Collective clangs and tinks against the unwashed tiles echoed down the hall. What was it? Was that…
"metal?" Panted a frail little freshman.
He dared a glance behind him to see if that short green senior was close. He couldn't see him, but the sound was coming closer. He guessed it was a metal bat that Zim would use to smash his head in, but the sounds were in succession…. he couldn't possibly have more than one metal weapon on hand would he?
The "foreign" student was entirely unpredictable, and this unfortunate freshman wished his upperclassmen friends had warned him of Zim sooner. Everyone knew to generally avoid that big headed kid, but no one knew when it was safe to even stand 10 feet near Zim. Some days he was quiet, invisible, one might even say observant if they cared to look. Other days, he seemed bent on causing destruction towards others. This little freshman was oblivious to everything of course, and never noticed Zim until that stupid prep rally three months ago. A while earlier, he had run into zim– literally. He was on a mission to relieve his bladder after saving up his one hall pass privilege for an entire year, and didn't see him crossing the hall outside of his class. Zim took advantage of this and began to ask if the freshman was aware he was "on a date". Frankly, he didn't care to stay and chat, muttering a "yeah right" and pushed him aside.
If he ever got out alive, he'd make sure to to never accuse Zim of being wrong again.
A sinister laugh echoed from everywhere at once, "You dare defy Zim? You claim that Zim is without a date?"
He whimpered, never finding the courage to retort. Where was he? His vision was clouded by his dripping sweat. If he was near, he couldn't hold his breath even if he tried, the air around him felt too hot to think. He found himself at the end of 8th hall, with no where else to turn. Pressing himself against the wall, he waited.
Zim's voice was closer, and clearer, " I hope you enjoy nightmarish visions of flushing toilets, you filthy human worm!!"
The freshman gave a yelp, his pants suddenly warm. He inched towards one of the massive air vents embedded to the wall to dry himself.
Big Mistake.
Something from inside the vents, cold and sharp, grabbed his forearm and stole him inside. His scream pierced throughout the school, and died within seconds.
Those accustomed to Zim's antics hardly batted an eye. Others shivered, worried they may be next. One thing they all knew was that no one was safe. It didn't matter whether a student hid in the forbidden teacher workroom or retreated to the deepest bowels of the underground classrooms. If they were within a mile radius of Skool grounds, an alien of the shortest stature would find them and announce, "Did you know that I, Zim, a normal human boy, is going out on a date with someone?". Few students dared to scoff at this sad, green "child", and word quickly spread that these students disappeared for good. It appeared Zim struck again, and the students were getting sick of hearing this declaration over and over. Some hoped that Zim's zeal would die down, but those who've shared classes with him since grade school knew better. For all they knew he could go on for the rest of the school year.
The bell rang for lunch not long after the freshman disappeared, and the halls were flooded with grimy adolescents within seconds. Try as they might, their collective chattering could not drown the distant sound of a crying preteen, and an overflowing toilet.
xXxXxXxX
Gaz wasn't sure how abominations like skool lunch could be any worse, but Zim was a pioneer in ruining things.
Gaz could hear him from across the room, repeating his lines like a practiced Jehovah's witness. She tried to ignore him by focusing on the pizza that Foodio made for the Membrane siblings (a Naples-style pizza with bubbling crust, a favorite in Milan apparently). She was grateful that her father accidentally stumbled into the skool lunch online menu when he really was trying to see his children's grades a few years back. He commissioned Foodio to make Dib and Gaz lunch ever since, and even built an anti-skool-lunch lab next to the anti-santa lab. Gaz appreciated Professor Membrane's sentiments….however extreme and weird they were.
The pizza was warm in her cold hands and the steam patted her cheeks. She didn't realize, but her lips curled upwards ever so slightly.
"I'm so glad our kitchen burned down when we were kids," Dib said as he lifted the pizza to his lips, "Foodio's one of the best things dad invented."
"You said it Dibwad." Gaz replied, never taking her eyes off her slice.
Across the table, Zim was scoping out students that seemed like they had forgotten his status. He knew which students to pick based on how they looked at him. If they seemed fearful and skittish, he had already talked to them. However Zim glanced at Old Kid, and saw no such reaction.
