Chapter 21 [Physicians' Chamber—Four Days Later]
Gaius brooded at his work table. He could see that the bilberry tincture would be ready shortly. Miraculously, no epidemics had appeared in town or the countryside. Conversations with the castellans and the guests prior to their departure cheered his spirits. Meleagant's threat lay in the future but nothing could be done about it at that point. Gawain and Merlin improved health wise.
Merlin….
The elderly man tapped his fingers on the chipped wooden surface. Over the previous half year, he'd seen signs of something being amiss. He attributed Merlin's service during the failed engagement to covering Arthur's back. He didn't see anything wrong with Merlin saving Mithian's life or her returning the favor at Merlin's trial. No it didn't seem anything was amiss. That is until he watched them at Ealdor and then during this latest visit.
The kiss in the Grand Hall ate at him.
She's seducing him. She wants him for herself! He frowned. Merlin can't be with her. Even if they do love each other, it can't be! It….
At that moment, Merlin entered into the chamber slowly. He favored the injured side still noticeably. Still thanks to Freya's and Mithian's care to that point, he'd progressed to the point where he could do some chores if he took it easy. He pushed the door until it was just ajar. "What are you working on, Gaius?"
"A bilberry tincture for Sir Thomas. It seems his eye sight needs a boost." Gaius watched his former charge for a few heartbeats. "You should get more rest, Merlin. Those ribs aren't ready for the stress."
"Can't. Arthur's finally letting me do some regular stuff again," Merlin declined. "Besides I can use my own bed again. The Princess was good enough to let me rest in her chamber in between a few light chores." He averted his eyes toward the floor.
The Eyebrow raised on the elderly face parting more than a few wrinkles in its wake. He knew when the younger man was telling a lie or half-truth at best. "Merlin, we need to talk."
"Gaius, really. I have to get going. There's…." Merlin stiffened. Dread washed over him. Really? Do I need this?
"Merlin." Gaius glared into his eyes. He pointed toward the chair across the table. "Sit."
"Gaius, don't. I'm hurting. I don't need a lecture," Merlin told him.
"Well I think you do. What's going on between Princess Mithian and you? You seem to be getting close," Gaius inquired.
Merlin felt almost like he had in that first year when he'd done something to incite Uther. He quivered almost like a kitten. "Gaius, she likes my service. It's like with Arthur…or used to be that way….we're friends even if we know our boundaries."
"Do you?" Gaius supposed. "Merlin, don't lie to me."
"Gaius, she's a Princess. I mean really? So we're friends? Kind of goes with saving each other's lives. You don't have a problem with me trying to be friendly with Arthur even if he's being a prat. Same with the knights or Gwen," Merlin argued.
"Friends don't kiss each other romantically. What if Arthur saw you? What if the other rulers saw that? They could tell Arthur. He'd have you executed," Gaius admonished.
"Gaius, it's none of their business! As for Arthur, the Prat can be with Gwen. Still I can't be friends with Princess Mithian? I can't serve her? Gaius, I've proven myself in all regards! I'm still willing to serve for now," Merlin countered.
"For now….Merlin, yes, you have fulfilled the Capability Laws for Camelot and Nemeth. Still you think Arthur will care? He's the King. You're a servant and servus. He's already demonstrated a willful double standard where you're concerned. He wants the old standard. It's your duty to comply. You have no choice!" Gaius lectured.
"I heard he promised to help us in front of everyone! He promised!" Merlin bellowed. In an uncharacteristic move, he slapped his hand on the table. The past decade boiled up inside of him. Frustration shook him. His eyes glowed.
The tincture shattered spilling bilberry solution everywhere.
Bookshelves shook.
Glass apparatus exploded.
Gaius flew backward. Fortunately the cot cushioned his impact.
Merlin shook. His teeth clattered. Tears clouded his vision. "I am so close, Gaius! Please! I can take care of Mother! I can still serve and protect Arthur! I can work with magic! Arthur needs to understand!"
"He won't. Merlin, think about your destiny. This can't work! Look at you. I'll go to Arthur and…." Gaius threatened. He propped himself back into a sitting position.
Anger flooded through Merlin's consciousness. Like a dark wave, it chilled and emboldened him. He narrowed his eyes. "No you won't!" He snorted.
Gaius recoiled. "Merlin, get a hold of yourself."
Merlin? What is it? What's wrong? Mithian tried to call.
Merlin shook his head. His mind shut everything else out. He looked about the area. "Thoir seachad a h-uile càil!" His eyes glinted. His hands extended. More energies flowed from him.
About the chamber, everything came back together. Glass shards retraced their paths. They came back together; their cracks resealed. The bilberry flowed back into the container. The apparatus resumed working as if nothing had happened. Gaius even stammered forward as if a puppet on a string. The spell put him firmly (perhaps a bit too firmly) into the now-rebuilt chair.
"Merlin, what have you done?" Gaius gasped. Panic and Fear lit in his eyes. "Have you lost your mind?"
"No….I just want to do my duty and be happy! I just cleaned up the mess." Merlin insisted. With the back of his hand, he swiped away his tears. He grabbed his side.
Morgana stuck her head in the door. "What's going on? I heard shouting. The entire wing of the castle just shook…and…." She stopped stock still.
"WHAT?" Merlin snapped. His eyes glowed again.
"Your Highness, it's…." Gaius started to make excuse until he realized it would do no good.
She stared at Merlin. Somehow she managed to shut the chamber door. Still his current state of mind stabbed chills through her.
