John had his gaze trained on the carpet as Punk spoke. He was sitting on the edge of the hotel bed, Punk across from him in one of the chairs in the room. John hadn't spoken since Punk had started with his explanations.
The swirling mess of emotions that had started as soon as he had opened his door and found Punk standing there was getting worse. He was angry, disbelieving, in pain. But the words did sink in.
That Jericho had attacked Punk and threatened John, that Jericho had attempted-and succeeded-in destroying his relationship with Punk. That Punk had allowed him to do it. And then there was the disbelief, the uncertainty that Punk was telling the truth.
"John?"
He stood abruptly. "You need to go," he said. Punk stood as well.
"John-"
"What exactly did you expect with this?" He turned to face Punk fully. "You let Jericho do this? You let him force you into this? And that's only if you're telling the truth."
"I am telling the truth." There was no anger in Punk's voice, however, which for some reason, only made John angrier.
"And you expected what? That telling me this would simply make everything alright again? You should have told me from the beginning." He really hated the lies.
"No," Punk admitted but from the look on his face, John guessed that had been what he was hoping. His hands were back in his pockets but he didn't flinch away from John's angry gaze. "I didn't expect that but I couldn't risk you getting hurt."
"Great job on that one," John said sarcastically. "I wasn't hurt at all when you broke things off."
"I'm sorry-"
"Its not enough," John cut him off. "I can't just go back to where we were before, especially after the way you lied. And now I'm not even sure if you're still lying or not…"
"I love you." Punk blurted the words out, stopping John cold. Punk even seemed surprised that he'd said it but after a moment, when he spoke again, there was sincerity in his tone. "I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if they had followed through because I am in love with you."
They were both silent for a minute, Punk waiting for his response, and John swore he saw fear in his eyes. For a second, he wanted to pull Punk to him, wanted to respond in kind but he couldn't, couldn't yet get passed the lies, couldn't get past the weeks of misery he'd had to endure because of those lies.
"I thought I told you to leave." This time, Punk did flinch at his tone and he nodded, for the first time refusing to meet John's gaze. He left the room slowly, without another word.
It wasn't until several minutes after he'd left that John fell back to sit on his bed again and he rested his head in his hands.
Xxxxxxxx
It should have been expected. Punk had tried not to get his hopes up, had known that there was a big chance that John wouldn't want him with him anymore. He'd told himself that several times but the pain was still there after he left John's room.
He supposed telling someone you loved them only to be told to leave would always hurt, no matter how much you prepared yourself for that outcome. And it did…hurt. Hurt even worse that he deserved it.
He'd always kind of figured he'd be the one to screw up his relationship with John.
Xxxxxxxx
RAW came and went, leaving Punk in an even worse mood. As soon as he'd heard about the battle royal to decide the number one contender for his title, he'd expected it to be Chris and he'd been right. Chris had won.
It looked like Hunter had been right. Chris did not look happy with him but Kane hadn't shown all night, at least, and Chris hadn't gone after John either. At the very least, one thing had come out of the mess.
He couldn't make himself worry too much about Chris though. Not after what had happened with John. The cloud of depression that had settled around him after he'd left John's room wouldn't leave.
He'd felt this before. He'd only ever been in love with two people and one of those people was going to be coming after him heading into Wrestlemania. And he couldn't quite believe that he had ever loved Chris in the way that he loved John.
Xxxxxxxx
RAW was awful. John had used some of the anger and pain he'd been feeling since he'd kicked Punk out of his room to fuel himself. He'd cut down Eve first, and then Rock. It had been easy, those promos. The words had flowed easily, easier than they usually did.
He'd also watched the battle royal and knew that Jericho was number one contender now but he couldn't worry about that. He'd kicked Punk out. Punk had told John that he loved him and he'd kicked the man out. He'd made that final decision. He didn't have the right to worry.
It was the right decision. He had to keep telling himself that. He had to keep reminding himself of the pain Punk had caused him. Because he wouldn't let someone do that to him again. He couldn't.
But Punk's words had affected him. Because he had wanted to respond in a completely different manner. He did love Punk. He was in love with Punk. He just wasn't sure if he could trust Punk any longer.