Disclaimer: I take no credit in the characters within this story; those are the sole work of Mrs. Stephenie Meyer. I do, however, take credit for the specific, new traits I gave them and am quite proud of them.

AN: Well... obviously all my chapters are still unedited loves... but you must understand that my Beta is really really really stressed right now and the last thing i'm gonna do is put more on her! The point of this site is not to cause stress, but to create entertainment. And, now that that is out of the way, enjoy and review!

--APOV

"Bella?" I asked, staring out the door, surprised. Her eyes were a little puffy, but she had a smile on her face, as if there was nothing wrong. My stomach dropped a little; that was not good. Did she really want him to leave?

"Come with me Alice," she said, still smiling as she reached out her hand. I looked over my shoulder at Edward who was frozen, staring at Bella, his clothes posed over his suitcase. I had no choice though, I had to go with her. I slid my fingers into hers and watched as she smiled at Edward before waving and tugging me to her room. The minute the door closed I looked at her eyes and saw the pain well hidden.

"Bella, what is going on? Why are you letting him leave?"

She just shrugged, still smiling as she sat down at her bed, "It's for the best."

"What are you talking about?" I breathed, too shocked to be angry, "Bella, how long have you been in love with him? And now that you have him… your letting him leave because he is just as insecure as you?"

Her eyes peeled as she looked at me, "No, I'm letting him go because it is for the better."

I shook my head and went over to sit beside her. "Bella…"

"Don't talk to me like a five year old Alice, I'm not. I know exactly what I'm doing, probably more than you do. Do you think I WANT to let him go? Hmmmm?" the anger in her voice was tangible.

I was… shocked. Bella was never one for real anger. Not one for fighting. "I'm not trying to… I just want to understand to. I want to know what would ever lead either of you to leave the other after finally having them."

She sighed and laid back. "Alice, its just… required at the moment. It's what is supposed to happen."

"At least let him stay for a few more days. Don't let him leave while your both still so angry."

"I'm not making him leave. He can stay as long as he wants."

"He doesn't think that. He thinks you want him out,"

She rolled her eyes, "Alice, we have been friends for years. He knows that I'm not throwing him out."

"Are you sure?" I whispered, looking down at her.

There was a light knock on the door and I ran over to it, hoping for Rose, but finding Edward with a set jaw, "Okay, Alice, I just called a rental car company so you wouldn't be left with no way to get home. They will have it delivered in three days. Is that soon enough?"

I opened my mouth; he was so cold again. "Edward, come in here please."

"I really don't think-" he started, glancing at Bella who was sitting up now, looking at him.

I grabbed his hand and tugged him into the room, closing the door with a snap behind him. "Okay. I want you to both to stop, look at each other, and think!"

"Alice…" Bella said, shaking her head slowly, a warning in her eyes.

I ignored it. "No. I'm not kidding. Will you listen to each other? I mean really? What is wrong with you guys? You've been head over heals for too long now to let a single little misunderstanding split you guys! Why are you both so determined to ruin your own happiness? Bella, you want him to leave because you don't think you are good enough, right? That's always been your problem. And Edward, you think you have to leave so you won't hurt her, so she can have someone better, because you don't think you are good enough. Am I the only one who sees the issue here?"

Edward was staring at Bella again now, his frown deep. "I told you last night Bells…"

She shook her head at him, "I know Edward. Alice is putting words in my mouth."

"Please Bella!" I said, shaking my head. "There is no other reason you would want him to leave. You've never felt good enough for him and that's what you're acting on again. That's the only reason you can keep a smile on your face. You think its better for him if he leaves. So you're pushing him to."

Her jaw opened, an angry look on her face, then she turned and looked at Edward, shaking her head helplessly. He was watching her contently, obviously chewing on the inside of the cheek. "Don't listen to her Edward. She… doesn't understand. I do. I know what your doing and why. I'm sorry for what I said before. I really do understand."

--EPOV

She wanted me to leave. That was what she wasn't saying. She regretted it all. She was ready for me leave. I closed my eyes for a second and nodded. "Okay."

"Edward…" Alice was saying but, when I looked at her, she was shaking her head helplessly. "Stay for at least a few days… while Emmetts here…"

I smiled at her. "No Alice, I need to go. But I'll see you again soon."

She looked at Bella again who was watching me with nothing but neutrality I smiled as best I could, "Thank you for everything Bella."

She stepped forward and gave me a hug, nodding. I wrapped my arms around her loosely in case she pulled away. I felt her take a deep breath before whispering. "Come back whenever you want to Edward. You are always welcome in my house."

