Out
Chapter: Kurt's Fabulous Life
Date: July 31, 2014
Disclaimer: I do not own this fandom nor make any profit from the writing of this fiction.
The start of sophomore year had actually gone better than Kurt had expected since Rachel had gotten Mr. Ryerson fired for being an ephebophile. With him out of the way, Kurt actually wanted to be involved in glee club because he did not have to feel uncomfortable with the looks that that man was constantly throwing his way. Which is why he had signed up despite the fact that Rachel Berry was going to be in the club as well. As is the pattern with Kurt's life though, the good start to the year did not mean that the pleasantness would continue and it did not.
It was a single moment of inattention at the bi-annual Parent Teacher Conference that had opened up the gates to Hell. He had went with his father as he had done since middle school in order to translate from teacher-speak to Burt-speak. They had just finished covering the formalities, as that was all that was needed in regards to Kurt's sparkling academic record, and Kurt had for once decided to indulge in some of the refreshments that had been provided by the school (damn puberty and the burgeoning appetite it brought with it) when it happened. His dad had been preparing to leave in order to get to bed early so that he could open the shop early in morning when he saw her. His father had cut himself off mid-sentence which drew Kurt's assessing eyes from the plethora of finger foods at the table to his father's distant gaze. By the door was a pack of women that the young teen had named the Single Mom Club and he had assumed that it was one of those women that Burt had been dumbstruck by. So he had swallowed the still lingering grief and encouraged his lonely father.
"Mom would never be mad at you for finding a bit of happiness after her death, Dad. Go ahead."
Kurt gave his father a gentle nudge and turned back to grab the last few cubes of cheese to go with his carrots and crackers. When he turned back around to make sure his dad did not need to be saved from making a fool out of himself, Kurt froze for a long moment as he recognized the woman that his father was openly flirting with at that moment: Carol Hudson. Oh hell, that was just what he needed after last year's debacle involving that woman's son, Finn. He was tempted to walk over there and completely trash the whole situation until he saw the look on his dad's face. There was a spark in his eyes that had not been there since before his mother died and Kurt was not going to be the one to snuff it out. He would suck it up and do everything he could to see his dad happy again. He would give them a few weeks to see if it actually went anywhere and then he would see about burying the hatchet with Finn. He did not want any misunderstandings between them when the time came for them to become a family. Kurt had already decided to just get over his crush as soon as he had been outed and seen the look on Finn's face when people were talking about it and this situation just reinforced his determination to do so.
After almost a month of dating between his dad and Carol, Kurt decided that their relationship was the real deal. Therefore, Kurt chose to befriend the woman that made his dad act like a teenage boy in love as well as to show her that he supported their relationship and what it might mean for the future of all of them. He helped her move her wardrobe and her look into the twenty-first century and gave her some inside advice about his dad. He also asked, for the moment at least, that she not ask for Friday night dates because those evenings were of special importance to Kurt. Carol had easily agreed and had lived up to that agreement because even though she did not know the reason behind it, she did see and sense how much it meant to Kurt. For Kurt, this just continued to impress upon him how good of a choice his dad had made and it made him like Carol all the more. He could see her as a potential step-mother and he already saw her as a friend. He would make things clear between him and Finn because he could honestly see where this was going and he wanted to make the transition as smooth as possible for all of them when the time finally came.
His first step was to deal with Rachel and her scheming despite the fact that Finn already had a girlfriend and was fairly happy with her. While the rest of the club seemed oblivious, the teen could see a plotting diva from a mile off because like notices like. It was why he and Berry could not stand to be in each other's presence for more than an hour at a time. And if he got some retribution for that scene she had caused in eighth grade that had ended with him being stranded on the roof of the school for six hours, well that was just a bonus. Kurt picked up his phone to make a few phone calls, he had a scheme of his own to accomplish.
The look on her face had been priceless when she had approached him and even though he knew that she had tried to use his diminishing crush against him in order to hurt him, the only thing he could think was that it was more amusing than anything. It proved to him just how quickly he was getting over his schoolboy crush on Finn and using his amusement to fuel him he had responded quickly and cuttingly.
