A/N: Oh dear folks… it would appear that in the last chapter I made a pretty huge blunder (thank you to LilyandJames767 for pointing this out) in the fact that Owen was behaving as if he was still alive… I have no idea how that slipped my mind, all I can say is sorry and that I must have been extremely tired when I wrote it! And the fact that I started remembering how when me and my friends were small we used to cram as many people as physically possible into a double bed at a sleep-over and thought it would be adorable to play on this concept…. :) I am not sure whether to just leave it and beg for your forgiveness, or to re-write it so it fits properly? If you have a strong opinion either way drop me a PM or mention it in a review. Anyway, hope you like this next chapter! Hannah xxx
Bloody Captain Jack Harkness is so very VERY lucky that he cannot die, because I am in a mind to kill him. My favourite suit is absolutely completely ruined beyond repair and it's all his fault.
Persephone our little mermaid had been in our care - somewhat melancholically swimming around in our tank, feeling saddened to be away from her home in the Aqua Marinas Peninsula in the Galaxy of Lake Shadow with all her friends and family - for a good few days now and Jack decided yesterday morning that seeing as the rift seemed inactive enough, and UNIT didn't need our help currently, and Miss Smith seems to have dropped off the map for a bit, that it was high time we set about looking for her transportation device.
None of us were entirely sure how to go about looking for it exactly, after all its buried in the ocean and comprised of sea shells, but then Tosh suggested that we tried scanning the sea for signs of non-human technology but there were two problems with that idea: 1) according to Jack we would get a many more search results from that than one might expect and 2) Persephone had informed us that it wouldn't register as alien as the tiara had a protective shield around it. We sat in the conference room brainstorming for a good few hours, in which time much coffee was consumed, shooting around many ideas, some useful and some jovial, but we had no joy. Owen even suggested texting or ringing Gwen but Jack, Toshiko and I myself forbade him from doing so under any circumstances – it's her honeymoon, she deserves a little peace, and besides, did he really want to deal with an angry Gwen when she arrived back? Unfortunately however, the dismissal of this very last idea left us with no other choice but to look for it manually. As in, to dive to the bottom of the ocean and search for one very well camouflaged needle in a hay stack.
The only silver lining to the whole situation is that at least with the help of Persephone's detailed descriptions we were able to generate a computer image of what the tiara should look like.
Tosh had some useful connections, one of her cousin's husband's friends… or something obscure, worked out in Southerndown as a fisherman, and somehow Toshiko managed to ensure us the use of his boat for an entire day. The plan was to sail his boat out incredibly early in the morning at a time which would make Owen, if he still slept, whine at the thought of being awake never mind working at such an hour, and take it to the place where we found Persephone initially and search and search until we found it. Owen was to be our designated diver, despite Jack's early arguments against the dangers of it, as he made a rather convincing argument: he can survive for as long as he likes down there without oxygen so we run no risks of his being injured due to a problem with an air tank running out or gaining a puncture etc. Thankfully it's still far too gloomy for normal people to be out walking on the beaches and Southerndown is a fairly quiet spot anyway, so we were lucky to avoid intrigued passers-by as we were on the day we found Persephone of course. Well, we had Sarah-Jane Smith was back watching us again, but I'm not so sure we can count her as normal – as lovely as she seems – who ventures out to the beach in early February?
Anyway, we took the boat out as planned and Owen got kitted out into diving gear, inserted the camera contact lenses so we could see if he was getting closer to finding it and inserted the new water resistant to 2000m comms system that Tosh (and I to a certain extent) had been working on, so we could keep in contact with him and try to help if at all possible… even if he couldn't talk back, for obvious reasons.
He'd been down there for at least three hours before Sarah-Jane turned up on the scene, I had thought that with her lack of appearances over the past few days that she may have given up whatever she had been doing, but no, she was back again. We were reasonably far out from the shore, so all that could be made out was the shadowy outline of a female, but Jack had though to bring binoculars, I'm not sure I even want to know what he uses those for normally, and a quick check confirmed that it was indeed her. Jack shouted out towards her:
"You can come and join us if you like!", making hand gestures and everything. She either didn't see or didn't care because she remained in the same position, just watching us.
In these three hours we hadn't made much progress. Owen had been down there searching dedicatedly but we had always known that this could really take a long while; it was just pot luck as to how close we were getting to finding it. In between helping to guide him or just generally observing his movements, we were working on our own little projects; and when I say we I mean Toshiko and I, Jack was just wandering about the deck of the boat looking bored. He had originally been doing a rather amusing impression of a ship's captain, but after forty five minutes it was more amusing than annoying. We both suggested to him that he actually did some work, but he simply scowled at us and continued to pace up and down the length of the boat, making us both feel rather uneasy.
