Author's Note: So sorry about the wait! I absolutely love hearing all that you have to say and it's really spurred me on! I was kinda running low on ideas there for a while but once I really sat down and started writing, I managed to get this chapter out. I have some ideas about how to move along, but I love hearing from all of you! Let me know what you think! Enjoy!
Warnings: Language, maybe.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The idea was brought to me by RedGoddessEclipse and asked me to write it for her. :3
Word Count: 5,429
Sasuke got what he wanted when he got to the battlefield: his body did all the thinking for him. Right away they asked him to assist on the lines and he was more than happy to do just that. He had his sword in his left hand as he spun around, knocking away kunai and shuriken flying his way and slicing open any that dared to get too close. In his right was a chakra rod. His moves were swift, efficient and with deadly accuracy. His body knew how to fight, how to defend itself, and when he sensed that there wasn't much threat on this battlefield, Sasuke left his body to it's own devices, but made sure to be aware enough to clock back in should the need arise.
It wasn't until the enemy had full on retreated when Sasuke finally stopped, he was weighed down by his heavy poncho sopping wet with sweat, did he realize that he had been battling for hours. He's effectively clocked out of the battle for hours, lost to his own emptiness.
He didn't miss the looks sent his way as he headed for the camp on the battle line to learn of his next orders. Minato caught him before he entered and scanned his body with his eyes, making note of all the small cuts and tares in his clothes and skin. He opens his mouth, probably about to insist that he go and visit a medical shinobi, but then appeared to think better of it and just quietly followed after the stoic Uchiha into the camp.
Sasuke just stops a few feet in, leaning against some of the crates filled with supplies, and crossing his arms over his chest. He looks over at Minato, not wanting to be obviously out of his element - which he is - but has to ask. "What are we doing now?"
"Waiting for orders," Minato says simply, then smiles. "Are you hungry?"
Sasuke stares at him for a moment, wondering if this was a ploy of some kind. It has been a while since he last ate and he is feeling fatigued, especially after the amount of movement he did today. But he wasn't about to admit that he needed help. If it came down to it, he would go out into the forest and hunt for his own food when he's alone, but if they are just going to leave again soon, he might as well eat while he's in the base.
"Maybe a bit..." Sasuke says slowly.
"Oh good," Minato says, kindly. "I was worried that you weren't eating. Come, let's go eat while we've got the time." He waves his hand for Sasuke to follow. The raven haired man paused for just a moment before bowing his head a bit and following the tall blond. Maybe a part of his aggravation stems from his hunger? He hadn't eaten in a while, maybe his blood sugar is low?
Or, he's stuck being a horribly irritable person for the rest of his life. There's that too.
And if that ends up being the case, nothing will be able to help his shitty attitude and Sasuke's going to be alone and miserable for the rest of his life. Wonderful. If that didn't tank his already bad mood, nothing could.
Minato must have been at this forward camp before - that or they are all structured similarly, but that wasn't a smart option so he'll go with the former - because he easily leads Sasuke over to where they were cooking some healthy, easy to make, broth, that will boost their chakra regrowth and energy. It's not the best stuff but it was more than Sasuke has had in a while and wolfed it down faster than he thought he would.
Sasuke sets the bowl of broth down next to himself on the stump, resting his hands against the wood on either side of him, and stares into the fire with his black right eye. The hot broth settled nicely in his belly, lightening his mood after what feels like forever being in his horrible pit.
Minato stands up, reaching down to take Sasuke's bowl too before walking over to the chunnin that was in charge of cooking the food. Sasuke follows him with his eye before letting it sip closed and he lets his head hang back. It's late evening. There are people shuffling around him, talking about the battle, or missions they just returned from, family back home. All things Sasuke didn't care to really listen to. All things Sasuke didn't care to really think about either.
Sasuke didn't want to hear about siblings and parents and spouses or anything like that. He didn't want to hear about getting fucked over on the last mission someone was on. He didn't want to hear that they time back with their loved ones were awesome and ended too soon, or that they were "sad to go but knew that they were needed here." Sasuke didn't care for any of that.