Old kid simply gave his signature elderly wave, and said "How ya doin greeny?"
Zim blinked. Then, he clasped his hands together, and gave an evil sneer. His sweet tone betrayed his appearance, "Oh, greetings Old Kid!"
Zim quickly made his way to Old Kid's table and sat across from him. Zim gave a toothy grin and tilted his head to the side to appear more friendly. Zim batted his eyes saying, "Did you know that I, a normal human boy, am going out on a date?"
Old Kid grimaced at the display. As genuine Zim tried to seem, he came across as very off putting. His smile was too wide, his violet eyes completely opened. Old Kid shifted in his seat, and rearranged his cane. He moved his plastic spoon towards his jello– the only food besides soup he could eat without hurting his gums.
Old Kid gave a nervous chuckle, "O-oh, is that so sonny? Well I remember back in '18 when I went on a date with this fine young gal. Yep, some gal she was."
"uh huh, sure." Zim said. He cocked his head back upright and slouched into his seat, losing his facade. In truth, Old Kid was a very boring and wrinkly individual. Zim lazily scanned the lunchroom and found that a group of goths in the back were staring at him with lidded, uninterested eyes. He raised himself up and gave a zippered grin. More students to inform!
"Well this talk was very enlightening and I would love to hear more about your dating experience, but I have some informing to do, good day elderly adolescent!" Said Zim, speeding over every word.
Zim extended his hand to shake, but in his haste, karate chopped Old Kid's jello that sat in front of him.
Old kid gnashed his gums and angrily yelled as angry as an old kid could yell, "My jello! That was my lunch you bafoon! AUGH! GET AWAY YOU BLASTED GREEN BEAN!"
Old kid grabbed his cane, and began to hit Zim across his face.
"Ow! HEY!"
Zim tried to shield his head with his small arms to no avail. He then decided to duck beneath his seat on the next blow. Old kid lost his balance, not expecting to miss. He fell from his chair and let go of his cane, and it flew all the way to the membrane siblings's table. The entire lunchroom watched in impending horror as the stick seemed to fall in slow motion. One of the rubber tips of the stick hit Gaz's pizza right in the center and knocked it clean off her hand. It landed on the floor with a deafening splat. The handle of the cane hit Gaz's forehead and finally fell on the floor besides the Pizza.
Zim faced towards the siblings and immediately froze in his mounted position on the table. Old kid whimpered from his cradled position on the floor. The only noise that could be heard was the soft buzz from the red fluorescent lights that dangerously hung from thin wires.
Dib was the first one to break the silence and said, "Gaz! Oh m– hey, are you ok?? I think foodio packed us an ice bag for our drinks, lemme help with the swelli–"
"No. I don't need it. Lay off." Gaz spoke with a low, thundering voice.
Gaz sharply turned her head towards Zim, so hard that Dib swore he heard a shotgun sound emit from the bones of her neck.
Zim weakly lifted his hand and said, "Ahh… FOOLISH ELDERLY CHILD! LOOK WHAT YOUR IGNORANCE HAS DONE!" Zim eyed Gaz nervously, hoping that his performance would persuade her to take her anger on Old Kid.
"This stupid boy is clearly at fault! I was only trying to calmly tell him that I am dating!"
Gaz rose from her seat and began to hover over the table. She floated towards the corner of the table to face Zim. He broke into a sweat and tried to control the trembling in his arms by balling his fists, but it barely helped. Gaz was a few inches away from Zim, and amber irises met sapphire irises.
"Oh, you're dating someone, huh? pfft. ok."
Every student opened their mouths in shock. No one dared to scoff at Zim unless they had a death wish. Zim felt his blood boil. Yes, his fists were trembling, but it was for an entirely different reason now.
He narrowed his brows and shouted, "You dare scoff at the amazing Zim?"
This stupid little girl had pushed him far enough. She denied his plan to wrench her brain, she sabotaged his ingenious abduction of Dib years ago, and she somehow managed to beat him to a pulp either verbally or physically whenever they crossed paths. As leery he was of the girl, he was accustomed to her aggressive nature. In fact… he was so accustomed that perhaps he had some confidence in finally destroying her. Zim took notice of Gaz's chest and realized that the leftover waves from the hiatus times left him slightly taller than he usually was today. He smiled evilly to himself at this advantage–yes, he could pummel her in a thymol of a redsquat now that he came up just below her collarbone. His internal battle functions began to warm up the lasers inside his pak. If she was asking for a fight, then she was going to get one.