"I know that I will never be on his radar because he is not gay, Rachel. However, unlike you I do not sabotage people for my own personal gain or to the true detriment of others. Finn has a girlfriend that he is happy with and you should be ashamed with yourself for wanting to come in between them while they are together. I merely made you over to look the same on the outside as you look on the inside: home wrecker. Even I have more respect both for myself and others than that." Before he could begin laughing in front of her at the look of absolute indignity on her face, Kurt excused himself to get to class. Now he could move on with one disaster averted, at least for the moment. He had no illusions that Rachel would not try again when the opportunity presented itself.
His next course of action was to attempt to become friends with Finn as he was working under the assumption that Finn knew that his mom was dating Kurt's dad. His conclusion was not without support as the couple had been talking about moving in with each other, so he figured it safe to believe that Carol had told Finn about the new developments in her love life. However, his assumption was proved false when Finn, in the middle of the crowded hallway, had dressed Kurt down about his nearly void crush on the jock. Even though he had wanted to be nice, his Ice Queen façade rose to the fore and before he could reign it back in, he had revealed to the glock the fact that their parents were dating when it was clear that Carol had yet to tell him and most likely with good reason. As soon as lunch came around, Kurt left a message on Carol's phone that he had let slip her relationship status in the heat of the moment and apologized for doing it without her permission. He also informed her that Finn had seemed rather upset by the revelation and that when the two had had a chance to talk, he would like the chance to apologize to Finn as well. Needless to say, glee was very tense that afternoon and Rachel was just a smug little bug in the corner at her perceived victory over him in regards to the football player. Things seemed to get better after that, but underneath the surface it was not so.
After dealing with his father's over enthusiastic bonding with Finn and the jock moving into the basement with Kurt, the flamboyant teen could feel the sinister tendrils of something waiting beneath Finn's veneer of tolerance for their current living situation. It became more palpable as they dealt with the week's assignment for glee: Theatricality. It came to head one night when Burt had taken Carol out for a nice, relaxing dinner since she had spent the last eight days working as a favor for a friend. Kurt had redecorated the room and he had honestly tried to mix their two extremely different styles tastefully, but without Finn putting in any input it had been a bit difficult. It had also failed spectacularly if the jock's reaction was any indication. Any lingering feelings Kurt may have had for the other had died a quick death in the moment that he had said the F-word and in order to stop the vitriol that was spewing venomously from Frankenteen's lips, Kurt had quickly told Finn in his Ice Queen voice that by the end of the week all of the other's concerns would be addressed and a solution found to resolve the issue.
"Tell my Mom and Burt I'll be at Pucks tonight." The jock packed his duffle and then quickly left the basement.
Kurt did not give him any indication that he had heard the order, but waited until he heard the door shut to his basement before he gave in to the tears that had gathered in the corners of his eyes. He had received a startling revelation tonight and he needed to deal with his emotions before he attempted to deal with the problems that Finn had with him and especially in living in the same room as him. He spent a good hour wallowing before he forced himself to begin taking down everything in the room. What he could not return, he would incorporate into his previous room design and whatever money he got back he would give to Finn so that he decorate for himself.
After Kurt had informed them of Finn's whereabouts for the evening before closing himself in his room, Carol had called her son to make sure that he was okay and let him know that he could not run out on school nights like this. She was willing to let it go this time because she had sensed that something had happened and that both boys had needed their space. What she learned during that phone call was a bit upsetting but she was also going to give Kurt the benefit of the doubt because she knew that her son was prone to overreacting. This did not mean that she would leave Burt in the dark about it. She resolved that tomorrow she would talk with him and if necessary they would sit both of the boys down in order to get both sides of the story. The next morning she sat Burt down at lunch in the privacy of his office at the shop for their talk.
"Finn implied that Kurt has been making him uncomfortable." She tried to state plainly so as to give the conversation its due seriousness, but delicately because this was Burt's son and a very serious allegation.
"Did he say what specifically was making him uncomfortable?" Burt asked with caution. He did not want to jump the gun in anyway because it could mean hurting either one of the boys unnecessarily.
"He told me about Kurt's crush on him, the 'anonymous' notes in his locker, and he said that Kurt had been trying to look at him while using the bathroom. He also implied that Kurt was trying to 'convert' him last night when Kurt had revealed the new décor for the basement." Burt took a deep breath and held it for several long moment before letting it go.