For a moment, their voices disappear into the back of Sasuke's mind and he finally notices how tired he is. His mind is still strong and alert, but his body is tired from the battle today. Not something a few hours rest couldn't take care of. Even meditation would be fine. Just something to rest his body before the next time they have to head out.
Sasuke opens his eyes as Minato walks back over to him. "We'll be on standby for now," he says, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning on one hip, head tilted to the side. "I think we should both get some rest while we can, these sort of times are few and far between and rarely do they last long. But I do think that you should remain close. We may only have a few minutes notice before something happens."
Sasuke stares at him blandly. "No one can sneak up on me," he says drolly. Whether that's true or not is circumstantial. Sasuke doesn't care to debate one way or the other and thankfully it appears that neither does Minato, for he shrugs in response to that.
"Fine," he says with a placating lilt to his voice. "But I would still feel better keeping you close. Please try and stay in camp tonight. I know it's not your thing, but..."
Sasuke rolls his eyes. "Oh shut up. I'll stay close." Minato smiles.
"Thank you."
There is an awkward moment where they are just staring at each other before Sasuke, perpetually annoyed since perhaps the day he was born, stands up and looks around for a moment before picking a direction and walking. Minato isn't far behind.
"Where are you going, Sasuke?"
"Nowhere," Sasuke mutters.
"You literally just promised me, Sasuke," Minato says, easily able to keep pace with the blue haired boy. He sounded tired, like dealing with Sasuke was draining his energy from him.
In some ways, it pleased Sasuke to know that he was giving Naruto's dad through a similar hell that he went through - moreso dealing with someone who felt like they sucked the life out of Sasuke just by being in the general vicinity as him - but at the same time, he felt bad. The Fourth Hokage never did him wrong. Nothing. Other than being part of the reason that Naruto was brought into the world, but Sasuke had made peace with that long ago. Naruto was there to stay.
Or so he thought.
Minato is trying to help Sasuke. A hell of a lot harder than Sasuke would have tried to help someone else. He's been putting up with a lot of shit because of Sasuke and still has to stay with him. The least that Sasuke could do is try and not make it such a chore. The Fourth hasn't done anything suspicious or alarming since Sasuke met him and has gotten nothing from their exchanges other than attitude and annoyed looks from his comrades that Sasuke happened to piss off in passing. Still, he hasn't complained.
In fact, throughout this entire thing, he's tried hard to respect Sasuke's wishes, whatever they may be. Even though it's only been a few days, it must have been tiring for him. Sasuke wants to be nicer to the Fourth, he owes the blond that much, but in some ways, if he starts to accept this place, these people, then he's admitting that everything else is gone. His home, his family, those annoying people that never gave up on him. They, along with their pasts, presents, and futures, would all go with them.
And Sasuke never got the chance to tell them he was sorry.
Sasuke stops suddenly. Minato barely notices and nearly bumped into the back of Sasuke. He tilts his head curiously and steps around the blue haired young man and stare down at him.
"Sasuke?" Minato asks, blinking. "Are you okay?"
Sasuke swallows, pushing away his thoughts. "Yes," he says, but it lacks something Sasuke doesn't want to think about. "I'm fine. I'll stay in the camp. I'm just going to be sleeping up in one of the trees."
Minato looks up at the trees as if he forgot they were there. When he looks back down at Sasuke, he looks doubtful. "Are you sure? There are plenty of tents. You can used one..."
Sasuke swallows again, feeling like something was stuck in his throat. He couldn't think of a way to express the reason he didn't want to sleep in this place. Something inside of him felt tight and heavy and all Sasuke could say was, "I want to be alone."
It's at that moment that Minato's eyes lit up in understanding, seeing the shift in Sasuke. Something was upsetting him and he was just trying to get away from Minato.
The blond jounin nods slowly. "Alright..." he says slowly. "If you need anything, just let me know, alright? I won't be far." He hesitates a moment, debating if he should take back his words and stay - maybe even prod at Sasuke to find out what changed - but decided against it and went to walk past Sasuke only to pause one last time. He glances toward Sasuke but the boy's single black eye was locked on the tree in front of him, trying to ignore the blond. Sasuke's glad that Minato was on his left, not able to see the look in Sasuke's eye.
