A/N: Hey everyone! After all the fluff in the last chapter this one will be rather painful and dark.
As always I don't own anything and I'm responsible for all mistakes made.
Big thank you to Abi my wonderful beta!
Trigger Warning: Mention of rape, child abuse and suicidal thoughts.
Robin can feel the exact moment where she pulls away from before she actually pulls away from him; can feel how she closes herself up again.
And, just as predicted, Regina is not just the one who started the kiss but also the one who stops it. Stops it by jumping up; face on again, pale, eyes sad. Robin would do anything to make that pain he sees go away, but he knows he can't.
Knows that isn't his job anyway. She isn't his to fix, he hates that word anyway. Regina isn't broken or anything, she is just hurting and he wishes she would tell him. He hasn't known her for very long but she already means a great deal to him. There had been an immediate chemistry between them- a connection.
Of course working with a gruesome case like they do- a case where you need to have a partner you can trust- helped them along, getting close rather quickly.
He was more than a little surprised when she kissed him, lips softer than he imagined (no matter what will happen this will be a moment he will keep in his mind for a very long time, safely tucked away but highly treasured)
It had been amazing, the touch of her lips against his, his hands in her silky locks pulling her closer. She tasted like apple and vanilla and he wants nothing more than to kiss her again.
But judging by the look in her eyes that won't happen any time soon and probably shouldn't have happened in the first place.
"Regina I…"
"You should go. It's late and we have an early start tomorrow."
Her voice is distant, her chocolate colored eyes empty, free of the twirl of emotions he just saw a few moments ago. She is putting the mask firmly back in place.
Sets the boundaries.
"If that's what you want Regina. Just let me get Roland."
With that he walks away, towards Henry's room asking himself what just happened to turn a bloody amazing kiss into something that was clearly hurting Regina.
Regina only realizes she is holding her breath when Robin walks away towards her son's room. She is an idiot. She should've never kissed him, should've never let him come so close.
And the worst part of all this… the kiss had been amazing. Her entire body is still tingling, his touch, his lips on her… it made her feel alive, light in a way she hasn't felt in a long, long time.
Too bad it would be the one and only time.
He leaves with Roland in his arms, throwing one last glance at her and for a moment he looks like he wants to say something but changes his mind in the last second.
So it's only a "Goodnight Regina. Thank you for a lovely afternoon"
Then the door closes. Closes and she can feel tears gather in her eyes.
"Mom?"
Her son's voice startles her but when she turns around to face him the tears are gone.
"Hey sweetie. I thought you were asleep?
"I was but Robin isn't really that good at the "walking without noise" part."
He grins at her and for the hundred time her heart warms at the sight of it.
"Good! I'm not the only one who thinks that." Then a moment of silence before she adds an "I hope you liked your birthday sweetie."
Henry doesn't answer at first but comes closer, hugging his mother tightly. He is still small enough that she can put her chin on his head but it's getting more and more difficult.
Her little prince is growing up so quickly
"It was the best birthday I ever had, thanks mom. I had a lot of fun today. Even if I might have had a bit too much cake," he adds sheepishly.
"I'm glad Henry," followed by a concerned "Are you not feeling well sweetie?" she is already scanning every part of him, her hand on his forehead checking, which makes her son chuckle
"I'm fine mom, just stuffed and tired."
She pulls him close again, relieved at his words.
"Then how about you go to bed? I'll just clean up and then lie down too`"
Henry nods (which tells her he is really exhausted) but before he kisses her goodnight he asks her- hesitation in his voice
"Everything okay between you and Robin?"
She stops breathing for a moment, wondering when Henry learnt to read her that well.
"Everything is fine sweetheart. Now hush it's time for bed."
She can see he doesn't fully believe her but for some reasons he doesn't push, only kisses her goodnight and brushes his teeth and lets her tuck him in.
"I love you mom."
"I love you too my little prince. Sleep well"
Robin isn't sure how to act when he sees Regina walk through the door the next morning. Things between them are… bloody complicated
He doesn't regret the kiss… well at least he didn't till he saw the look in her dark eyes. Till she treats him like an acquaintance rather than a partner, a friend or whatever the sodding hell they are to each other
Either way he gets the cold shoulder all day.
No matter whether they are in the morgue or out questioning suspects all he gets are one-word answers, or only job related questions.
No word about their kiss, only a polite "You're welcome dear, Henry loved your gift" as he thanks her for the birthday party invitation.
Its driving him crazy but every attempt to talk to her- really talk to her- gets shut down.