"I can't say whether or not Kurt still has or has ever had a crush on Finn. What I can say is that no matter how strong Kurt may come off as to other people, he is fiercely protective of family and he has come to see both you and Finn as family. He would do everything he could to make sure that the both of you are happy even if it causes him to suffer. He is very much his mother's son when it comes to the people he loves. Secondly, the notes were anonymous. Ask anyone to describe Kurt, and anonymous is not a word that comes to mind. If he wants something done, if he wants someone to notice him, he stands out rather than hiding behind a piece of paper. For all Finn's knows, those notes could be from a girl that is too afraid to talk to him face-to-face. Lastly, and please don't take this the wrong way, but they have to share that bathroom just as they share the room. If it was not for the fact that Kurt was as queer as a two-dollar bill, I doubt that Finn would have the same discomfort of sharing the bathroom as he does right now. I know my son and for the fact that he is gay, my boy is still very much naïve when it comes to anything more than kissing. Hell, the sexiest things he watches are his musicals and they if they so much as take their shirt off to imply sex, he covers his face or has to conveniently excuse himself to use the bathroom." Burt felt himself getting worked up at the thought of what Finn was accusing his son of.
"Okay, okay. I understand. I just wanted you to know how Finn was feeling because he does have a tendency to overreact and put his foot in his mouth. How about this evening we sit the boys down to see if we can resolve this or perhaps we should just start looking for a bigger house?" Carol interjected softly. She was not offended by what her boyfriend had said about her son because she knew the mentality he was exposed to at school, so she did not want Burt getting overly upset at teenage drama. She also did not want him to hear Finn during one of these moments without understanding some of his feelings behind it. Thus, she began to explain more in depth about what her son had told her of Kurt's crush. Burt's answer had been silence and so, she left in order to give him time to think.
By morning, Kurt was short on sleep and temper, but the decorations were down. He drifted through school, barely noticing his bullies beyond the fact that they had decided to escalate from merely shoulder checking him to getting in cheap shots at his arms and kidneys as he passed along the hallway. It was not hard for him to figure out why as Finn had gone to stay with Puck and it was more than likely that he had been painted as yet another predatory gay despite the fact that he had never approached the other teen in that fashion. It was these events that pushed Kurt to seriously consider an idea that he honestly was not yet ready to even think about. However, the events of glee that afternoon forced him to think seriously about it and decide that it was something that needed to happen soon.
"Kurt, did you seriously go all gay on Finn last night?" Mercedes Jones, his brown sugar fellow diva, asked before he could even greet her. Her question was not silent either and the entirety of glee turned to look at him while Finn was conveniently absent from the room along with one Rachel Berry.
"Why, hello to you to Mercedes. I had a wonderful day today. How about you?"
"Don't pull that with me. Answer the question!"
"No, I did not go all gay, as you put it, on Finn last night. We have to share a room for the time being and I tried to decorate it so that he would feel more at home, but as you must know, it was a complete failure." Kurt replied deadpan. He was tired and this entire confrontation in glee club, his supposed safe place, was not helping in the least. Mercedes got that look in her eye that just bespoke of her knowledge of Kurt's moods.
"Baby boy, I thought you had gotten over your crush. You're about to become family-" At this point, Quinn stepped in on her soap box.
"It's one thing for you to be what you are and everyone accepting your choice, but that does not give you the right to force your lifestyle on others." Kurt looked at her, around the room and then at Finn and Rachel as they finally entered the room with Mr. Schuester just behind them. He felt bile rise in throat as his heart sank low into his gut.
"I made a bad decorating choice, I did not and have not, at any point, attempted to force my 'lifestyle' choices on Finn. I do not have feelings for him anymore and even if I still did, I do not believe in the concept of rape." Kurt stated firmly, but he could already see that the glee members had drawn lines in the sand and it appeared that he was going to be all on his own for this one. Once again, Rachel Berry just had to stick her oversized nose into business that was none of her own.
"That's not what Finn says and he doesn't have any reason to lie-" She began and the effeminate teen cut her off quickly.
"I don't have any reason to lie either, Rachel. I have not now nor have I ever attempted anything towards Finn with more than platonic intentions."