" I'd choose your next words carefully, human."
Gaz's jaw tightened to the point that her cheeks went red. Did he really just challenge, no, threaten her? After all those years of beating him, heck, even doing a better job of taking over the world than him, he thought he could land a single hit on her? And… why was he looking at her chest like that… and smiling? Was he…
Oh. that. was. it.
"You keep going on that you're dating someone, that you're normal. But how about this Zim,
who is your date? where are they?"
The internal machines stopped whirring. He retracted his brandished claws and his narrow eyes grew wide in surprise. Well. That was unexpected.
"i-uhm. It's– she's…"
Zim felt the heat from her gaze and looked at anything other than her blazing eyes. Zim saw the students whispering to themselves, realizing Zim always gave vague details and could very well be lying. So this was her approach this time! Exposing him in front of his peers while she pressed him on. A part of him wished that she would just punch him and call it a day. How did the students classify as long range relationships again? He tried to compose every thing he heard of this type of relationship from conversations he heard in the halls.
"She goes to a different unit of learning, but we always keep in touch on the line!"
That was a decent save, she figured. Still, she heard the shakiness in his voice and knew that she could push him further. His confidence could only take him so far.
"Ok, so she goes to another high skool. Show me a picture of your date then, Zim." Gaz sneered.
"...what?"
She saw Zim stiffen and take a step back. He was finally cracking. Time to land her final hit.
"What? Everyone takes pictures with their date Zim. it seems like up to now you haven't had any proof of you dating anyone."
The whispering within the cafeteria grew louder. Some kids even gasped at this revelation. Many began to look back and forth between Gaz and Zim, wondering what either would say next. Dib grew teary eyed at his sister's display of hostility. He reveled in the rising air of doubt surrounding Zim. He clasped his hands together and was truly proud of his sister in the moment.
Gaz tore through Zim's contacts and drank in the fear that streamed from his real eyes. She gave a low chuckle and teased, "Why Zim, you can't even tell us her name!"
Zita spoke up, "Yeah, She's right! Who even is your girlfriend dorkazoid?"
"Yeah freak," a boy called from an adjacent table, "are you lying?"
"He's gotta be. I mean, he doesn't post about her or anything. That's so not normal." came another voice.
"yeah, and he is standing." called a zit ridden girl.
Those final words hit Zim like a ton of earth rocks. He looked around to see questioning students gazing at him like… like he's an alien. He took one glance at Dib, and saw his zippered grin as he began to take out his alien handcuffs. He was practically feeding off the doubts of the students as they spoke out.
Zim felt the crescendo of voices pound against him. He looked back into Gaz's eyes– ugh! why did they have to be so huge? His pak emitted a warning signal to his lenses, saying that his atmosphere processor was shortening.
He found himself panting. He couldn't look at her anymore. He couldn't face Dib's sickening grin. He couldn't think of what to say to the lunchroom full of doubting children. He couldn't believe a simple accusation from Gaz left him so exposed, and he had felt prepared too. Why couldn't he defeat her? Why couldn't he ever win?
He gave a shriek and bolted towards the doors, waving his arms madly behind him. Zim ran past the skool building, never slowing down. He never broke his strides and soon found the horizon revealing his base. His sweet, safe, armed base.
He was well beyond her reach, but he swore he heard her dripping laugh just behind his antennae.
xXxXxXxX
Gir scanned his cards carefully. A joker, a queen, a hippie, and an ace. His next move was imperative, and after 6 hours calculating his options, he finally made his move.
"I call uhh,
uhhh,
UHHHHHHHHGGHAUGHHH I CANT DO IT MINIMOOSE! YOU WINNED!"
