I woke up slowly, painfully. I was on my back on the sofa, staring at the ceiling. My head was throbbing, and my body felt like I had run a marathon. My mouth was dry, and my throat hurt like hell. The room was dimly lit, cool and quiet. I had no idea how long I had been laying here.

Memories of the phone call with my mother came rushing back, and the grief hit me like a rogue wave again. I was too exhausted to break down again. I felt a tear slip down my face, and I pulled an arm from the blanket I was wrapped in to wipe it. I noticed I still had an IV in my arm.

"Hey," I heard a warm voice say. "Welcome back."

I scanned the room for the source of the voice, and my eyes met Ximena's. She gave me a weak smile.

"I was worried about you. You went into shock. How are you feeling?"

I searched my brain to find a word that could adequately describe the pain I felt, but nothing came to mind.

"Rough," I said, my voice gravelly.

"Can I get you a pain reliever?" she asked, her eyes filled with concern.

I nodded in response, and she dug around in a black backpack at her feet. She produced a bottle of ibuprofen, poured two into her hand, and extended it to me.

I pulled myself more upright, taking the pills in my palm. She reached into her backpack again and pulled out a bottle of water, removing the lid to hand it to me.

I took the pills dutifully then sat quietly, studying my hands as they held the water. I could feel Ximena's eyes on me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked quietly, her voice like velvet.

I shook my head no.

"I need to call Ranger," she said, pulling her phone from her pocket. "I was under strict orders to call when you regained consciousness. He's managing our teams until I'm no longer needed here."

I felt panic rising in my chest, and guilt began to fill every empty space in my body. Morelli was my ex-boyfriend. We were done. My entire world wasn't supposed to crash down around me when something happened to him. I wasn't supposed to feel this devastated, right?

More tears began cascading down my face.

I had spent the night in Ranger's bed, wrapped in his arms. I loved Ranger, even if I failed to tell him as much. For twenty four hours, I had been exclusively with Ranger for the first time ever. Now, I was back with Morelli, emotionally at least. My heart was broken for him, my body longing to hold him, protect him. I was already being cruel to Ranger, albeit inadvertently. The waves of panic kept crashing harder and harder as Ximena dialed.

"Don't!" I exclaimed as she raised the phone to her ear.

Ximena gave me a confused look, followed by an apologetic look. I heard a voice on the other end of the line.

"Report."

I put my head in my hands, trying to quell the panic. I was shivering in my blankets.

"She's awake and upright," she said.

He responded then disconnected.

"He'll be here in twenty," she said quietly. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. I'm just fucked up."

Ximena gave me an unreadable look. She rustled around in her bag, coming up with some tape and gauze.

"I can remove your IV fluids now," she said quietly.

I extended my arm to her, and she began working to remove the needle.

Part of me felt like I should be surprised that I had an IV in my arm. The other part of me knew the lengths Ranger went to regularly to protect me or to care for me. He bled money every time my life was threatened or in danger. Why should it be any different when my life turned upside down emotionally? Of course this would happen.

"I had no idea you were a medic," I said, trying to make simple conversation.

"There's a lot you don't know about me," she responded with a slight smile. "Hopefully we can change that sometime."

When the IV was out, I pulled myself to my feet and began walking in the direction of the bedroom. I was still wrapped in a blanket.

"Steph?" I heard Ximena ask behind me.

"Yeah?" I asked, stopping but not turning to face her.

"You have to have faith that everything will be okay." She paused, an expectant silence filling the space between us.

I felt my stomach turn, and I took off for the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

I threw up what remained of my breakfast into the toilet, then took a moment to compose myself on the bathroom floor. I realized my clothes were soaked through with sweat, so I stood and removed them. I turned on the water in the shower, and I brushed my teeth as I waited for the water to warm.

"Focus on the next task," I told myself in the mirror, pulling my hair into a messy bun. "Don't think about anything but the next logical step to your day. Right now, that's a shower. Then the next step is clean clothes."

I climbed into the shower and quickly washed my body, keeping my hair dry. I willed myself not to think about Joe or Ranger. I toweled off quickly, and I headed for the closet. I released my hair from its elastic, and it fell in soft curls around my shoulders once more.

I had pulled on black underwear, a black bra, and a black long-sleeved Rangeman shirt when the hair stood up on the back of my neck and I heard footfalls.

My eyes met Ranger's. He was leaning against the door frame, his arms at his sides. His eyes were serious, almost sad.

I stood there, unable to break the connection.

Ranger spoke first. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, unable to form words.

He studied me for a long time, as if assessing my condition. I became uncomfortable in my state of undress, so I grabbed a pair of black yoga pants and tugged them on.

"Let's talk," he said, motioning for me to follow him out of the closet. I did so obediently, crossing my arms across my chest as if to hold myself together. I padded barefoot across the flooring, out of the bedroom.

