Author's note: Oooh we're almost done. We only have ten more letters to go! Which could be good or bad, depending on how you look at it :)

Disclaimer: Once again: I do not own Infernal Devices. Shocking, isn't it?

Poultry Pie

Will wrinkled his nose at the smell wafting up from his dinner plate. He carefully poked at it with his fork. "What is this?"

Jem, sitting next to him, answered in a voice that was entirely too serious. "Poultry pie, I believe."

"Surely Agatha does not expect us to eat it."

"Now, William," Jem admonished, his tone still oddly serious. "What would Charlotte say about your manners?"

Will bounded up from his seat. "Why do you think Charlotte and Henry are gone tonight? They are not chasing down rumors of rogue Downworlders, they are leaving us alone to eat this…this…pig slop!" He snatched up his plate and turned toward the door, pointing dramatically with his empty hand. "Come, James, for I know how to right this dreadful wrong!"

Later…

"Do you really think they'll eat it?" Jem enquired.

Will didn't answer. He took a step toward one particularly brave-looking duck, extending his hand to offer the bird a bit of poultry pie. The duck eyed him for a moment—and then it leapt forward, squawking angrily. He gave a shout of surprise and darted behind Jem. Almost immediately, the duck subsided.

"Perhaps they will if you try," Will huffed. "They seem to like you."

Jem chuckled and knelt on the damp grass. A small piece of the pie rested in his open palm as he held out a hand to the duck. It cocked its head, staring at Jem with an expression akin to curiosity. Jem lightly tossed the food toward the bird. After a moment of hesitation, it darted forward and gobbled up the morsel.

Will gave a triumphant shout, nearly scaring the duck off. "I told you!" he crowed. "We shall breed a race of cannibal ducks and sic them on Agatha for cooking us such a horrid dinner!"

Jem only laughed and tossed the duck another morsel.

Pristine

Tessa snatched her skirts up with a gasp, barely avoiding the spray of mud.

Will laughed. "Still trying to keep up a pristine appearance, Miss Warlock?"

She suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. "We have not yet proved that."

"Well," he lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, "you shall have to try harder."

"Why?"

"Your boots are filthy."

Despite her best efforts to keep it down, an annoyed huff wormed its way out of her mouth. "How do you stay so clean? I do not understand it!"

Will gave her a dazzling smile. "I am pure at heart," he said, dramatically putting a hand to his chest. "Purity repels all dirt and grime."

I know that was Izzy's line, but still…just imagine the look he would get for that :D And of course I couldn't resist doing my version of the cannibal ducks! I do apologize if you like poultry pie, but for some reason I can just see Will doing something like that. Anyway, please review!