"You sabotaged me!" She accused and there Kurt realizes that it was her that had informed glee of their disagreement. She and Finn had been hanging out a bit since Baby-gate, after he had released his anger at her for telling him, and there was no doubt that he had complained to the little dwarf about all of his problems with Kurt.
"You were trying to get him to cheat on Quinn!"
"And you were the one that introduced your dad to his mom so that you could get closer to him!" She screeched. The gleeks and glocks gasped in shock. Before Kurt could refute, the argument was terminated.
"Enough!" Mr. Schue finally interceded, but it was too late. The damage had been done. All Hummel had to do was look at all of their faces and especially Finn's to see that they were connecting dots and reaching conclusions that painted him as nothing more than a predatory gay. Even 'Cedes was looking at him as if she could not help but doubt his claims of innocence.
"Kurt, a moment please?" Mr. Schue asked as he opened the door to the office and the teen could do nothing more than obey. As soon as the door shut behind him, the teacher put a gentle hand on his shoulder before speaking softly.
"Kurt I understand what it means to be a young teen, but you have to understand that here things are not exactly accepting of your orientation, right. Whether or not you did anything," his expression clearly said that he believed that Kurt did do something, "it would be best if you just apologized to Finn so that we can put this whole thing behind us. Okay?" Kurt gaped at the man for several long seconds before he could pull himself together.
"No. I did not do what I have been accused of and I refuse to apologize for something I didn't do, for being who I am. You said glee was supposed to be a safe place for everyone, so why do I have to say sorry because of their prejudice?" Kurt could feel the tears building as well as the anger and the need to call the man out on everything he had done wrong so far.
"It is a safe place for you Kurt, but I also cannot make everyone happy all the time. This time the odds are just not in your favor and this close to regionals we don't need any more drama between the members. Please just apologize or…." The gay teen felt his anger reach boiling point, one wrong word away from becoming full-fledged rage.
"Or what?" Kurt sneered with his acute sense of foreboding. "…Let me make the decision for you; I quit." Kurt gripped his bag tighter, shrugged off the man's hand, opened the door and stormed out in righteous fury. As he left the glee room, he slammed the door with a force that only a slighted teen could manage. He needed to get the hell out of Lima, out of Ohio before it smothered him to death with the thick stench of homophobia.
As soon as Kurt arrived at home he set about cleaning out the second bedroom upstairs. It had been a nursery for him and then an office for his mom, but in recent years it had become a sort of memory room for him. When the Hudsons had moved in, Kurt had not yet been ready to give up that space and his dad and Carol had been content to build the addition onto the house in order for him to be able to keep what was left of his mom close. He took all the pictures, her favorite dress and a few pieces of jewelry she had had and stored them in his room to keep close. The rest of it he began to fold away carefully and sorted for either the Goodwill or the dump. Once he had everything sorted, he went to garage where his dad kept boxes on hand, set them up and began packing them with the things that would be given away. After he taped up the last box, he went down to the kitchen to get some trash bags to fill with all the items that had not made it to his room or into a box. He was so focused on his work that he had not noticed his dad and Carol watching him from the doorway until the final bag was filled and he was ready to begin moving the bags to the curb for pick-up.
"Heya buddy. Watcha doin'?" Burt asked as Kurt finally noticed their existence. The older man could see the tension rolling through the teen frame and it worried him a bit. That and he had been so adamant that this room remain untouched just a couple of weeks ago and now he had all but cleared it by himself. Something had happened, and Burt Hummel was hoping that it had less to do with the conversation he and Carol had just had than a semi-reluctance to give up his memory room.
"You were right dad. I need to accept that things are changing, that they will never be as they were so that I can move on. So Finn can have this room. It's better than spending all that money on an extension or even a new house and all the memories and tokens I want I will keep in my room. So everything in a box goes to charity and everything in a bag goes out. You can do whatever you want with the dresser and whenever you have time, you and Finn can move him up here. I would appreciate it if you make sure that he knows that he will be decorating his room himself." Burt was stunned and he could not help but think that this had more to do with last night, but for the moment he decided to let it go and not look a gift horse in the mouth.
"Thank you, Kurt." Both adults told the teen sincerely before they both moved in to help the youngest member of their family with clearing out the room.
