A/N: Evening lovelies! I am very pleased to announce that this story has had it's 100th review! So than you to Sammie-Jo 16 for that! Also, while I'm here, a big thank you to sunlime who has given me consistently lovely reviews and who gave me the ideas for the endings to both of these last two chapters. I've decided to do a poll for the outcome of the 'rabbit bet' as to who wins... Jack or Ianto... so drop me a PM or leave a review stating who you would like to win and whoever gets the most votes will win - I have some good ideas for both possibilities ;) Hope you like the chapter! Hannah xxx
Well so far this rabbit business has lasted for just over a week, which is more than I ever thought it would if I'm honest, and so far both of us have managed to successfully conceal our knew found friends from the knowledge of the others. It's actually been surprisingly, though hopefully not deceptively, easy so far to keep Thelma (I made sure that I got to keep Thelma as Louise seemed the noisier of the two) out of sight. I guess this just proves how little attention to their surroundings the team pay on a daily basis… I bet they'd all notice pretty swiftly if I stopped cleaning and tidying up after them and the hub came to replicate a landfill site!
On that peculiar, first day that they joined as at the hub, our rabbity friends remained contentedly housed in jack's office, with the two of us going up to check on them and provide food, water, or entertainment for the little beings every half an hour or so, for the duration of the day. When the others had all gone home, Jack sent them all off early at about five seeing as we had had an impossibly slow day; it meant that Jack and I were able to bring them out to play again. I've always liked rabbits; Rhiannon had a gorgeous little one called mushroom when we were kids, but she would rarely let me play with him, so having these two all to ourselves has been nice, though I am sure the novelty will wear off eventually.
Time seemed to run away with us that night, and before we knew it, it was gone one o'clock in the morning; we were both too tired to set our bunny friends up in their new 'homes' downstairs in the hub (I use the word homes liberally… though I assure you, no animals have been harmed in the process of this bet) so we took them down to Jack's bunker below to spend the night with us down there, with the intention of letting them sleep soundly within the confines of the carriers that they were purchased in… but they may have ended up sleeping on top of the duvet to our bed…
We rose even earlier than usual so as to furtively transport out two new pest downstairs to their new locations in which they would remain until one of us got caught out. Once downstairs with the rabbits, we took turns to each hide them so that we wouldn't initially know where the other was keeping theirs, meaning that they could not straight away try and get the other one caught out. It took me a little while to work out where exactly I was going to keep Thelma for the duration of this strange little bet of ours; it had to be somewhere safe, comfortable, breathable and accessible during the working day, but at the same time I needed it to be somewhere secrete and a pace that one of the other was unlikely to look inside and, more importantly, a place which would take Jack a little while to figure out. Eventually I settled on the bottom drawer of my desk: I've punctured small holes in the back and having been leaving it open slightly so that she can breathe, I've formed a comfortable sort of hay and straw nest for her and fitted a water bottle and food bowl in place. None of the others ever go near my desk, they know how particular I am about the organisation of my possessions and ever since the day Owen accidentally broke my hole-puncher… no one has dared touch my things, so it was all clear on that front. And as far as Jack's concerned, well, I'm banking on the fact that he'll discount my desk as a valid hiding place as it is the obvious choice…. but we'll see.
As for his hiding place for Louise, I managed to deduce the location of that within a matter of hours, honestly, Jack may be able to cheat incredibly well at naked hide and seek but he is apparently useless at rabbit hide and seek. In the afternoon of the pilot day of our little bet, Jack and Gwen were upstairs in the conference room taking part in some video conference with UNIT and the American government, and Owen was getting Tosh to help him analyse some of the data from one of his peculiar experiments (something to do with a Weevil's foot this time… I didn't want to ask) which meant that I had a little time in the hub by myself to sneakily have a look around. So I commenced searching; checking out the cupboards in the kitchenette where the coffee and biscuits and sugar are normally stored, then the disused desk right at the back of the hub, and even the old stores for the medical bay; but I had no joy.
