In my usual routine, I clumped downstairs, pulling my raven locks into what I deemed to be a presentable ponytail, as I retrieved the marker from the counter and crossed the day off the calender in thick red ink. My eyes strayed to the dreaded date, highlighted by several neat circles and I paused, lightly gnawing on my lower lip as I contemplated. It's almost Christmas. It feels as though time has flown by so fast, too fast, almost. When I first swallowed the pearl, I couldn't wait for it all to end, I thought that the days couldn't go any slower, but now I wish that time could just stop. Usually I love this time of year, full of cheer and excitement... But now, I don't want even another second to pass because, with every day that ends, Christmas draws nearer.

When Christmas comes... the exam will be over. Eyes closing, I sighed dejectedly and allowed my forehead to rest against the cool plaster of the wall. And Zero and Ichii will leave. I suppose everything will return to normal after that. But maybe I'm used so used to the chaos that... I don't want normal any more.

A light tapping on the back of my head had me forcing a cheerful smile that felt disjointed, awkward and terribly, terribly fake. It was my mother, looking windswept and frantic, with the collar of her shirt sticking up and the right side of her jacket sleeve slipping off her shoulder.

"Have you seen my keys? I can't find them anywhere."

"Didn't you hang them on the hook? That's what it's there for, you know."

She smiled ruefully. "I know, I know. I suppose I just forgot, again. In my defence, they're just so small and easy to lose."

"This is the second time in three days." Sighing with mild exasperation, I gently rapped her on the head with my knuckles. "You need to remember these things."

"I'll take better care of them, I promise."

"You said that last time."

"But this time I actually mean it."

Good-naturally rolling my eyes, I pulled open the nearest draw and rifled through the useless clutter of discarded paperwork, pulling the keys out from where they were half concealed inside a faded brown envelope and jingling them to attract my mother's attention. Instantly her head whipped up from where she was hunting along the counter, and an unbearably smug smirk pulled at my lips as I shook them again. She breathed an obvious sigh of relief as I dropped the keys into her hand.

"What would you do without me?" I teased.

She chuckled and lovingly ruffled my hair on her way out. "Oh!" With a start, she paused in the doorway. "Could you take out the trash for me?"

"Sure."

She disappeared out through the doorway.

Shaking my head minutely at the colossal amount of noise she was making above my head, I knotted the bag at the top, hauled it out and juggled it awkwardly as I made my way out of the house towards the bins. Ichii, who had been gently blowing on his clasped hands, blinked owlishly and kicked off the wall, lifting the lid for me. Exhaling, I casually tossed the bag inside and swept a few stray locks away from my face to shoot him a grateful smile.

"Hey," He greeted, his cheeks flushed pink from the cold. "Fancy meeting you here."

I couldn't help but grin in return, watching the vapour from my breath swirl in the gap between us. "This a surprise. Aren't you cold?"

He shook his head, shaggy hair bouncing as he did so.

His hair, I noticed, had grown considerably longer than when I first met him, falling in a cheerfully tousled style that suited him remarkably well. Unlike Zero, it didn't seem as though he could be bothered with going to all the trouble of getting it cut. Then again, he could just be waiting for the end of the exam, that way he wouldn't have to worry about bailing halfway through to protect my worthless life.

"You monster!" I exclaimed, in mock horror. "It's freezing!"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Granted, this coat is pretty thick, but I feel warm. If I had to think about it, I suppose some gloves would be nice. What, don't you like this weather?"

"Well I wouldn't say that, I do like it a lot, actually. Only... I like it a lot more when I'm inside." I shivered. His expression tightened with concern. "Speaking of inside, why aren't you in there?"

Ichii's mouth closed with a quick snap. His ochre orbs seemed to dance with amusement as he steadied himself, the barest hint of a grin tugging at his lips as he spoke. "Hikari... Are you still in your pyjamas?"

