I hope that Haymitch found someone. It was all Peeta Mellark could think of as he rode his horse towards the barn and cabin at the top of the hill. He'd been out checking his crops and mending a couple of fences since day break. He didn't own a lot of cattle, just a few heads for milk and meat but they had proved to be fractious creatures and were forever working to reverse his continuous repairs. His horse picked up the pace as they got closer. He knew Peeta would have an apple or carrot for him upon their return. Peeta sighed. He had a tendency to spoil things that he loved.
When Smokey had been watered and given not one but two apples Peeta took another for himself and sat down at his small kitchen table to eat. He grabbed some jerky as well. He would have preferred a more complete meal but he had no time to prepare anything and none of his dishes were clean. It only served as yet another reminder that he was in desperate need of a wife. His clothes needed mending and he never came even close to getting caught up on the chores so he hadn't attended Sunday services in months. He had barely seen anyone since Haymitch had left.
What "business" the old man had back east Peeta couldn't imagine but he had insisted that he had needed to go. It was the first time Peeta had seen him do anything except for feed his geese and drink in well over 3 years. He had a cabin several miles from his and always stopped in to check on the younger man when he went into town to buy provisions. Sometimes he stayed for a meal or even to play cards and the two had struck up a friendship. Peeta had never asked him his story and he had returned the kindness. Haymitch must have money saved up because his wagon was usually loaded down with goods but beyond that he actually knew surprisingly little about him.
Perhaps that made it doubly foolish then that he was counting on the old guy to bring him back a bride. He had mentioned the lack of a lady friend several times and advised Peeta to take on an Indian woman but he had declined. He wanted a proper wife to share his home with and he wanted children. He knew most white men weren't opposed to having a few with a squaw but Peeta knew how cruel the world could be and he didn't want to do harm to a little one by bringing it into society in such a disadvantageous way.
Instead, Peeta had sent a sack full of hard coin with a drunk and trusted him to go halfway across the country with it and bring him back a woman who would be willing to become his wife sight unseen. He just hoped his trust in the man hadn't been misplaced. Not that stealing from him could be the only cause for the delay. He had no idea what all Haymitch needed to accomplish before returning. It could have taken a considerable amount of time to locate a suitable female. He could also have encountered bad weather or even an untimely death. Perhaps Peeta would never know and he would spend the remainder of his days tending his animals and talking to himself.
He recalled his last conversation with Haymitch before he left. "Any special kind of gal I'm expected to be bring'in fer ya?" He had asked, merriment dancing in his voice. Peeta considered the question seriously despite the humor with which it had been asked. "Well if I was able to choose her myself she would be tall, not quite as much as me but tall for a woman with long legs." Haymitch laughed but Peeta wasn't willing to give up the fantasy. He recalled Madge, his boyhood crush and the girl he would likely have married if everything hadn't changed. She was the only real reference he had for love and beauty.
"Deep blue eyes and blonde hair" He continued closing his eyes. "Upbeat and high energy and always singing and smiling. She should be able to read so that she can teach our children. She needs to be Christian too of course and have been raised right. I sent you quite a bit of money for a dowry and lots of families aren't as well off as they used to be so you should be able to find someone. Just make sure she has some grace and refinement. I know life out here is tough but I would only be expecting her to do the household chores and now that the slaves are free I bet women are doing those anyway."
Haymitch was shaking his head. "What kind of fool think'in is go'in on in yer head?" he asked. "What you need is a tough gal who can come out and help ya make a go of it. Ain't no southern belle ever go'in to be happy liv'in in a one room cabin out on the plains. She's go'in to want a proper house with other women folk round. I'm tell'in ya you'd have better luck with an Injun woman or a newly freed one."
When Peeta declined the suggestion again Haymtich had grumbled but taken the sack. "I know I can't have it all" Peeta admitted. "Looks aren't that important. If you can find a good woman who is willing to move here who comes from a decent family, can read and knows her numbers that would be great." The old man agreed although he didn't look happy about it.