I nod, not trusting my voice. She pulled back and I dropped my arms, taking one last look into her determined, beautiful eyes. It would be awhile. I gave one last week smile and looked at Alice who was staring at Bella with shock. I wrapped my arms around my sister and hugged her as she gave an exasperated sigh. "You better keep in touch Edward."

"I will Alice. I promise." I said quietly before releasing her and leaving the room.

--BPOV

It was going to be okay. It was going to be fine. He was going to go and get what he needed and I was… I was… "Alice…"

She hurried to the bed as I sat down suddenly. "Bella. Let me stop him. Please. Don't do this to yourself. Don't do this to him. He wants to stay. He wants you."

"No…" I said, shaking my head. "Alice he needs…"

"You, Bella. He needs you."

I shook my head, blinking back tears. After taking a deep breath I heard Emmett in the living room. "Leaving? What do you mean your leaving?"

I took another deep breath and stood up, shaking my head. Alice looked hopeful as I walked out of my room slowly, staying close to me. Emmett was standing in front of the door, staring at Edward who had his suitcase by his feet. "Emmett I know what I'm doing. Just… let me out."

I bit my lip as I looked at his back, Emmett glanced over Edward's shoulder, looking at me. Waiting for the sign I suppose; was he staying or going. I swallowed hard, trying to make a quick decision. What could I do? I didn't want him to leave, not after I finally had him, but he still deserved more. And he obviously wanted to leave. No matter what Alice said, it was evident that he was trying to get out as fast as he could.

Seeing his brother gaze and turned and met my eyes, his face sad. I swallowed hard, fighting the urge to run to him, wrap myself around him, beg him to stay. I bit my lip, chewing on it, trying to wake myself up. Without taking my eyes away from his I shook my head a little, asking silently for him to stay. Not begging. Not pleading. Just asking. I saw something shift behind his eyes, though I couldn't tell any more than that. He didn't blink as he held my eyes, didn't seem to breath. The intensity in his eyes were a test, though I couldn't tell if I was winning or not.

"Edward, at least stay for dinner," Alice said, seeing her opportunity. "It's early. I was going to drag everyone to Ellensburg."

Edward quickly looked away from me and to his sister. It only took a second for him to nod. "Okay Alice. Dinner."

--EPOV

I don't know what possessed me to agree, but I didn't regret it after the words were out of my mouth. My eyes flew back to Bella who was looking down at the ground now, avoiding me. I lifted my suitcase from by my feet and went back to my room, brushing my arm against hers as I passed, just needing to feel her again for a second. Her head flew around, but I managed to keep myself from looking at her, making it seem accidental. My heart was in my throat as I walked through my door and set the case on the floor. The door closed with a little snap behind me and I spun, surprised. Rose stood there.

"Edward, can we talk?"

I sighed, "Am I going to get bitched out again?"

She laughed and stepped over to my bed where she sat down, completely at home. "No. I just want to hear this and I think it would be good for you to talk this out with someone that isn't in your family. I was going to send Jasper in… I still will if it would make you more comfortable."

I shook my head and shrugged, "No, its okay."

She patted the bed and smiled at me. "Edward, I swear to you that anything you tell me while we are in this room will not leave it, no one will know."

I sat and leaned back, looking at her. "I trust you Rose. What do you want to know?"

She smiled and curled her legs up under her, a smile on her face, "Everything."

I gave her a quizzical look. "About today?"

She shook her head, "From when you first met her. I want to know it all so I can understand. I mean, if you feel comfortable enough to tell me."

I stared at her for a minute, "Everything…"

She nods. "Yes. Everything."

I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to decide if I could do that. "I'll try…"

"That's all I can ask. Don't worry though Edward. Anything you say… it's just the two of us and I won't judge you."

I nodded, and decided just to get it out. Like she said, she wasn't family, and as long as it was just the two of us… maybe it really would help. "Okay, before Bella came I… wasn't me anymore. I felt kind of alone, and only Carlisle seemed to really get me. But everyone else, everyone outside my family, seemed so dull, so unimaginative. The day Bella showed up everything seemed to change. I can't explain it right…"

"Just tell me about it. When did you first see her?"

