Chapter 4 [Physician's Chamber—A Half Turn of the Hourglass Later]
Merlin studied a borrowed homeopathic text at Gaius' table. He marveled at the depth of Avalon's knowledge. His eyes drank in the names of diseases he'd never encountered in even the most erudite of secular medical works. He took in various cures and remedies spanning straight herbal sources, others employing a combination of herbs and magic. He bemoaned Ignorance's and Prejudice's respective blocks against this knowledge's helpfulness. What we could do together. Why can't Arthur and the others understand? He shook his head. A frown curled his mouth like a sour prune. He glanced toward the empty bed in the corner.
Gaius had spent more time on the road than normal lately. Granted the Southrons had left a great many scars and wounds in their wake. Yes the plague epidemic had spiked upward in the western provinces. Still the elderly mentor had seemed uneasy of late. He still cared of course. Still he'd been distant of late.
Merlin sipped from his wooden cup. The water soothed his dry mouth and throat. He felt refreshed. Tension eased up on his shoulders and back ever so slightly. The energies flowing from the book and into him did that more so for him. That's better.
It is your true self, Merlin. It is the part Gaius teaches you to hide, Kilgarrah reminded him.
Merlin shook his head. Kilgarrah, some things are necessary. We have to survive.
Yes we do. Such measures are so necessary that they drive allies into becoming enemies. Do they not? the Great Dragon chided.
Merlin recalled Morgana's words well from their previous encounter in Avalon well. Her anger still stung at his ears. As you might recall, I wanted to help her. Gaius and you obsessed about killing her. Don't be so high and mighty, Kilgarrah.
I sought to protect the Young King. Now who will protect him from himself? Kilgarrah deflected.
Who will protect me from prophecy? Merlin stopped as soon as the question escaped his mind over the Link. For the previous decade, his singular focus had been the Prophecy. He concentrated on protecting Arthur from any and all dangers keeping his King in a bubble at times. While Loyalty and Duty still drove him, Perspective shoved him out of that particular vein. He'd begun to realize that Arthur would do what he would regardless if Merlin, Gwen or anyone advised him to or not. He'd act like a clot pole whether it was right or not. And he'd turn on anyone as he felt necessary too. Arthur loses his knights. He'll get others. Still they won't be like the ones we have now.
Change is a part of Life's continuity, Young Warlock. You should know that. In fact, I believe you are grappling with the Princess' proposal? It seems Destiny has bigger plans for you. You might learn from your friend, Sir Gawain, Merlin. Do not resist change. Rather, like a dandelion seed on the wind, you should ride it to the most fertile of soil. Find that patch, plant yourself and flourish. That, it seems, is a hundred miles or so to your west not where you are now, Kilgarrah lectured.
I know Princess Mithian cares. I care too. Still I serve Arthur. Deeds or not, he won't let me go. I'm not noble or special, Merlin disagreed.
Not special? You are Emrys of the Druids! You are the last surviving dragon lord. You are the heir of Balinor. You are Mithian of Nemeth's chosen one. And there is something else which will render Arthur Pendragon's claim on you moot, Merlin. Yes you can be extremely blind to certain things. Still you are special. You listen to Arthur and Gaius far too much. I would urge you to speak with Malodius upon your next encounter for more. I am sure Princess Mithian and High Priestess Freya would add their support to that as well, Kilgarrah pressed on. I leave you to consider that well. As we prepare for Samhain, consider what Balinor has left to you. Even now, he has prepared your way toward Service and Duty. It is much more than polishing trinkets and enduring abuse. So much more….
After Kilgarrah went silent, Merlin muddled over his brother of sorts' lecture. Much as it had in Ealdor, he could feel Destiny or perhaps some other force shoving him away from Comfort's familiarity. Despite all of the hiding and concealment of the previous decade, Camelot was home now. The royals, knights and household were his familia. Instinct compelled him to think of them first.
Now though others clamored for his attention. Friends either ruled or served prominent roles in other kingdoms. The encounters with Cedric and the Southrons reminded of how foreign interests could endanger that at any point. Avalon's and the triple goddess certainly had made their presence felt. He knew Hunith could have the privileged life she deserved rather than the day to day struggles in a peasant hovel. And then Mithian's love and warmth registered on him through the Link. She didn't just look at him as a means to an end or some tool. She genuinely loved him.
And more amazingly, he loved her. Especially over the previous six months, he'd found himself looking out the front castle windows or from the top of the wall at the western road. He'd sniff her favorite wildflowers in the woods or the royal gardens. He'd sniff the scented handkerchief she'd left for him. His heart longed for her. Several times he'd sworn he was looking at another citadel flying pennants of familiar Nemeth green from its ramparts. He'd felt her presence but didn't dare communicate for fear that others might listen in. He longed for her.
Can it happen? Kilgarrah and the others say it's possible. Still Arthur won't let it happen. He relies too much on me. I…. He heard a knock at the chamber door. He filed the thought away for another time. Then he opened to door to find Gwen standing there. "Gwen! Good evening!" He bowed quickly.
"Good evening, Merlin. Might I come in?" She glanced at him expectantly.
"What? Of course." He raised an eyebrow not understanding the question. Even if she was the Queen, she was his friend. He wasn't about to deny her an audience in any event. He showed her into the chamber. Then he glanced out into the passage. "No guards?"
"I have business between you and me. Close the door please," she informed him. When he'd done so, she frowned. "Apologies, Merlin. I'm still getting used to the new role, garb and just being where I am. I don't mean to talk down to you."
"Gwen, you're the Queen. You are above me. I understand," he assured her. While he wanted to gripe about Arthur, he held himself back. He couldn't relax his guard that much. "Is Arthur all right?"