Then I noticed that there was something not quite right about the set of rarely-used book shelves down by the television, I couldn't quite put my finger on what was wrong, but they just looked out of place somehow, so I moved in closer on them to gain a better look. As soon as I was nearer to them I realised exactly what the peculiarity was – they were far too deep, about three foot too deep, and after checking the shelving out a little further I noticed the dozens of small holes (breathing holes) in the back of the unit, and that a false panel had been fitted. With a little jiggery pokery I managed to remove the extra wood to reveal a rather content looking Louise, merrily munching away on a carrot inside. In all fairness, it is quite a good hiding place as none of the others ever use that bookcase, but I do on occasion and so the change was easily identifiable. Currently I'm playing it fairly and have yet to do anything with this information, and I may not do anything for a few more days at least as the whole situation is honestly quite amusing just as it stands, but I do have some vague ideas about how I can try and land Jack in it… perhaps I'll put a plot in motion soon.
Hmm… perhaps it will have to be sooner that I thought… Jack found out where I was concealing Thelma today and has been trying to 'out' me to the others all afternoon. Initially I hadn't even noticed that he'd discovered my hiding place, and I certainly still don't understand when he had the opportunity to do so as I don't recall leaving my desk for long enough, but I began to grow suspicious as I observed him talking to Owen with his childishly excited grin in place, and the pair of them kept glancing over to my desk. Trying to overhear what they were saying, I quickly got up from my chair and surreptitiously moved to stand behind them. Jack was trying to convince Owen to open up my desk drawer, tried to dare him into doing it and kept saying that he would pay him if he did, but Owen was having none of it – he recalled the hole-puncher incident all too well it seems. I was relieved that Owen declined, but now set a little on edge due to the knowledge that Jack knew.
And that's not all, later on when I was doing the afternoon's coffee orders, I caught him trying to coax little Thelma out of her cosy drawer by muttering encouragingly and using lettuce as bait; thankfully Thelma had obviously learned not to accept lettuce from strange men in long coats and so Jack did not succeed. But that was twice now that he had tried to expose me and this means WAR.
I have laid the perfect trap for Jack now; he is so going to wish that he hadn't messed with me. Whilst he was off gallivanting somewhere or other, I broke into the bookcase and hid a small microphone inside with Louise, which can be controlled from the computer. Now all I have to do is switch it on and crank up the volume for a few seconds, just long enough to confuse the others, and let him know that no one toys with Jones, Ianto Jones and gets away with it!
I'd say that overall the plan went down pretty well; partially at least. On the one hand, Jack now knows that I know where he's keeping Louise, and that I know that he's tried to set me up twice already today, but on the other hand I think that between the two of us larking around together that Owen is growing very, very suspicious. I waited for the opportune moment to turn on the microphone and expose everyone to the delicate snuffling sounds of Louise the rabbit, right at the moment when everyone was inside the main room of the hub, and working completely silently. A few brief moments of the noise was all it took to capture everyone's attention; Jack looked thunderous about it all for a short second before he burst out laughing, shouting 'good one' to me as he left the hub to return up to his office. Gwen and Tosh just sat there looking highly confused, but Owen had his thinking face on… which is never a good sign. To add to the overall effect, and to even myself up with Jack, I have also left a few faux paw prints heading across the hub floor in the general direction of the book case; I hope I haven't completely over done it!
So I may not have over done it, but I might as well have done as Owen has discovered it all anyway. Jack and I went out to check up on some recorded rift activity down in Splott (it's been a while since we were last in dear old 'Sploe') and he ceased this opportunity to follow up his suspicions and have a good old nosey around the hub. We were out for quite a while in the end, a poor squid-like creature seemed to have entered through a crack in the rift, but either being out of water didn't suit the being, or it couldn't cope with the pressure or contents of our atmosphere or something… but it was dead by the time we had got to it the poor thing. It was quite a beasty size and it took Jack and I a good fifteen minutes just to lug it over to the SUV and load it in to be taken back to the hub for Owen to dissect and analyse, and then we were stuck in really bad traffic on the way back, meaning that all in all we were out of the hub for a good forty minute – plenty of time for Owen to spy.
Once we had carted the squid to the autopsy bay with the help of a rather smug looking Owen, neither Jack nor I initially noticed anything particularly strange, but I headed over to my desk and noticed immediately that my bottom drawer had been opened wider than I had left it. And, when I glanced over to Jack who was nonchalantly checking out the bookshelf, he too had a puzzled look on his face. Simultaneously we both looked to Owen who simply gestured his head up towards the conference room, and so we all headed up there.