Now Peeta wished that he had included one more thing on this list: age. He had mentioned his desire for children before so he was confident that Haymitch realized that she would need to be at least young enough to have a son or two with him. But she could be quite a bit older than his 26 years and still be in her child bearing years. He would love her even if she was 40 of course but it seemed unlikely that there would still be maids of that many years willing to take a husband so easily who remained untouched. He would also prefer her not to be too young. Men married women as young as 16 all the time but he wasn't sure he would feel comfortable bedding a girl who had so recently started her courses without even courting her first.
He shrugged his shoulders. It was no matter. He had no choice in it now anyways. If Haymitch returned with a woman for him he would marry her and give her the best life that he could. He looked at the chair across from him. Soon she would be sitting in it and glancing at him shyly. He would order bolts of cloth and she would make dresses for herself and maybe curtains for the cabin as well. Perhaps a table cloth too. He recalled his mother appreciating such things but then quickly turned his thoughts away from her.
He turned to see the fireplace. They would sit in front of it during long winters and he would entertain her with stories and she would read from the Bible. Once he had some help he could catch up on the work and have time to take her to Church on Sunday. She would meet other ladies there and on occasion they would visit neighboring farms too. She would be happy here. He knew it. He would do everything possible to make her happy.
He knew he should get back to work but instead he removed his boots and dirty shirt and laid down on the top of his bed. He turned and laid a hand on the empty spot beside him. He loved her already and he would earn her love in return. She would be skittish at first. Every woman was on her wedding night. But he would be gentle and would show her how good it could be. He had been a charming lad in his youth and he was confident that there was not a lady that he couldn't win over. He could only hope that his limited knowledge would be enough to make her first time a good one. He wanted it so much to be. After all, it would be his first time too and he wanted to do it as often as she would let him.
He was a little ashamed to admit the number of nights he had laid here and imagined her and touched himself thinking about her beauty. He could almost see her pale complexion and feel the soft skin of her palm as she stroked him. He was getting hard thinking of her womanly curves and how her body would complement his own. In his mind's eye he could see her eyes closed in pleasure and hear her sounds as she found fulfillment (or what he imagined they would sound like). He had seen a naked woman once. At least the top half of one. It was before the war when his older brother Rye had brought his girlfriend into the barn. Peeta had been young, maybe 15 and he couldn't resist peeking over the edge of the loft to see them. He had ignored the image of Rye's bare ass and focused solely on the breasts of the girl beneath him.
Peeta often thought of her or of Madge when he relieved himself but soon he would have another woman to fill this thoughts and fantasies. A real flesh and blood female who would submit to his attentions and blossom under his affections. At least he hoped that she would. Of course she would. He was only medium height but he was stocky and strong and he would love her tenderly. The only thing he was worried about was his limp. Luckily, he hadn't lost it completely, but his left leg was partially damaged due to an old injury and it didn't function normally. Most days he no longer noticed but his new wife was going to become aware of his handicap. He prayed that she would be kind and forgiving and not judge him too harshly.
Peeta shook the thoughts from his mind as he donned his shirt and pulled on his boots. Everything would work itself out. People were much more used to men with physical limitations and even deformities than they used to be. He began to whistle as he walked through the pasture. Haymitch would come through for him. He was confident of it. His bride to be was probably on her way to him now just dying for the moment when she could fall into his arms.
With every step she took Katniss drew farther and farther from home. At first it was exhilarating. She was finally going to have a different life. But as the days passed and the scenery changed her sense of foreboding began to build. She would never see Cato again but she had no way of knowing if her soon to be husband would be any better. She prayed that he would be better. She needed him to be better. It was one thing to be the employee of an arrogant tyrant it was another thing altogether to be the property of one.
She shouldn't be thinking so negatively. She had no reason to assume that the man was intolerable other than the fact that he wasn't able to find a wife by means of typical social acquaintance. However, from what she had heard that wasn't out of the ordinary on the prairie. Men often came west first to set up a shelter and a working farm before a wife and children could be brought onto it.
Haymitch was little help. After offering his initial description of the man when making his proposal to her he had seldom mentioned him. In fact, he hardly spoke to her at all. Most days they just road on, looking at the horizon in silence. In the evenings they talked of the land, the provisions, and the horses. During the day, Haymitch refrained from being so intoxicated that he would fall off of his horse but by the time the sun was setting he threw that caution to the wind and typically set to snoring shortly after his bottle was gone and Katniss had finished the dishes.
