It was the short, sharp shriek that woke her up. It irritated her, jarring her out of a nap, and for a moment, she didn't understand where she was or what had happened. Usually, Clint or Jeff came to wake her up, terrified to let her sleep in case she had latent brain damage. They were usually far gentler than a shout. None of the Gladers ever had cause to scream, aside for gales of laughter or howls of pain. Most particularly, they did not get excited after dinner. That was relaxation time for most of them, their chance to unwind.
This was different. She'd been resting, on and off, on Clint and Jeff's orders, despite her desire to get back to work. Though she grumbled, she was tired enough to nap all day, and sometimes simple things felt enormously exhausting.
But the scream had her instantly alert, her injury utterly forgotten, shoved to the back of her mind. Her leadership instincts immediately reared up, sending her on a mission. She quickly exited the empty hut, following the source of the noise. Another squeaking cry. Most people seemed not to notice it; perhaps Hedy only did because she was so close to the DeadHeads. Or perhaps, despite her lack of maternal instincts that came so easily to Saph and Jeff, she was ferociously protective of the Gladers; it was her duty, and she took her duty utterly to heart.
When the third shout was more desperate, more keening, Hedy knew there was trouble. Real trouble. Where the hell was Newt? She ran as fast as her legs would carry her towards the shouting, literally barreling into the Greenie, Teresa, as the other girl tore out of the DeadHeads. Their legs tangled and Hedy gripped her as she fell on the slightly smaller girl, trying to keep her from being crushed under her weight as they spun and twisted, landing messily. She felt an ache in her head; she'd probably split a stitch. But that didn't matter now. The expression on Teresa's face was sheer terror and confusion, her enormous blue eyes swimming in tears of pain; strange that her fear was so picturesque, as if she were a living personification of tragedy and romance. A foolish, fleeting thought, because the spell was broken when Teresa spoke: "He's chasing me," she managed frantically, gasping for breath, and before Hedy could wonder what the hell that meant, Ben came tearing out of the forest. Teresa leapt up with superhuman strength, immediately backing away. Bark followed after her, whining, trying to sniff at her, his body firmly planted between Teresa and her attacker, distraught by the violence.
Scrambling up, Hedy ran towards him as he ignored her, intent on Teresa. "Ben!" she barked at him, using her most commanding voice, hoping to shock him into submission. "Stop!" Halt. Cease. Back the fuck up.
But the Changing had rooted in him already – he looked sick, with wild eyes and enormous veins popping out around his eyes. He was deathly ill, but running, a zombie whose reflexes were still sharp. Hadn't he gotten the serum in time? she wondered frantically, wishing for the first time that the Glade were just a little smaller; she'd never seen anything like this.
"And what the hell are you doing out of bed?" she began furiously, but he interrupted her, looking past her at Teresa, who was standing still, but hesitant, as if she were waiting to bolt, hoping Hedy could protect her, but uncertain.
"I saw her!"
He said it clearly, despite his trembling voice and clenched jaw and shaking hand that pointed. Hedy stepped forward carefully, but as she did so, Teresa inched back further and Ben roared back to life like a machine lunging.
"I'll kill you!" he screamed, his voice breaking with the sheer effort, his eyes nearly popping out of their sockets, bellowing with fury and terror and madness. "I saw it! It's your fault!"
In her entire time in the Glade, in her whole life, Hedy had never heard such unadulterated hatred. It caused a physical tremor through him. Though she wouldn't admit it, it terrified her. This was not just the Changing. This was Ben, filled with rage, so angry he could kill. Normally, Ben was a friendly guy. Not as shucky as Minho, but with a similar outgoing personality. Shock almost kept her from acting, but she collected herself just in time. As he threw himself past her, she swung herself onto Ben's back and yanked his head back, sending him toppling backwards onto her. It knocked the wind out of her lungs but she kept her legs tightly wrapped around his torso and her arms around his neck and shoulders, holding him down with her awkward weight and her grip over his eyes.