And that's when it bloody happened. Clearly the boredom became far too much to bear for our Captain and rather than getting on with something useful as we had hinted he decided that it was time to resort to tickling. It was irritating from the offset. He knows exactly how ticklish I am, and the exact places to cause the most annoyance, and wouldn't relent until I was literally lying down on the deck of the ship, breathless and begging for him to stop. Of course, Tosh was giggling away all the while. When I could eventually manage to stand up to lean against the side railings of the boat for support he struck again! Though this time I remained standing up, pressed against the edge of the boat and noticed a familiar and disconcerting wicked gleam grace his eyes. He was bored and up to no good, and I knew exactly what kind of no good.
I cried out for him not to do it, but it was too late, we were already tipping over the side of the boat and plummeting the few meagre feet towards the surface of the water. Both of us are strong swimmers and it wasn't a large fall, in fact it's barely worth being classified as 'a fall'… more of a push anyway… and to be quite honest, if the circumstances were different and I had been wearing anything but that suit, and it hadn't been February, then I probably would have found t quite funny and actively encouraged it as I really rather love it when Jack is spontaneous. But the circumstances weren't different and I was in my best three piece as we sunk below the surface.
Within a matter of seconds we were up and out, clinging on to each other, Jack seeming to have regretted the action by the look on his face that was illuminating how truly cold it was, but still managing to laugh a little somehow. I however, was far from amused, never been further from it. We closed the small gap between us and the boat quickly and hurried up the ladder back on board, shivering a little as we went. Toshiko was stood on deck, mouth wide open, eyes matching her mouth, one hand resting just below he lower lip and the other behind her head, completely in shock…. for all of four seconds before she burst out laughing, doubling over with tremors and encouraging Jack to do the same.
"I hardly think it's funny" I muttered to myself.
"What was that?" Jack asked through laughter.
I just scowled back at him.
He rolled his eyes. "Come on, we'd better change out of these wet clothes or we'll catch our deaths! Well… you will" He winked.
It was my turn to roll my eyes then in response but reluctantly I agreed that hanging around in sodden clothing probably was not a very smart idea.
But, as if things hadn't gone horrifically already, I was faced with a dilemma – what on Earth to where instead. Jack, well he was 'alright Jack' as the expression goes, wasn't wearing that coat of his when we took our tumble and so simply removed his damp shirt, t-shirt, trousers and underwear and placed his coat on tope concealing everything. I on the other hand had to make do with what I can only assume was a spare sail draped around me; at least it covered me up well enough. I could see the corner of Jack's mouth twitching every now and then as he glanced towards me, clearly fighting the urge to break out into laughter, and I'm glad he refrained because I may have become quite angry if he did.
The only good thing about our expedition today was that Owen did indeed manage to retrieve Persephone's lost transporter shortly after the boat incident. He swam eagerly up to the boat and triumphantly climbed the ladder aboard, an expression fixed upon his face as if he were about to gloat that he had recovered it, but then he noticed me sat there adorned in my sheet, irked one eyebrow upwards and said:
"Do I really want to ask?" I rolled my eyes for the umpteenth time that day.
We're back at the hub now, and I've hidden myself away in the archives for a bit to try and cool down (or rather warm up) before we send Persephone off on her way. Jack did try to apologise as we walked back in through the cog door carrying our clothes in balled up sodden messes, the pair of us leaving a slightly damp trail from our still wet shoes and me now damp sheet. I was potentially coming around to just forgiving him, Jack is perhaps my one weakness – I can never stay cross with him for very long, no matter what the subject of conflict – and was fairly certain that even though it was my favourite suit… one more glimpse at that 'I'm-sorry-let's-please-go-and-have-awesome-make-up-sex-now pout' that I may just give in.
"Well we can continue this after we've showered!" I shivered beneath my sheet.
I made to walk up to his office, and then down to his en-suite, but he started following me. I whipped around quickly.
"And that was not an invitation!"
"Oh come on! It was only a suit!" He tried to reason with me.
I just sighed and continued walking. Only a suit. ONLY A SUIT. It was my favourite suit… and now it's going to be our favourite dusting cloths… yippee… so basically, I know I'm probably being a bit petty but he is not being forgiven yet. No way.
Goodness! This afternoon/evening's events have turned out to be Justas eventful as this morning's! Both were not altogether positive experiences (this morning especially…) but it's been wonderful to have such an active day despite the kept promises of lack of rift alerts and lack of UNIT.
