One of the many things about Earth that confused Zim was the desks for studious worm babies. In elementary school, he had more than enough room to place objects, there were even small cubbies convenient for placing blueprints for domina—uh, homework.
In middle school, they were significantly smaller, and the seats managed to be more uncomfortable. Sitting in human chairs were always bothersome for Zim, due to his pak. To prevent slouching, a condition most alien species consider apeish and inferior, Zim had to learn how to stretch. Now, in the "high" school, the desk was next to nonexistent. All Zim could place on these infernal plastic tables were a couple of papers and some pencils. Worse, it meant the desks were too small for him to mount on and announce his greatness!!
He assumed the desks would amount to armrests in "college". Why did human desks shrink? He recalled discussing this odd aspect of human culture in his monthly reports to the tallest, and they simply gawked in confusion. The irkens on both ends of the transmission simply agreed that humans were stupid and pathetic. (Sometimes the Tallests would listen to Zim's reports in interest, only because they grew to find human culture interesting. And by interesting, it was stupid and always fun to make fun of. It validated the notion that irkens were clearly the superior race.)
Zim stared at his desk, mulling over new ways to take over the humans. It had been nearly five years since he landed on earth, and still world domination eluded him—no, he was taking things at a nice pace! Mustn't rush anything right? As the humans say, slow and steady wins the race?
Eugh, Zim poked his pencil in disdain as he thought, I'm adopting earth idioms now. Being on this ball of filth is doing stuff to my amazing head.
To shake any more earth thoughts, he looked to the clock and stared at the hands. He soon realized that 1st period had started thirty minutes ago, and yet the teacher was still not present. Zim wondered if maybe the teacher had the misfortune of falling into the Grinkfunle trap he set up for Dib in the restroom. He hoped not, Grinkfunle traps were tedious to clean and reset, the blood likes to stick to the springs.
"—maybe you could go out with Zim?"
Zim's antennae instinctively poked against his wig at the mention of his name. He turned around from his desk to face a group of girls behind him, leaning from their desks to each other, whispering.
"Nah, I actually have my eyes on someone else. Don't laugh, but he's got really cute glasses and a trechco—"
Zim barked, "Who dares mention Zim?? what is this out going of which you speak?"
The girls glared at him for his eavesdropping and interruption of the confession, but then began to giggle among themselves. One of the girls, Zita, responded, "Hey freakazoid. We're just trying to see who Gretchen could date, we just mentioned you as a joke. She's way out of your league."
Another girl pitched in, "Know what Zita, I don't even think he's dated anyone before. Who doesn't date in high school honestly? That's so...
not normal."
"Pff, yeah," Zita said, "It's like he's...
not even human!"
Not human? Normal?! Curses! The pack of females were onto him! How could he have not known of this "date" ritual sooner? How was he supposed to know it took place during the high school years?
Zim heard the girls' cruel laughter echo in the classroom, nearby students looked in confusion, the tick of the clock seemed to pound—it was almost time for second period, if anyone was paying attention.His false lavender eyes shrank in fear, he began to sweat under his scratchy wig. He couldn't have his cover blown now! He had to ease their suspicions somehow, until he found someone to "go out" with. For now, he decided, he'd simply lie to stall for time.
"FOOLS!!! I wasn't clear on your terminology for "going out", my culture is, eh… we have a different way of saying it, yes! but I now that you have explained it to me, I can indeed confirm I am dating someone! Oh what dating I am doing with this person, yes! And tomorrow I shall—ACK"
Zim made the mistake of mounting the desk behind him. Since it happened to be unoccupied, Zim's weight against the flimsy wood made him fall. The girls ceased their laughing halfway through Zim's speech, but they burst out even louder after he fell. Finally, the bell rang and everyone began to leave towards the door.
Zita murmured to the girls under her breath as they left, "You think he'd learn from freshman year not to mount on the desks. What an idiot."
Omg I'm not dead, can you believe it?? Y'all thought I forgot about this fic huh? (IdidactuallyI'msorry) I've been busy with fbla and uil art competition, but now that those are over I can finally chill... before I have to worry about my AP tests in may hhhhaaaaaa
But mainly, I didn't know where I wanted to go with this story. I thought of the middle but not the end, and I had to write an outline of what I want to establish for each chapter. I'm gonna try and do consistent updates every week so I don't get rusty on my writing or forget my main story points :p
As always, feedback and critique is appreciated! 3