He doesn't know what the look is, but he doesn't want the older man to see it.
"I..." Minato hesitates. "I'll see you in a bit, Sasuke." With that, Minato left. And Sasuke felt horrible.
Sasuke pressed against the top of the tree, overlooking the camp and could barely breath. The truth of his pain hitting him as hard as Kaguya to his gut. In his heart, all this time, once Sasuke learned the truth about his family and his home, Sasuke wanted to return to change things, to make them better. For himself, and for everyone. But most of all, he wanted to see those annoying people again and tell them, truthfully, that he was sorry.
Sorry that he couldn't understand their love. That he couldn't return it. That he turned his back on them when all they ever wanted was to help him, be with him, and protect him. That he thought that they were expendable, worthless and a waste of his time.
Sorry that he couldn't see through his own hate and rage. That he wasn't able to see the world for what it truly was until it was all too late. No one would ever love and care for him like Itachi and the rest of them. His classmates, his teammates, his friends. Life could have been different - better! - had Sasuke been stronger than the curse of hatred. If Sasuke's stupid dedication to a father that tolerated him, a mother that babied him and clansmen he barely knew wasn't stronger than his deep love for Itachi, maybe he'd have been able to see that he was believing in the wrong people all along.
Konoha, Orochimaru, and even Obito. All people he chose over those that mattered.
He didn't get the chance to tell them that he was sorry. That while he doesn't claim to be innocent now, or in the future, he does want them to understand that he saw them for what they really were, even if they never forgave him. At least they knew.
But now Sasuke will never have a chance to tell them. He'll never be able to apologize. And now he must live with that forever.
Two months.
Sasuke bounced around the front lines with Minato for about a month before he met Kakashi Hatake, Obito Uchiha and Rin Nohara. Minato's team. Minato was so proud to introduce them to Sasuke and watched closely as Sasuke stared down at Kakashi, for once being the taller of the two. But neither said anything to one another. Kakashi didn't appear to know Sasuke - which Sasuke already knew that - and Sasuke didn't let on his relationship with his some-day sensei. Minato appeared slightly disappointed for not being able to discover whatever he was looking for in the two but thankfully didn't let it keep him down for long.
Sasuke hung around as they trained. Sasuke was surprised to see how different his sensei was as a child. Kakashi Hatake was a little asshole. Not that Sasuke was any better, but when Kakashi said that Sasuke reminded him of himself, he wasn't kidding. Many of their mannerisms were similar. No wonder Minato wasn't too overly perturbed when dealing with Sasuke, because he dealt with the same things when dealing with Kakashi! This guy was a saint!
Other than meeting Minato's team, little has changed between them. Sasuke's realization left him depressed most of the time, that he effortlessly hid behind a nasty attitude, hoping the acutely attentive future Fourth wouldn't be able to notice. If he had noticed something wrong, Minato never brought attention to it, which gave Sasuke the illusion that he didn't lose control of all aspects of his life.
Just most of them.
Sasuke didn't say anything to Kakashi, ignored Obito and grunted at Rin whenever she tried to talk to him. Minato would just smile and shrug when his students looked at him after trying to talk to Sasuke. Thankfully Kakashi was good at hiding his interest in Sasuke, and didn't outright try to interact with him, which suited his future student just fine while Obito looked a little put off by one of his supposed clansmen just blatantly ignoring him, but the little bastard was lucky Sasuke didn't just punt him off the planet for what he would come to do.
But it was two months after Sasuke realized that he would never be able to apologize to his one-time friends, team and village, that he was finally allowed to go somewhere on his own. It was a situation that they needed Minato for, but Minato requested if Sasuke could go in his stead. His team was currently on a mission that he wanted to ensure they saw to the end. Someone higher up approved and Sasuke was sent instead.
It was the enemies main supply route that went over some bridge Sasuke didn't care to learn the name of. In fact, they must have never repaired it after Minato originally destroyed it, because Sasuke hadn't heard of it in his time. He wasn't really doing much to help Minato on his mission, just tagging along, and was relieved to finally have a quick reprieve from his babysitter and headed to the location specified. There were dozens of shinobi present, trying to formulate sneak attacks to crippled this bridge and cut off enemy supplies. And there was something in the explanation about Kusa? Sasuke didn't know. And didn't really care.