When the chores were complete she would spread out her bedroll and try her best not to think about what awaited her at the end of the journey. Nearly every night she failed. What would he look like? Even more importantly, what would he smell like? She wasn't a fool. Her betrothed was a subsistence farmer. They would be living in close quarters, probably no different than the former slave cabin she had shared with Cecilia and her children.
She couldn't decide if she wanted him to be old or young. On one hand, she couldn't help but resent the idea of being married to a man who was well past his prime. At 21 she still had many child bearing years remaining and she wanted a baby. It completely terrified her but if she could offer the child the protection of being born into wedlock with a father who would care and provide, she wanted one with a desperation that surprised her.
She had spent years trying to damp it down, this propensity to love and nurture. She hadn't had much hope of a bright future and she would not bring a child into this world to suffer. The prospect of having something to offer had lit the flame of hope anew and she could only pray that it did not turn out to be in vain. If her husband were too far on in years he may not be able to impregnate her and he may not desire a child. Hell, for all she knew he could have been married several times prior and have a brood that was fully grown. The thought made her feel hollow inside.
When she wasn't busy worrying that Peeta would be too old she worried that he would be young. Men in their 20s and 30s were wild and impetuous. A man of that age may not be willing to accept her plain looks and sordid history. He might refuse to be saddled with her and then what would she do? Haymitch hadn't seen him in months. They might arrive at the homestead to discover that he had already taken a bride.
The clear advantage in wedding a man closer to her age would be that he would want children. He had already set up his property so he would need more hands for the fields and he would be wanting them soon. That would actually sit just fine with her if she didn't have to go through the process of getting them. A man just starting out in life would have strength and enthusiasm for making the farm a success. But he would also have desire and stamina when it came to mating as well.
Her thoughts focused on that more than anything else. It would be happening to her again soon and there was nothing she could do about it. He would want to use her body and it would be his right to do so. She cringed at the idea of someone like Haymitch lying atop her but at least the pain would be minimized. A man like Cato would rip her apart, punish her tender flesh whenever she wasn't on her monthly. She couldn't help but dwell on it and more than once she lost her supper in the grass beside her bedroll she was so worked up at the knowledge that the actions people so ironically called "love making" would be a part of her life again. It was an act that was certainly necessary for procreation but men were complete barbarians for enjoying it.
Katniss did her best to keep her curiosity and nervous anticipation to herself but one cool morning she just couldn't take the uncertainty anymore. She rode alongside Haymitch for several minutes before working up the courage to speak. "What is it like?" She asked. He glanced at her out of one eye. "Where we are going I mean" she clarified. "Can you tell me about it?" He nodded thoughtfully. "Yep" he answered reaching up to stroke his beard. He was silent for so long she began to wonder if it was all he would say on the matter.
She was almost startled when he spoke again. "Corn an soy beans grow pretty well there but the main crop's wheat. When we get closer ya will see it. Wave'in grain fields as far as yer eye can see. Most will be cut down right now, but it'ill be clear where it was grow'in. That an cattle and hogs too. Most folks out that way do one er the other. Keep livestock or work the land." She nodded. In truth it sounded lovely. "And Mr. Mellark is a farmer, right?" she asked. It seemed an innocent way to bring him up without the appearance of digging for personal information.
Haymitch smiled and she lowered her head to hide the blush rising on her cheeks. He knew what she was about. "Yep" he told her. "He's got a place and a pretty good one. I would say bout 175 acres. He ain't gett'in everything he could out of it but he ain't fail'in neither. Needs help though. Too much work for one man." She thought on this. It sure as hell was. She couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't hired someone or brought a relative or friend out with him.
