Disclaimer: I take no credit in the characters within this story; those are the sole work of Mrs. Stephenie Meyer. I do, however, take credit for the specific, new traits I gave them and am quite proud of them.
AN: I am SOOOOOOO sorry that this took so long you guys! Like I said, I wrote this once already and my computer decided to eat it. But, I rewrote it and though it may not be as good as the first one, I believe it works! Hopefully it's long enough for you guys! I'll try to get another chapter up soon! I love you all! Oh, by the way, it hasn't been edited yet, but I've shipped it off. NO COMPLAINING =p. Well, enjoy guys. And please review! Thanks for sticking with me!
I went almost directly to my office when we got home, my only side step being into the kitchen to drop off the pizza and grab a bottle of water, telling them where I would be. Alice just nodded as she glanced over her shoulder at Jasper, who was in cupboard, pulling down two plates. I smiled to myself as I went back through the living room and into my office. I started my computer before shutting the door gently, wanting to give them their privacy. They hadn't spoken about their exchange in the car, so I knew that Alice would want to thank Jasper for his help.
I opened my newest document immediately, wanting nothing but to get lost within the world. I reread my last line of the twentieth chapter, trying to decide where to start the new one.
"It was the purest kind of love, and yet it was doomed; he was too sweet, she was too willing to give up, and the cat he had helped her pick out was a little too mischievous to promise any good lying in their immediate future."
I smiled to myself, knowing where to pick up. It had been a wonderfully flirty Saturday for her, now it was time to run up to a sleepless Tuesday.
My limbs were numb and stiff as I dragged myself into class, my bag hardly holding my shoulder. Saturday was but an amazing memory that didn't quite seem real and certainly couldn't pull me from my stupor; only sleep could do that. I love cats, actually, I love all animals, but I find that having one and loving them is quite different.
"You look asleep Ellie," Ethan said, tapping my arm.
My eyes shot open as I looked at him, surprised. He laughed at my shocked and scandalized look, proud to be the one to pull it out. "What are you doing here? You were leaving for a week!"
"Well, it's good to know that you are glad to know I'm here," he teased. I didn't care for it; I was tired, sore, and just wanted answers. He obviously sensed this as he sobered quickly, "I was driving there, but decided to come back."
"Why?"
"I didn't want to go in the first place if you remember correctly. I just decided to ditch yesterday and come back today," he said with a shrug, as if it didn't really matter. Then his face returned to his lopsided grin, "Besides, I would have missed you too much."
I was about to tell him to remove the sarcasm from his voice before I stopped talking to him when the bell rang, making me jump three feet in the air and knock a book from my desk. I sighed and reached for it quickly, managing to smack my forehead against the hard polished surface of my desk at the same time my fingers wrapped around the side of the book. "Ouch!"
I sat there for a minute, my head on the desk as I tried to clear my even fuzzier thoughts. It took me that minute to realize the book was raising itself from the floor. I turned my head, not lifting it, and opened my eyes to look down at my hand, which was wrapped around another. One that was much longer. One that was holding my book. I followed the arm quickly to find a shoulder connected to a neck which held up a beautiful bronze topped head. His eyes laughed as he met my eyes. I let his hand go immediately, surprised. There was a burn on my palm, as if I had been holding something really warm if not too hot.
"You don't seem to be having a good day Bells," he whispered as he set the book on his desk, my head was currently occupying mine. "Your head okay?"
"Fine," I breathed. It took me a minute to clear my throat (and head) enough to say more. "I'm just tired.
"As I guessed. Why don't you just try to get some sleep? We have a sub today…" his voice died away as he met my eyes again and saw the way I was looking at him, "Are you okay Bella? You look really… dazed."
I shook my head for real this time, blinking a few times as I attempted to stop staring at him with more than the interest required, "Yeah, fine. Sorry Edward, I'm just-
I stopped writing instantly, reading back. "Edward"?! I read a little further back, "Bella," "Bells," "bronze hair"… oops. Quickly reading what I wrote I changed everything to their proper name or color, surprised at myself. After taking a deep breath I continued to write.
"I'm just tired, really. The kitten won't let me sleep."
"What do you mean? Won't let you?"
"He attacks me when I lay down," I whispered as he leaned toward me so he could hear. "And I can't let him out of the room if I don't want him to go after the dog. Rachael came up last night so I can't sleep on the couch…"
He sighed as he caught a glimpse of the arm I had under my head. "Why don't you come stay with us for tonight? Get some real sleep. I know it's a school night… but I'm sure your dad would let you if Alice called after school, say you came over to help her study and just fell asleep."
I stared at him for a full minute, not sure how to take it. Yes, I did want sleep, but to stay at his house after last time… "Let me think about it?"
He nodded, glancing at the woman sitting behind Mr. Accolie's desk before looking back at me. "Beginning to think your kitten was a bad idea?"
I laughed quietly, feeling the sting of the scratches across my skin on my arms, legs, stomach, and back. "I would never."
He gave a crooked smile, the one that made my heart jump just a little higher in my chest, "You are a little too forgiving Bells. Look at your arm; it's shredded. How can you not have any regrets?"
"I'm not too forgiving Edward, there is no such thing! I see my arm, and I know a kitten that is too young to know better caused it. He'll learn and my arm will heal. You can't blame something if it doesn't know what it's doing."
"I wish I could say that…" his voice was so quiet, his eyes so tight and earnest that I doubted he was talking to me, but I couldn't deny my extreme curiosity at his statement. Before I could question him about this he shook his head a little and glanced away from my eyes for a second. "You need to come over tonight. You look worn."
I flinched, remembering how I had looked in the mirror this morning. It hadn't bothered me because he wasn't supposed to be here today, but now… "I'll think about it Edwa-
My eyes flashed over the document again, flinching at the names. Damn it!!! Sighing loudly I went back through the document, correcting again. "Come on Bella. Focus."
"I'll think about it Ethan…"
He frowned. "Why are you so nervous to come over to my house now? You haven't been in… a long time. Not even for dinner. I know my sister misses you like mad."
I had no choice but to shrug as my mind flashed back almost a month.
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I was worn out and just wanted to go to sleep, but I couldn't ruin Alice's fun by doing that. Still my head nodded a little as she combed through my hair, animatedly talking about something… I paused a minute, realizing I should be listening. I tired to focus on her voice but found it harder than it should be. She didn't seem to notice my inability to hear her as she curled my hair up into a beautiful blue barrette. I decided not to point it out and just looked in the mirror at myself, my face a little paler than it should be (probably because I was tired), but otherwise perfectly made up. Alice really did have a gift with fashion, from clothing to makeup to hair. It would probably take her pretty far.
"Alice, she looks half asleep. Don't you think you should let her go to sleep rather than making her play Barbie?"
My eyes flashed over to the doorway, the voice pulling me from my tired stupor. He met my eyes in the reflection and gave me a little smile before looking back at his sister.