They did tons of different things, trying to get close but Iwa and Kumo were unwilling to just sit around and do nothing and was able to rebuff them every single time. Even straight on jutus were repelled. No one had anything strong enough.
"Shit," the jounin in charge grunts as the Leaf ninja scrabble back to the safety of the trenches after another failed attempt to destroy the bridge. "Does anyone have any ideas?" He looks around at the tired and worn faces of the shinobi around him. No one spoke up. He looks over at Sasuke and sighs. "This is why we wanted Minato. No offence, but the barrier they've erected around bridge is too powerful for normal ninjutsu to break through."
Sasuke glances over at the bridge, Sharingan revealing the powerful barrier, shimmering with chakra. "Hm."
The jounin looks desperate. "Do you know anything about seals?"
Sasuke glances over at him with his single eye. "No," he says simply. "Not particularly."
The jounin's shoulders slump a bit in exhaustion. "Perfect," he mutters. "Then, perhaps you have any ideas? We've been at this for days and all we are succeeding in doing is losing more and more men. We told headquarters our issue and they sent you. There must be something that you can do."
Sasuke glances back over at the barrier. "How important is it that we destroy this bridge? Does it really matter?"
The jounin looks annoyed, not liking that Sasuke didn't understand the importance of stopping the enemies main supply route. Sasuke didn't want to explain that he wasn't stupid enough not to understand that in any situation if someone doesn't have supplies they will lose. He just didn't understand if this one supply route was really so important.
"It's important," the jounin says drolly, rubbing some sweat and dirt from his eyes. "Important enough that if we don't find a way to destroy this bridge soon, we'll probably lose this war."
Sasuke doubted this one bridge, no matter how large and heavily fortified, could be so important but figured that was why he was out here obeying orders rather than giving them. Sasuke pulls his eye from the bridge to look over at the jounin. "Perhaps... I may be able to destroy the barrier," he says hesitantly, not sure about making promises he can't keep. It's just a bridge, right? He can destroy a bridge easy enough, it's this barrier he's not sure. It's constructed using seals, something he's not too experienced in.
The jounin's eyes widen. "Seriously? I will overlook the fact that you have been here watching us fail for hours if you can just take down the barrier. What did you have in mind?"
Sasuke stares at the flowing bubble of chakra before standing up. "I'm going to absorb the chakra in the barrier. Be ready to destroy it when the barrier is finally down."
"Wait," the jounin commander says, glancing over at the barrier, "how are you going to do that?"
"Just worry about your role and I'll take care of mine," Sasuke says, making a run toward the barrier, dodging and blocking kunai and shuriken thrown his way. He had to backtrack a bit to avoid a bomb tag before opening his other eye and summoning Susanoo's ribs to offer him a bit more protection. The appearance of the strange purple bones around Sasuke gave allies and enemies alike a moment of pause, allowing Sasuke to get close enough to the barrier to reach out and touch it. It shocked him at first, making Susanoo's ribs tighten around him in reflex when he pulled back.
Shaking the static away, Sasuke reaches out again, opening his Rinnegan eye and focusing on the chakra. The seal tries to repel him again but he holds strong, using the Rinnegan to begin absorbing the chakra from the barrier, ignoring the crackling of the seal and creaking of Susanoo's ribs flexing around him.
The enemy quickly realizes what he's doing and tries a different approach, trying to circle around the barrier to get to him, but the Leaf ninja are already forming a protective perimeter around him as he absorbs the seal. As Sasuke was pulling in the chakra, he had to wonder if this seal was infinitely powered. If that was the case then this was a losing battle. He could hear the Iwa and Kumo shinobi battling against the Leaf, trying to get to Sasuke.
He forces the sounds away, trying to focus. He has to get the barrier down, right? If he can do this, then maybe he won't need to be watched twenty-four-seven anymore. While it's been a real hoot and all, Sasuke is more of small groups or alone kind of guy. An annoying blond and his three brats weren't all that interesting to Sasuke.