Eyes widening, I quickly assessed my attire. A deep scarlet flush rose to my cheeks and I angled my head away, lip already jutting out in a pout. "So what if I am?" I asked, crossing my arms across my chest with a loud huff. I could see him failing to hide his smile as he shrugged his coat off. "A-Anyway, that's beside the point! I'm more concerned about you. Something happened, right? Between you and Zero? That's why you're out here all alone."

"Perceptive, as always. But we're not fighting, if that's what you're getting at, so you don't need to worry."

"Then what is it?" I pressed, stubbornly.

He snorted and tweaked my nose. I cried out in protest and batted his hands away, sending him a mock scowl from my defensive position. "Why don't you go inside and see for yourself?" I stared at him with trepidation, brows furrowing intently as he dumped the coat over my shoulders, which felt deliciously warm from his body heat. "Not going to?" He asked, cheekily.

I narrowed my eyes in challenge. "Tch. Of course I am. I bet I can handle it." I declared, wriggling my hands through the sleeves, before marching into the house with the coat swishing around my knees and Ichii following some distance behind, cackling to himself in a way that was rather unnerving, yet I didn't let it bother me too much.

Ichii was barely a step in the door before my mother was pouncing a hug on him. "Ichii! It's so great to see you again." Clearly startled, he managed to emit a disgruntled noise and awkwardly patted her back once, before she released him and breezed past, chattering a mile a minute.

"You're going to be late~" I sang.

"Don't remind me!" She exclaimed, all but running into the kitchen to retrieve her bag.

I stood in the doorway, hands resting lightly on my hips as I studied her critically. "Phone?" She dug it out of her back pocket. I frowned and waggled my finger admonishingly. "How many times do I have to tell you? You have to keep things were they can't be grabbed easily. Now, keys?" She held them up as evidence. "Wallet?" Sighing, she rummaged inside her bag and waved it lightly. I smiled and relaxed, kissing her on the cheek. "Have fun, and stay safe, okay?"

"Sure, mum." She teased, blowing me an air-kiss which I theatrically slapped over my heart as she blew through the door.

I waited exactly three seconds before taking the stairs two at a time and entering the boy's unit without knocking. It took an extra second for me to realise that that may potentially have been an absolutely terrible idea, considering the previous incident in which I did exactly the same thing- much to the embarrassment of all parties involved- but thankfully luck was on my side today and my intrusion didn't reveal a half-naked Zero.

Raising a single eyebrow in a thin arch, I switched a curious gaze to Ichii, who was leaning against the door frame with far too much nonchalance.

"Go ahead," He encouraged, slyly. "You said you could handle it."

Narrowing my eyes, I rolled up the baggy sleeves in a quick, deliberate motion, stuck my tongue out at him, and flounced on.

A clattering in a nearby room caught my attention. Zura, seemingly fleeing for his life, almost slammed into my face in his haste to escape. "Zura!" I greeted, enthusiastically. "I haven't seen you around lately." The seahorse laid eyes upon Ichii, gave a startled shriek and promptly retreated into the bedroom. Frowning, I clocked the brunette, who had the most positively angelic look of innocence one could possess. "Hey, what was that all about? He seemed scared of you."

"It's nothing." I raised an eyebrow. He coughed awkwardly. "I hate spiders. The panic attack I had on finding my desk full of rubber ones sent Zero into full-blown locate-and-destroy mode and Zura into hiding for a week. He's still avoiding me now. I suppose he's expecting me to take revenge, but I know it was just a little prank and that he didn't know, and anyway, Zero's already extracted it on my behalf. Having to taste-test one of his kitchen disasters is the cruellest form of punishment I can imagine."

"Ouch. I almost feel sorry for him."

Ichii chuckled sheepishly. "For Zero, there are lines that shouldn't be crossed. Ever. Spiders are one of them."

Zero can be exceptionally sweet sometimes. I'm going to miss that...

Ichii's big brown eyes blinked from their position, two inches from my face. I'd been so zoned out, I had even noticed him get closer. "Is something wrong? You're not chickening out on me, are you?"