Ximena was gone, but the curtains had been pulled open, letting in the warm mid-day sun. It seemed a cruel stroke of luck that Joe would be fighting for his life, but the world would continue spinning on its axis, the day beyond the windows beautiful as if nothing had happened.

Ranger took a seat on a chair in his living room, and I planted myself on the couch, sitting with my legs crossed. I pulled a throw pillow into my lap, wrapping my arms around it as if it were armor for the news I was about to hear.

"Morelli is stable at Saint Francis. He took two bullets in his left lung, but they were able to repair the damage. He's on a ventilator. A bullet grazed the left side of his head too. It did some damage to the left temporal lobe of his brain. It's unclear what lasting effects it will have, because Morelli hasn't regained consciousness yet. They've got him in a medically-induced coma to give his brain time to heal. The temporal lobe controls functions like learning, language, hearing, and emotion. They'll know more when he wakes and can be evaluated."

We sat in silence as I processed the information I was given.

"His prognosis is good, Steph. He's going to make it. He's out of the woods."

There was a long pause before he spoke again.

"I'm getting regular updates from a contact at the hospital. I'll let you know if I hear anything else. I have a man outside Morelli's room. It was authorized by Trenton PD."

I was shocked to hear this news. I couldn't believe Ranger had a man on Joe's hospital room. They were already running a skeleton crew in Trenton with all of us here. What did Ranger have to gain by looking out for Morelli? Suddenly, the answer felt clear.

Me. My trust. My calm. The man wasn't for Joe, it was for me.

My eyes met Rangers, and I could see worry behind his unusually thin calm veneer.

Was he worried I was going back to Morelli? Was he worried about me? About Morelli? Was it the terrorist threat in Atlanta? Something else? So many thoughts were going through my mind it was making me dizzy. I needed to ground myself.

I got to my feet, crossed to Ranger, and crawled into his lap as if I were a small child. I rested my head on his shoulder, and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

Ranger's arms wrapped around my back, drawing me close. I felt his body relax into mine, and a feeling of safety began pushing away my unease. I felt my heart rate steady, then slow. Ranger's arms were a safety net.

I cleared my throat to find my voice, and croaked, "I'm sorry for how I reacted. I should have kept it together this morning."

Ranger released me, his hands wrapping around my arms. He drew back, holding me at arm's length so he could see my face.

"You have no reason to apologize," he said firmly, his gaze holding mine. "You have a long history with Morelli. Even if you two are not together right now, he is still a close friend." He wrapped his arms around me again, pulling me close.

"Right now?" I whispered into his neck. "'Right now', not 'anymore.' You think I'll get back together with him."

He didn't respond for a long time, obviously contemplating his response.

"The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, Babe."

The guilt swirled in my belly. "He needs me," I said in a whisper. "I can't abandon him. He never abandoned me."

Tears welled in my eyes, and the words were catching in my throat. But I had to say it. I had to get it off my chest.

"You always push me back to him," I choked. "Always."

"I know," Ranger replied. "He can give you the things you need. The things you want."

"And you can't?" I countered.

He didn't respond to the question. Instead, he changed the subject.

"I will get you on a direct flight to Trenton in a few hours. The next flight leaves at 2:45 PM."

He was avoiding the conversation I tried to start. Typical Ranger.

I pulled away from him so I could look in his eyes. I gave him a half-assed Burg glare. "I won't go until tomorrow night. We have a job to do. I won't leave you without a partner. I won't abandon you either."

Tears streamed down my cheeks. Crap, why did my love life have to be so screwed up?

"Babe…" Ranger started.

I cut him off. "No. You said he's in a coma. We won't know anything more until he wakes up, right? I'm not leaving you without a partner. If something happened to you, I couldn't live with myself. I'm staying for now. I'll leave as soon as we finish tomorrow."

Ranger looked uncertain, a war raging behind his calm mask. "You're in no shape to work, Babe. It puts us all at risk if your brain is somewhere else."

I didn't think. I placed my palms on his cheeks, and my lips connected with his.

Ranger didn't return my kiss. I felt his body tense.

I pulled back to study him, and I saw the war in his eyes.

"I want to be here with you."

I kissed him again. The kiss started slow but grew more passionate. His lips began moving with mine, and I felt the tension is his body slowly release.

I broke from the kiss and got to my feet. Ranger rose, too.

"Take the rest of the day," Ranger said. "We'll drive the routes again tonight, and we'll have an early start tomorrow morning. You need to rest to be on top of your game."

I wanted to argue. I wanted to go along. But honestly, I was too exhausted. My head still hurt, and my body ached. I wanted to fall into a bed and stay there.

I nodded to Ranger, and he headed for the door. He put his Glock into the holster on his belt, and he pocketed his keys.

"I'll have Maria come check on you a little later. Maria and her husband Juan manage the Rangeman building here in Atlanta. If you need me, you know how to reach me."

And in the blink of an eye, he was gone.