Out

Chapter: A Change of…

Disclaimer: I do not own nor make any profit from the writing of this fiction.

Kurt had never dreaded school more than when the summer had ended, he had had to quit his job at the Lima Bean because he would no longer have the time. All too soon, the first day of school arrived.

In preparation for surviving the next and final year of his high school career, Kurt had decided to hold himself back by packing away his normal wardrobe and donning his 'McKinley Attire.' His new school look more closely resembled that of the guys at McKinley and Kurt hoped that it would help him to stay off of the radar of the 'elite' students. So it was to the shock of many that Kurt showed up to McKinley on a Monday morning in dark denim, straight-legged jeans with an equally non-descript, dark purple t-shirt (both were still designer as Kurt refused to stoop so low as to shop at Wal-Mart for anything that was going to touch his well-cared for skin).

His hair was brushed neatly back away from his face though some of it had fallen back onto his forehead and into his right eye. It was not as bothersome as he had thought it would be because the trade-off for having less product in his hair was well worth the slight distraction that it provided. He skin was paler than it had ever been due to a lack of sun over the summer break as well as the fact that he had foregone adding color to his face after his moisturizing routine that morning. Kurt Hummel had transformed; so well, in fact, that many of the students he encountered did not recognize him until he spoke to return their greetings. It also meant that he had managed to escape the harassment of the various jocks standing around the dumpsters that morning (he had still brought three changes of clothes just in case).

By the time lunch rolled around on the first day of school, everyone knew about Kurt's new and (to them) improved look. It was all anyone wanted to talk about, especially the kids sitting at the Glee table which Kurt had not returned to. He had chosen to sit by himself instead rather than return to the glee 'family' that was even more dysfunctional than his own and most of whom were still actively shunning him. It had become the general consensus that the school approved of the young Hummel's more gender appropriate look and attitude.

To go along with his down-graded appearance, Kurt had also restrained himself in that he no longer provided his scathing commentary on the lacking fashion of both the guys and girls of McKinley High. He had remained unnaturally quiet in his classes, not even correcting them when the teacher made a mistake in the lesson or misspoke about some fact or another. And so, Kurt passed the first day of school without much hassle except one hiccup when Coach Sylvester came down the hallway while bulldozing unfortunate freshmen, who did not know to scram, out of her path and zeroed in on him. All she had done was give him his Cheerios uniform back and told him that he was expected at practice that afternoon and that she had already 'cleared' it with his doctor. Kurt had merely sighed softly once she had disappeared from sight and continued on with his day.

Kurt dragged himself slowly and gingerly through the door of the house as he wondered whether or not it was worth Sue's wrath to quit the Cheerios. Today had reminded him of the hell of her domain as his overworked muscles ached in places he had forgotten existed and he did not particularly enjoy the reminder of them. He had also brought home another surprise as one Sam Evans walked softly behind him into the Hudmel household behind the teen that had confused him for the longest time. The second string quarterback had demanded that he and Kurt talk because he wanted an answer as to why the gay teen had not only backed out of their partnership, but had stopped even acknowledging his existence before and even after he had left for Dalton Academy.

In an uncharacteristic display of untidiness, Kurt dropped his bag next to the couch before slowly trudging into the kitchen for water and healthy, pre-portioned snacks for him and his guest. Just as slowly he returned with his arms shaking slightly with the effort to hold up the meager weight. Sam was quick to spot the other's muscle fatigue and take the goods from him, setting them down on the coffee table before Kurt dropped them. After enjoying the light snack with a bit of awkward small-talk, Sam changed the topic to the reason why he was there.

"I want to know the real reason why you stopped being my partner. Was it something I did? After the duet battle, you wouldn't even look at me let alone speak to me unless it was for a glee project. I had thought we were getting along really well and then you just disappeared." Sam started off passionately, but became quieter as he went on and he traveled back in time through his memories. Kurt huffed a bit, but let a bit of the cat out of the bag so to speak since Sam was the one to approach him this time rather than the other way around.

