The NICU was large and terrifying. It seemed more like a horrible experiment of science fiction than a hospital. Babies too small to possibly live on their own trapped underneath tubes and wires. Parents moving around like zombies. While others handled their child's care like robots. Doctors and nurses running around frantically trying to save these tiny lives. Then there she was in the back corner away from the others. Too small to live on her own buried under tubes and wires. A bright yellow sign declaring she was born at thirty weeks and that her mother had died from preeclampsia. At the end of her incubator was a note card "Baby Girl Gibbs, Born March 1st 12:45 PM, 10 inches long, 1lb." That was it, one pound. She was tiny and Gibbs just did not see how she would survive. Tony said she would fight but Tony was a damn good liar when he needed to be.
Ziva held her hand over her stomach. She was only twenty-eight weeks she just barely showed. She remembered how excited she was to be pregnant at the same time as Kelly. She had thought Tony and her would get to share their first parenthood experience with the Palmer's. Even though the Palmer's were playing a whole different ball game in their adoption. They were still starting out tougher. Then the adoption fell through. Tali was born four days after Breena found out she was pregnant. Ziva hardly called that sharing the experience. Just the day before they had been arguing about who would deliver first. Ziva was two weeks behind but Tali had been born ten days early and the doctor had mentioned possibly doing a c-section at thirty-seven weeks due to her not being a candidate for a VBAC. Kelly had delivered first but the fun was gone.
Baby Girl was not able to be held just yet but the doctors were saying she would be ready soon. She was small but thriving. So they said but Gibbs was not seeing it. How could something so small and delicate be thriving? She was barely even alive. If she were doing so well why did she need oxygen and so many machines? Why had this happened?
"You can talk to her if you want." One of the nurses offered.
"I don't want to get too attached," Gibbs replied.
Before the nurse could respond an alarm sounded. An automated voice called out a code for the baby three beds down from Baby Girl. Gibbs watched as they rushed over to the small incubator. They did everything perfectly. Gibbs had seen it done on adults enough times. The parents screamed and begged but to no avail. The doctor called time of death and the parents fell to the floor howling and screaming their son's name. This child was twice as big as Baby Girl, born at thirty-four weeks, and supposedly thriving. What the hell chance did Baby Girl have if a baby way stronger could not survive?
Anna watched the world soar past from her seat on the train. Chloe sat beside her rambling on and on about her imaginary horse Teeny. Alex was laughing it up with an elderly man who previously had been sitting alone with a scowl on his face. Alex was one of those people who could make friends with anyone. Sean was in his own world as always. She worried especially for Sean in this situation. Even though he was technically the oldest of the children. He was the oldest physically or officially but the youngest mentally.
"Why are we going home early?" Chloe asked.
"Uncle Gibbs needs our help," Anna replied.
Gibbs had all he could take of the NICU. He escaped to the safety of the waiting room. He fell onto a chair and began to sob. How the hell was he supposed to be strong? If he could not even be strong then how was Baby Girl expected to be strong? He had so many doubts about her survival. More doubts than hope. This was a scenario where hope was near impossible. He wondered how the other parents were doing it. He wished he could ask but at this moment he could barely move.
Tony reluctantly returned home. Vance had dismissed the team for the day. McGee was home with his children, Abby was heading to the hospital. Tony prayed she did not go overboard with sympathy. He knew she meant well. He also knew that she and Gibbs mourned differently. He mourned depressed and angry. Even a kind gesture could be met with extreme rage from a depressed Gibbs. Pushing is worried about Abby aside he headed into the house. Tali was racing around the living room. Ziva was sitting on the porch weeping.
"Z? Are you alright?" Tony asked.
"I can't believe she's gone." Ziva sighed.
"Me either" Tony replied.
"How's Gibbs?" Ziva asked.
"As well as you can expect," Tony replied.
"What about the baby?" Ziva asked.
She's fighting." Tony replied.
"What are her chances?" Ziva asked.
"They wouldn't tell me but being honest it could go either way," Tony admitted.
Abby was going on and on about this nun she bowled with and all the sick babies she had prayed over. She like Tony was insisting that Baby Girl would beat the odds. It was taking all he had not to just go off on her. How could everybody around him be so ignorant?
"SHUT-UP! JUST SHUT-UP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT NUNS OR BABIES WHO SURVIVED! MY DAUGHTER IS DEAD AND MY GRANDDAUGHTER IS DYING! DON'T SPREAD BULLSHIT TO ME! JUST SHUT-UP! I DON'T CARE! NOBODY CARES! JUST SHUT-UP! ABBY!" Jethro snapped.
Jethro instantly regretted his words. Abby was taken aback and visibly hurt. Abby bit her lip and whirled around racing from the room. She was heavily sobbing. Jethro wanted to go after her but knew he was probably the last person she wanted to see. He fell back onto the couch. He had really hoped that Abby would forgive him. He hoped that somebody would stay by his side. Because right now as much as he hated to admit it. He needed somebody. He really, really needed somebody.
A/N: Will Gibbs be able to accept help? The new chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.