After we had just reunited Persephone with her tiara and sent her safely (fingers crossed) back to her home – for which I was a little sad about, it had been so exciting having such a beautiful and non-malicious alien guest, and she had been incredibly interesting to talk to – there was a knock at the door. Well, sort of, it was more of an intruder alert at the door… but you know same difference. Immediately we all fled from the cells and ran upstairs, guns drawn ready to face whoever or whatever was entering our secret base uninvited. I don't know why it was so surprising to us that it should be Sarah-Jane that had somehow found her way in, thinking about it logically now she was probably the first person we should have guessed at it being, after all she had been stalking us for almost a week. Never the less, we were all a tad startled to burst into the main floor of the hub to find, not a Weeping Angel, or a Dalek, or something we hadn't come across yet – but a human woman; as a collective unit we lowered our guns.
"Ah of course, typically Torchwood all guns blazing" She grinned. Moving slowly towards Owen she extended a hand "Hello, you must be Dr Owen Harper" She declared as she shook his hand, flinching a little at the cool touch; he shook back hesitantly. She motioned towards Tosh next, "Oh and Toshiko Sato, yes I've been admiring your work" She smiled again shaking the timid Tosh's hand now. Next she came towards me "Ianto Jones, though of course we've already met. I must say, from what I've seen I much prefer you as you are when working… and no impersonating the general public of Cardiff" She shook my hand as I blushed, awkwardly remembering my lie. "And you, you must be Captain Jack Harkness" She said, motioning to shake his hand too, but he stopped her and turned it in to a kiss on either cheek "I've heard a lot about you" She finished.
"I wouldn't have it any other way" He grinned. "But you should know… you're building up quite a reputation of your own!"
She laughed a little in response. "I wasn't sure if you'd know who I was or not"
"Ah you underestimate the Doctor, he's still telling stories of his little Sarah-Jane"
"That was so many years ago now… though I did meet up with him recently actually, and Rose… she was quite a girl, to tell the truth I was a little envious of her… still young and travelling with him." She mused wistfully.
"She certainly was quite a girl… and as for the Doctor, well things with him never change! Always some gorgeous girl or handsome man by his side!" Jack winked.
"Was?" Sarah-Jane picked up on.
Jack winced a little then, "Parallel world" He whispered.
"Oh." She frowned "At least she's still alive thought right?"
"I sure hope so"
"Sorry to break up this pretty picture." Owen cut in suddenly, having recovered from his slight shock at finding our security breech to be not, in actual fact a deadly alien, but an inquisitive woman instead. "But what the bloody hell is going on?" He directed the question towards both of them.
Miss Smith spoke first, "I just couldn't give up on aliens after the Doctor left me here on Earth, couldn't bear to lose all of it just yet, so I carried on investigating under the disguise of a journalist" (so that explained the whole 'I want an interview' thing a few days ago then…) "Looking out for anything unusual and hoping that this would allow me to discover what I was searching for. I heard about Torchwood a few months back, Torchwood London though, heard about all of their policies…. how 'if it's alien then it's ours', how every alien must be a threat, how guns must always be present… how the Doctor was an enemy… and decided to investigate. I didn't like the sound of an organisation like that one little bit, and wanted to investigate further. But when I began doing some proper research and found out what happened at Canary Wharf that awful day, I was prepared to give up; satisfied that such an organisation was no longer running. However, then I discovered something on a 'Captain Jack Harkness" She turned to face Jack now "A most unusual man, histories spreading out across hundreds of years, with various criminal convictions, numerous mentions of him association with the doctor… and most importantly he was head of Torchwood Cardiff. Every piece of information I could find on you suggested that you were very different to London, much more 'alien friendly' and anti-attack… but now I arrive to find you pointing guns towards my head… and I'm not so sure" She laughed light heartedly.
"We don't normally greet people like this" Jack sort of apologised; gesturing towards our lowered guns, "It's just normally we don't get a lot of visitors, and the kinds we do get a rather unwanted" He smiled.
"Hmm I'll give you the benefit of the doubt" She smiled.
Silence swept over the room for a little bit before I spoke up, hoping to rectify the wrong footing that we got off on: "Can I get you a cup of coffee at all? Tea? Chocolate biscuits?" I offered, noticing Jack throw me a look of discontent when I mentioned the biscuits, they were his but after all I was still a little cross with him.
"A tea and a biscuit would be lovely thank you" She smiled as I went off to prepare it.
I returned mid conversation between her and Jack "…So, while you're here and convinced that we're relatively harmless – as we are of you – would you like to stay for a tour?"
"That would be lovely! And thank you" She said directing the last part towards me.
"Owen, would you care to do the honours?" Jack asked much to everyone in the room's surprise, but none more so than Owen's.
He looked about to protest, but Jack's pleading look intensified into one of strong commandment and he quickly re-thought "Uuh, yeah, sure of course. Well, we can start downstairs" Owen said, gesturing the way to Miss Smith who followed, tea in hand "We did have a mermaid down in the cells up until just half an hour ago actually, but now she's been sent…" His voice trailed off as the pair moved further and further away.
"No Ianto" He turned to face me. "Don't give me that look!"
"What look?" I wasn't aware that I had been 'doing a look'.