She sighed loudly, turning to her brother with a scowl. "First of all, it's only midnight Edward. Secondly, I'm almost done. Bella hasn't complained once tonight. If she were tired, she'd tell me."
"Is that so?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow. His eyes turned back to mine, "Are you tired Bella?"
"A little," I admitted slowly, not looking at Alice for fear that she would glare at me… or worse, look hurt.
"However, we are staying up till at least two so we can watch a show tonight, right Bella?" she asked, turning to me.
I just nodded, not looking at her as I agreed. "Yeah.
"Well, in that case, why don't we do something to wake her up Alice? I mean, leaving her in a chair for two hours or more while you play her hair and face doesn't actually help her fatigue." I watched as he stepped up behind his sister and noticed a bit of a mischievous look in his glance at me.
Alice smiled, obviously not catching the look as she met my eyes. "Okay! That's sounds like fun! What were you thinking?"
Edward shrugged, "I don't know. Something to get the adrenalin pumping… how about… hide and seek?"
Alice laughed, "Come on Edward, what are we? 8?"
"It was just a suggestion Alice," he said, looking kind of hurt.
Her face softened instantly, an apology evident. "I'm sorry Edward. I spoke too quickly." She paused, thinking. "Okay, we can play hide and seek, but l want to be the seeker first, okay?"
He nodded and she turned back to me, doing a finishing touch on my hair. My eyes went back to Edward who smiled and winked at me before turning toward the door. "Okay Alice, but you have to let poor Bella go in order for this to work."
She laughed and pulled her hands away. "Okay, fine. Go hide. Close the door behind you. I'll count to fifty. Outside is off limits. It has to be within the house."
"Okay sister dear. We will adhere to your rules," Edward said, smiling as his plan obviously worked, "but you can't start counting till to the door closes. Remember though, if it takes you more than ten minutes anyone not found is free to call it on you."
"Of course."
I stood, turning to look at Edward, trying to figure out his plan. He just glanced down at the black nightgown Alice had squeezed me into. I would have fought if the alternative hadn't been a pair of old, holey jogging pants and a large shirt in a similar state, but with Edward in the house there is no way I would have worn those. The object of that thought looked away for a second, then his eyes flicked over to me again, as if doing a double take. I felt myself blush as I hurried past him, walking through the door. He said one last thing to Alice, something I didn't hear, then followed me out, closing the door with a snap.
I turned to him just as fingers grabbed mine. The flame within my cheeks became hotter as it burned closer to the surface. My eyes met the green ones I felt that I stared into more often then I should. He just began pulling me toward the stairs where he quickly rushed up a flight. My feet stumbled over each step, almost tripping. I was extremely thankful when he stopped in front of his door, opening it and pulling me in behind him before closing it gently.
"Lay down on the bed," he instructed, pointing to the mattress. "I have a plan."
I stopped, freezing instantly. "Edward, if I lay down I'm not going to be able to stay awake… that's the opposite of what is supposed to happen…"
He smiled, "That's the point Bells. You're tired and you are getting some sleep. My sister expects to get her way all the time, she has a good heart but doesn't think about others as much as she should."
"But…"
"If you don't want sleep then don't, but if you do, lay down just below the pillows."
It only took a moment for me to stretch across the bed, the pillows right next to me. He smiled at me sweetly as he pulled the pillows so they were half on top of me. "Okay, when she gets me and we leave the room you can move so you are more comfortable. She won't be back in this room, so just go to sleep. I'll shut off the light as I leave. Get some sleep. Okay?"
I nodded, already half asleep. "Yeah."
"Okay, I'm going to lay down across the foot of the bed. She'll check here first and I'll be more obvious then you. She won't think you would hide in my bed too. Just don't move, right?"
"Right."
He smiled and covered me and the pillows with a blanket. The darkness made me relax into the mattress a bit. I had never lain in his bed before, so I was rather surprised at exactly how comfortable it was. I felt the bed move a bit as Edward situated himself, then everything was silent and still as we waited. I became extremely relaxed despite the rather tense air. I was just starting to nod off when the door opened slowly. I held my breath, afraid to move and give myself away. It was only a second before the mattress bounced a little and Edward groaned.
"God Alice, did you have to jump on me?"
"Yes. That was rather obvious Edward."
"Was it? Well, I didn't expect you to come in here first. I thought you would think it would be too obvious for me to hide in my own room."
"Well, I was thinking that at first, then I realized that that may just make you think I would think that. SO, I came to check. Better safe than sorry," she sang. "But now to find Bella. Do you know where she is?"
"No."
"Then come help me," she said. I felt the bed bounce a little again, assumingly as they both got up. The door was quickly closed and I was almost positive I heard the light switch click before that. With a deep breath I pulled the covers down just a little. The room was dark. Happily I wiggled around a little so I was in a vertical position, my head on the pillows and my body curled in the blankets. I turned my eyes to the glass wall, looking out at the stars that shone so beautifully. I was asleep within minutes.
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Now, this may seem rather silly. So I fell asleep in his bed. So what! And I would agree. He did, after all, tell me too. But, that was not what I am so terribly embarrassed about.
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I woke to the sound of quiet voices not too far away.
"They are so sweet Carlisle. I can see us in them."
"But they aren't us Esme, you know that. It's terrible to say, but I don't think we were so blind."
I blinked a few times, seeing nothing but darkness and trying to find my bearings. Who were they talking about?
Esme's quiet shush was followed by the muffled click of a door closing. I blinked again, rolling over as I tried to figure out where I was. I found myself face to face with Edward, my nose an inch from his on a pillow. I took a sharp breath, surprised by his presence and momentarily taken back by his beauty.
The two lines I had heard came back to me instantly, sending my brain into a foggy overdrive. Did they know that I liked Edward?! Of course they did! That's what they were saying! I went to sit up, only now noticing the heavy arm laid across my side. That made me pause in my attempt… what would this have looked like to them? Their son practically holding a girl that they obviously knew liked him in his bed? Oh no…
I went to sit up again, this time slowly. The arm slid down my stomach and into my lap. I lifted it, slid out from under it, and then set it back down before hurrying out of the room and down the stairs. Alice didn't make a sound as I closed the door behind myself. I sat down in a chair beside the window, not tired, and stared out the window for a while. Before I knew it the sun was up and my web of thoughts had not been untangled at all.
I went downstairs when I began to smell coffee, knowing that it meant someone was awake. Though I didn't really want to see either Esme or Carlisle, I had to be around someone to take my attention away from waking up in Edward's arms. Esme sat at the breakfast counter when I stepped into the kitchen, her hair was twirled up into an elegant bun. She turned to me, smiling.
"Good morning Bella!"
"Good morning Esme," I replied cautiously, unable to meet her eyes. "How did you sleep?"
"Pretty well thank you. How about yourself?"
"Fine."
"Is Edward awake yet? I need to see if he's still planning to come with me today, or if he would rather just stay here."
"I'm… not sure." I replied, blushing.