It goes on for four days till Robin has enough. They are on the drive back to the precinct after hitting another dead end. They had hoped to get any information from Sidney after he claimed he had gotten a letter from the real killer. Turns out it had even been the truth but also an attempt to get more information out of them and- even if Regina denies it- to be close to his dark haired partner.
At Sidney's office an hour ago
"So Sidney I hear you've received something that could help us?" Regina smiles at him from the other side of the table and Robin shivers at Sidney's look. He practically leers at her, his eyes a bit too low to be considers polite and Robin wants to punch him.
He has a bad feeling around this man and somehow can't shake it.
Maybe it's just the way he looks at his partner but Robin wouldn't mind if his fist and Sidney became close friends.
"I might have, Detective, but why would I share it? Even if the person asking is breathtakingly beautiful?"
He reaches out to touch Regina's hand which is lying on the table and Robin would love nothing more than to cut it, but he remains silent.
Regina's orders
Regina, who acts like she is flattered by the compliment, not moving her hand.
"Because you know how it works dear. You get us something and we return the favor," Regina winks at him at the word favor and Robin has troubles suppressing an eye roll as the breathing of the other man quickens
Like he would ever have a chance with Regina.
"Fair point, Detective. But what would you give me in return?""
He smirks, eyes wandering over Regina's body and Robin is seriously fighting for control now.
Slimy asshole
"How about an exclusive interview?"
"With you? Maybe surrounded by a few candles and some good wine?"
Oh for fuck's sake
"I think we can arrange something don't you think Sidney?"
Robin is seriously boiling now, anger and disgust running hot through his veins
"I think so too Regina. You can read it, but it stays here without a warrant."
It's a win- they will get a warrant for that letter but this things take time, time they don't have. The forensics on it will have to wait, even though Robin highly doubts they will find anything.
Their killer had been very careful.
He watches as Regina takes the letter from Sidney, hands covered in white gloves, both holding their breath.
They need a break in the case, desperately
Regina remains silent when she reads the letter and Robin's heart sinks. This isn't good, it can't be.
His suspicions get confirmed when she hands the letter over to him. A letter only holding a few words.
People of Chicago
I'm here, I'm everywhere. And I have a score to settle.
Count to ten
And die
So yes Robin's mood isn't the best and when Regina barely reacts to another one of his questions he explodes
"Damnit Regina!"
She flinches and for a moment he feels guilty for raising his voice like this but he is tired of being ignored, of getting the cold shoulder
"Any reason why you yelled like a Neanderthal?"
Her voice is cold but Robin is done and drives to parking spot and stops the car facing her.
"Yes there is. We kissed Regina, bloody hell you kissed me and since that you act like we're strangers. Like I've done something unforgivable and… you kissed me, Regina."
She remains silent before telling him, still so cold:
"It was a mistake."
"Why?"
"We work together?"
"Only temporarily and if I heard right you had a child with your last partner. So it hasn't stopped you before,"
"Daniel is none of your business."
The glare she throws at him tells Robin he has to treat the topic of Daniel gently so he backs down
"I'm sorry Regina, you're right. But my point still stands."
"Did you ever think that I might not be that interested Robin?"
He actually has thought about that more than a bit, but his gut tells him Regina and he are on the same page in regards to their developing feelings for each other.
And his gut is rarely wrong.
"I did indeed, Regina. But somehow I get the feeling that mutual attraction isn't our problem.
"Ah and what makes you sure of that Locksley? What makes you think you know me so well?"
"Well first I'd be charred to a crisp by now if you didn't and-
But he doesn't get to finish his sentence as his phone rings and he is tempted to just let it ring but the ID says Mulan and Mulan never calls unless it's an emergency.
She is the kind of person who prefers to text over call.
So he picks up and when he does all color disappears from his face.
Regina had dozens of sharp replies on her tongue to push him away but they get stuck when she sees his expression as he talks on the phone
Something has happened. Something bad.
As soon as he hangs up he starts the car again and drives, drives far too fast
"Robin slow down, what happened"
He doesn't react, only drives like he is chased by the devil himself
"Robin?!"
He finally answers and when he does Regina's heart almost stops.
"Roland was in an accident. He is at the hospital."
Regina only nods and let him drive and tells him twice at the last moment that a car is coming, or that the traffic light is red. They thankfully arrive at the hospital without an accident but Robin is off.
She has never seen him like this, has seen him become calm in bad situations but he's completely out of it. So it's on Regina to take control of the situation. She simply takes his hand into hers and leads him to somebody who will have information.