Minimoose gave a squeak of victory and set down his cards. A joker, a queen, a hippie, and a crudely drawn bug. Damn, the house computer thought as his arms began to put the cards away, he is good. The computer detected an irken pak coming in quickly, which meant Zim was on his way home. If he had eyeballs, he would roll them out of their eye sockets in malcontent. The computer reluctantly signaled the door sensor to release the roboparents as soon as Zim stepped into the lawn.
The roboparents whired from inside the house and launched from their closet. They made their way to the entrance and peaked outside the peephole, and were crushed as Zim abruptly opened the door. He clenched his fists and angrily pointed a hand to the sky.
"My plan has been foiled! The students doubt my normalness more than ever before!" Zim said in a hoarse voice.
He marched over to his henchmen's side and dragged them along with him. He stopped at the coffee desk next to the kitchen, and an elevator lift emerged from the bottom of the floor. Zim kept his face in a pout as they descended, and never loosened his grip on Gir or Minimoose.
Minimoose gave a squeak, to which Zim replied, "I'm glad you asked minimoose. We're going to assemble a new plan to make me appear normal in front of my peers. At this stage of growth, they're concerned with my "dating status". Now that I have been exposed by that wretched, female purple, I need to come up with something more engenius than what I had before!"
The lift gave a chime and the doors opened to the computer room. Sometimes Zim retreated at this part of the base to contact the Tallests or study earth video games for extended amounts of time (you can never do enough research with human simulations!), but he loved this room the most for one purpose: scheming. The miscellaneous sounds from machines built on his home planet put him into a trance. The floors were wide enough for him to pace back and forth without running out of room.
"Computer!" Zim called out.
A voice coming from everywhere only gave a groan in acknowledgment. He was too uncaring to answer back.
"I need suggestions for a new way to get a date! It seems like I need to provide physical evidence of some sort to keep the students at bay."
The computer snapped into obedience mode, "Understood Sir! I have carefully calculated two options for maximum dating status. The optimal one is this sir: I will find you a real human girl to date, one that is most compatible with you. Drag her around you cluelessly in hopes of fooling your peers. Hilarity ensues."
Zim brought his hand to the folds between his eyes and pinched them. He slowly inhaled and brought his face up to respond.
"oh! what an interesting idea computer. But you seem to forget that I tried this and FAILED WITH TAK YEARS AGO!" Zim shouted, "WHY ON THIS EARTH would you THINK I would easily do this again? With an actual human at that?? What is wrong with you computer?"
Zim turned to his henchmen in hopes of a better idea, and saw Gir laughing besides minimoose in insanity.
Gir squealed, "Ooooh I wanna see the hilar-it-y en-sue! You should grab an old lady's pigtails! I do that and I go flyin in the air, WOO! Or date someone who'd punch you to a barbershop. How about that scary girl that lives in Dib's ears?"
"NO Gir. No way I would ever date that purple human. Her and her haunting eyes. Her eyeeees!" Zim said.
Minimoose had an idea. He wasn't sure it was entirely foolproof, but it was totally better than what the computer and Gir had in mind. He gave a squeak. Zim's eyes widened. It sounded… not painful. He rubbed his chin in thought and contemplated this idea further.
After a brief moment, he said, "computer, display potential blueprints and scheme outlines for this plan that Zim clearly made just now!"
He started to examine the scrolling screen when his eyes grew scratchy. Zim hardly realized he kept his stupid disguise on this whole time, and quickly tore his contacts and wig off. He gave a grunt a tossed then aside for the sweeper to pick up. He turned back to his enormous display to read the details of the plan. The bright screen scrolled a mile a minute, information in his native tongue reflecting in his glossy eyes.
Zim gave a low chuckle that slowly grew into a laugh that reverberated throughout his entire base. As it began to die down, he rubbed his hands with glee and furrowed his eyes.
"Yes… this will do quite nicely."
xXxXxX
y'all thought you knew where this was going, but I have pulled the rug from under you, you fools!
yeah I'm finally getting back to this piece after being gone for a decade. ;p And to compensate, I made it even longer! I really like how this chapter turned out, I loved describing the tension between Zim and Gaz.
Also, Zim wasn't being a perv at all, I hope you caught that. _ Gaz just severely misinterpreted his reactions to being a little taller due to the waves.
What is Zim planning? guess you'll find out next chapter ahuhuhu~