I gave him a small glare and rectified the distance between us. "Of course not! Don't you doubt me!" I silently pushed open the door to the room Zura had vacated and quickly discovered why.

Hell must have froze over, because Zero was cooking.

"God help us." I whispered, utterly horrified.

In that moment I would have been more than happy to leave the country, taking care to evacuate the entire street beforehand. Unfortunately, luck was not on my side any more. Zero whipped around from his task of rummaging through the cupboards, a proud grin adoring his features. Guiltily, I straightened up sharply as he waved, though I didn't have the energy to return the gesture. He must have caught sight of my pained expression, however, for he tilted his head in confusion and regarded me rather warily.

"Hikari, are you alright? You're looking a little pale. Why are you wearing Ichii's coat? Please don't tell me that you're sick, we had enough trouble dealing with that stubborn mule."

Silently, I raised my hand and pointed directly behind him. "Zero... Your pan- it's on fire."

The flames danced up and licked the cabinets above. Zero's eyes comically widened to the size of saucepans. "That's not supposed to happen... Is it?"

I shrugged as casually as I could manage and ever so helpfully supplied, "You're the cook, so you tell me."

Hands shaking, he grabbed the recipe book and flipped through the pages rather frantically, a manic gleam in his eyes. "Damn useless book!" He cursed, throwing it down in despair. "Where's the part where it tells you when a fire is alright and when it is about to devour your kitchen?"

Thankfully, both myself and Ichii were present to lend a helping hand. Ichii arguably took the easiest job and began to deal with the acrid smoke that was systematically worming its way throughout their little unit, while I switched off the cooker, nudged the pan off the hob and swiftly doused the flames with a couple of quick pats with a handy tea towel, successfully keeping a panicked Zero a reasonable distance away, in case he somehow managed to increase the severity of the situation.

Honestly, I expected worse.

Nothing was utterly irreparable and we'd prevented the kitchen from being razed to the ground.

The brunette returned, arms crossed over his chest, scolding glare in place. Zero was sitting crossed-legged on the floor, lip jutting out in a pout, arms folded neatly, looking every part the sulking five-year-old. "What were you doing?"

"Cooking."

"Why?"

"Because I can." Zero huffed. "Look, it's not even that bad, so don't get in my face."

I chanced a peek at the charred remains in the pan and winced.

"You call almost burning down our kitchen not even that bad?"

The younger boy scowled further. "Well... We can fix everything this time! And it's not like Hikari got hurt-" Flushing, he trailed off and looked away.

Ichii adopted a voice he usually reserved for children. "That doesn't mean anything. What would have happened if we hadn't have been here?" Picking at his sleeve, Zero mumbled something unintelligible. "You know I didn't hear that, Zero. Speak up."

"... I just wanted to make you pancakes." The boy said, in a plaintive little voice that melted my heart.

Ichii pinched the bridge of his nose and risked a glance in my direction. I fixed him with a pleading expression that caused his shoulders to slump in defeat. "Clean it up, okay?"

The bluenette nodded wearily, his bones cracking as he stood up and stretched his arms up high over his head. Alarm flashed brightly in his eyes as I coughed violently, the acrid smoke painfully tickling the back of my throat. "Hey... I can handle this. It's annoying when you hover, so go watch a movie or something."

Ichii blinked once and after a second of prolonged eye-contact with the younger boy, nodded softly. Gently grasping my upper arm, Ichii steered me back to my own room. Sometimes, it surprised me with how fine-tuned they were to each other; the fact that they could have a conversations solely with their eyes only empathised that.

While I pushed the window open, Ichii smothered a yawn with the back of his hand.

Fresh air swept in, lifting a few stray locks from my ponytail, bringing with it the sweet scent of flowers. Kicking my feet back, I landed heavily on my bed, hitting my kneecaps against the frame with a resounding thump.