She asks around, Robin holding onto her like she was his only lifeline and Regina works her miracles and finds a nurse that leads them to his son or rather to his doctor.
Dr. Greg Mendell is the name of the doctor that greets them and tells them that Roland fell from the slide and broke his arm. It's a complicated break and he might need surgery but the injury isn't life threating and if they get lucky will heal by itself
Regina listens carefully rubbing soothing circles over Robin's hand- he hasn't let go of her during the entire conversation with the doctor.
"Do you want to see your son now?"
Robin nods quickly and follows the doctor, Regina close behind, relieved that none of Roland's injuries aren't extremely serious and are taken care of.
"Papa!"
Roland looks positively miserable when he reaches for his father who is at his side within seconds. Despite the situation Regina's heart warms when she sees those two, even if Roland is now crying in Robin's arms
That's when Regina notices the woman next to him. She is very beautiful, from Asian decent and if Regina would have to guess its Mulan, Robin's neighbor.
The assumption confirms itself when the woman takes a step and introduces herself to Regina.
"It's nice to finally meet you Regina, Robin and Roland told me a lot about you."
"Likewise dear."
Neither of the women get to say more because Roland finally realized who has come with his Papa and shouts a loud Regina
Regina is immediately at his side; she had been more in the background giving father and son some private time.
"Hello my little brave knight. How are you?"
"It hurts Gina."
"I know sweetie. You were very brave."
"I'm gonna get a cast."
"You will? Can I sign it?"
The thought of Regina signing his cast let Roland reconsider his previous thoughts on them. Previous thoughts he shouted at this Papa just minutes before, making his displeasure pretty clear
"Yes! Did you hear Papa, Gina will sign my cast!"
"I did my boy. That a big honor."
It takes almost three hours till they are allowed to take Roland home, Robin telling Regina that she doesn't need to wait for them, she doesn't have to be here.
Which she ignores and tells him she is right where she is supposed to be, much to Robin's relief. While he mostly takes care of Roland, Regina does all the paper work, talks to the doctor, gets the recipe for the pain killers and deals with the discharge.
She doesn't mind it at all; wants to help Robin and its nice for once being the one who helps him, but Dr. Mendell makes her shiver. She caught him staring at her more than once and her instincts scream at her to be careful.
She has learnt to listen to them and spends as little time with the doctor as possible, making a note to herself to get Roland a different doctor the next time he has to be checked out.
Roland is fast asleep in his father's arms when they leave the hospital and stays the way till they reached the Locksley household.
Regina helps him putting Roland to bed and when the little man is secure Regina gives herself a moment to take a look around.
Robin's apartment is just like she imagined it. A lot of wood, a lot of warm colors. It's cozy and surprisingly neat. She likes it
"Regina?"
She turns around just as she comes out of Roland's room still pale.
"Is he still sleeping?"
"Yes." A moment of silence.
"He will be okay, right? You got the same impression from the doctor didn't you?"
He seems so worried, so uncertain, Regina's heart breaks for him. She quickly closes the distance between them, choosing to ignore everything that has happened between them lately and hugs him.
"He will be just fine, Robin. Children get hurt, it happens. A broken arm isn't all that pleasant but it will heal. Everything will be okay."
Robin just nods and holds tightly onto her and she lets him. And they just stand here Robin in her arms and her hands rubbing soothing circles.
"Thank you for everything today Regina I have no bloody idea what I would've done without you."
"It was no big deal Robin. You know how much I like Roland and…we are friends right?"
They are far more, but those are thoughts Regina doesn't want to deal with now and she hopes he takes her offer of friendship. For now.
He seems to understand that now isn't the time to ask questions, so he simply nods.
"That we are. Can I offer you anything? Something to drink or eat?"
"Thank you Robin but no. Today was a hard day and you need to rest and take care of your little boy. And I don't want to see you tomorrow morning. If you need take the day off or at least the morning."
They both know taking off an entire day would've only been possible if Roland had a life threating injury, or Robin really had no one to take care of him but since neither was the case he had to work
Hunting down a serial killer isn't all that fun after all.
She says goodbye to him and hugs him again and interrupts him before he can thank her again.
"if you say thank you one more time Locksley I will have to shoot you."
"Alright we don't want that. Have a good night Regina."
"You too Robin."
And with that she is gone- so very glad that nothing too serious has happened to the little man who somehow found his way into her heart, just like his father.
Things are more comfortable between him and Regina the next day; him thanking her over and over again for what she did for them yesterday. Working together is almost pleasant again.
