Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, nor do I completely own Nick and Jeff (although I'm pretty much creating their personalities myself since we haven't gotten to know them too well on the show).

A/n: I haven't written one of these in ages… I've been so distracted between my full-length Niff drama and the Daltonverse kids story I'm working on (and Sperril's son is driving me nuts!). So… welcome to adventures in cooking with Jeff and Nick!

Pork Chop

"Is it supposed to smell like that?" Jeff asked, sliding onto one of the bar stools in the dorm's kitchen.

"I don't know… I've never made pork chops before…" Nick replied. Jeff watched as the boy hurried over to the oven, opening it to look and see what was going on. "They look okay… do you think I should take them out?"

"You're the chef here, not me… I burn water." Jeff couldn't help but laugh along with Nick, remembering the last time he had attempted to actually cook something. The pan he'd attempted to make boxed macaroni in had ended up being thrown out because no one could tell where the burnt food ended and the Teflon began.

"I think I'm going to just let it keep cooking, at least until the timer goes off… it's only another couple of minutes." Jeff smiled as Nick walked over to where he was, sitting down and sighing. "I hope this works… I don't have a back-up plan if I ruin our dinner."

"There's always the package of Oreos my mom sent us, and plenty of milk…" Jeff couldn't help but laugh at the look Nick gave him.

"Jeff, Oreos are not a valid substitute for dinner…"

"Well, if your pork chop experiment doesn't work out, they're going to be our only option."

"I'm going to figure something else out, if that happens. I am not going to let you eat that for dinner," Nick replied. "That's just… wrong."

"Nick, we're in high school. We're guys. We're supposed to eat weird shit for dinner every once in a while, do things that would make our mothers cringe."

"My mother would cringe if she knew I was cooking pork…" Nick began. Jeff rolled his eyes.

"Your mother has weird food phobias. She thinks that zucchini aren't safe to eat…"

"I know, my mother's kind of insane. At least she hadn't started her smoothie diet the last time you saw her."

"Smoothies?"

"The original idea was to go raw, which isn't all that weird compared to some of the ideas she's had. But instead of just going raw, she's decided to have nothing but fruit and vegetable smoothies. Which makes no sense with the raw idea, because she puts yogurt in them…" Jeff couldn't help laughing at Nick's description of his mother's diet.

"Nick, I think your mom might have officially lost it…" Jeff looked up as he heard the oven timer going off and watched Nick hurrying over the oven to see if their dinner was ready. He bit down on his bottom lip as Nick pulled the tray out and put it on the stovetop. "So, are they done?"

"I don't know… I have to actually cut into them to figure that one out…" Jeff walked over, leaning to see as Nick cut through one of the two pork chops and noticing that both were bordering on burnt. The meat was still pretty pink in the middle. "Fuck…"

"I'll go get the Oreos."