She saw herself as she'd been. She could feel Betrayal's dark sting yet again after the failed poisoning. She could see Gaius' self-serving appearance playing both sides against the middle. She realized how much it had hurt her. She saw the implications. She looked at her hands. Then her eyes returned to Merlin.
He was sliding down that same slope….He was snapping under the games and half-truths. Denial of Self and Deceit's games finally had pushed him too far. He could lie about his magic. He could lie about his parentage. He'd somehow skirted Despair's doom following Freya's death years earlier even if he'd been shut in for months afterwards. Still it was too much.
She shook her head. "Merlin."
"Morgana, I don't want to hear it! I…I know about being patient. I get it. I…." Merlin sobbed.
"Merlin, please! I am not going to do that! You should know me better than that!" she insisted. "Especially when you're right."
"Your Highness, don't!" Gaius interrupted.
"You've said quite enough, Gaius. Merlin is right. He doesn't deserve this abuse." Morgana exhaled deeply. "Merlin, calm down. It's all right." She shook her head. "I wish I still had my magic. I'd teleport him out of here right now."
"Perhaps we should be grateful for such favors," Gaius observed. "You certainly exceeded any reasonable bounds with it."
She stiffened. As Merlin felt, Anger's chill froze her emotions. Her eyes narrowed. "You talk of reason? This is madness!" She bowed her head. I don't know if you can hear me but we need help. Merlin lingers on the edge. I don't want him to fall like I did. Arthur tortures him. A tear creased her cheek.
I always hear you, Child. Thank you for your compassion. Yes a solution is in order. Step away from Emrys, the goddess told her.
Merlin disappeared in a flash of light.
"What? Morgana, what did you do? I thought you didn't have magic any longer," Gaius demanded. He stiffened. "What have you done with Merlin?"
"What did I…?" She stared at him. Then she laughed. Loudly.
He stared strangely at her. "I fail to see the humor in this. Now you will answer me."
"I will…what?" She coughed. "I am a Queen now, Gaius. Not the naïve ward or girl you tried to poison. Don't you DARE talk to me like that! As you were just telling Merlin, KNOW YOUR PLACE!" She bit back her bile. A couple of deep breaths composed her once more. "Now, as for what happened. I did nothing. No actually, I said a prayer for Merlin. His disappearance was the triple goddess' work directly."
He blinked. "She wouldn't!" Then he shivered. "Now what?"
Morgana turned toward the breeze's source. There her eyes alighted on Nimue. "Now you did it." She cleared her throat.
"I didn't do….," he started to protest.
Nimue snorted. "How typical of you, Gaius. Queen Morgana is right on both matters. The goddess did indeed intervene. She sent Merlin away for his own good. He will be returned when matters settle back down." She glanced toward Morgana. "You didn't do anything other than your duty, Morgana. In case Arthur sends his knights, you shouldn't be here."
"Gaius needs to understand," Morgana insisted.
"And why do you think I'm here? It certainly isn't for the pleasure of his company," Nimue informed her allowing a bit of Sarcasm's barb into her words. "Go on. I certainly know him well enough."
Morgana nodded. Pity moved her for a heartbeat. Still she knew he definitely had it coming. "Thank you." She nodded. "Blessings, Sister."
"And to you, Morgana." Nimue returned the gesture with one of her own.
Morgana slipped quickly out the door and almost slammed it behind herself. She wasted no time walking down that passage and out of that wing of the castle altogether.
Some things were indeed their own best reward….
Nimue looked about the chamber. She could see that little had changed in the time since Uther's reign. She admired the books' spines. She regarded the apparatus on the table. "I see you still have everything. It is cleaner though. It helps when you have your underling. Does it not?" She wiped her finger across the table and held it right in front of his face. "I see Merlin does his bidding well. Doesn't he?"
Gaius watched her carefully. His mind tried to figure out her agenda and endgame. "What is this about, Nimue? Surely you should know better than to come back here. Arthur will burn you at the stake if he catches you."
She sniffed. "I am here on the goddess' business, Gaius. That is if you remembered such things." She coughed. "You lecture Merlin about loyalty and yet…yet…you are the biggest traitor of them all. Do not think your past crimes have been forgotten. It is well remembered how you chose to cower behind Uther Pendragon's standard. It is remembered how you stood by as our fellow priests and priestesses were rounded up, drowned and burned screaming in village squares across this isle!"
"I had to survive. I helped get some out when I could," he insisted. "Certainly you should understand!"
"I understand that the triple goddess has my allegiance. So you should have as well! You turned Morgana to the darkness. You nearly did the same to Merlin." Nimue shook her head. "This has nearly run its course." She regarded the chamber. "Soon this will be behind him."
"Behind…?" He growled, "Whatever you have in mind, I won't…." Before he could do anything else, he felt something restraining him.
Her eyes glowed. "BE STILL! You've done quite enough." She stalked over to him. "As tempting as it would be to force Merlin's transition, such things have to work in their own time. You will not tell anyone else of this conversation. He will return once he is calmed down. Everything will proceed as it always does. Still Arthur will not hold Merlin back. The young man it seems has an important calling."
"What of his destiny? What about Arthur? Merlin has to protect…him," he reminded her.
"Merlin can do so in many ways. You benefit from this way. There are others which benefit everyone. Let that be so." She disappeared in a puff of mist.
Important calling? What is going on? Gaius looked toward the door. He wanted to go and tell Arthur despite her warning. Still something held him in place.
It seemed that Destiny had rendered a judgment of its own…..