Maybe it would have been smarter if Minato had gone on this mission and the brats were left to their own devices. Kakashi was a jounin already, for Kami's sake! It should at least give him the ability to lead a small group. What could go wrong? Why was this mission so important that Minato wanted to stay when he already admitted before Sasuke left that Kakashi probably would have been able to handle leading their mission without Minato there to supervise. Sasuke didn't understand and just didn't have the time to worry about it now.
Sasuke was absorbing the chakra in the seal quickly, but not quick enough. The Leaf ninja around him were tiring quickly, they had been out here for so long, they don't count as a true standing force. The longer this takes, the more casualties pile on. Sasuke's Mangekyo spins in his eye, pulling the rest of Susanoo's body through, his bones, skin, armor wrapping around him until he's a floating purple god, roaring so loud everyone nearby had to cover their ears for a moment. Susanoo lifts his arms and brings them down on the barrier with tremendous strength.
The first hit makes the barrier bow inward before snapping back into it's original form. The second one sends a latticework of cracks through it as Sasuke is not only damaging it making it use it's chakra to repair itself, but also sucking out the chakra into his hand. The third hit makes the cracks larger and span the entire bubble. Sasuke can hear people yelling behind him. He ignores them and pushes the chakra he's absorbing into Susanoo, whom roars again, rears back and brings both fists down on the top of the barrier, shattering it into thousands of pieces that fly like shrapnel through the air. Ninja from all three sides dive out of the way trying to avoid being skewered.
Sasuke took a piece to the cheek, slicing it open easily. But as the chakra fades from the shards, they disappear into thin air. The tips of Sasuke's fingertips on his left hand are singed a bit and tingling from having lightning coursing through them. Luckily his element is lightning and he has a natural affinity for it, and then add on top of that, with his new Rinnegan, it's even more powerful.
Sasuke shakes his hand around a bit, trying to bring feeling back into it before glancing over at the bodies laying around, trying to get back on their feet in their shock. Sasuke looks over at the bridge Susanoo rears back again, bringing a fist down onto the wood panels. They crack and yield but there is something tougher underneath that a single hit wouldn't destroy. Susanoo pulls back again and with both fists this time, smashes the wood and whatever was beneath it. The bridge groans in pain.
The blue haired boy closes his Rinnegan eye and sends Susanoo away, pulling out his sword, he turns toward the enemy shinobi nearby, clambering to their feet, intermixed with the Leaf, and began to walk amongst them, tapping them with his sword and paralyzing them. There was just something despicable about just killing them when they were already writhing on the floor in pain that Sasuke just didn't have in him.
For the next few hours, they take lots of prisoners, destroy the bridge and Sasuke is told that he can return to his original post with the thanks of all the shinobi present. So maybe he's not making enemies out of everyone. That's a start, right?
It took a few hours, but by nightfall, Sasuke had found his way to Minato and his team, surprised by how off course from their mission they were. When he got there, Rin was standing next to Minato, looking up at him with thin brows pulled together tightly and Kakashi and Obito were sitting before Minato, heads bowed, legs tucked beneath them and hands on their thighs. Minato stood over them with his hands settled on trim hips and his lips curved down in a frown.
"That was exceedingly foolish of both of you," Minato was saying, not pausing in his chastisement when Sasuke arrived. "Not only did you put your own lives in danger, but Rin's as well. I told you I was only going to be gone for an hour and in that time, Rin was kidnapped, you two were attacked, Kakashi lost an eye, and then you hunted down Rin's kidnappers without once thinking about notifying me about your exploits?" Minato asks calmly, with a flat undertone that makes both boys bow their heads more.
Sasuke notices the wrapping around Kakashi's head, eye widening slightly in surprise. So this is when he lost his eye?
"Not only that," Minato continues, "but then you confronted Rin's kidnappers, compromised the structure of the cave you were all trapped and nearly got yourselves killed. Is there any part I'm missing?"
Obito looks up at Minato, hesitantly, black eyes wide. "Um, Rin is safe!" He smiles boyishly happy about that. In the short time Sasuke has known younger Obito, it's painfully obvious that he's in love with his female teammate. Much of this is later repeated in Sasuke's team that's scary. He almost thinks that they are copying his team, but, they came first!