"You… haven't seen him?" she asked, surprised.
I met her eyes, blushing. I knew there was no sense playing dumb, knew it would be better to just tell her straight out. "I went to Alice's room while it was still dark."
"Oh, okay." She kept her peppy smile on as she stood. "Well, would you like me to make you something for breakfast Bella?"
"No thank you," I said, returning her smile. "I think just some coffee for now."
The smile she gave me could be described as nothing less than knowing, maybe even secretive. I blushed again. Oh yes, she knew that I like him… maybe she even knew to what degree that went.
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"Bella, a shrug is not an answer," Edward pointed out.
"It is when there is no other," I countered, a little snappy as my cheeks began to burn from the memory. His eyebrows pulled together as he studies my face, but he made no comment on my apparent blush or the comment. I looked away from him, feeling kind of guilty. "Besides, I didn't say no. I said I had to think about it… and I should really talk to Charlie."
"Okay Bells, but will do me a favor? Don't make your decision based on what you believe you need to do, but want you want to do, okay?"
I stared at him for a minute, thinking about what it would mean if I agreed to that, but had no choice but nod. What would he do if I disagreed? It would be even more obvious than my blush, wouldn't it? "Okay Edward. I'll try."
"Bells… don't try. Just do."
"Okay."
He obviously noticed the edge to my response, but didn't comment on it. We stayed quiet for the rest of class, only sharing the occasional glance. When the bell rang he gave me one last look, reminding, it would seem, of what he had said. I said nothing, just got up and stumbled toward my next class.
When lunch came about I felt my stomach tighten; I really didn't want to see Edward
I growled as I repeated the name in my head. No no no no no no! I bit my lip to see how long I had been screwing up again. My stomach tightened with every page I scrolled. By the time I found the top my jaw was tight. "God damn it!"
I seethed for a minute as I went back through the document, correcting while I cursed his very name. There was a knock on the door, pulling me from my irritation for a minute, reminding me I wasn't alone in my house right now. "Come in."
Alice opened the door, peeking in. "Bella, are you okay?"
"Fine Alice. I just keep making the same mistake. Nothing major," I said without looking into her eyes. "Sorry."
"It's okay Bella. Just wanted to make sure you were okay," she said as she backed up. She obviously knew that I needed nothing but to be alone right now. I thanked her in my mind before turning back, taking a deep breathe, and finishing all the fixings.
I really didn't want to see Ethan, to think any more about what I was going to say to him, how I was going to let him down without making him mad at me. I obviously couldn't go there, it would be too awkward with his family, not to mention the fact that leaving dad alone with Rebecca would be torture in the most acute kind for him. I wouldn't hurt him like that. On top of that they would never eat if I wasn't there; dad can't cook and Rebecca refuses to. But avoiding the lunchroom without a viable excuse was completely out of the question, so my options were limited and I decided, on only a moments reflection, to head to the nurse and lay down for a the period. I hurried to the front office, hoping that I wouldn't be caught by the siblings, my best friends, in my escape. I managed to get to there unspotted and the woman manning the desk looked up as I opened the door. She frowned as I gave her a pitiful look. "Are you okay Bella?"
I broke off abruptly and corrected.
"My stomach," I stated, not a complete lie "I was wondering if I could rest for a little while so it may go away.
She nodded and motioned for me to come around the counter before she opened the door, "I'm afraid the nurse isn't here, but you are more than welcome to lay down for as long as you need. If you need to go home I'll give Chief Swan-
Erasing the words I reminded myself yet again that, even if most of this had really happened the details of my life weren't included. Ellie wasn't completely me… I continued typing.
a call."
"Thank you very much ma'am," I mumbled, feeling a little bad for the lie, but not nearly enough to claim that I was fine. My stomach, after all, really was in a state of riot and there was no way I would be able to look Ethan in the eye and keep a straight head right now. My fatigue was getting ridiculous for only two day having been lost and I knew that if he offered a good nights sleep again I would not be able to refuse which was simply in no ones best interest. I stepped into the dark room, momentarily cast in a dim glow by the open door, and went to the cot, laying down on the crackling paper. The darkness became complete and I murmured another thanks despite the fact that I knew she couldn't hear me. It was approximately ten seconds before I fell asleep on the uncomfortable paper.
"Bella honey, wake up," said a kind voice somewhere in the dark.
I opened my eyes and found myself looking at the nurse, a small, fragile, older looking woman. It took me a minute to realize that it was not her in my room but rather me in her office. I blinked a few times and then sat up.
"School lets out in ten minutes."
I blinked a few more times.
"How are you feeling?"
"Fine," I answered before thinking about it. There was no other answer I would willing give. "Why didn't anyone wake me?"
"Mrs. Heather said that you were extremely pale when you came in and you felt a little warm. We couldn't get your father on the phone, so letting you sleep just seemed the best option. Don't worry about your classes, we notified your teachers, told them that if there was any work that you absolutely had to get to send it to the office. Nothing came," she replied lightly, scribbling on a piece of paper as I spoke.
"Thank you," I said lightly.
"You are quite welcome. Oh, and your friend came to check on you before last period. He seemed very worried, asked us to tell you that the offer stands and that he will talk to you later."
I groaned inwardly. Damn it Edward. I thanked the nurse again.
"You're welcome. Now, how about you get out to your car? No one will say anything for you being out three minutes early."
I nodded, standing up quickly with another thanks and hurrying out, thanking Mrs. Heather as well, and then all but dashing out to my car. I skipped my locker, hoping I didn't need anything from it and just wanting to get out of the parking lot before Edward or Alice got out. I was parked at the other end of the parking lot, and by the time I was near my car the bell had already let out its scream, releasing the students contained within the walls. I walked faster, sighing when I could see the nose of my truck poking out from behind a van. When I turned the corner, pulling my keys from my pocket I froze at the sight of Alice leaning against the door, smiling at me sweetly. The keys fell from my fingers. She was too fast for her own good. How was it possible that she was here already? She hadn't been much closer to my car than I was, and I had had a three minute head start.
"Bella! How are you feeling?" she asked, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around me tightly.
"A little better Alice," I replied, returning her hug loosely.
She pulled back and shined me an excited smile, "So does that mean that you really are coming over tonight?"
"I-"
"Please Bella? We could have so much fun! You haven't been over in so long. We could stay up all night and maybe convince Esme to call in for us tomorrow! You know she would do it."
"Alice, the reason why she needs to come over is so she can sleep, not to get less," said that oh so familiar voice so close I was startled enough to step forward. His hand touched my arm instantly, an apology.
"We could sill have fun Edward…" Alice said, not looking at her brother, but eyeing me instead, waiting for my response.
"I haven't fully decided yet Alice. With Charlie and my cousin… and I have homework that I need to get done…"
Her face fell a little. "Okay… I understand. Well, we should let you go. I'll see you tonight hopefully." With another hug and a whispered bye she left.