It wouldn't last. As she saw Teresa running, she knew she only had to hold him down for a minute; Newt and Clint and Jeff would find them, or someone would hear Ben's outburst. Frantically, he fought against her, hand reaching back to punch her away from him, and she felt her cheek splitting and dripping, and the ache in her head, which still hadn't abated, only increased with his forceful blows.
Closing her eyes and clinging, she only let go when she felt Ben being pulled up. Releasing him immediately, and rolling over to wipe the blood from her face, she spat, feeling a cut in her mouth. She'd bitten her tongue, leaving it sensitive and swollen.
"Slammer, now!" Newt ordered, his voice filling her with relief. Opening her eyes and sitting up, she saw a terrified Teresa, with scratches over her neck and what looked like rugburn and the makings of a nasty bruise, cowering next to Newt, Gally, and Jeff. Gally watched his friend stoically, his eyes flicking over to Teresa and back to Ben. Calculating. Not questioning, not concerned. She filed that away.
Standing, she watched Newt and Gally carry him away, now crying hysterically, a keening that broke her heart and simultaneously broke goosebumps all down her arms.
"Are you okay?" she asked Teresa, who tried to collect herself. Terrified still, the girl shot a look at Ben's retreating form before nodding. Jeff rushed up to them.
"Thanks," the girl sounded almost close to crying. "I don't know why he… did that. I don't understand..."
"Well, looks like you've gotten a new knack for getting that nose beat up." Jeff looked at Hedy critically. "Let's take that noggin down to Clint. You better come too, Teresa. Emotional support."
As she tried to staunch the bleeding, pinching her nose and leaning back a little, she nodded, suddenly upset.
They'd have to Banish Ben.
Minho was going to kill her.
x
Leaning back, Thomas scowled at the screen. That idiot Ben had gone crazy and nearly killed Teresa; the Griever serum had more side-effects than they realized. It must somehow disrupt the Swipe within them if they waited too long. He forgot about Gally's own incident with what the subjects called 'The Changing'. It wasn't his fault. After three years of observing, it was like an old television show. He couldn't possibly remember the intricate plots of every episode, especially if it was muted and he was only reading the subtitles. He was not fully immersed in this world; he was only immersed in Teresa.
Still, though, he made note to alert Director Paige of the oversight, and waited for the right moment to contact Teresa. She was beautiful in the Glade; the artificial sunlight seemed to cast her in ivory and marble, and the others were not immune to her sheer physical charm. It made him a little jealous. She was there for one reason, and that was to continue their work. This was an entirely project-oriented task, whether or not she remembered. Her brain waves had produced nothing of interest, either, though he vaguely wondered if he would end up loving her even more. This would be her at her truest, some philosophers could argue. Unfettered by memory, behaving only on instinct.
He remembered the day three years ago when the Maze Trials had first begun. Paige had called it a "purely neurological experiment". As of now, it was no longer. He was now personally invested.
x
Not one week after Ben's banishment, Saph and Hedy were sitting in the Kitchen, savoring a rare quiet moment in the Glade. Even the usually unstoppably boisterous Saph was appreciative of the silence; drinking lemonade, watching Trackhoes garden, their motions languid. It seemed as though it was the first time they'd been able to simply sit and relax for months; the mood was infectious. Though the weather never changed, some days seemed hotter, more indolent than others, a collective exhale. It had been a difficult few days after the Banishment, and they were all glad to let a little tension roll off their shoulders.
However, Hedy knew that meant something was coming. Something troublesome. It was always the calm before the storm. Vaguely, she wondered what it would be. More trouble with the Newbie, perhaps, or with Minho. Maybe Gally. Or someone who never got into trouble, making it even more surprising. She hoped nothing would happen to any of the Runners. They seemed to be making progress - or were at least optimistic.
A shadow passed the window and the little swing door revealed two feet.
Both knew it was Zora. She'd left a little bit ago to take a nap, and she'd always had strangely large feet for her frame, wrapped in cloth shoes. It had been Rosie who'd figured out how to make them out of old pants and bits of leather; they weren't protective enough to be practical, but they were comfortable, and she wore them almost daily, scorning the shoes she'd worn when she'd come up in the Box. She stepped in and sat down next to them, quietly. It seemed to be a tense silence, as if she were brimming with something that was about to burst from her. This was the moment Hedy had known was coming.