"At lunch," I said, remembering attempting to crawl out of my seat to get a look at the girl. "Alice was a lot like me, sticking in the family, but that day something caught her attention and she went over to talk to the new girl, Isabella Swan. I… didn't understand. So I wanted to see what she saw that was so extraordinary, but I couldn't get a look at her. After lunch Alice found me and started to tell me about her, how great she was. Alice is not one that is impressed easily, especially by girls, but she had really taken to Bella. It was the class right after lunch that I really looked at her… and god she was so beautiful. When I first saw her, met her eyes, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. And her seat was right next to mine." I paused, looking at Rose who seemed extremely interested in my little story. "I couldn't stop talking to her. She was brilliant, her mind seemed to work… differently. The way she spoke let you know that she was really thinking about her answer."

Not seeming to like my pause she scooted in, "Then what?"

I smiled as I closed my eyes, remember that week. "The entire week I became… a little more open. I talked to her and started actually smiling and laughing in school. No one understood, me included. I didn't understand my fascination, why this girl could me make me smile with just little glance in my direction. But she did. That first weekend after I met her we invited her to a barbecue so my parents could meet her and they fell as quickly as Emmett, Alice and I had. She just seemed to… fit with us. That day we got distracted from everything twice; once when she came up to my room to look at my cd's then again when I took her home to get her stuff after Alice insisted she stayed the night.

"Once we got back to my house, a few hours late mind you, Alice tried not to be selfish. She made it so we were all downstairs most of the night. That was first night I saw her dance, the first night I saw her laugh until she cried. I fell quicker, just the thought of her making me calm and happy. That was also the first night that I felt real jealousy. She acted different around Emmett than she did me, more open, more carefree."

Rose patted my arm when I paused, remember my irritation at my brother. "Keep going."

"I tried to spend more time with her, steal her from the others when I could. We had the most fascinating discussions; she has the most brilliant mind and way of looking at things. To her the glass in neither half full or half empty. She just wants to know why she's supposed to be looking at a glass of water."

Rose laughed and nodded. "Yeah. You know, I've read Bella's book."

I smiled, completely comfortable all of a sudden. "What did you think?"

She bit her lip and nodded, "I really enjoyed it. I mean, some of the banter was above my comprehension, but I think that it was for most of the readers. But we'll come back to that later. Keep going."

"We could talk about anything and everything, and we did. There was no subject not touched by us. And, even in these silences that would fall, they weren't empty. It was completely comfortable. I remember one time that I stole her and we went to the park to watch a meteor shower. She got cold and I wrapped her up in a blanket and just held her to me for three hours, neither of us moving or speaking. There was no one else in the world then. It was… just us and the sky. After I took her home I could have flown if I wanted to." My eyes were closed as I smiled, picturing her as she had been, tucked into my chest and leaning back her head to my shoulder as she watched the sky.

"Three years we were inseparable. Granted, she was supposed to be Alice's, but I spent more time with her in the long run. Alice would drag us all to the movies and after about ten minutes Bella and I would get distracted and just start talking quietly, usually leaving the theater without anyone noticing eventually."

I opened my eyes and looked at Rose, to see her smiling. "When did you know?"

I tilted my head, "Know what?"

"That you were in love with her?"

I swallowed a lump that formed instantly in my throat. I couldn't hold back now. "The night of the barbecue."

Her grin widened. "And when did you start acting on it?"

I shook my head, "Not for a long time. Maybe senior year. I think that's when I first used the word love in my head. But I didn't chase her. I couldn't. She needed, needs, someone perfect. Someone that is more like a lover than a brother. So I stayed quiet and just held her as close as I could. There were multiple days when I almost blew it, but one really sticks out in my head. Alice had told Bella not to bring her coat and it started snowing. We were in Port Angels of course, and Bella had preordered a gift for Esme, a beautiful locket made out of opal that she could fit four pictures into. But she had to walk to get it. So I wrapped her in my coat with me, under my arm, and she fit so absolutely perfectly that I never wanted to let her go." I shook my head. "After walking just from the mall to the car I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. But then everyone seemed to keep hitting on her, making her blush, making her feel awkward. The guy at the store where Bella was buying the necklace even had the nerve to stare directly at her chest as he spoke. She had nearly slapped him and I had been ready to rip out his eyes. But, we managed to get out of there quickly enough and she became a little more comfortable. Then the stupid waiter at the restaurant. And again at the gas station on the way home. No one could take there eyes off her and it was driving me insane."

"Because you were one of them?" Rose guessed, smiling.