I felt bad, of course. With a sigh I turned to her brother who I knew was still there, could feel him. He looked down at me with a blank face. "Bella, listen to me. I expect you there tonight, understand? You have to sleep if you want to keep functioning, okay?"
"I-"
"Rhetorical, Bella. Now, I'll come to pick you up if that's what it takes. Call me by six with either a good excuse, or a conformation. If I don't get that call Bella I will come to get you without a second thought."
"But-"
He seemed to read my mind, "Charlie is the adult in that house Bella, he can handle himself and your cousin for a night." He stopped and leaned down toward me, his voice softening, "You may act like an adult, but sometimes you have to remember that you are still a kid Bells. You can't take of everyone, and sometimes you need someone to take of you. My family will, you know that."
This time I kept my mouth shut, too mesmerized by his eyes to think of a logical response.
He reached up and touched my cheek for just a second, "Call me by six or I'm coming to get you."
He turned to walk away, stopping only for a minute to bend down, grab my keys off the ground, and hand them to me. I fumbled with the door, still lost in his words. I was out of the parking lot before I realized I was driving, and home long before it seemed I should be. I stayed in my truck for a second, preparing myself to be faced with Sarah again. I didn't understand why she was such a bitch, what drove her to it, but there was not denying it. No wonder her family had been so enthused that she was coming to stay with us for a few weeks; they couldn't stand her either. They had all but begged Charlie to take her and he had with thought that it would give me a girl to hang out with at home; of course he hadn't expected her to be such a pain in the ass. At least he wasn't expected to follow all of her self absorbed commands without so much as a blink of the eye though, I doubt he would be able to keep himself from doing it, or rather be able to say no.
With a sigh I got out of the car, glancing briefly at the cruiser in the driveway, and then walked to the door. When it was finally unlocked and open I stopped, surprised by the absolute silence of the house. Didn't Charlie have a game to watch today? He had mentioned it last night, I was sure; 'The game of the season' if I wasn't mistaken. He had been happy to have the day off so he could watch it. I stepped through the door, cautiously setting down my bag before walking through the hall. I peaked into the living room to see Sarah on the couch, seeming not having moved since I had left this morning; her long legs were draped over the back of the couch, there was a stack of magazines on the coffee table, her blonde head was propped on a stack of my pillows, the ones I had actually been missing last night. I said nothing as I walked just a little further on, to the kitchen, to find Charlie sitting at the table, the paper in front of him, open, though he didn't seem to be reading it.
"Hey dad," I said lightly.
He looked up suddenly, "Hi Bella."
I smiled a little, sitting down across from him at the table, "Don't you have a game you wanted to watch at three today?"
He shrugged, but I could see the strain in his eyes, tipping me off to the fact that I was right. "I was going to, but Sarah is in there reading. I wouldn't want to interrupt her."
I shook my head a little, "I'm sure it would be fine if you watched your tv as long as it is not too loud. How about I go get that set up for you while you finish your article and get yourself something to drink? I want to know how it turns out. Okay?"
He smiled at me and nodded, "Thanks Bella."
I stood up, throwing a mental I-told-you-so at Edward. I may not be the adult, but the only adult in the house couldn't really take care of himself around girls, which he now lived with. I sighed as I walked into the living room and looked at the state of it; everything had been rearranged to suit Sarah's needs. There was now an open suitcase in the corner, clothes falling out of it, stacks of magazines on the coffee table and in Charlie's chair, nail polish bottles were lined up on the edge of the coffee table, and the floor was strewn with dirty clothes. I didn't say anything to the girl still strung over the couch, just went to the tv and turned it on. It took me a minute to find the basketball game, and when I did I turned up the volume just a bit. Sarah clicked her tongue behind me and I glanced at her irritated face.
"I'm sorry Sarah, you don't mind my father sitting in his living room watching his tv from his chair, do you?" I asked as I moved the magazines in his chair onto the floor.
She glared at me, setting down the magazine she had in her hands, "Oh no Bella, not at all."
"Good," I said as I turned to leave.
"Oh Bella, you need to feed the stupid rat. I went upstairs to take a bath earlier but couldn't stand to stay in there for more than ten minutes because the stupid thing wouldn't stop meowing. I would have thought you were responsible enough to feed him before you left."
I turned back to her. "I did, actually,. But he is a kitten and can eat up to four times a day. I would have thought that if it was so irritating to you, you would have been able to do it."
"It's not my responsibility to take care of you rat."
"Eros is not a rat, stop calling him one," I growled quietly. "And you are quite right, it's not your response to feed him, but I do believe cleaning this room is, you may want to get on that."
She bared her teeth at me for a minute then sat up. "What's for dinner tonight Bella?"
"I haven't decided yet, why? Have you decided you would like to cook?"
"Oh no, I was just going to request that we eat something a little healthier tonight. Maybe something that wasn't based around potato. I don't know how you keep yourself from becoming a complete cow with what you eat. I'm sure I've already gained ten pounds since I got here."
"Ten pounds, huh? That's okay, I'm sure no one will even notice when you go back home, or at least not comment. Now, if you will excuse me, Charlie will be in any minute to watch his game."
I thought I heard her growl as I walked away, but I could be mistaken. I poked my head into the kitchen where Charlie was fishing something out of the fridge, "All ready for you dad. I'm going to run to the store to pick up some stuff for dinner. I'll be home soon, okay?"
He smiled at me, "Okay Bella."
I ran upstairs, fed the cat who was sleeping under my bed, and changed my shoes before leaving again, only briefly glancing in to the living room to find Charlie leaning forward in his chair and watching the game intently while Sarah painted her was about four-fifteen when I left.
Fifteen minutes later I was at the store, wandering the isles in search of food. I had decided on a wilted chicken salad for dinner, but found myself moving up each isle trying to waste as much time as I possibly could. I didn't want to go home just to have to wait to start cooking. As I wandered and walked I thought about what to do with Edward. Going over would be so… strange. I wouldn't feel as at home as normal, because I would be more shy and embarrassed than usual. I wouldn't be able to look at Esme or Carlisle or even Edward when either of his parents were near, but I couldn't avoid them forever either. Eventually someone would know that something was really wrong and it couldn't be that hard to figure it out. The last thing I needed was for Edward to know how much I really liked him. It was hard enough being around him when he didn't know, I'm not sure I would ever be able to look at him again if he did. The situation was difficult. I couldn't go because of the awkwardness that would arise, not to mention the fact that I couldn't leave Charlie alone with Sarah, but I couldn't not go because it would make my feelings rather obvious and hurt both of my friends. Maybe if I just gave it a bit more time.. yeah, that was it, stay home tonight but promise to go up this weekend, or maybe next.
