It took them both some time to get used to living together. For the first week Peeta still felt a sense of surprise when he would turn around and see her standing there. It was a strange feeling to have another human being so close, especially a young woman but it was certainly not an unwelcome one. She proved to be an extraordinarily hard worker and he had to admit that some days he was ready to quit long before her.
The farm work came to Katniss naturally and she found that she no longer resented it as she had in the last few years. All of their effort would contribute to their comfort in the long winter months ahead and would make way for a more plentiful harvest next year. Every ounce of toil served to better both herself and her husband rather some abusive or distant landlord. She had things to look forward to.
One day she caught him with a puzzled look on his face. "Something got you thinking?" she asked bringing him their shared canteen of water.
He took it with a grin. He liked this; the little intimacies that had already become routine for them. The small talk, the fact that she cared enough to notice and read his expressions. "I was just recalling the yields I've gotten from this area. They were actually a lot better the first year I was here and that seems strange."
She took time to consider this. Her kerchief had already been discarded and her braid was falling out. Loose strands framed her face. She was awfully pretty when she was thinking. "What did you plant here last year?" she asked.
"Wheat" he answered.
"And the year before that?" she questioned.
"Wheat" he told her again.
"Well that's part of your problem" she said with a grin. She was downright beautiful when she smiled. He wasn't sure how he had ever seen her as any less than appealing. "You need to rotate your crops. You shouldn't grow the same thing in an area year after year, it exhausts the soil."
He looked at her as if she had just handed him the moon. It was strange to develop familiarity with such a handsome man. "Thanks Katniss" he said cheerily. "We can change things around when we plant in the spring. We'll work it out this winter. You know, sit down and map the whole thing." She flushed under his praise. He was unlike any man she had ever worked with. He valued her opinions and readily accepted her advice. He wanted her contribution in the running of things. She could see his discomfort at times with her pitching in on the physical labor and there were some tasks that he always performed himself but he never doubted her intelligence.
"How did you know that?" he asked as they walked back to the house. "I mean about rotating the crops?" It took her a few moments to recall.
"From the share croppers I first worked with" she said. "I grew up on a plantation but I was never close to the actual farm work so I had a crash course when I first started but most of them had been doing it all of their lives so I didn't have to start from scratch. I never made enough for my own place so I always lived with another family or a widow."
He nodded. "At least you had someone to visit with" he said. "These last three years out here have almost driven me crazy."
"I don't know" she answered. "There were definitely times when I wished I had been alone." He could see how sad and cloudy her eyes had become and he wished he knew what memories had caused it. "How about you?" she asked. "Why did you come without a companion? It seems an awful big risk to take."
He became more solemn as well. "I didn't know anyone who wanted to come with me" he admitted. Katniss didn't challenge him but she didn't believe him either. Peeta was sweet and kind. He was also well mannered and his looks made a girl nearly swoon. It wasn't just because he was unpopular. There was more that he still wasn't telling her.
After dinner that night they spent some time going over the numbers the farm had produced over time. Katniss was impressed by the meticulous records and the progress he had made. Peeta pretended to be interested despite the fact that he had already reviewed them dozens of times. He was really watching her and enjoying her attention to detail and high level of enthusiasm. He reached over and covered her hand with his. She stopped speaking and looked up at him. He could see the apprehension and uncertainty in her eyes but she didn't pull away. He turned her hand over and interlaced their fingers. Her gaze returned to the page but he felt her squeeze his fingers in return.
"We are getting a lot closer to being caught up than I thought we would be" he said quietly. "I thought we might go into town tomorrow and stop in and see Delly." Her head shot straight up, her expression distrustful. He was baffled by her reaction. He thought she would enjoy an outing after so many days in a row in the fields. "It's just that I wanted to take you to the general store so that we can pick out some shoes and some material for a new dress."
She relaxed. Of course, she had forgotten that Delly's father owned the nearest store. He wasn't suggesting that they pay the other woman a social call, he wanted to help her with her meager wardrobe. It was tempting. She hadn't had a pair of new shoes since before the war. "Oh" she said. "Don't you think it is a little soon? I've been earning my keep around here but you've also been feeding me like a horse. I'm not sure if I've turned that kind of profit yet."
Her gaze had fallen and when she lifted it she could see the depth of concern in his expression. When he spoke his voice was surprisingly stern. "You're my wife Katniss and this is your home. You aren't here to work for wages. Everything that I have is yours. We can afford to buy you new things and we are going to." Instead of answering him she gathered her dishes and turned to begin washing them. He followed and she did her best not to bristle at the strength of his presence behind her.
"Can you accept that?" he asked. When she didn't reply he became frustrated. "You said vows with me but you choose to ignore them. Do you even think of me like that…as your husband?"
She turned and took a step back. She needed some distance, some room to breathe. Part of her wanted to lash out as his insistent behavior but as she looked at him she could see fear and hurt laced in with his agitation. "No" she answered honestly. "Not yet anyway. Peeta, I never thought that I would be married. This is all so unexpected and confusing. I don't know what I am supposed to feel for a husband."