"I'm pregnant," she said abruptly.
Periods were not often discussed in the Glade. It was a natural body function, accepted and accommodated for, and that was that. Boys who were squicked out by this natural bodily function quickly learned that their misogynistic squeamishness would not be appreciated. It was less funny than 'klunk' and less common than a piss, but it was there. Not all the girls got one. Their sanitary measures were easy and simple, and explained to each female newbie. There was little cause for real discussion.
"Ah," Saph nodded sagely, as if heterosexual intimacies were her topic of expertise.
Sex was also not often discussed in the Glade. Hedy didn't care if people did or didn't do it, so long as nobody's sleep was disturbed and relative privacy was kept. She knew Saph and Laverne had sex, and relatively often, but it was a little different when pregnancy was a possibility.
"So are we celebrating or aborting?" Hedy asked bluntly, pushing her uuntouched lemonade over to Zora, who looked as though her mouth had gone dry.
This wouldn't be the first abortion. There had been two in the Glade. Meg had been the first, and Rosie and Clint and Jeff had put their heads together to discuss the medical safety issues of termination. Zora had wryly offered to kick her in the stomach, a joke that did not go over well with Saph. The second had been Maya, and Hedy belatedly wondered if that had anything to do with the girl's 'disappearance'. Suicide. Death.
"Well, it was gonna be a celebration," Zora's mouth was definitely dry. Her words came out slowly, choked. "I really was gonna think about keeping it. I know it doesn't make sense but…"
"Oh, honey, you don't need to justify it to us," Saph said protectively, pouring a third, icy glass of lemonade for her. "What's got you all-"
Realization dawned on her. She and Hedy met eyes, grimly.
Ben was the father. It made sense. They'd always flirted; or at least, Ben had flirted, and Zora had been her usual cranky self, though she had once remarked that she found him handsome. Or at least "stone-cold stunning".
"Shit," Hedy offered finally, lacking words. Sympathy felt weak. Condolences felt inauthentic. Apologies accomplished nothing. Zora and Hedy were similar in their lack of sentimentality, their nearly ruthless practicality.
"We can't take back his Banishment, can we?" Saph asked anxiously, not intending the cruelty of her question. Matters of the Maze were distant from those who had never been out there. Some sneeringly referred to Runners as cliquey, and it was true, in a way. Those whose lives were affected so directly by the labyrinth halls
"He's dead by now, Saph. You know that," Hedy admonished her. Zora knew it, but even such a comment held too much hope. It would only hurt her more to hear Saph suggest it. "Even if he wasn't, could we find him?"
Neither of the other two knew that Jack had found a bloodied piece of Ben's shirt in the Maze. She would keep that to herself.
Crying now, Zora nodded. "I'm not coming here as a friggin' supplicant, I just need friends. It's nothin' so tragic as a lovelorn romance, we just hooked up and now he's dead and I'm carrying a spawn demon Griever baby."
"I would abort it," Hedy said immediately. "If we're taking suggestions."
"Cripes, and people say I'm as big a slinthead as you are," Zora mumbled, choking on a sobbing laugh. "What a terrible thing to say! The father of my baby went jacked and got killed."
Saph sighed. "Well, she's too mean, but she does have a point. We dunno anything 'bout tomorrow. Maybe... 'sa bad idea to bring a baby in this wild world."
"I dunno. Makes me feel like there's a future, ya know? Like maybe we'll be here forever, or escape, or solve the puzzle, or get liberated. Somethin' 'bout ensuring the human race or whatever."
Silence fell upon the three young women, nothing alike about any of their appearances except for the sweating cups of lemonade in their left hands.
"How far along are you?" Saph asked.
"Far enough to be sure," Hedy tossed back at Saph.
"My period was due today. I, uh, didn't notice the first month, and then the second month I wondered if it was stress… well I knew, obviously, but I didn't wanna know, wanted to write it off, and now, it's sure."
Hedy counted up in her head as quickly as she could. "So like twelve weeks? That's far. That's like a whole trimester or whatever. Too far for Clint's morning-after potion."
"Did Ben know?"