They joke with each other, gossip about Emma and Neal and spend a good two hours in the interrogation room with Hans- the husband of younger niece from Ingrid.
That guy is bad news, and although they haven't gotten anything out of him they will give it another go at some point. He is the only lead they have so far and Elsa- who calls every day- seems rather sure that her sister's boyfriend has something to do with it.
But they have been working on that case for almost two weeks now and haven't gotten any closer to the perpetrator- everyone is desperate for someone to blame.
Robin isn't sure if Hans is their guy, but he doesn't want to overlook anything.
At least things with Regina are getting better... at least so he thought.
She had been an amazing help with Roland and he thought things were getting normal again but while Regina had been almost kind the last two days, today things are totally different again.
She is cold, her head really isn't in the game and she keeps snapping at him.
"Regina can you hand me that file over there?"
No reaction, she just stares at the computer and Robin is sure she isn't actually reading one line.
"Regina?"
He tries again but she is still not responding. Emma sees his attempts to get Regina's attention and does him the favor of tapping Regina on the shoulder on her way out
"Hey earth to Mills. Locksley wants you to give him the file."
Its only then when she reacts handing him the file without anther word. He and Emma exchange a glance but the blond Detective only shrugs making it clear that whatever is going on between them its non on her business
Robin is on his own.
"Thank you Regina."
"You're welcome Locksley."
"You okay?"
"Fine."
Robin sighs but keeps working. Maybe he gets lucky later. He doesn't. All he gets is a quick "Goodnight Locksley, see you tomorrow," when their work day ends.
He thought they were over that kiss. Guess he was wrong
Regina hates this building; hates knowing that her sister is trapped inside it. Trapped for trying to protect her little sister. Admittedly robbing a bank hadn't been the smartest move but Zelena had been desperate.
"Hey you."
Regina smiles at her sister but her smile is answered with a concerned frown. Once again.
"'Hey you' to you too sis. What happened?"
Regina sighs and tries hard to remain calm. Zelena always knows when something is up, it's like she has a radar or something. It drove Regina mad when they were children and she isn't faring much better now
"Why do you think something happened, dear?"
"You aren't that hard to read sis. So spit it out. Your nervous energy is ruining my Chi."
Regina laughs tensely and when she realizes that she fidgeting she holds onto her skirt.
For heaven's sake Regina, sit still. Ladies do not fidget
Mothers voice in her head, the memory of sharp words and red marks on her cheek make her shiver.
"I kissed Robin."
Whatever Zelena expected it wasn't this.
"You did what?"
Then a moment of silence followed by
"How was it?"
Switching from concern to wanting to know all the dirty details… that was so typical Zelena.
"It doesn't matter how it was. It won't happen again.
"Why not?"
Regina looks at her sister and wishes she could tell her truth, the whole truth, but the guilt would destroy her sister. Even if it wasn't her fault at all.
It was Regina's.
"Because we work together. It would be very unprofessional for me to engage in anything more than friendship with him."
"Didn't stop you and Daniel, did it now?"
"Zelena."
There is a warning in Regina's voice, a warning her sister- as always- chooses to ignore.
"R."
"Give me a better reason why you would kick a hot charming Brit out? A guy you invited to my nephew's birthday party I want to add. You clearly like him and you seem to trust him. You don't usually trust people, sis."
"I might just be not that into him. Did you think about that?"
"Yeah sure. And I'm the Queen of England."
Regina knows she won't stop pushing so she says the one thing that will shut Zelena up. Even if it's only a small part of why she has to put walls up between her and Robin.
"Because Robin would want to get to know me Zelena. All of me. And he deserves better than getting pulled into our family mess."
Zelena closes her eyes and for the first time today Regina sees pain in those blue eyes. Pain and guilt.
"Leopold is gone R. You only speak to mother three times a year and I'm so sorry that it has to be that."
Regina interrupts her with a quick "That's not your fault Zel, its fine."
"It's not your fault either. Nothing of what has happened was ever your fault.
"Zel I don't-"
"Did you ever tell anybody what happened except Daniel and David?"
"No I didn't. And David only knows pieces."
He would've known nothing if Regina hadn't gotten pretty drunk years ago and poured her heart out to him.
"Then why not tell Robin? You seem to trust him and he seems to be a good guy. He can handle it."
"You never met him. How can you be so sure?"
"Again, you trust him and you don't do trusting. You are not okay sis."
"I'm fine."
Now it's Zelena's turn to sigh deeply and then something happens Regina hasn't seen in a very long time. Tears gather in her sister's blue eyes. Zelena doesn't cry. Never. She screams or yells or thinks of all kind of dramatic gestures but she doesn't cry.