"That sounded like it hurt. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Ichii. I do it all the time." Stubborn, and reasonably embarrassed, I flipped onto my front, burying my face into the mattress. It actually hurt quite a bit, but there was no chance I was letting him know that. When I peeked up, Ichii was several paces away, leaning against my desk, his eyes closed. Cocking my head, I switched to my back and studied him intently. His orbs slid open, almost as if in reflex to my intense staring.

"Hikari?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"You're tired." I keenly observed. "Didn't get much sleep last night, then?"

Evidently drained, he hooked his foot around the chair leg, effortlessly yanking it to face him. All but collapsing down on the seat, he released a heavy sigh. "You're worse than Zero."

"He noticed?"

Ichii's fingers idly combed through his russet hair. As he spoke, he absent-mindedly rubbed a lock between his thumb and forefinger. "Of course he did. Why else do you think he'd try to cook for me?"

I sat up and shrugged Ichii's jacket off, promptly draping it over the bedpost. "Fair point."

From somewhere outside, a melodic song passed between chirruping birds.

"You're too quiet," He mused, voice low and velvety smooth. "What are you thinking?"

"Nothing in particular." I easily deflected, gracefully rolling myself up in a stray blanket. He chuckled, and the pillow lying against the desk landed solidly on my head.

"You're wondering why I couldn't sleep, aren't you?"

"I am. How'd you figure it out?"

Ichii considered this for a moment. "I'm not the only one that's easy to read."

Pouting, I craned my head back to look him in the eyes, caving at his expectant expression. "Alright, alright, I give. I was just thinking that it's unusual for you to be this tired, even with all the trouble you normally have falling asleep. What made tonight any different?"

After careful deliberation, he shrugged shallowly. "I suppose I just got distracted."

"Distracted." I repeated, frowning lightly. "You got distracted... By what?"

He hesitated and allowed his head to fall back against the chair. "I'm not exactly sure."

I hummed quietly in acknowledgement. There was hardly any point in pushing him. Ichii was stubborn and could close up tighter than a clam when he wanted to.

"Hey, Ichii?"

Suddenly tentative, I gnawed on my lower lip and squeezed my eyes tightly shut.

"Yes?" At my lack of response, he perked up in his seat. "Is something wrong?"

Don't be selfish! "No... It's nothing. Don't worry about it." I was thrown a couple of inches into the air as Ichii flopped down next to me. I rolled onto my side, tossing an arm out to rest my head on, the blanket unfurling itself. "I see you're making yourself at home."

He lazily cracked one eye open and grinned. "What did you expect? It's much more comfortable here."

Hoping he was too distracted to notice my slightly flushed cheeks, I quickly returned to lying on my back.

He settled down much like Tabby does, burrowing into the pile of blankets and curling his legs up underneath him, sighing contently once he was finished, his head resting firmly on my stomach. I blinked down at the boy, mildly confused, wondering whether this was action was some intentional ploy in a masterminded plan, but the steady rise and fall of his chest signalled that he was already fast asleep.

Smiling tenderly, I slowly began to comb my fingers through his hair. Ichii mumbled sweetly in his sleep and nudged closer to my hand. "You need to take better care of yourself, Ichii." I murmured, sweeping some stray locks away from his eyes. "It's almost Christmas, you know. Soon you'll have to leave and I won't be a part of your life any more. You won't be able to rest like this for much longer. Promise you'll make sure to get enough sleep after you go."

Something deep inside of me shattered as Ichii, oblivious in his sleep, made no appropriate reply.

Twenty minutes later, Ichii stirred. I registered the shift in pressure from my stomach to my chest and raised my book. He'd flipped awkwardly in a loose state, somewhere between the realm of sleep and consciousness, so that his face was now close enough to mine for our breath to intermingle between us.

I smiled, gently playing with his hair.

His ochre orbs blinked open, wincing from the sharp glare on the sun. I shielded him with the bulk of my book and he mumbled gratitudes, becoming more alert with every passing second. Soon, he was propping himself up on his elbows, leaning somewhat over me with an adorably bleary expression. "I did it again?"