I reached the end of the last isle, proud of myself for coming up with a plan, then headed to the nearest checkout station. The drive home was more peaceful than the others because I didn't have a nagging feeling in my heart, knowing that I still had to decide. I was actually in a good mood when I got home. Charlie was still watching the game though Sarah was now back to reading her magazine. No one seemed to notice that I was home, a fact that made me happy because it kept me from having to talk. I went to the kitchen and started to make dinner. Placing all of the vegetables in a colander in the sink before pulling out the chicken breasts and beginning to marinate them, I hummed to myself. I was just about to start washing the vegetables when there was a sharp knock on the door. I glanced at the clock; 5:56. I stopped instantly. How could it possibly be almost six already?!
"I've got it!" I called as I made my legs move again. I all but ran to the door. I took a deep breath before opening it slowly and peering out at him meekly. His lips were set into a hard line as he stared down at me.
"Are you ready?"
I raised my eyebrows, surprised at the irritation in his voice. It only took a second for my own irritation to set in. "You are early."
"Too bad. Are you ready?"
"I'm not going Edward. I can't. I'm needed here. And I'm in the middle of making dinner. I promise to come up this weekend, okay? Just not tonight."
"No, you're coming over tonight Bella. You no longer have the option. Finish making dinner and then we're leaving," he said simply, his face leaving no room for question.
"Edward Cullen, I hate to tell you this, but you are not my father, do you understand me?" I hissed. "It is not up to you to tell me what I am or am not doing."
He looked bemused as he was about to reply, but was interrupted by a high voice behind me, "Bella, are you not going to invite our guest into the house? It is so rude leave him standing on the porch like this."
I turned to her, glaring, "Edward isn't staying, Sarah, so there is not point in that invitation."
She smiled as her eyes flicked to him, taking him in completely, "Edward? As in Edward Cullen?"
"Yes," he answered slowly and I looked back to see him taking in Sarah from her high ponytail to her extra short shorts. I wave of nausea hit me at the look on his, one of surprise and… something else. Attraction? No no no no no no! He couldn't be like Sarah! I felt a little unsteady as I looked back at my cousin who was smiling flirtatiously at him.
"Oh, well then, please come in. I have heard so much about you. I have been so eager to meet you."
My breathing increased as Edward obeyed, walking in past me. I stared, wide eyed, at him, then back at my cousin who was still eyeing him. I turned away. Fabulous. I grabbed the doorknob with what felt like enough force to crush it in my hand. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be. No.. Edward would never be attracted to the snotty little shit… he was much too smart for that. Especially when he had listened to me for hours on Saturday to little but complain about her. He couldn't possibly want her. Could he? I growled in my head and closed the door with a more force than necessary. I spun on my heel and marched back to the kitchen, passing Sarah who smirked at me. I went right to the sink, no longer thinking as I grabbed a knife and sliced open the bacon. I nearly jumped three feet in the air when a hand touched my shoulder. I turned to look at Edward, nothing but concern written on his face. "Want some help Bella?"
"Oh, I'm sure she's fine Edward. Bella likes to cook alone. She never lets anyone help her."
I shook my head. How would she know? She had never offered. "Thank you Edward. I would appreciate some help so we can eat by five-thirty."
He smiled, and nodded, "What would you like me to do?"
I used my knife to point at the vegetables in the sink right next to me. "Wash those?"
I heard Sarah sigh as he moved just a little to the right so he could do as I asked. "So, are you going to stay and eat with us Edward?"
He glanced sideways at me and I shrugged as pulled out a few pieces of bacon and began to chop it up. He nodded, "As long as Charlie doesn't mind."
"Oh, I'm sure he won't. It seems as if anything Bella says is okay he's fine with. It's pretty obvious who wears the pants in the family."
I bit my lip cheek to keep from getting too pissed off, trying to forget that I had a nice little knife in my hand that would do her well. Edward looked over at me as he pulled back the romaine leaves. He must have seen the look on my face and smiled as he swayed his hip a little, bumping me. I smiled a little and he did it again, making me laugh. "I believe that it was how Bella grew up. She's used to being the adult. I suppose that's why she seems so much older than the rest of us. I'm convinced she is going to announce that she's really thirty and just posing as a high school student any day now."
I laughed, "Thirty Edward? Really? I thought you would be better than that! I'm only 29 thank you."
He smiled as he looked at me before going back to washing the head of the Iceburg now. "Sorry, your cooking just boasts more practice than 29."
"You've had her cooking before?" Sarah asked, fighting to get back into the conversation.
"Oh yes. My sister loves to make her cook every time she comes over. Her French Toast is to die for. I have not had a single thing made by Bella that I haven't enjoyed."
"I'm curious Edward; is it simply the food you are partial to or does your like of it come more from who prepares it?"
I froze in my chopping and turned to look at the girl behind me. She gave me an innocent smile.
"If I'm not prying too much, that is."
"Not at all," he said and I had the urge to kick him. He glanced at me, "I am quite fond of the cook to be sure, but I believe that my friendship with her has no effect on my tastebuds, or my families for that matter. Emmett's especially." He stopped, shutting off the water. "Which reminds me Bells, I forgot to tell you, he's coming back to visit in a few weeks and Esme was wondering if you would like to come over and help her make the lasagne again. I don't think any of us have eaten anything with so much flavour since you made that."
"I'm glad you all enjoyed it. I would be happy to help again."
"What do I do now?" he asked, motioning to the now clean vegetables.
I smiled, "When was I going to teach you to cook?"
He laughed, "Well, I have been begging for a few months now, but you just keep turning me down Bells."
"We'll take a weekend soon to give it a shot, okay? Who knows, maybe I'll even have you make the lasagne instead of me." He beamed at me. I laughed, bumping his arm with mine, "Stop looking like I just gave you a present. You are going to have to work. Now, I want you to spray a pan down, then grab the chicken from the fridge and cook that on medium. It's in the blue bowl."
He nodded, the smile still in place as he went to the cupboard that held the pans, pulled one down before heading to the fridge and grabbing the bowl. I watched him as he began his search for the PAM, not paying any attention to the bacon that was almost completely chopped. I noticed that Sarah was watching him too, a smile on her face as she went to the fridge and grabbed it off the top. I felt my eyes narrow as she wandered over, swaying her hips as she approached him. "Looking for this Edward?"
He looked at the can in her hand before nodding. She smiled and handed it to him slowly, being sure their hands touched, before walking away, again swaying her hips. I bit my lip as I looked back down at the bacon, not wanting to see if his eyes followed. I finished the chopping then went to fetch my own pan, dropping the tiny pieces into it. I looked at him then to see him staring extremely hard at the chicken. I laughed before I even thought about it. "You realize that's going to take a few minutes to cook, right? Don't worry, I'll tell you when to turn it."
He looked up, a sad look on his face, as if he just failed. I patted his arm for a second, then pointed at the vegetables again. "Get a fresh cutting board then begin to chop the tomatoes. Then peal the carrots and cut those as well. Okay?"
He nodded and I smiled while I turned the burner on so I could cook the bacon. It was popping within minutes and I squeezed as much of the grease from the pieces as I could. I glanced at Edward to see how he was doing with the salad stuff. He had the tomatoes cut into perfect wedges and the carrots were almost done, cut into small sticks. Oh yes, he was good with a knife. I walked around him to grab a large bowl from the cupboard and placed it on the counter next to him. "When you are done with that I want you to tear the iceburg lettuce after you wash your hands."
