K.. This idea came last night, and all the jokes were in my head lat night, so the humor is going to stink. Thats what happens when all your best ideas come during the shower you take right before you go to bed. As you know, I will be re-writing contact recon, and I was looking through NCIS episodes for ideas when I watched an episode of White Collar. My first thought was "That sounds like something Tony would do" followed by "Nah. Artemis." For fans of White Collar, there are mucho AF references. The dude named Fowler has an awesome pen with the AF symbol, the right color shape and everything on the end. I am jealous. Btw, I received And Another Thing and Plugged for Christmas, and about busted a gut laughing. Anyway, this is directly based on a few NCIS episodes, and the White Collar episode "Power Play" in the beginning. After that, its all me. If it is loved, I will have it spread over into two more rules as a three shot. If not, well, this is it.

Rule 23

"..Someone walks into a bar" jokes are never funny, unless you are there to see it.

"Are you sure this information is even accurate? I mean, She doesn't even know who I am, much less what Koboi has done."

"Just because you are on a long-term undercover mission doesn't mean you're oblivious."

"I beg to differ. Remember Hong Kong?"

"That's different. I was not oblivious, I was asleep. AND it was your fault. You forgot the coffee. What moron forgets the coffee?"

"I wasn't in charge of supplies. That would be your boss, Tinkerbelle-ah Trouble Kelp."

"Whatever. Anyway, like I said, she has no idea who you are, but she is a reliable agent who just got a crappy post. She doent know who we are, true, but she has information on Koboi. She is really skittish though, so, and the flares are acting up, so say anything, just keep her there until I can get there" said Captain Holly Short from the Ops booth.

Foaly, next to her, lifted his eyebrows. "Don't you think that's a bit scary, giving Fowl free rein?"

Artemis's voice came in again. "I have an idea, but…Foaly, I always wanted to be buried in Ireland, and tell Beckett that I hid his stuffed TeleTubby in his own sandbox." With that, he took his communicator out of his ear, took his jacket off, passed them both to Butler, and sat on the bar stool across from the informant, who was looking at him distrustfully.

"Does this have anything to do with rule 23?" asked Holly shakily.

Foaly shrugged, then told Butler to turn up his ear piece, so they could hear everything. Butler was murmuring to himself.

"Artemis knows what a teletubby is?"

Artemis said in a low voice "I'm from the LEP. Do you have something for me?"

The informant, a pixie looked up. "How do I know? I need proof before I start giving out information. These days, it's too risky. Last time I was underground, a filthy Mud Man named Fowl stole information out of some sprites mouth, or so I'm told."

Artemis paused. "What proof do you need?" He made sure that he didn't mention the fact that the he had stocked the Lear Jet with clean clothes, so he was not filthy.

"Name and rank would be nice."

Artemis paused again. "Captain Short."

Holly stared at him from the OPS booth. Her palms were slick with sweat. He said WHAT? Her face was matching Roots on his worst days. She was going to find the longitude and Latitude of (4,4) and dump him there after she killed him. Foaly was clearly trying not to snicker.

The pixie looked placated. "So you hate the Mud Boy to? Glad we agree on something?

We do agree, thought Holly.

Artemis was already talking. 'Yes. As you know, I know him REALLY well, and he's a jerk. Now, the information."

Holly was already out the door, not caring that the flares were up. Might as well go down in a blaze of glory. Foaly was tsking, something but how identity theft was one of the biggest threat to society today.

5 later…..

Holly strode into the bar, about to set things right. She walked up to the pixie who was giving some whereabouts, when Artemis looked up and pulled her in. He was looking slightly scared. "This is my partner, an expert on Opal Koboi."

The pixie relaxed a little, seeing someone closer to her own size. Apparently, this one refused to wear holograms as Short had said, when asked about his size.

"And you are?"

"Commander Kelp" said Artemis, clearly enjoying this.

"A female commander?"

"Yes. And good at what she does."

Holly decided his burying point had just went up to (4,5).

Foaly ran out of the OPS booth the grab trouble and some medical insurance.

Trouble came in a little apprehensively. Foaly hadn't told him anything, just dragged him in. Butler had decided to do his duty and try and save in charges life, so he put the iris cam in a closet.

"what am I looking at? Narnia?"

Suddenly the screen was filled with Artemis and Holly being shoved in the closet by Butler, followed by a crash, and an !Ole!

"What is going on" hissed Trouble

"That you Trouble?" Asked Holly

"Someone brought their water buffalo to the store, and now it's in the bar" said Artemis, clearly not even joking. "We have the information though."

"That's not natural."

"Yeah" Foaly interjected. "You go to a bar, to get killed first by IdentityLock, Then by an elf, and then by an aquatic loving bull? What kind of people come out of Ireland?"

Trouble ignored him. "Good job you two. How did you get him to talk?"

Both of them answered at the same time.

"Rule 23" said Artemis

"How do you like the name Artemis?" asked Holly.

… ….. …. …

There is Rule 23. NO! back to science. Es, I know this has very few jokes, but Im in a serious mood after watching redwall on Netflix. As far as the water buffalo thing…if you don't get that reference, you never lived. Tell me if you want this to carry over to the next rule, or just to leave as is. Did anyone ele she Certain Prey with Mark Harmon? Plus, is anyone else doing the AF scholl thing poseted by someone that im to last to look up? Im signing myself up to be made fun of, so you should too lolz.