With no room to nod, I simply smiled. "You did." I confirmed. "Lie down, I call tell you're still sleepy."

"Sorry about that," He said, conceding and stretching out next to me. "It must be bothersome. How many times have I done this, now?"

"Too many to count." I rolled over, jabbing him in the side with my finger when he didn't acknowledge me. "I don't mind. Honestly, Ichii, I don't," Flushing red, I angled my head away from him. "I actually kind of like it. You look so peaceful, it's... Ah, actually... Never mind."

When I glanced back, Ichii was staring at me. "What?" I asked, perturbed. "Is there something on my face?"

He shook his head, eyes narrowed somewhat. "No, it's just... You've never been good at hiding your emotions. But right now, I can't tell what you're thinking."

"Cute. Are you worried about me, Ichii?" I asked, teasingly.

"I am. Someone has to, after all. You're always too busy thinking about others, you forget to worry about yourself." He replied, so earnestly that I was shocked into silence. Then, he laughed awkwardly and tugged at his shirt collar, while we both stubbornly refused to meet each other's eyes. "That sounded a whole lot better in my head." He admitted, quietly.

"I bet it did." I agreed, lightly.

He hummed under his breath, staring resolutely at the ceiling. "What are you thinking right now?"

I stretched my arms out above me, purposely prolonging my response. "That I should make some pancakes for Zero. He's probably sulking right now."

Ichii sat up, casting a shadow over me. "Do you have the ingredients?" I nodded. He smiled and flipped his hair away from his eyes. "Then, I'll help."

"Someone's eager." I commented, as he gently pulled me up to my feet.

"Quiet, you. I haven't eaten today."

Ichii paused at the top of the stairs as I wagged my finger admonishingly, the other hand planted firmly on my hip. "That's really bad for you, Ichii."

He held up his hands in defence. "I know, I know. Don't worry, I won't make a habit out of it."

I relented and we clattered down and entered the kitchen. Tabby didn't greet us, so I assumed she was exploring outside.

The help that Ichii offered earlier mainly consisted of him retrieving things from the high shelves, but I appreciated it nonetheless. Mostly, he was content to lean against the counter and watch me diligently working through half-lidded ochre orbs. One thing I could soundly say was to never get distracted while whisking melted butter into the mixture. I noticed the misty, dazed look in Ichii's eyes and almost dropped the entire bowl in surprise.

I swiftly finished the task and cautiously waved a hand over his face.

Ichii didn't even flinch.

"Ichii?" My voice was soft, tentative as I took another step closer. "Ichii! Are you okay? Can you hear me?"

Pouting, I closed the distance between us, my head thumping solidly against his chest. Ichii, startled at the contact, was instantly alert. He was awkward and terribly uncertain, still confused from shaking himself out of his daydream, but quickly he melted against me, his strong arms returning the gesture and giving me a big squeeze in return.

"Is there a special reason for the sudden hug attack?" He asked, reasonably amused.

I tightened my arms and nuzzled my head further into his embrace. "You scared me, idiot. Your eyes were all glazed over and everything. Don't... Don't do that again."

"Noted." He murmured back, lightly tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. Having a significant height advantage, despite my recent bursts of growth, Ichii looked over my head at the bowls. "Shouldn't we go back to cooking?"

"Probably," I agreed, though I didn't move. "The batter isn't going to mix itself."

"I'll do it," He offered, smiling warmly and ruffling my hair.

My lip jutted out in a small pout as I put my back to him and attempted to fix the mess he created. I froze when familiar arms wrapped around me from behind. Ichii's head was resting on my shoulder. The aforementioned difference in height had my feet leaving the floor. Although I was reasonably comfortable with the action, I still couldn't keep the high-pitched squeak out of my voice. "I-Ichii?"