"There doesn't seem to be any maladies or sickness. Physically he's perhaps a little tired. He's stressed though. I've never seen him so terse or moody to be honest. Your replacement had to go home on leave to tend to his sick mother. And this right before the Samhain festival." She rubbed the back of her neck. "Merlin, I know you're hoping Arthur would take you back. I'm sorry. I don't understand why he's being the way he is toward you." She shook her head. Sympathy showed in her face.
"It's his choice, Gwen. We all do our duty. He tells us what to do," he noted glumly.
"I've argued with him on your behalf, Merlin. Frankly he's still upset about the reaction to your performance at the last gathering. The other monarchs are being slow to resume negotiations. Some want him to issue you a public apology," she reported.
"That'll never happen. No wonder he won't even look at me. Maybe I can talk with Percival or the other rulers on his behalf? I know I'm just a servant but…." he offered.
"I wish that would work. Arthur's pride is getting in the way." She frowned before holding up a scroll. "I received this from Nemeth. It seems that King Rodor is accompanying Princess Mithian for the meeting."
"Oh?" Anxiety flared within his heart. The butterflies started beating against the sides of his stomach again. He gulped. "Maybe Arthur might assign Grace or Penelope? They're his best housekeepers."
"He left those details to me. It seems that he had to lead the knights on another patrol. So I took certain liberties." She tapped the scroll in her hand. Mischief or perhaps Satisfaction pulled her mouth into a smile. She positively beamed.
"Uh. Okay." His fingers twitched even more by now. He knew her expression well. He could almost feel her scheming from across the chamber. "I'm afraid to ask."
"Relax, Merlin. It's actually a rather pleasant assignment for a change. Her eyes sparkled into his. "I'm delegating."
"Delegating?" he asked.
"Why yes! Imagine that we're short staffed. Princess Mithian is going to need an extraordinary valet for the duration of her stay. We can't risk offending her father either. So…." She shrugged.
He stared at her. "You made me her valet? I can do that?"
She cleared her throat. "Yes I believe you can. There is a curious line in Camelot's charter where it comes to royal orders to the household. If the King refuses to take command of a situation, it falls to the next authority figure in line. As his wife, regent and the Queen, that would be me. And as Queen, I am commanding you to spend as much time with the Princess and King as you can. There are several aspects to consider. First of all, from a diplomatic standpoint, it keeps you in the royal household and away from the stables and other such filthy places. In that way, we aren't making matters worse on that front with the other rulers. Second, I do need my best servants tending to the royal guests. Third, I know how Princess Mithian and you feel about each other. This way you two can spend time together without anyone being the wiser. Fourth, you can impress King Rodor by just being your usual self."
He nodded. Despite some feelings of being herded ever so slightly, his earlier musings only lent weight to what Gwen had said earlier. He wanted to ask Mithian about this. Still he could feel her sleeping in his mind. "You certainly have planned for everything. I suppose the Princess suggested it?"
"She requested your service. So has her father. Again diplomatic reasons can work for overall agenda," she reiterated.
"Yeah. I imagine they can. Gwen, what happens if I do something? I could do something wrong. I…." he worried.
"Merlin, calm down. You can be a bit clumsy sometimes. Still you do a great job. I wouldn't put this task on anyone else. Consider it a track to a permanent position?" she assured him.
"Permanent position?" He glanced at her. Dread and Skepticism were more than prevalent in his mood.
"Yes. Any time that Princess Mithian's here in Camelot, you are hereby assigned to her. If she chooses to treat you like let's say a nobleman in her presence, that's for her to decide," she declared.
"Gwen, I'm not…."
"Merlin, Arthur doesn't recognize that because he doesn't want to. You've more than fulfilled the three requirements both for here and Nemeth. I'm sure that you've proven your worth to Percival on the battlefield more than once. The argument could be made for you to be a noble in Mercian eyes as well. I know the truth. I respect that you want to keep this a secret along with your magic. Granted I don't agree with you. Still the fact that you're still thinking of Arthur despite everything only makes me want to do it more. If anyone deserves this, it's you, Merlin. Besides you have two ladies to make happy as well."
"The Princess and my mother," he conceded.
"You're seeing my point. Merlin, there are many ways you can protect Arthur besides being his valet. Granted I'd like you here for selfish reasons. Still, as a Prince, you can fight openly alongside him. You can help more people in several kingdoms. Besides you helped me. Now I can do the same for Princess Mithian and you," she clarified.
His eyes twinkled at her. "I appreciate it, Gwen." He walked toward the window. His eyes gazed out toward the western woods and beyond them once again. "You sound like Princess Mithian."
"I know she's made that argument to you." Seeing him stiffen, she added, "I'm in your corner, Merlin. As a Prince, you can do more good than a thousand valets can. Besides you can be there for Avalon and others with magic."
"There's that too." He had to admit she had just nailed every bullseye in her plan. "I so want to believe that it can happen. Arthur and you went through so much."
"And it's because of your faith that it happened, Merlin. Just have faith in yourself. Do that and your friends can deal with the rest for you." She offered a royal nod of the head. "For the Prince in Waiting. Do have a good evening."
"And to you, Gwen." He bowed to her. Then he opened the door. "Let me know if you need anything."
"Always. Thank you again, Merlin. I'm sure King Rodor and Princess Mithian will appreciate your care and consideration." With that, she departed back toward the stairs and the royal chambers above.
He closed the door slowly. Disbelief and Joy overwhelmed his thinking.
Gwen had just given him the perfect opportunity.
Now if he could just pull it off…