I went to the sink as I spoke and lifted the leafier stuff and began to tear it into the bowl. It only took a minute to have half of it torn. The rest I slipped into a baggie and put in the fridge. Edward had just finished the carrots and I told him to drop that into the bowl with the tomatoes, then go to turn the chicken, then he could go back and tear about half of the other head of lettuce. He listened well, following my directions exactly. It wouldn't be hard to teach him this stuff if he kept up this kind of attitude. Oddly enough I had never thought he would listen so well. I grabbed the cucumber from the sink, rinsed the cutting board, and began to cut that into slices as quickly as I could manage, watching the pan of bacon out of the corner of my eye. I didn't want that to get too cooked, that was for sure. I had tried to eat overcooked bacon bits before and they hurt to say the least. Granted, the bits themselves weren't the important part, but I always hated having to strain the grease before adding it to the salad.
As soon as I was finished with the cucumber I wrapped the remainder and placed it in the fridge before grabbing the spatula and heading back to my bacon, scrapping it to be sure that none had stuck to the bottom of the pan, that tended to make dishes difficult. Thankfully none had and it wasn't done early either. After moving the bits around I was comforted enough to check on Edward's progress. He had about half of what we needed torn and was going at a steady enough pace to keep me happy.
"Something smells good Bella," Charlie pointed out as he walked in to the kitchen.
"Thanks dad. Withered chicken salad," I said as I turned around. He wasn't looking at me though, his eyes were on Edward. "So, Edward came over to talk to me really quick and ended up offering to help me with dinner. Is it alright if he stays to eat?"
"He helped cook. I can't say no obviously."
I smiled at him as he sat down, then went back to my bacon, pushing down one last time before shutting off the burner. "Edward, it's time to turn these again."
He was by my side a moment later, a spatula in hand. I watched carefully as he flipped the breasts. Oh no, cooking with him would be no problem at all; he was good with a knife and spatula, he listened well, and everything else would take no time for him to master. I nodded at him in approval when he glanced at me. He smiled before looking back down at the breasts.
"Those will be done in about three minutes. Take them off the heat and put them on a clean board and cut each into strips," I said as I went back to the salad bowl with the bacon pan in hand. I upturned the bits and grease over the lettuce before lifting the bowl and pushing the lid over it. I walked to the fridge while I shook the bowl. I grabbed the Italian dressing from the door, took the lid off, put just a little bit in the bowl before replacing the lid and dressing, and finally shaking the bowl some more. When I was back at the counter I pulled the lid off again and looked at the lovely salad with a smile. Edward pulled the chicken off the burner, being sure to shut off the burner, then flipped the chicken out onto the cutting board he had been washing. While he began cutting all of the chicken I grabbed four bowls from the cupboard and began to fill each with the lettuce and its companions from the mixed bowl. Edward added the chicken as it was cut, a breast for each bowl, and I sprinkled a little of the shredded cheese and croutons I had bought. I took two of the bowls to the table, handing one to each of the people sitting there. It would appear that Edward and I would be sitting next to each, a prospect that didn't seem to make either my father or cousin happy. Edward sat down with our bowls and a handful of cutlery.
"This looks amazing Bells," Edward whispered as he stared down at his salad.
"I agree," my dad said, already having his fork in hand.
"Thank you," I said as I stood. My dad still had his soda, but the rest of us were beverageless. I poured three glasses of lemonade and carried them carefully back to the table, terrified I was going to drop one. I managed, somehow, go get the glasses to each of the places, and finally got to sit, looking around at the others. Edward and Charlie were already digging in, but Sarah seemed to be picking at hers. "Something wrong Sarah?"
She smirked, "I don't think lettuce is actually supposed to look like this."
"For this salad it is." No room for argument.
"Are you sure?"
I smiled as I took a bite. I was going to answer, but Edward beat me to it. "Yes."
She looked surprised at the voice he had used when he spoke, but smiled flirtatiously after a second. "Oh."
I rolled my eyes, a move that she caught, while I took another bite, thoroughly enjoying the salad.
"So, Bells," she said, annunciating the nick name Edward had bestowed on me just enough to make it bitchy, "how was school today?"
I shook my head, "Fine."
"Really? Then why were you in the nurses office?"
Charlie sat up then, "Bella? You were in the nurses office?"
"She was feeling a little nauseous and just wanted to rest during lunch, but fell asleep. Nothing too serious," Edward replied for me, my mouth again full. I bumped his foot thankfully. He gave a little nod that no one but me would notice.
"Oh, okay. How did you know about this Sarah?" Charlie asked, turning his attention to my cousin.
"They called while you were out. I told you. Didn't you hear me?" she had an innocent look on.
"No… I guess not," he said, looking a little confused, probably trying to figure out when she could have told him the message that she never really did.
"What are your plans for tonight Edward?" Sarah asked, turning her eyes to him and biting her lip.
"Actually, I'd planned to work on a project tonight, Alice sent me to fetch Bella so they could work on their Shakespeare project. It's due tomorrow."
"Sadly Alice is going to be disappointed, isn't she?" I asked, glancing at him.
"Why would you want to disappoint Alice Bella?" Charlie asked, bewildered.
I looked at him, "Because it would involve me staying over there for the night dad."
"With Alice?" he clarified.
"Yes. But it's okay. I'm sure that we will be able to work on it tomorrow. I wasn't there today for the final touches, as you know. And Mrs. Herst is extremely cooperative about these kinds of things," I said.
"I don't know Bella, Alice mentioned something on the way home about you being first to present tomorrow."
I kicked him, but he didn't flinch. "I'm sure if I talked to her…"
"Why don't you want to go there, Bells?" Sarah asked, giving the same emphisis to the name, taunting me. I turned a glare onto her.
"I wish you wouldn't call me that, Sarah."
"Why ever not? Edward does," she asked, her eyes flicking to him.
"Because it's a name that my friends use," I only slightly exaggerated the word, hoping that Charlie would miss the malice that would undernote that statement to Sarah's ears.
"Oh, but I'm your friend Bells, right?" she seethed, a sneer on her face.
I was about to stand up when Edward's hand clasped mine under the table, squeezing tight. I closed my eyes, taking strength from that. When I opened them again I was calm, "Oh yes, the best. But I'm afraid that I meant my friends the Cullens call me Bells, no one else."
"Yes, I'm afraid we patented the name," Edward said, smiling as he took a big bite of salad.
"So, why don't you want to go?" Sarah asked, a little irritation melding into the sugar sweet voice.
"I don't want to leave you two," I said, leaving out the word alone just to make it sound like I didn't feel that they could be alone.
"Oh Bella, we'll be fine. If you have a project due tomorrow you should go! Don't disappoint Alice."
