadn't seen in years.

"Ah, that's better. I was getting tired of all the gowns and knightly garb. Go ahead and change. I know that you can't be comfortable in all that...that...stuff."

Danni wanted to life, but she didn't. She just waved her hand and found herself in a pair of jeans and red t-shirt that bore the family crest. She just smiled as she looked down at her blackened combat boots. She was ready to do whatever Emma needed her to, now.

"There is a place that your mother and I made back in Storybrooke. It was a place that we could go and just be. There was no responsibility. We were just Emma and Regina there. There was no mayor or sheriff. We didn't have to worry about the outside world. It was just us. It was a place that we could just let loose and be alone."

"Is that where we are going?" Danni asked.

"After a fashion, yes. It seems that the little cabin in the woods couldn't come with us. So, your mom, being your mom, conjured us a place to runaway when we needed to just get away. I talked to her earlier. She thought that you might need some...time...to just think. I think that it would be a good place for you to just blow off some steam. It's what I do when I come out here," Emma told her.

"And, the change of clothes?"

"I feel more like myself out here and like this. You look good by the way. I think putting the family crest on the shirt was a nice touch," Emma said.

"I use it for the logo for our production company."

"Still representing even when you aren't with your family, cool."

Danni laughed. She understood what Emma was saying. She looked at the cabin as they neared it. Of course, it would be near water. She wasn't sure what her mother's preoccupation with water was, but she could appreciate it. There was something relaxing about where they were. She wondered what Emma was going to want to do while they were there.

"How long are we going to be here?" Danni finally asked her.

"That's up to you, kiddo."

"Why me?"

"Because, we are here for you. I know that you plan on saddling up and going off to find danger in the morning, but are you sure that you are ready for that? And, trust me when I say that I am not questioning your abilities. Far from it, but I know what it is like to go off half-cocked and angry."

"I do, too."

"I know that you do, Danni. I am not denying that. I am asking if you feel like you are ready to go out on a scouting mission."

Danni just looked at her. She didn't know what to say because she honestly didn't know what to say. She wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to be what her family needed to be. She loved them all, but she didn't know how many times she could go into the fray before the Darkness took her over completely. It was honestly her only true fear. She didn't care about death. She didn't care about being hurt. She only cared about the Darkness taking her over. She had seen what the Darkness had done in person thru the craziness of Rumpelstiltskin. She'd seen the pain in her family's eyes as she accepted her fate, but they did not. She'd seen what she could be driven into doing due to the Darkness. She'd killed a man without thought, reservation or consequence. She did it and she knew it.

"I don't know," she finally mumbled.

"It's okay to not be ready," Emma told her.

"Is it?"

"Sure."

"Why do you say that?" Danni asked her.

"I wasn't ready to be a mother. I gave Henry up, but he is the one that brought back to save everyone from the Curse. I wasn't ready to believe in magic or be the Savior, but I still gave Henry True Love's kiss to save him. I thought I was saying goodbye to my only child. I was angry and hurt that he was dying in the hospital and no one could help him. But, in a split second of irrational thought, I kissed his forehead and broke not only the Sleeping Curse he was under but the Dark Curse being held over Storybrooke. I still had to fight against everything that I knew to be true. I had to learn to bridge the gap and find peace with the fact that I not only had magic, but I came from a place of magic. I had to relearn everything that I thought I knew about fairy tales, because, boy did the world without magic get those wrong."

"I know all that. I get that. I do. I understand all of it," Danni replied.

"I know you do. I am just letting you know that I get what you are feeling. I know what it is like to build something up only to find out that you were very wrong about it from the beginning. But, the truth is...we love you. We aren't asking you to do this. We never would," Emma explained.

"Well, that's a little hard to believe and I don't mean that badly. I am the daughter of the Savior and the Evil Queen. I was born of True Love and became the gods damned Dark One. It is in my nature to be fiercely loyal and to protect those I love...including my family. Hell, I came back from the future to make sure that Remy didn't live my life. Let me tell you about culture shock...'cause I think I would win that argument, Ma."