"You know don't you" Jack said, sounding defeated.
"Know about what?" Owen asked innocently, but grinning smugly.
"I think you know" Jack replied.
"Perhaps I know something…"
"Oh for goodness sake Owen, will you just say it?" He asked, growing impatient.
"Okay, well I have no idea what's actually going on… but would one of you like to explain why there are two rabbits in this hub? And why for that matter are they in the book case and Ianto's drawer."
"Well that's the bet ended then" I sighed, "But wait who won? Which rabbit did you find first?" I asked Owen.
"Bet? What bet?"
"Jack challenged me to see who could keep a rabbit inside the hub without a member of the team noticing for the longest, and the winner…"
"Gets to make the other one their personal slave for the day" Jack finished, eyebrows wiggling, causing me to blush and Owen to roll his eyes.
"You two are weirdoes."
"Thanks oh so much" I replied sarcastically. "So which one did you find first?"
"I found Jack's first, but I had my suspicions about yours… I was just reluctant to go in your drawer… but how about you don't end the bet now?" He asked looking mischievous.
"What do you mean?" asked Jack.
"Well, how about if I got in on this bet with you, not for the weird slave thing… but for a bit of cash, I could bet say a tenner on which of you I thought would last longest."
"Interesting, interesting. Who would you back?" Jack asked.
"Hmm… well on the one hand, I know that you're bloody good a tricking people and at fighting dirty Jack Harkness… but on the other, I know how cunning and organised Ianto can be… I think I might have to sleep on this one" He grinned and left the hub.
So great, now Owen is in on the bet and one of us is going to have to pay him… oh well, at least we can keep Thelma and Louise hidden for a little while longer.
Oh bloody hell this is embarrassing! Bloody late nights… silly Gwen… stupid camera… very careless Ianto… Uuurgh, so embarrassing!
…Well, I guess it's not the absolute worst, most humiliating thing ever in the world that could have happened… but it's still enough to keep the team chuckling away for a good few days, and me blushing in their presence and Jack, rather frustratingly, laughing harder than the lot of them.
As is usual with the embarrassing circumstances that I occasionally find myself in, this one started with the same two common features, 1) initially seeming harmless and 2) in the presence of Jack. After everyone else had left the hub for the night, Jack came and found me descaling the kettle in the kitchenette – side note: I don't understand how it gets so scaly so quickly, we hardly ever use the kettle as I refuse to make instant coffee unless there is a very, very good reason why I might need to do so.
"So how long have you known about my little hiding place?" He asked grinning.
"Since the first day that we started the bet" I grinned back and he laughed.
"I'm really that bad at hiding?"
Yes. "No I'm just very good at searching" I replied winking. "How long have you known that I was keeping Thelma in my drawer?"
He laughed again, "Only since this morning actually, I thought I might as well strike while the iron was hot as far as trying to expose you to the others was concerned."
"Fair play, fair play. For a little while I thought Owen might have agreed to look in my drawer there and then and the bet would be over just like that… but I suppose that's irrelevant now" I said.
"Yes, I suppose it is, I really don't want to have to pay out to him!" He agreed.
"Me neither!"
"I'm kind of glad that he has agreed to keep it a secret though, it means that we can carry on with the secrecy even if one of us has to lose financially"
"Yes, I agree, it has been rather fun… besides, I have one or two more tricks up my sleeve" I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively.
"Oh really, well I look forward to seeing them, I was very impressed with the microphone gag… though I had better warn you, I am equally prepared" He grinned.
"I would have been disappointed if you weren't" I laughed back.
"Naturally" He agreed nodding. "So, now that's settled, what are our plans for the evening?"
"I'm a bit tired if I'm honest…" I replied.
"Me too, how about a coffee and a bit of telly?"
"Excellent, I'll just make us each a cup and meet you down on the sofa"
"Thank you Ianto" He said and kissed me on the cheek. "Oh, my mug is somewhere in my office by the way"
I rolled my eyes, somewhere… typical!