I opened my mouth to complain when Edward squeezed my hand again.
"But what are you going to do about the rat in your room?" Sarah asked, looking between Edward and I as if she saw a lie.
Edward turned to me, "The rat in your room."
I growled a little when I spoke, "Sarah, stop calling my kitten a rat."
"Eros?" Edward questioned.
"Yes." We both answered at the same time.
Sarah went a little pale as she looked at Edward, "Oh, that's right, you went with her to pick it out, didn't you."
"Yes," he said, a little snideness in his voice, "he was the first one we saw."
"That would explain why you picked out the demon, wouldn't it? You would have been better off getting a vicious gerbil. The name doesn't fit that little shi- brat at all."
Edward glanced down at my arm for minute, and then into my eyes. "You know, I think it fits perfectly. He is the god of love, not love itself. Eros causes more mischief and pain than any other I should think." As he finished he looked away from my eyes, but pulled my hand to rest on his knee while he took another bite of salad. I blushed as I looked down, silently agreeing about that. Love had certainly caused me more than enough pain. I froze at that thought. No no no. I couldn't say that. I'm not in love. Nope. Absolutely not.
"So, I'm curious, how long have you two been seeing each other?" Sarah asked with a smirk.
I choked on the bite of salad I was eating and Charlie dropped his fork in his bowl while Edward stayed perfectly calm while he chewed, allowing me to answer that question. I swallowed hard and looked at Sarah. "Excuse me?"
"How long have you two been seeing each other?" she repeated with a smirk while I blushed.
"It depends on how you mean. We have been friends for a few months…"
"No, that's not what I meant. How long you been dating?"
"Sarah, you know perfectly well that I am not dating Edward. Both Charlie and I made that perfectly clear," I replied, my voice incredulous as I stared at her. Why would she attempt to embarrass me like that?
"I doubt that."
"No, she's being perfectly honest. We have not dates once and are no more than friends."
"Platonic?"
I coughed again and took a sip of lemonade to help get down the bits of food lodged in my throat. Charlie saved us. "Sarah, that's enough," he said quietly, "I've heard and had this conversation enough to know that they are no more than friends."
I blinked once as Edward's hand again tightened on mine, but I made mo move to pull it back. It was nice to feel him, to know that I had his support against Sarah. I looked down at my bowl, almost empty then looked around. Edward was finished, but neither Charlie nor Sarah were. Edward seemed to notice this and released my hand. "Bella, do you have your stuff packed?"
"But I'm not-" I stopped my sentence as I looked into his eyes, the pleading there made my heart stop for a moment. I couldn't breathe as I stared into his amazingly perfect face. "No, I'm not."
"Should we go do that while they finish eating then? We can do the dishes when your ready to go," he said, smiling a little.
I turned to Charlie, "Are you sure this is-"
He smiled, "Bella. We'll be fine. Go get packed."
I smiled and stood, pulling the hand that was still resting on Edward's knee even though his wasn't wrapped around it anymore away quickly. I blushed a little before hurrying to the sink with our bowls before turning back. He stood and smiled at me. We went to leave the room when Sarah spoke up. "Charlie! Are you really letting Edward into Bella's room?"
"Some guys can be trusted Sarah," I said, looking over my shoulder at her.
"Even the most trustworthy guys fuck, Bella," she said, making me stop. Charlie hissed something at her and she rolled her eyes before correcting herself, "Screw. Sorry."
"Do you seriously think I'm going to go upstairs with my father and cousin down here and screw my best friend?" I asked, flabbergasted. She raised her eyebrow at him, before shrugging.
"Some are hard to resist."
I growled, "Only for those who are slutty enough. Oh, sorry."
She stood up, knocking the chair to the ground, "Are you accusing me of being a slut Isabella Swan? You of all people?"
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I am simply pointing out the fact that the girl who flirts insanely with what seems like any guy is saying that I, a virgin I will happily admit, am a whore."
I barked a laugh. "First of all, please, tell me, who am I supposed to have flirted with? And, second of all, may I ask why a virgin left a pregnancy test in the bathroom trashcan?"
"The blonde guy from the airport maybe? And shamelessly with Edward since he stepped through the door. As for a pregnancy test, I have no idea what you are talking about." She spat.
"Edward? Mike? HA! Surely you must be confusing me with yourself Sarah. And you know what? The test doesn't even matter! Who gives a damn if you are pregnant or not? I'm sure the father doesn't. Which one was it? Do you even know?" I bit my tongue as soon as it left my lips. Her jaw fell open, then she grabbed onto the table, not being over dramatic for once; she actually seemed to need it for support. It made me question who the possible daddy was.
"Do not accuse me of sleeping around Bells," she hissed, "I am not the one nailing my best friend as well as that Mike guy."
"I wouldn't touch Mike if he was last guy on Earth. The human race would die if it was just us, I can promise you that."
She leaned forward, "And Edward?"
I opened my mouth to reply but she cut me off.
"Oh yes, I can see it in your eyes. Edward is a completely different story, right? And why is that Bells? Because you already are? That's why you are going over there tonight too, huh? Alice isn't even aware to the fact that you are coming over, is she? Will she ever find out? Let me guess, their parents are out of town for the night and you two figured it would be the perfect time to throw in a nice screw."
I stared at her for a minute. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I am going to see Alice and of course Esme and Carlisle are there! I hate to tell you Sarah but not everyone is as underhanded as you. I have never slept with Edward! His sister is the one that wants me there. Want me to prove it?" I whipped out my cell phone and opened it, pulling Alice's number up before tossing her the phone. "Call her. Ask her. Edward may be my friend Sarah, but he is not the one who gave me the guilt trip today. He is trying to help his sister and I, not himself."
She snapped the cellphone shut, "Tell me then, what was your hand doing in his lap under the table?"
My lips dropped open as I stared at her. "What?!"
"Don't play stupid Bella," she smirked.
"I'm not! I will openly admit that at one point my hand was on his knee because he was holding mine, trying to calm me enough to keep me from diving across the table and strangling you. He was protecting you though I hardly know why anyone would want to. Please, tell me why you are such a stuck up pain in the ass little bit-"
Edward grabbed my arm, pulling me back to him. "Bella, stop. That is enough."
I tried to pull away and go back to the kitchen, but he tugged me up the stairs, keeping a firm, but not too hard grip. Once he had me in my room he released before leaning against the door. I was fuming so bad it took me a minute to realize there were tears running down my face. My fear as well as my anger was wired to my tearducks. That got embarrassing to say the least. Turning away from Edward I closed my eyes. It was only a second before his arms wrapped around me. I noticed I was shaking.
"Bella, calm down." He turned me and pulled me into his chest. "Breathe Bells, just calm down and breathe. It's okay. Anyone who knows you would know that it wasn't you that was out of line there. Charlie will not mistake your honesty for a lie, I promise you."
An exasperated scream let up from downstairs a few seconds before a door slammed. I shook my head, "Edward, I can't leave now. Charlie can't deal with this. I have to stay."