Zora compressed her lips. "Well, I wasn't sure, but I brought up the possibility to him last week, like the day before he got stung. He was a little scared, I think. Which, I guess is reasonable. He was processing, I guess. Before he went bonkers and tried to bash in newbie's head. I dunno how he would've felt. Honestly... I didn't know him that well. We weren't that close."
"Shit. We're gonna have a baby." Hedy blinked, trying to imagine it.
"We?" Zora rolled her eyes. "There's no we. We is dead."
"The Glade, asshole. The collective we."
The quiet that ensued was more tenatively companionable, though Zora and Hedy could both clearly see Saph beginning to vibrate with excitement. "Tomorrow," Zora said in a sharp, warning tone. "You can tell everyone tomorrow."
The vibrating continued. Her fingernails began clicking against her cup. An enormous smile seemed to split her face in an almost eerie manner, and her toes began tapping. The more reserved women shared wary glances.
"Fine! Go find Laverne! But only her! If you tell anyone else, I will literally kill you."
With a cackle, the Keeper zipped out of the room, leaving the crankier girls alone, Zora smiling a little fondly, Hedy scowling in the same manner.
"So," Hedy pursed her lips, perusing Zora's face. "You scared?"
Zora frowned at her. "Shitless, obviously. What, y'think I casually decided this was a cool fun idea? Naw. But like I said, this baby is the future. Or my future. Or somethin'."
"Maybe you're right," Hedy brooded. Maybe this baby was the future. Maybe Zora's hope wasn't misguided, and everything would be okay. She doubted it, but she couldn't force her to get rid of the child. It was their baby now. The Glade's baby.
They sat, quietly, knowing that everyone would know in a matter of hours. They wondered what the Keepers would say, if the news would spark outrage. Few knew about Meg, and less about Maya. Zora's news would be a first to many, and a shock to all. It hadn't been something oft considered by many of the teens. Perhaps it would provoke judgment from some.
"You think stuff happens for a reason?"
"In the universe, or in this place?"
"Well, s'one in the same isn't it? Since we can't remember anything from before."
Hedy sat on the question. "I think they're different. I think, in here, maybe everything does happen for a reason."
Their elbows unevenly distributed the weight on Saph's rickety table. She'd have to ask Gally to fix it. Knowing Saph, she'd probably try to stand on it for a song-and-dance number and kill herself. They'd have to baby-proof the Glade, too. Make a little house for it, cradles and stuff. Food for the kid, but she supposed Saph could handle it.
Zora nodded at that, solemnly.
"Did you love him?" Hedy dared herself to ask, in a small voice, hating herself and regretting every decision she'd ever made, every word she'd ever said, every thought she'd ever had.
Zora rolled her eyes. "Dude. We're kids. What the hell do I know about love? He was cute. And he liked me. Like, really liked me. I feel like…" she seemed to struggle with her words, finishing her lemonade before slowly tasting the sentence as it left her mouth: "How can I say no to that? Happiness is, like, a… a… somethin' rare, I guess, and I'm not in any position to turn it down while we're stuck here."
x
Thomas reported this to Director Paige, whose eyes glimmered slightly at the prospect. "Pregnant?"
"Yeah," Thomas fidgeted, wishing he could get back to Teresa, but knowing the value of this information. "And the child is most likely going to be an Immune."
"We can always use new test subjects," Paige mused to herself, adjusting her already flawless chignon and seeming to look into Thomas, beyond him. "As Teresa's chip begins to biodegrade within her, make sure she recognizes this importance. This is very interesting."
"Well, Teresa's scheduled mission should be over in the next two months, maximum," Thomas answered, hoping that it would not take her the maximum timeframe. "So before Stage II we can gather subject B6 and begin to conduct research."
Research, he called it, disgusted with himself, with his pale skin beneath the luminescence of the indoor lights, with his complicity in this murderous farce. But Teresa trusted the Director implicitly, trusted that the ends would justify the means, that Thomas would guide her and protect her throughout the experimental Trials and that world peace could be accomplished with a cure, that disease could be fixed or stopped.
They were doing this to save the world. So why did he feel so uneasy?