"Everyone could see how into Quinn you were and since she was still clinging to that Finn drama, I thought that it would be a great idea to give you a reason to approach her. At that time, I believed that you needed each other and it did work out for a while. Until the Finn drama reasserted itself, but I don't regret helping you get to know her." Kurt shrugged his shoulders as though the whole matter had not been that big of a deal despite the hurt that he endured during that time. Sam did not buy the story at all because he remembers that Finn had approached him before Kurt had and after getting to know the guy, hearing some of the things that he has said about Kurt, the bottle-blond knew that the Cheerio was just trying to sell him a load of fluff.

"Tell me the truth, Kurt. Finn had more than one hand in the basket, didn't he?" Kurt snorted at how close to and yet how far the other was from the truth.

"He did not say anything that wasn't true, Sam. Don't worry about it."

Kurt struggled out of his seat as he moved to gather up his bag and dump the dishes in the sink in the kitchen. Once more, Sam intervened on Kurt's muscles' behalf. He carried the tired teen's bag up the stairs and into the neat bedroom that clearly belonged to Kurt. They may not have known each other very well before all the drama happened and Kurt transferred, but Sam did know enough to be suspicious of the drastic change that the other had undergone. It was nice to see that Kurt had not been truly defeated even though his change of wardrobe might suggest such. After placing their bags on the floor behind the door, Sam waited patiently while Kurt cleaned up and changed in his en suite before continuing their conversation.

"Why don't I be the judge of that? You were the only one that was truly kind to me from the get-go and then Finn comes in and all of a sudden you're colder than Siberia." Sam did not approach Kurt, but his folded eyes and set expression made it abundantly clear that he was not leaving the subject or Kurt be until the gay teen had come completely clean. Kurt's shoulders slumped in tiredness and minor defeat.

"Finn was the one who wanted to set you up with Quinn. He was the one to suggest," Kurt could not keep the inflection out of his tone, "that you would be good for helping Quinn get over their relationship and he could date Racheal without the continuing cat-fights between the two girls. In the end, it benefitted everyone, not just Finn, you or Quinn (at least for a while)." Sam was still not buying it. Something about the story just did not ring true for the diva across from him. Kurt could be surprisingly selfless, but when he was determined to do something, nothing stood in his way and Sam knew that he had been resolute in having a duet with Sam those long months ago. He continued to give Kurt the same glare his mother did when she knew he was hiding something from her. Finally Kurt seemed to implode and dropped ungracefully to sprawl across his bed.

"You were the new kid on the block and Finn was just trying to protect you from the infectious 'gay' of McKinley High School and the inherent danger that was sure to come just from us acknowledging each other's existence." Sam looked at Kurt with unbridled shock.

"Wha-what? Kurt-" Sam was in disbelief that Kurt had given in to such threats when he had certainly not done so before.

"If it had just been about me, I could have cared less, but to be the cause of someone else getting hurt is not something I enjoy. I would never put anyone in a position to be harmed when I could have done something to prevent it." Kurt uttered passionately. Sam gathered the Cheerio into his arms for a hug before pushing him back slightly and shaking him gently.

"You should have told me Kurt. Caring for others, being friends…that's a two way street and you don't get to make those kind of decisions for me even if you think it is in my best interest."

"They tried to break your arm at practice!" Kurt cried, but Sam remained unmovable.

"Yeah…and? My being friends with you has nothing to do with them and their issues. If they want to cause a fuss, then they can dig their own graves." Kurt looked into brown eyes with incredulity.

"You don't get it. If you are considered 'gay' or an associate of one, no one here cares about what happens to you. The state police got involved in my case and yet no one was prosecuted, no one at the school was punished, there was nothing. No one cares about homosexuals and who they associate with. In this town, in this state they would rather see us dead than to even entertain the thought that we are just as human as they are!" Kurt ripped himself out of Sam's grip, pushing the jock back.

"I think it is time for you to go. Please, just stay away from me."

"Kurt-"

"No, Sam. I just want to survive my senior year of high school, so please…I am asking you as a friend to just leave me be. I'm tired of being hurt and hanging out with you is just going to invite more trouble. Please, just please…go away…" Kurt continued to mumble, tears sliding quietly down his face as the bottle-blond slowly gathered his things and reluctantly left the Hudmel household. There was so much more he wanted to say, he wanted to convince Kurt that this was not the way to do it, but he did not really understand Kurt's feelings or where he was coming from. Kurt had suffered all of his life in Lima and if he could do anything to ease that pain just a little bit, he would even if it meant suffering a little himself…even if it meant doing what Kurt had asked.