It had been a long night, but between Kurt, Finn and Burt, they had moved all of the jock's furniture and clothes up two flights of stairs into the second bedroom. Finn had even apologized to Kurt and thanked him for what he had given up in order to make the glock more comfortable. Hudson had also promised to not to be so sensitive towards Kurt after Burt had played referee between the two boys and Kurt had told them plainly that he had just wanted to be friends with the other teen since their families were living together. The situation that they had been in was one that he had sincerely wanted to avoid and he told Finn and his dad in no uncertain terms, that his crush on Finn had died the moment he had learned that his dad was interested in the jock's mom. Despite this reconciliation at home, no such thing had happened at school or even for glee club. Kurt had already decided that he was not going to return unless they apologized and since it seemed that Finn was not going to man up and tell the club the truth, he decided to move on to greener pastures. In particular, he decided to take Coach Sylvester up on her offer and re-join the Cheerios. The fact that it would get the football team to back off with their violence was a nice bonus and an extra incentive.
For a while, things were decent again as Kurt had less bruising than even before the Finn Incident although Coach Sue had replaced them with screaming muscles from brutal practice routines. She had also increased Kurt's lung capacity to an inhuman level since she expected him to do a fourteen minute French medley of Celine Dion songs whilst doing the same routine as the Cheerios. She even had him singing while being one of the flyers on the team (do you know how hard it is to carry a melody while performing a basket toss)! Despite the excruciating and time consuming practices, Kurt was able to lead the Cheerios to their 12th National Championship with a five minute live-broadcasted interview immediately after. He had felt on top of the world and it had carried him through an entire day despite the ever present bullying until he had gotten pulled from class by Mr. Schue and Miss Pillsbury.
His dad had had a heart attack and fallen into a coma due to the lack of oxygen to his brain before he had arrived at the hospital. Kurt had almost fallen apart when it came to the thought of losing his dad and even though the glee club had come together to support his dad, it had been on Finn's behalf, not his. It also damaged his relationship with his once best friend Mercedes even further because he was an atheist and she a devout Christian. It was just another nail in the coffin of Lima, Ohio for Kurt and he found that he was also losing his faith in people in general. The entire situation had given him a new appreciation for his dad and Kurt promised himself that he would work with his dad a little more. Time was a precious commodity and it was not guaranteed to anyone and he wanted to know, when the inevitable time would come, that he had spent all the time he could with his father. It was even more important to him since he was still planning to leave Smalltown, USA as soon as he could possibly manage after graduation and visits would be far and few between on a student's budget.
After his dad had been released, Kurt had found a golden opportunity to make a new friend in the new kid on the block. Since he was new, Kurt had stayed back to watch as he got the lay of the land and was pleasantly surprised that the new jock even knowing about his sexual orientation, did not harass or ignore Kurt's existence. So the gay teen decided that he would actively try to make friends with him and had started with teasing the guy about his hair color. Sam Evans had responded with mock indignation and proceeded to confound Kurt with various impersonations of his favorite characters from movies to comics. It was nice to have someone that looked passed the fact that he was gay and did not assume that his every action had some nefarious intent behind it. However as all things in Kurt's life up to this point, his newfound happiness was not meant to last.
Finn had tried to persuade the new football quarterback away from Kurt first because he sincerely had the guy's best interest at heart. He had tried using his own story as evidence but the shorter teen had just called him bigoted and close minded. He had then proceeded to tell Finn that as Kurt's supposed brother, it was his job to look after Kurt and not hurt him by trying to stop him from having male friends just because he happened to be gay. Kurt had not once made a pass at Sam in any manner and Sam believed that the diva was funny, smart and very kind despite the hate that he faced every day. When Finn had retorted that he was just painting a bulls-eye for bullying on his back, Sam had just asked the taller teen to leave because he obviously did not use the ears attached to his underdeveloped brain. With his attempt at persuading Evans away from Kurt a failure, Finn went after the source of the perceived conflict.
"Kurt, he is not like you. You need to leave him alone."
"Sam is my friend Finn. How could you even ask me that?" Kurt was indignant. Where did Frankenteen get off telling him who he could and could not be friends with considering the fact that he was partly at fault for the fact that Kurt's previous friends were not even acknowledging his existence?