Maybe it was the realisation that the action was a little too sudden, that he was a little too fast or he was squeezing me a little too tight, but something in my voice had him gently setting me down on the floor and backing away.

He coughed awkwardly and averted his eyes to the side. "Sorry."

I locked my arms around myself, stepping out of his way, tentative and shy all over again. "It's okay."

"Can you get me a drink?"

It was completely silent, except for the sound of Ichii mixing the batter. He seemed extremely determined not to look anywhere but the bowl, so, sighing, I filled up an empty glass with tap water and thumped it down next to him. The entire time I was standing there, he didn't acknowledge me, but the moment I moved away he glanced minutely at the glass, visibly hesitated, before continuing to mix. "Thanks."

I puffed my cheeks out, trying not to feel too irritated.

Why is he ignoring me?

I was just about to demand exactly that, before I stopped myself and closed my mouth with a quick snap.

"Hikari? Speak to me." Unbeknownst to Ichii, I was so startled by the suddenness of his voice, I almost knocked the flour off the counter. "I can't do this any more. I won't pretend like everything is okay." He'd abandoned the bowl and was facing me, his expression betraying his air of calm with underlying concern. "Something's been eating at you for days- don't think I haven't noticed. I know you and I can tell when something is bothering you. Please, speak to me. I can help you, you know that, right?"

He can't help me this time.

He can't know.

It's selfish.

I can't tell him.

I can't tell him that I don't want him to leave. That I want him and Zero to stay.

I can't do that. Because they have dreams they need to achieve. Because it's not fair to them!

I can't.

I won't.

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine!" He seemed so distressed, it was breaking my heart. "You're obviously not fine, Hikari. Why are you lying to me?"

"I'm not!" I exclaimed, stubbornly turning away from him. "If I'm lying, then what about you? If you think something is wrong with me, then maybe you should take a look at yourself, Ichii! You've been acting weird for days with no explanation."

"That's beside the point. And you're avoiding my questions!"

"I don't have to defend myself against you." I yelled.

"Neither do I!" He pinched the bridge of his nose, taking deep, calming breaths. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout. But, honestly Hikari, don't lie to me. What's wrong?"

"I'm not lying. Seriously, Ichii, I'm fine. It's nothing, you don't need to worry about me." His hand was on my shoulder, I shrugged it off, still keeping my back to him "Ichii, I'm fine! I've just been feeling a little sick lately but I didn't want to tell you because I knew this was how you'd react. It's nothing! I said I'm okay, so will you please just drop it?"

He didn't believe me.

Just a simple glance was enough to know that much.

It wasn't just my words that were clues, but my whole demeanour, the fact that I'd raised my voice, the fact that I was visibly irritated.

The fire in his eyes that matched the smoulder in my own promised that this wasn't over.

He exhaled, loudly, shoulders slumping in defeat. I released the breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

We returned to the task at hand.

Neither of us spoke the entire time.

Once it was complete and we'd presented a plate to Zero, laden with pancakes, he ate it, smiling the whole time.

Maybe if both myself and Ichii hadn't been so focused on avoiding each other's gazes, we would have noticed how strained that smile really was.

A/N: First of all, I am so, so sorry for this chapter being so late. I hadn't realised that I hadn't updated this story for so long. Two months! That's ridiculous! I've been writing this chapter forever but I decided to put it on hold in exchange for revising for mocks all the way back at the start of November, but then little things were getting in the way and stopping me from completing it. Originally, I'd planned to have this out by Christmas, but I was ill for a while and didn't get it done in time. Instead, it's my New Years Eve/ New Years Day present.

I've completely edited Chapter 10 and will be going on to edit the Jealously Arc. Reading through Chapter 10 made me realise how fundamentally impractical it was. After changing it, I'm much more satisfied with the flow of things.

Secondly, thank you so much for those of you that have reviewed, followed and favourited this story. I really appreciate your support!

It would be great to hear some feedback on this chapter. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Hopefully, the next chapter will be out much sooner. Thank you for reading!