"No," he whispered against my hair. "Charlie is a grown man, an adult, and a police officer. He can deal with this. You, on the other hand, are exhausted. You are coming tonight."
At that moment there was a light meow by our feet and I was reminded of the kitten who had started all of this. I laughed and leaned down, picking him up. He began to purr and butted his head against my chin before turning a curious eye at Edward and meowing again. Edward smiled down at him and reached out to pat him. Eros wrapped his paws around the outreached hand and bit down.
"Eros, no! Stop it!" I said. The cat released at once.
Edward smiled, at me this time, "Look at you."
I shook my head, not wanting to imagine it. "I should go wash my face. I'm sorry about that Edward. And… I can't go…"
He sighed and was about to reply when there was a knock on the door. "Bella? Can I come in?"
I swallowed hard and Edward got the door. Charlie stood there, one hand buried in his hair. "She just ran down the street. I'm taking the cruiser out to find her. I want you to get out of here for the night, okay? Don't worry about a thing. I am going to call her parents tomorrow, let them know what's going on. Edward… I'm sorry about that. You shouldn't have been dragged in like that. We all know you are a good kid."
"Thank you Charlie."
He nodded and left, closing the door behind him. I turned to Edward who smiled, "Give me the cat and get ready. Alice was extremely anxious when I left. So I can only imagine what kind of state she is in now."
I sighed and handed poor little Eros over. He quickly climbed Edward's shirt and cuddled under his neck, purring. I smiled for a second, then went to stuff a bag with a few items. I held up a finger and left the room, heading to my bathroom with my bag so I grab a few things from there. When I came back Edward was laying on my bed, Eros happily asleep on his chest. Edward had his eyes closed so I took a minute to commit the image to memory. He was gorgeous, amazing to look at for everyone, male and female alike though the latter definitely took more enjoyment from it. I traced his face, his lips, his neck, his shoulders, his chest, and his arms, not allowing myself the pleasure, again, of going lower. He was like one of the Romans or Greeks, so beautiful they had to be carved out in stone, had to have their image preserved forever. I looked back up at his face and began to walk toward him, being as quite as possible in my movements. His eyes opened still, but I didn't stop my approach. He smiled kindly as I sat on the bed next to him, setting my bag beside me.
"Are you ready Bells?" he asked quietly.
I shook my head as I laid it down on his chest, right next to a lightly purring Eros, still able to see his eyes at the same time that I could hear his heart. It was not racing like mine was, but I doubted that this was its normal speed either. I closed my eyes and relaxed, listening as the tempo mellowed out. I don't think I ever fell asleep happier.
I woke some time later to whispers. "Be quite Alice. Don't wake her up."
"Where are you taking her?" asked a quite Alice.
"You tell me."
"Where did she fall asleep?"
"At her house," he replied.
"Where?"
"On my chest," he said, his voice even quieter than before.
"Then that is where she should wake. Just sleep with her on the couch. It could scare her to wake up alone and there is no sense in you climbing all those stairs with her."
"Why am I sleepi-"
"Because I said so brother. You know you are not going to put up a fight, so just lay down, I'll get pillows and blankets."
I sighed in my partial awareness, not really thinking about what they were saying, who the 'she' was, just happy to feel so warm. My head lifted a little higher to find a comfortable pillow, a place perfect for my head. It smelt familiar as well, absolutely delicious, and it brought with it feelings of even more comfort. I cuddled up to it and then fell back asleep.
I awoke again some time later to another whisper. "Sleep well Bella."
I shifted a little, finding myself completely comfortable in every way. "You too Edward."
I felt something warm touch my forehead for just a second but my awareness was bleeding away so quickly I only vaguely recognized them as lips.
It was a long time later that I woke yet again. Voices again.
"Edward, honey, where's Bella?"
The area at my back as well as draped over my side tensed for a second, then relaxed. "Right here."
"Is she still asleep?"
"Yes," he replied. "What time is it?"
"7. I was waking your sister up to go to school when she said that Bella was here, sleeping downstairs with you. I wanted to make sure she was okay."
"She's fine mom. Just tired. She hasn't slept in a few days and her cousin kind of sent her into emotional overdrive last night. I've never seen her look so…"
"I understand dear," she said, then paused. "Listen, I'm going to call the school and let them know that you three are not going to be there today. I want you to two to keep her as happy and comfortable as possible. I'll make sure to let Charlie know. Go back to sleep."
He yawned and the air made my hair move. His grip on me tightened a little as I shifted in his arms, cuddling closer until I could hear his heartbeat again. I was almost completely gone when he shifted so he was on his back and my head was on his chest. It woke me only because it put my arm at an awkward angle. I shifted, pulling it out from under me and draping it on his stomach without a thought. I was half on him, half beside him now, and completely content. I yawned then settled in to go back to sleep. He hugged me to him, "Go back to sleep Bella."
"Okay Edward."
"Goodnight Bells. Sleep well."
"Night Edward. I love you. You too."
"I love you too Bells-
I stopped typing instantly and stared at the line. I had been so caught up in my memory, the blurs slowly lifting as details I had never remember before poured out of my fingers. The line kept blurring and it always took a second for me to be able to see it again. I was crying, had been, it would seem, for some time. I hadn't even realized. I continued to stare at the words on my screen. I had to read it out loud just force my mind to accept the fact that it was actually there,
"I love you too Bells." My voice broke on every word. My head was heavier than it should be. My stomach felt as if I had been punched a hundred times. My breathing was too fast, too harsh. I pushed away from my computer, ramming right back into the wall and just staring at the white screen. No. That part couldn't be real. That never could have happened. He had never said that he loved me before… he never would. But I could hear it, his voice, clear as day in my head. I could still feel him holding me. No no no! It couldn't be real. My mind was convinced it was but I knew otherwise.
A sob escaped my throat as I heard it again, then I pulled myself forward, highlighting the text. The door opened, without a knock this time, and I glanced at Alice at the same time that I hit delete. Her arms were open to me as she ran to my side. I sobbed again as I reached held down the power button, forcing the computer to shut of right away. Alice wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug, pulling me out of my office, through the living room, and into her room. She laid me on the bed and hugged me tight, just letting me cry.
It all hit so hard. He was gone. Forever. He wasn't mine, never really had been. I couldn't have him back, would never be able to feel his arms around me, never be able to feel his lips on my face. I wouldn't be able to run to him when I was scared or sick or lonely or sad ever again. He had helped me then, but he was gone now. And it wasn't like last time. There would be no 'I'll see you soon Bells' with a tight squeeze, no reassurance that we would all get together as soon as possible. He had left, and I couldn't even remember his goodbye now, no way to cope or find closure. I was alone, alone like he would never be.
A/N: So, Eros, the adorable little kitten, is actually my cat. Completely based around him really. There is no bigger pest in the world, but I love him more than almost anything. I'll get a few pics onto my profile so you can see the little demon. Check them out!