In reality when I got up to Jack's office, it was still all in the unnaturally neat state that it had been in ever since he had cleared up after his rampage trying to find the needle for the gramophone, and his blue and white striped mug was easily locatable on his desk. When I went to retrieve it, I almost missed the highly annotated post-it note that was stuck at the top of his computer monitor, but my eyes lingered on it for juts a second as I grabbed the handle of the mug. It was covered in doodles and scribbles, all surrounding the central word 'Gray' n big bold black lettering. Automatically I assumed that this must be referring to the same Gray that Jack had been having dreams about earlier in the week, the same Gray that I had yet to ask him about, and seeing the post-it note prompted me to finally ask him about this mysterious man.
I returned to the main floor of the hub and down to the little private area about five minutes later where the television was turned on to some non-descript programme playing at a low volume , two industrial strength coffees in tow, and seated myself down next to Jack and settled in to his welcoming, outstretched arm. When the coffees had been drunk, I began to speak.
"Jack, I wanted to ask you a question…" I started warily.
"Damn it! I wanted to be the one to ask you, but the answer's yes!" He joked and set my heart racing so fast for just a second that I almost forgot what it was that I had actually intended to ask him.
"Oh haha, how hilarious" I replied rolling my eyes once I had recovered enough. "I was just wondering if perhaps I could ask you… ask about who Gray might be?" I said nervously, expecting him to get cross or shout, or upset, or reveal that Gray was some secret ex-lover… or worse still a secret present lover…
But he just sighed and looked right at me with tired, forlorn eyes. "What do you know about Gray?" H half whispered.
"Nothing really… I just well, I heard you talking about him in your sleep quite a bit, and it seemed to be troubling you and I was going to ask sooner… but I forgot, and then I saw the note up in your office with his name on it and it made me remember and…" I trailed off, realising that I was rambling.
He sighed again. "He's my brother."
"You're brother? I never knew that you have a brother?" I asked curiously, selfishly relieved a little that it was a family connection he held with this man and not a romantic one.
"Had a brother… he died a long time ago, or he's going to die in a long time away… however you look at it he's gone." He said sounding rather bitter.
"What happened to him? If you don't mind me asking?"
He smiled at me, slightly sadly. "Of course not. Back in Boshane when we were young, too young to really know what was going on, creature – horrible, death bringing creatures – came to our home town and killed almost everyone in it including my Mother and … Gray." He swallowed then as if almost fighting back tears. "He was my little brother, I said I would protect him… but I let go of his hand. I let go of his hand and he was gone, out of my sight. I just kept running, I was so terrified that I didn't know what to do… and there he was lost and alone out there… because I let go… and there he died because of me." He finished whispering by the end, a single tear flowing from his eye.
"Oh Jack, I, I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked" I said, wiping away the tear with one hand and squeezing his hand in mine with my other.
"No, no" He said, breathing deeply and composing himself quickly. "I should talk about him more often, I certainly think about him enough… more so recently actually, which is why I think I've been dreaming about him."
"Well, anytime you feel like talking about him – or anything – I'll always listen" I said, smiling encouragingly.
"I know, thank you, and likewise" He replied managing a small smile back.
After that I don't remember a great deal besides waking up in the morning, which is where the embarrassment factor came into play, but I think we must have just continued talking about little things with the TV on in the background as a low hum until we fell asleep right there on the sofa. It was surprisingly comfortable on the sofa, the two of us curled up tightly together, not needing a blanket as we were generating enough heat between us, Jack even managed to sleep right through the night now that a few of his troubles had been shared. And everything would have been fine about this, except for the fact that we were out of hearing range of the alarm clock in the bunker and neither Jack nor I had thought to set one on our watches and for some reason my natural alarm clock failed to wake me.
This of course led to the highly awkward and embarrassing situation in which all of the team arrived at around eight o'clock to find us together asleep on the sofa, limbs entangled together and both of us lightly snoring. We were eventually awoken by a loud bang, created by a pair of cymbals that Owen had crashed above our heads… goodness knows where he found cymbals in the hub… Anyway, they all found it hilarious. Gwen took a picture and is threatening to email it to everyone we know under the sun which really would only make it worse.
Jack seemed to find the whole thing as completely hilarious as they did, joining in making jokes with them and asking if he was dribbling and such like, but I could only see the embarrassing, cheek-turning-red side to things, despite Tosh's insistence that we looked 'cute'.
Well, I can tell you something for nothing, one might be 'cute', but one is certainly not amused.