I nodded. "I didn't want to be able to compare myself with them. It made me wonder what she could possibly think of me. She's so perfect and amazing and I was just like the rest of them." I swallowed around the lump again, forcing it down. "Then we graduated. I had every intention of telling her exactly how I felt then, but she was so distracted with getting out of town, with saving herself and Alice from the misery of Forks. The last day she was in town Alice gave Bella the option of going on a trip with Alice and her boyfriend, I can't even remember his name now –he didn't last very long- or staying at the house with me… she chose to stay with me. You can't begin to imagine how good that made me feel. We went up to my room and she was picking out the cds to listen to while I tried to build up my nerve. She ended up putting in the same cd that she had on the first day she had been in my room. Then she sat down with me on my bed and we started talking about the past. I was so close to telling her, I was just going to say it right out, tell her how in love I was, but she glanced at the clock and just… started crying. Like at first it was just a little frown, but within a minute her eyes went from glassy to crying full out."

Rose was bewildered as she looked at me. "Why?"

"That's why asked. She just tried to hide her face, to get rid of the tears, apologizing again and again. I stopped her, pulling her hand from her face. She stared at me for a minute then hugged me, saying that she didn't want to have to leave tomorrow. She didn't want to think about not seeing me again. I just held her and helped her get it out, telling her how much I was going to miss her too and that I would always come up to visit her and Alice. But we both knew it wouldn't be the same. And with her crying I just couldn't get out the words."

"When Alice got home Bella was asleep on my bed. I had pulled myself from her when I couldn't take the thought of her leaving the next day. She slept there that night and I ended up falling asleep on my couch, watching her sleep."

"And then she left." Rose declared, her face sad and drawn.

I nod. "Yeah, Alice already had their car packed so they said goodbye to all of us and drove to Seattle."

"And did you visit?"

"Once. That winter. They weren't going to be making it home so I went to see them, bringing their presents from the rest of the family. But after that I got so caught up in school, so lost in my studies. But I never stopped thinking of Bella. I focused whatever time I could on distracting myself from her or trying to convince myself that I was over her. I stayed away while I tried to cope. I was completely convinced that I was when Alice invited me to join her here. I don't think I've ever agreed to anything so quickly. Alice didn't tell her who was coming, just that it was going to surprise her. And she was indeed surprised. But not as much as I was."

"What do you mean?"

"Bella has always been beautiful. But when I saw her again, for the first time in years, she was breathtaking. Stronger than she had been. Her features even more pronounced. When I hugged her I didn't think I would be able to let go. But I did and I convinced myself that it was just from the shock of seeing her for the first time in too long. But I couldn't stop touching her, couldn't keep my eyes off her. I can't tell you how much I disliked Val when Alice took us to her favorite Bistro I the city last week," I quickly described dinner and how taken the chef seemed to be. "And everything else on top of it. I lost control. I didn't stop touching her, didn't stop flirting. I did everything that I could to be as close as I could. And then, a week later, I'm again determined to tell her how I felt, how I always had. I went into her room to wake her and…"

"And?" Rose pushed, seeming on edge.

"Well… I don't think I can tell you that. Its all for Bella. But either way I ended up kissing her that night, unable to take it anymore."

"And then we showed up."

I nodded. "Yeah, and I was proud of finally having her." I smiled, remember the scene in the Jeep. But I quickly faded. "But then the misunderstanding in the bar. Last night, when I went to talk to her, tell her what happened, she told me that she didn't think she was good enough, then I resolved to never hurt her again. A small cut and I won't. I can't describe to you the anguish that I felt last night when I saw her crying. I can't begin to explain how horrible it was for me to think about the fact that I had done it."

"And your leaving because you think that it's the only way to keep from hurting her again."

"Yes." I declared, "Bella deserves the very best man, someone that couldn't hurt her. I want her to find him."

"Because it's not you."

"No, its not. I've done too much already. And she wants me to go too, you know. She understands where I am coming from."

Rose laughed, "She doesn't want you to leave Edward." Her head shook back and forth. "What do you plan to do? I mean, after you leave."

"I don't know," I admitted with a shrug. "All I want is for her to be happy and safe from hurt. I don't matter. As long as she is happy, I am."

"Despite the fact that you are determined to love without her."

"Yes." She sounded just like Alice. That's not what I needed. "Because it is better for her."

"No, wait, I want you to get that right. It's what you think is better for her," she whispered. "You know, you are being incredibly noble in this, suffering for her, but you are also missing part of this."

My eyebrows went up. "What part?"

She sighed, "Her side of the story."

I was going to write more... but i can't at the moment. I'll get another chapter posted ASAP! Let me know what you think of his story! While i was writing it i felt like it was kind of... repetitive... but let me know YOUR opinion!