Her heart was hammering in her ears. She wasn't good with words or talking about her feelings. For one thing she had no practice, no one had ever cared how she felt before. She had more to say but wasn't sure she had the courage to give voice to it. "I do…feel…for you though" she stuttered. That got his attention and she knew she would have to give him more, his eyes were so earnest and hopeful. "I like working with you" she managed. "I like that you are here with me and I've started thinking of you as a friend which is a big deal for me."
She took a couple of deep breaths. She needed to form words for the strange yearnings that had arisen within but wasn't sure what to call them. "I enjoy looking at you" she admitted and Peeta thought he might fall over. He wanted so badly for her to develop soft affections for him but he didn't imagine that she would admit to carnal attraction. Ladies never discussed such things but he began hardening and he couldn't wait for her to continue. "Well" she said completely flustered. "Peeta, you know you are very handsome and sometimes I just have these crazy thoughts and then I want you to kiss me."
She didn't have to say more. He stepped forward and his mouth captured hers. The need for distance she had felt just a few moments before vanished. He pulled her into his arms and she went willingly. His tongue swept her bottom lip and she moaned and opened herself further to him. Her fingers found his muscular back and she wished his skin were bare. He often worked in just his trousers and she knew of his sculpted chest and sometimes had the urge to press her breasts against it.
He tasted her thoroughly and reveled in the little noises she made into his mouth. He was smart enough not to move things further though. She had admitted to befriending him and to being attracted to him as well. They had come together under strange circumstances and if they were courting back home he would still be sitting in her family parlor and would never be allowed even these types of liberties.
When he finally pulled back he noticed that her cheeks were pink and her lips puffy. Her eyes were glazed with pleasure. He cupped her cheek and gave her one last tender kiss on the forehead. His arm was close to her face and as he withdrew she saw just how agitated his skin had become. "Oh Peeta" she said taking his hand and leading him over to the table. He had insisted on doing all of the baling himself, only allowing her to operate the machine and drive the wagon and his biceps and forearms had paid the price. The straw was course and prickly and his skin was marred by a million little scrapes and scratches.
He protested and insisted that he was fine but she sat him down and doctored his skin any way. He smiled at the way she fussed and fretted. It felt incredibly good to have someone take care of him. His mother had been very distant and rigid so this was the first time he had ever experienced a woman's care. The peroxide burned but he was more focused on how close she was as she applied it. He could feel her breath on his neck and the shell of his ear. Her hands ran across his body in such a relaxed fashion that he knew she was concentrated solely on the task of healing him.
When she thought that his arms were sufficiently cleansed and covered enough to prevent infection she went to prepare for bed. She was worried about the cuts. True they were small but even minor injuries could be cause for concern if not properly tended. She didn't know what she would do if he fell ill. He was so…important to her. She was completely lost in her thoughts and didn't realize that she had begun to remove her dress before he had left the room. The last few nights had been unseasonably warm, forcing her to reconsider her stance on sleeping fully clothed.
When she turned she found him frozen in his tracks, the water basin he had filled for her in hand. Peeta could not take his eyes off of her. Although her frame was slender he could see the outline of gentle curves through her thin white underthings and without knowing it she had stepped in front of the burning lantern. The light illuminated her in a nearly angelic way. His thoughts were far from holy as he saw her dark nipples and he knew that temperature could not be blamed for the peaks that they had formed.
After a moment she recovered her senses and dove under the sheets. She brought her hands to her flaming cheeks and did her best to contain the ache that she felt within. What was happening to her? She tried to take deep breaths but the cabin and bed were his and the heady masculine scent only intensified the throbbing. She had the most insane impulse to touch her breasts and in-between her legs. She squeezed her eyes shut and willed it to go away. She shouldn't do such a thing and Peeta would be back any second.
He wasn't though. As she suffered under newly found want he stayed in the barn much longer than usual. It wasn't until deep in the night that she heard the door open and the rustle of bedding on the floor. The knowledge that he was so close did nothing to quell the odd sensations that threatened to take her over.
Neither spoke of the incident the following day as they rode across the prairie. Katniss was in a good mood, the turmoil of the night before beginning to fade. She hadn't been on a pleasure outing in years and she couldn't help but enjoy it. She wore her bonnet out of social nicety. Her skin had a natural olive tone but had been darkened beyond repair by the sun as well. Her feet tapped excitedly on the floor boards. They wouldn't be bare much longer.
Peeta couldn't help but be in high spirits as well. He had seen the spark in her, the excitement she was doing very little to conceal. Perhaps today would be the first time since her arrival that he would truly be able to please her. The weather was sunny but still a bit chilly and he stole his arm behind her as they went. He was aware of the fact that she didn't particularly like his constant touching but he had a hunch that it was not true distaste. It was more of an unease due to a lack of familiarity. He was trying to get her accustom to the affection of another person again or maybe for the first time.
The town wasn't much. Just the church building, a small jail which was seldom occupied, a row of houses, and the general store. Peeta offered his arm and she took it with a small smile as he guided her into the store. Delly was helping another customer so she did not immediately see them as they entered. He was glad. He enjoyed watching Katniss wander about the little emporium looking at the simple items as if they were made of gold.