He rolled his eyes, "Never mind, I just need to know, have we got any level 36 retcon, the kind with the 12 hour delay on the sedative in stock?"
"I believe so"
"Excellent. I think that Miss Sarah-Jane might be wanting another cup of tea before she leaves!" He winked.
"But why?" I asked. "If she isn't a threat to us and she clearly isn't going to tell anyone else about what she's seen here… then why retcon? After all she's already seen so many aliens…"
"She might not pose a threat to us now, but who knows what might happen in the future? Besides, the Doctor probably wouldn't want me getting to pally with her, he says I'm a bad influence on people… that I corrupt them" He winked.
"He's right!" I replied. "I'll get one pot of tea and one pill of retcon for the end of her tour then."
About forty five minutes later, the kettle was just boiling and Owen and Sarah-Jane were now walking down from Jack's office.
"So you're really dead?" I heard her asking him.
"Sort of, well I was, but this fella brought me back to life… sort of" He gestured towards Jack grinning.
"Yes, and I'm starting to regret the choice…I just found another one of your 'experiments' down the back of the sofa!" Jack replied.
A short while later, and Sarah-Jane Smith was on her way out, completely unaware of the fact that she was going to catch that train back home to her home in London and go to sleep tonight with memories she wouldn't have tomorrow. It's a shame in a way that she couldn't have kept them, but I see Jack's point – it's too risky to have people outside of Torchwood or UNIT or the government knowing too much about us, no matter who they are.
After she left I went down to the lower level cells to rid the huge tank that had held Persephone for that last few days of all its salt water. I couldn't help feeling a little sad as I did it, sad that it might be a long while again now before we came across another genuinely good alien amongst all of those with evil intentions. For a minute I didn't even notice the footsteps behind me creeping closer.
"Hey… you hiding from me down here?" Jack laughed, but there was an edge of seriousness in there.
I turned to face him, "No, just flushing out Persephone's tank now that Sarah Jane's gone" I smiled back, I really wasn't too cross with him now… like I said, Jack is my one weakness…
He laughed lightly, "You fancied her just a little bit didn't you" his eyebrows wiggled.
"Who, Sarah-Jane? I mean don't get me wrong, after my initial thoughts that she was a bit of an odd one, stalking around us all the time, she did actually turn out to be rather lovely in the end… and yes, she's attractive for a slightly more mature woman, but she's really not my type…" I stumbled through.
"I wasn't talking about Sarah-Jane" He grinned.
My brow knitted together in confusion for a second… "What, Persephone? But she's a mermaid!"
"So?"
"So…" I began, thinking back to her long flowing blonde nearly white hair, pale and almost translucent shimmering skin and an glorious turquoise tail… she was incredibly beautiful yes, but a mermaid, and an alien mermaid at that, all the same. "That would be weird." I finished.
"No it wouldn't. You people really should… open up to other species, it's no crying shame, it's really not weird!"
"Yes Jack, it is a bit" I laughed, "and besides, how on Earth could I even consider something else of any species whilst you're in the room" I finished. I hadn't actually meant to say that last part out loud and now found myself growing very pink in the face very quickly.
He just laughed whole heartedly in response. "I take it you're not still cross with me then?"
"Hmmm no, not very much anyway" I smiled.
"I knew you'd forgive me sooner or later, after all I am your one weakness!" He winked.
"You complete and utter lower colon!" I said, hitting at his arm. "You've been reading my diary again haven't you?"
"Yes, but it's your own fault, you shouldn't leave it lying around" He teased.
"I didn't leave it lying around, it's either locked in my drawer at worked or under the mattress of the spare bed at home!"
"Ooh I didn't know about the spare bed!" He grinned "But well… I am surprised that someone as intelligent as you couldn't think of a better padlock code than their own birthday!"
"I picked it because I thought it was so obvious that no one would ever thin I'd actually chose it!" I rolled my eyes. "Clearly I'm going to have to come up with better hiding places!"
"No don't! I really rather like reading about myself, well, when you aren't cross with me anyway."
"Well I'm sure I can go back to being cross with you quite easily" I faked a little sense of annoyance in their now, just to wind him up a bit.
"Oh come on! I'll buy you a new suit if you like…." He offered.
"No, no you don't have to do that." I mumbled, touched that he's made the gesture and had actually understood that it had been more than 'just a suit'. "Besides, I doubt I could find one quite like that again."
"It's a shame, that one was my favourite" He said, edging closer and running a hand down my arm.
"Mine too" I looked up at him.
"It certainly fitted very well… but I must admit… I did rather enjoy that sheet!" He wiggled his eyebrows as gently gave him an elbow dig in the ribs. I never want to see that retched sheet again and Jack Harkness if you are reading this 1) I'm serious and 2) Bugger off!