*excited*

Reviews! I purposefully left it confusing, because I had a follow-up planned that kind of explained it. *now sheepish* maybe I could of explained a little better, but whatever. I also have a million Xovers halfwritten. Here are the summaries, so tell me which one to finish. Also, tell me if you want me to just bring this fic to a close at a good round 30 rules, because I'm kind of loosing inspiration. So just PM or Review.

Here are the summaries

NewsiesXArtemis Fowl: When an unknown criminal finds a rip in time, Artemis and Holly are forced to give chase. The Time rent lands them in the middle of the Newsies Strike.

Alex RiderXCastaways of the Flying Dutchman: When Ben and Ned find Alex desperately tring to escape an attept on his life by SCORPIA when they are dragged into the mission, which has 24 hours left to be completed before a promised disaster strikes.

Artemis FowlXThe Missing: When Artemis and Holly are investigating a lead on Opal from the past, they find an unusual burst of energy near the home of Jonah Skidmore, and they decide to follow up on the lead.

I would be working this AND Contact Recon, plus any other plot bunnies. So just for me, vote. Valentines day is coming so support A/H. And freak out with me when the Last Guardian comes out. Who is excited? Tell me someone else besides me has the day marked out on their calendars. PLUS kudos to IloveFowl for getting the water buffalo reference. Heck, I might use that song for a Mulch song-fic for AFC

Rule…..ummm..let me check…

RULE 24! (follow up to 23)

Imitation is not always flattery.

Trouble Kelp looked like someone had just taken a blowtorch to his face, then kept it there for laughs.

"Let me get this straight." He growled, each word seemed to be forced. "We have an informant who refused to speak to anyone but a police officer. The Mud Moron Fowl Captain Shorts name, rank, impersonated her, then Captain Short impersonated ME, and you did nothing to stop either one of them."

"Absolutely Nothing" said Foaly, enjoying the commander's anger a bit too much.

The phantom sadist turned up the blowtorch a couple notches.

"You didn't even try?"

Foaly knew he was approaching the breaking point. "Well, I thought about it." He said, trying to pacify the commander.

The Commander wasn't pacified. If anything, he took the pacifier, then spit it out, like pouty babies.

Movement on the screen caught his eye. "What's that? He asked pointing.

"That" said Foaly zooming in "is a dead cow coming through the roof."

"Do I even want to know?" Asked the commander.

Folay shrugged. "Well, you might want to get up their as fast as you can, because I think htats is your captain who just got gored in the thigh with no magic left in her tank by a panicked water buffalo."

"Why id there an-oh never mind. When is the next flare coming?"

Foaly checked the stats. "You might have to illegally." He rubbed his hands together gleefully. "like Diggums"

*five minutes later*

The ambulance worker looked at Trouble curiously to the Centaur on temporary crutches

"How many times did he fall in front of a moving LEP vehicle?"

*NOTE*

In the category of dirty looks, a new one was added. It was named Trouble-Kelps-just-so-we-are-clear-i-will-be-throwing-you-in-front-of-a-moving-vehicle-look. This would have happened later, but he checked to make sure his health insurance was still active. He thought about being cruel and canceling it, but he would have to face Holly's wrath, and it would be more painful than a bus. A troll on redbull seemed more like her.

*END NOTE*

Artemis had taken off his jacket and wrapped it around Holly's injured leg. He was worried about the state of her leg, and stood crouched over it, wincing. Butler had already called an ambulance and tranquillized the water buffalo. When the dead cow came through the roof, he thought about Artemis's safety, then of Monty Python. Then of rule 24.

….

Trouble had hidden his face to the sprite who ran an illegal pod. "Name mister" said the sprite.

Trouble thought about irony at the same time that he said "Mulch Diggums."

Foaly was in the Ops booth, when the thought struck him that Trouble might actually use his idea.

Nah, he decided. Trouble wasn't that stupid.

Trouble wasn't that stupid, actually. He brought the real Mulch Diggums to sell the line. The bar was built on a wood foundation, so he would need him anyway.

The sprite was suspicious. He knew the drill with people who tried to use a famous name. He had at least ten people this month alone say they were Koboi, and one was an old, fat, smelly goblin.

"Yep" blithered on Mulch.

"I thought Diggums was a dwarf"

"His brother is" said Mulch, his face breaking into a wide grin as he threw his arm around Trouble's neck. He was going to milk this identity swap thing as much as he could.

"How is that possible?"

"Well, when a dwarf mommy and an elf daddy love each-"

Trouble gave him the "It will be a subway for you" look.

…..

Mulch looked at Trouble in the shuttle. And shook his head.

"Why haven't I been thinking?" He seemed to be about to say something else but Trouble commented drily. "The First step to solving a problem is admitting it."

Mulch ignored him. "If Artemis is Holly, and Holly is you, and you are me, who am I?"

Trouble snickered, trying to imagine Mulch in a suit.

Mulch nodded decisively. "I must be Juliet"

When he got to the surface, Holly had found some Band-Aids, and it was too late for a healing anyway. Artemis and Butler were the ones needing a healing, because the tranquillized water buffalo woke up in the Bentley when they were checking the seatbelts. The dead cow was thrown in via catapult by an angry McDonalds' employee who was aiming for his old boss a few buildings away. He missed because he built the catapult out of Lincoln logs. Artemis woke up to a big post-it note that had written on it.

P.S. I suck at endings. I have a problem, I admit it. There were quite a few references in here, good luck seeing them. They were mostly written for older readers who are able to watch PG-13 movies so, if you didn't catch the thehy fit with the story.

*I was going to go on, but for this is a K+ fic, and I don't want to scare anyone. Everyone else knows the drill, but if it offends you, PM me, and I will replace it, but it struck me as something the Mulch would say. Hey, I just got done with another course of you-know-what-ed. My mind is in the gutter. If you didn't get the joke, disregard it