When Delly did spot them she gave them both an enthusiastic greeting. "Well, hello Mellarks" she boomed. "I expected that I would be seeing you soon. What can I help you with today? Some baby items perhaps?" she asked as she waggled her eyebrows. Katniss turned scarlet. "It's a little early for that" Peeta cut in. "And you know it Dells. Stop teasing her and sell us some shoes and material." Delly laughed but relented and headed into the back to find the things that they needed.
"Do you know what size you are?" she asked Katniss. She started to lower her head but then thought better of it. The damned war hadn't been her fault. "No" she admitted softly. "I don't remember." If the other woman noticed her mild behavior she didn't mention it. "No problem" she said. "Come back here and sit in my chair and we will try a few on." After a couple of minutes they were successful and Katniss clasped a brand new pair of shoes. She lifted them up to show Peeta and he nodded with a smile.
"She's going to need boots for the winter too" he said, aiming his words at the shopkeeper. "And material, enough to make a few dresses."
Katniss shot straight up. "Peeta no!" she nearly shouted.
He only laughed in return. "And some more of that scented soap" he added. "It smells fantastic on her." She thought she would die of embarrassment but it had the desired effect. She didn't give him another argument as Delly rang up the order, even when he made purchase a large sewing kit as well. She was too mortified that he would say something scandalous. He used her distraction to add several pieces of candy to their pile.
He took the goods out to the wagon while Katniss donned her shoes. It would be good to see her wearing them but he doubted that she would actually be comfortable in them immediately. They were just stepping out to head back to the wagon when Peeta heard a familiar voice. "Why if it ain't gimpy. How you been boy?" Marvel Sanderson, fantastic. He turned to see the man heading out from the house across the street. He would never say anything to Katniss but it was known pretty widely in these parts to harbor prostitution. He had really hoped not to run into Marvel today. First of all, the guy was a completely obnoxious loser. Secondly, he always pointed out Peeta's limp and he didn't want to be humiliated like that in front of his new wife.
"I heard you done got married" Marvel slurred. "An she's right there ain't she? Let me take a look. I heard she's awfully dark and pretty and looky there she don't disappoint. You got some good taste Gimpy. Was yer father a Injun girl?"
Marvel didn't get a chance to say more. Before he realized what was happening Peeta had him hanging in the air by his throat. There was fear in his eyes and he struggled for breath. "Apologize to my wife" Peeta commanded.
When he heard no response he slammed the man into the wall again. He could feel him struggle and started to sense life begin to drain from him. That is when he realized that he couldn't speak. His hands relaxed and set him back on the ground. He still held his shoulders firmly but he was no longer in danger of choking him to death. "Apologize" he repeated.
"I'm sorry" Marvel squeaked, his voice effected by the recent pressure on his vocal cords.
"Ma'am" Peeta added.
"I'm sorry Ma'am" Marvel amended and Peeta pushed him back out towards the street.
It was only then that he turned to see Katniss. Her eyes were wide with fear and he cursed himself that he had frightened her so badly. He didn't regret setting the man straight but he didn't want her to think him a man of violence because of it. He felt her arms tremble as he helped her into the wagon. They rode a mile or so in silence.
"I'm sorry about that" he finally said. "Marvel is a problem child of sorts around town. I've never gotten physical with him before but I wasn't going to allow him to speak to you that way."
She turned to him in surprise. "I'm not angry with you" she told him.
"I know" he replied. "But you were shaking a little bit back there and I don't want you to be afraid of me. I would never hurt you." She played with her fingers in her lap as she crafted her response.
"It was a bit startling" she admitted. "But I could see he was completely shocked by your actions so it was obvious that you have never done anything like that around town before. I was just surprised that you reacted so strongly. I don't like being called names but no one has ever stood up for me before."
Peeta took her hand. "I will never act like it is ok for people to treat you badly" he promised. "I don't go looking for a fight but when he went after you like that I lost my temper. I have only met him a few times but every time I do he makes fun of me. I usually don't care but I guess I was a little embarrassed because he called out my limp in front of you."
Katniss felt a rush of understanding. She didn't appreciate her weaknesses being put on display in front of him either. She had no idea that he was self-conscious regarding his leg. "Peeta" she said softly. "You are a very capable man and you walk well. I barely notice it but even if it became more pronounced I would never think less of you."
He looked relieved. "So you don't think it makes me seem weak?" he asked.
"Never" she answered. "Does it ever hurt you?" He felt apprehensive about telling her the truth.
He glanced in her direction and could see her genuine concern. "Yes" he said "Sometimes it aches."
She nodded. "I can help you if you want" she offered. "My father had a leg that he struggled with at times and my mother used to massage it often and I watched her so I know how to do it." He couldn't believe it. Not only was she accepting of his injury but she was willing to actually touch it if she thought it would ease his pain. That knowledge along with the fact that she had shared yet another detail about her family was worth dozens of shoes. He smiled as he removed the small candy bag and his heart beat faster and swelled with an unfamiliar emotion as he watched her eagerly reach for the sweets. His life was infinitely more worth living when he was making someone else happy.