"I may know that you just want to be friends, but no one else will see it that way. You are making him a target just like you. If you really wanted to be a friend to him, you would make sure that he doesn't have end up hurt because out on that field a lot of accidents can happen. No one would be blamed for it either."
"That is a horrible thing to say, Finn. Friendship is a two-way street you know and it is not like I just walked up to him without him knowing what he was in for. He knows I'm gay and he knows what being a friend to me might mean for him and unless he comes to me himself and says that he doesn't want to be friends, our conversation is over. Now please leave me alone because I'm sure your talking to me might lower your status in front of your jock buddies." Kurt stomped off in fury as he replayed Finn's words in his mind over and over again. He had forgiven Finn for the last stunt because it was one thing to accept that someone was gay and another thing entirely to live with it, but this was just inexcusable.
Kurt decided that talking to his dad was his best choice of action. He was sure that he might do or say something he would regret if he did not vent his anger productively. He found the house empty when he got home because Carol was working a double and Finn would be busy with football for the next hour or so before going out with Rachel or maybe it was Quinn again. He was not really sure any more as the other teen bounced between the two girls like a whore turns tricks on a corner. His dad was sitting on the couch watching TV as he continued to recover from his heart attack and prepared for his stress test in less than a week. Kurt dropped his bag at the door in a worryingly out of character move before curling up on the couch next to his dad. After several minutes of silence, Kurt began to tell his father about the encounter he had had with Finn that day.
"He implied that I was trying to prey on Sam and then tried to say that I would be at fault for anything that happened to Sam on the football field just because I was associated with him." Kurt huffed another annoyed breath but he had to admit that he did feel better than he had when he walked through the door.
"Is Sam gay, Kurt?" Burt asked softly as he did not really want to offend his son on such a sensitive topic.
"No. He's been trying to get Quinn Fabray to notice him but she is still hung up on Finn."
"I'm not saying he's right, but perhaps you should give Sam the chance to get more settled before being friends with him. He is under the microscope right now and the other students will be looking for anything to terrorize the new kid over." Burt tried to explain reasonably.
"So you're saying that I should not be friends with Sam because I'm gay." Kurt's voice had gone flat and blank.
"No! I'm just saying that with everything that has happened recently that he should just get the chance to be more settled before you go after him." Kurt's eyes went cold and his face was stone as he pulled away from his dad.
"'…Before I go after him.' You think I went after Finn and now I'm trying to go after Sam," Kurt held his breath for the answer to his statement. Burt looked everywhere but at his son as he tried to think of a way to say what he meant without hurting his son's feelings too much.
"Well after the disagreement you and Finn had, Carol and I were talking about where Finn's feelings of discomfort were coming from. That was when she told me about the crush and about everything that had gone on before and around the time we met. You were not exactly blameless, Kurt. And you were the one to introduce us, so…to an outsider, like most of the school, it looks kinda bad." Burt finally looked to his son and what he saw worried him. The teen had completely closed down. His eyes were staring coolly at his father, his lips in a thin line that reminded him of his wife when he had said something or done something he really should not have and his shoulders were hunched in making him smaller and look younger than he actually was.
"I do not remember introducing you to Carol, but I understand what you are trying to say," was all that Kurt murmured in a tightly controlled voice before he got up off the couch, grabbed his bag and disappeared downstairs while his father watched with a heavy heart from the couch. It looked like he had messed up, but he did not feel like he had done anything wrong. He had just wanted to Kurt to see what it had looked like from an outsider's point of view. He hoped that allowing him time to cool off and think would ease the tension and upset he had seen as the teen left the room. Otherwise, he had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do. He could not allow Kurt to play the victim all the time because it would become an excuse every time he did not get his way, but he also did not want to do anything that would hurt his son.
Downstairs, Kurt allows the pain and anguish to wash over him, letting his tears of hurt and frustration spill over before burying his head in his pillows and screaming with all of his fury. However, his decision had been made and the next day he would talk to Sam and cut off their association. It was better to be alone semi-voluntarily than to have another person taken from him due to the prejudice of everyone else. That night there was no rest for one Kurt Hummel.
A/N: Alright...chapter 2 is now up and I hope that everyone likes the fic so far. As I said before, this is my first Glee fanfic and all constructive criticisms will be thoroughly appreciated even if not utilized during the writing and editing of further chapters.
Cheers!
Nama