When Sam finally left, Kurt shut his door and locked it so that he would be able to cry without being crowded by an overly concerned Carol, his worried father or a resentful Finn. Even though he still desperately wanted to be Sam's friend, the jock did not understand the horror that Kurt had suffered through not only recently, but all his life here in this backwards town. Puck may be a friend now, but even he understood that there was no way that they could be friends in public. If they wanted to talk or hangout they had to use Santana and Brittany as a medium due to the inherent dangers of what the two of them caught 'alone' may be. Next time, Kurt may not survive the mobbing that would be punishment for attempting to 'convert' Puck. Sam could not see that, did not understand that and it was for this reason that Kurt pushed him away completely. Once the gay teen left his hellish home state, he would be freed of the chains of homophobia and he promised himself that no matter how much it would hurt, he would not come back.

The next day at school was not quite as smooth as the first, but it was still much better than any of his previous years at the schools he had attended in Lima. Kurt was slushied only twice and no one had been waiting for him that morning in order to toss him into the dumpster, which was a considerable improvement. Cheerios practice was as demanding as ever, but it kept him out of the house when he was not working in the garage with his dad or practicing his routines with Santana and Brittany while Puck threw out depraved comments (when he decided to grace them with his presence).

Things became even better for Kurt after he was once again recognized on national television as having contributed majorly to yet another National Cheerleading trophy for the Cheerios of Lima, Ohio. Most days he went without a single slushie and those days when he did get one, it was more of an afterthought, it seemed. It was calm and Kurt felt like he could breathe a little. He still did not approach anyone of the same gender unless he was accompanied by his two best girls or it was a class assignment, but he was more than okay with that. The true page turner that happened was between he and Finn after glee had yet another dysfunctional breakdown and Santana had taken the chance to rip the dim-witted glock a new one about everything she believed he had done wrong. Kurt, apparently, had been a major point and it had led to the tall teen approaching Kurt during one of the rare times that he was actually home.

Kurt had been recalcitrant to listen to anything Finn had to say, but he did so anyway because the tension in the house was unbearable. He was wary as the other teen fumbled with his words and meanings before it morphed into disbelieving shock at the fact that Finn Hudson was apologizing to Kurt Hummel. The gay teen had honestly thought such a thing would have never happened, that Finn would never see his actions as anything other than trying to prove a point to Kurt about his original way of expression. Yet, here they were, with Finn looking truly remorseful and contrite, and Kurt could do nothing but forgive the oversized teen. This did not mean he would forget…no, hurt stays with humans much more clearly than happiness, but for the sake of their family and the sake of his father, he would forgive Finn and he would make the effort to mend broken bridges within the Hudmel household.

As the days had passed on and Kurt faced little to no harassment from the jocks, he began to relax just a bit. After Finn's apology and his subsequent proof by action that he was sincere, Kurt believed that it was time that he re-incorporated himself into life at the Hudmel house. He started off small with attending Friday night dinners again. After a couple of awkward dinners, Kurt participated in conversation without much hesitation and things were beginning to normalize back to what they had been used to. Burt had taken the initiative to keep this newfound peace going by spending more time with Kurt with just the two them like it was before the Hudsons had joined their family. It might be a movie here or a lunch over the weekend there, but it meant the world to Kurt. However, the teen refused to re-open the conversation that happened the year before. Even though he may not have meant it to be malicious, Kurt was hurt all the same and he refused to reopen that wound. It was better for his and his dad's relationship if they left Kurt's sexuality out of the equation. It would forever more be large pink elephant between them. They acknowledged its existence, but they would not speak of it, allude to it, etc.

And so it was that Kurt's days passed peacefully…well, as peacefully as he could expect being the only 'out' gay student in Smalltown, USA. However, as was always the way in these small, backwards towns, there is no true peace for those that are 'different.' This semi-peaceful existence that he had both within and without of school was just the eye of the storm, the quiet before the noise, the peace before the war, the tranquility before the destruction.

A/N: Hey guys. I know this chapter is a little shorter, but I feel that it more than made it's point. Things are changing and even I have no idea where they are going to end up. Thanks for all of your reviews as they have kept me motivated and focused. Continue to let me know what you think.

Cheers!

Nama