"True, you probably would."

"But, because of who I am and who I've become in the eyes of the people both in Storybrooke and in New York, I am expected to do things. Hell, only I would befriend a High Elf, a legacy warewolf, an Empath, and a Vulcannonian Princess while falling in love, by that I mean True Love, with the Queen of Vulcannon. I mean, there's a little pressure to perform. I know that many of the people know that I am a Princess of the Realm, but I don't take the title. I am Regina's first knight as High Queen of Fairy Tale Land. My older brother is her heir. I am the heir to nothing really, because in my stead, Remy will be the Princess of the Winterlands. And, just to hinder things and make them a little more complicated, we've decided to make my uncle, Prince Neal, who really has no claim to a throne at the moment, the Crown Prince and Heir to Summerlands. So, it's fallen on me to not only protect the thrones, but keep my family safe. Forgive for feeling a little pressure," Danni replied sarcastically.

"I think you are the one putting the pressure on yourself. We would never ask that of you. I know I wouldn't. It is too much for one person to bare."

"And, yet, you are still my Queen, my mother, and my commanding officer."

"Those are just titles, Danni. Titles don't make families. People do. You've got your family here, and the one that you've created for yourself back in New York. Now, what you have to do is ask yourself if what you doing is for them or for yourself?"

Emma didn't wait for her to answer this time. She walked off toward the cabin leaving her standing in the middle of the woods pondering everything. She decided that it was time to take stock of what Emma said as the looked around her surroundings.

"Sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees," she stated as she started towards the cabin, following her mother's footsteps.

She shook her head. She understood what Emma was trying to say. She didn't have to live up to anyone's expectations but her own. She had been trying to prove herself for years. She had grown up in their shadow and everyone expect great things from her because of it. But, she had to make her own path.

She walked into the cabin and looked around. It looked like it belong on a lake in Tahoe or upstate New York. It was very rustic, but it was also very much her mothers' cabin. She could see both Emma and Regina's influence everywhere. She couldn't help but smile. She knew that if this cabin resembled the one back in Storybrooke, then Regina visited it often.

"Your Mom likes to come here at least once a week to unwind," Emma told her as she handed her a cup of coffee and sat down on a carved wooden chair looking out the floor length windows overlooking the lake below.

"I can see why," Danni replied as she sat down in a similar chair next to Emma.

"I don't want you to live in our shadow, Danni. I want you to make your own way. I know what it is like having famous parents. We've tried to raise Henry and Remy so that they don't feel privileged or like celebrities, but being royalty kinda hinders that sometimes, you know?"

"I do."

"And, from what you've told us about Red and Belle raising you, you had no idea who you really were after the Blackness hit. I think you remind me more of me every day. You found out who you were later in life, then had to save us all from a dark curse. You became the next generation's savior," Emma told her.

"Guess that runs in the family."

"Maybe so, but I didn't want that for you," Emma said taking another sip of coffee.

"Who does?"

Emma turned and regarded her daughter. The years didn't show on her face, but in her eyes. She recognized the hallow there. She'd been there, but it was deeper than that. She was still fighting the darkness of the Dark One while trying to reconcile who she was. Anyone would break under that pressure, but Danni hadn't yet. She'd cracked on several occasions, but she hadn't completely broken. And, with each crack, she came back stronger, more energized and ready to fight harder than ever.

"I don't want you to feel like you have to do this to protect us, Danni. That isn't your job. You aren't our magical Savior. You don't have to risk yourself for us," Emma told her.

"I don't, then who will?" she asked in reply as she sat her coffee cup down on the arm of the chair.

"I'll go."

"Mom will never let that happen."

"I don't want you to think that you have to do this."

"I know that I don't have to do it. I want to do it. It has become my life's mission to protect this family. If not for you, then for Remy. I will not let her grow up with you both."

"No one is saying that she has to," Emma said.

"Tell that to the Silver Army heading towards us."