"Obito..." Rin says softly, glancing down at him. "Sensei... it's true, they did save me."
"Truthfully," Kakashi says plainly, "Sensei saved all of us. We just woke Rin up and killed those two Iwa ninja. If sensei hadn't been there..." He glances over at a shrinking Obito. His already pale face looses what little color it had and Sasuke had to wonder what happened.
"Never mind all of that," Minato says, sighing. He runs a hand through wild blond hair. "What matters is that all three of you are safe. Next time I hope we can use better judgment. Yes?"
All three of the students nod eagerly, anything to get them out of being in trouble. "Yes, sensei!"
"Good," Minato sighs, rubbing the back of his head for a moment before turning to Sasuke and smiling tiredly. "Hello, Sasuke. How was your mission? Everything work out alright?"
Sasuke nods. "Yep. Everything... good here?" Sasuke asks curiously.
Minato nods as well. "Yes. We best head back to the main camp and let them know that both of our missions were a success. Come, Obito, Rin, Kakashi." Kakashi and Obito both jump to their feet and nod. Kakashi reaches up and rubs the side of his head, as if the blood is rushed to his head. Sasuke tilts his head to the side in confusion.
When does Kakashi get the Sharingan? It was Obito's right? They thought Obito died somehow...
"Let's head back now," Minato says, then turns completely to Sasuke. "Are you coming too, Sasuke... eh? What's wrong?"
Sasuke turns away and starts racing toward the camp, unable to hide the disturbed look on his face.
That night, Sasuke slept up in one of the trees overlooking the camp. "Sleep" being a very relative term. His thoughts kept him awake. All the way back to the camp, Minato kept probing him, trying to get Sasuke to tell him what had happened, but Sasuke didn't open his mouth once, not even to tell the blond that he was being annoying, which became a given in almost every conversation the two had now.
Obito was suppose to die today. Or, "die", since he would still be living. Madara was suppose to find him and then turn into the man that would one day destroy the world. Or try to, at least. Sasuke is aware that this might not be his reality, but how could it be any different? Sasuke being here meant that he was able to go and destroy that bridge, allowing Minato to stay with his team and ultimately save Obito from being separated from the rest of them.
But Kakashi lost his eye and now wouldn't have a Sharingan to put in it's place. Now, any chance of him becoming the Copy Cat Ninja is gone. He will now never be Kakashi of the Sharingan. These were just simple facts, and yet for some reason, it left Sasuke with a horrible pit in his gut. Somehow, this time he wanted to do right by his sensei, but taking away one of the most powerful tools the gray haired man had in the future that probably saved his life on multiple occasions was not how he planned on doing that.
In fact, without the Sharingan, Kakashi may never make it to when Sakura, Naruto and little him are born. He probably won't be the legendary shinobi he was in Sasuke's time.
He may be unable to be a shinobi of high caliber without another eye. That's a major handicap and while he was able to go through daily life without his eye on that side, he always had the option to use it. Rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.
And he no longer has it. His own eye, or Obito's.
Sasuke doesn't want Obito to die, not really. He ended up helping them in the end and in a twisted way, Sasuke can understand wanting to make the world a better place, but with Obito alive now, Sasuke may never be able to express to Kakashi what he meant to him as a teacher. Well, he wouldn't be able to, that would be weird, but he would be able to beat into younger him to appreciate all those around him that selflessly want only to help him.
But that may never be possible now. Sure, Obito is alive and that's all good for him, Sasuke supposes, but now he has no idea what Madara will do without an Uchiha to instill his own hatred into what will happen with The Moon-Eye plan? How is Sasuke going to fix this now? How the hell is he going to make this up to all his friends if they all fucking die before he can even figure out who the enemy is?
Just because Obito "The Dumbass" Uchiha practically told everyone "I'm the bad guy, come and get me!" and made a huge ass skeptical about it, doesn't mean the next person will. What the actual hell is Sasuke going to do now?
Sasuke buries his head into his hands.
True to practically all his past actions, Sasuke only serves to somehow ruin other's lives.
"I fucked up," Sasuke says to himself, and the darkness around him. "I fucked up bad."