"He's got some critters too" Haymitch continued. "A few head of cattle, chickens, and the damnedest horse I ever seen." She gave him a questioning look. "This horse ya see shoulda died, I mean it should be dead. Poor thing got shot up. Prolly in one of the battles fought out that way. Managed to survive and ran away from the army. He told me one day it just showed up at his place. It was still limp'in and cry'in a lot and it wasn't too kind on people neither. But Peeta he took that thing under his wing he did. Took it in and fixed it up and cared for it and now he's good as new. Other than some scars nobody would ever guess the sad shape it had been in."
Katniss considered this. A man with that much compassion and patience with a horse couldn't be all that bad. It was also reassuring that he had a substantial but not sprawling piece of property. He would need her help but it was doable for a single family to plant and harvest. It in combination with the animals Haymitch mentioned would certainly provide appropriately for them. She couldn't hide the smile from her face. She wouldn't be hungry again.
"He got help from some of the local men" Haymitch added. "Help raise'in the barn and he done finished it last year but the house he built himself mostly. It's a one roomer but it's got a wood floor in it and even a real cook stove." She looked over at him in surprise. She had expected more primitive conditions. She was certainly used to them.
"Where is Mr. Mellark from?" she asked, trying not to sound too interested. "Don't know" Haymitch replied. That struck her as odd. "What do you mean?" she asked. Mr. Mellark was his friend. How did he not know where he had come from? "He's never mentioned it" Haymitch said offhandedly. "Definitely somewhere in the south though judge'in by his accent." Katniss had to laugh a little at that comment as Haymitch's was much thicker than her own. His reply worried her though. He had complimentary things to say about Mr. Mellark but how well did he really know him?
"How did you come to know Mr. Mellark?" She asked, hoping to continue the conversation. "Neighbors" Haymitch answered. "He come out here a few years back look'in to set up a farm and make a liv'in out of it. I have a cabin bout 3 miles north. I always pass his place go'in to town to buy supplies an I started stop'in in on my way there or back for a smoke or a quick bite, or sometimes even a game a cards. Over time he started talk'in bout needed a wife and I agreed to find one if I could when I was back east and now here we are."
"So just like that, you met this man a few times and had some quick chats and he said go get me a wife and you said ok and brought me back out here to marry him?" Her voice sounded strange even in her own ears and she was beginning to feel breathless. It just seemed so unbelievable that this man could change her life so flippantly. "Well" Haymitch said. "Wasn't just like that. I mean, I don't see him but every couple of weeks but he is mostly the only person I ever see so I feel like I knows him might well. He was always talk'in bout how he needed a female round. How he wanted a family to be raised on his land and how lonely he was at times. I told him that he should find a squaw but he wasn't so keen on that idea. He wanted a nice gal from back home to marry."
Katniss gasped. "So you brought me? He is going to be so disappointed." The old man looked surprised. "What makes ya say that girl?" She shook her head in an effort to clear it. "If he wanted a woman from back east he likely wanted someone who is more…" she struggled to find the right words. "I don't know…clean" she finished. "As I am sure Cato told you I have a past Haymtich and I'm not very refined and I am a field hand for heaven's sake."
Haymitch seemed undeterred. "I know" he said beaming. "Yer are just what he needs. I know he might have some other idears in mind but yer young and strong and spirited. You'll make a good partner fer him in farm'in. Yer smart and ya know how to work hard. That an yer a survivor. That's what it takes on the prairie. Ya gots to have the will to make someth'in out out a noth'in. It might take some time fer him to git used to ya but he will see that I'm right."
"Them pretty looks ain't go'in to hurt neither" he told her with a grin. She shook her head. "You are being ridiculous. I certainly hope you didn't pick me for my appearance because Mr. Mellark is likely to believe you are blind if you tell him that." He cocked an eyebrow at her. "I'm short" she explained. "Short and small and plain." He had the audacity to laugh at her insecurity. "They may be on the small side, but you've curves in all the right places and I'm sure Peeta ain't go'in to have no trouble see'in that."
She blushed and road on ahead of him. He was an old fool anyway. She was positive that Mr. Mellark was starved for female attention so she was sure that he would bed her but he would not find her lovely or beautiful for she wasn't. Hopefully his appearance, hygiene, and manners would prove tolerable too. It may not be a love match but she was sure that working the homestead together they could find common ground and perhaps maybe even a solid partnership over time.