"No you aren't. And don't think I didn't notice that you are keeping something from me. If you don't want to talk about it with me, fine, but talk to somebody."
"Why?"
"Because I can't lose you, you idiot."
Regina is thinking the entire drive home about her sister's words. Maybe she is right; maybe she should talk to Robin about it. At least the part that won't put her ass right in jail. Regina never shared the details of her childhood, too painful to talk about it.
But she knows that she can't keep going on like this. The stress is seriously getting to her and maybe… maybe voicing some of this means she will be able to sleep through a night.
She hasn't in so long.
Regina takes a shower as soon as she is home and almost slips on the wet floor as she tries to get her phone before it stops ringing. It's Belle telling her that Henry has fallen asleep watching a movie and if it's alright with her she will bring him tomorrow morning, maybe picks up some breakfast on the way.
Regina knows waking Henry wouldn't be a big deal but Belle does this sometimes. Giving her night off based on an excuse. Regina loves nothing more than being Henry's mother but sometimes having the house just to herself for a night is nice.
But every time she does have that thought she feels like a bad mother. The rational part of her knows that having a day off once in a while doesn't make her anything like Cora, anything like the woman who raised her but still… the feeling won't go away.
Belle has picked up on that. And Regina is just too tired to argue with the stubborn girl so she simply says yes thank you and see you tomorrow and to call her if her little prince needs anything at all.
Regina is just about to get herself another glass of wine while watching senseless TV when the bell rings. Since Henry won't come home she thought she could enjoy the bottle of red wine Mal brought.
Maybe sleep for one night.
Regina sighs when she looks through the peephole and sees Robin at her door. She is so tired
"Robin? Didn't we just say goodbye to each other?"
Robin isn't sure if this is a mistake or not but he had to check up on her.
"We did milady but you seemed a bit… I was worried."
"There is no need. I'm fine."
Robin only looks at her and then sighs. He won't push her, won't step over the invisible line she's clearly drawn between them.
"If you say so. I brought your favorite chocolate. Thought it might cheer you up a bit. And say thank you again for everything you did for me and Roland on Wednesday. But I can just leave it here and go."
He looks at her hopefully and he can see the struggle in her eyes and waits patiently for her to kick him out.
But to his surprise she doesn't
"Another bribe. Well then come in, can't eat it all by myself. And I already told you its fine."
That's when Robin realizes that Regina isn't entirely sober. Not drunk or anything, but she is clearly feeling the wine. Which means that Henry isn't here.
"Where's your boy?"
"At Belle's. He fell asleep watching movies and she didn't want to wake him. She brings him and breakfast over tomorrow."
"Ah okay. So it's just you and me?"
"You and me and the chocolate. And wine if you want a glass too?"
Robin nods and soon they are sitting on her couch, both holding onto their glasses, both desperately not trying to think about what happened the last time they sat on this couch.
They sit in silence, Robin not daring to say a word and Regina… she seems to be far way.
Robin is about to open his mouth to interrupt the awkward silence but Regina beats him to it.
"Today is his birthday. Leopold's.
"He was your stepfather right?" At her nod he adds "I'm sorry for your loss."
She looks at him and then laughs. It's a laugh full of bitterness and pain
"No need to be sorry Robin. The world is a far better place without him in it."
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
Robin doesn't; doesn't when he sees the way she looks at him, but he cares. Cares so fucking much about her and he wants to help.
"No. But Zelena thinks I should."
Zelena- her sister. The one that sits in jail, something Robin knows Regina blames herself for.
"Maybe she is right? Talking should help I heard."
She glares at him and doesn't answer only taking another sip of her wine. Still she seems to consider his and her sister's words.
"Regina I-" he reaches out to touch her hand but she flinches back from him, making him withdraw. "I'm sorry," he whispers
Letting her have her space. He knows he has to tread carefully if he doesn't want her walls to go up again.
She has to be ready to tell him. Whatever it is.
And Robin hopes to god that it isn't what he fears it is.
"I'm here Regina. Whenever you're ready."
Regina isn't looking at him anymore just stares straight ahead and her voice sounds once again distant when she starts talking.
"I need you not to interrupt me, okay? And not to say anything when I'm done. Can we do that?"
Robin answers with a simple "Whatever you need, Regina."
"He married my mother when I was 12 and Zel 15. Daddy just died a year before their wedding and… well my relationship with my mother was already… unpleasant before she dragged a new guy into our home."
Robin somehow gets the feeling that unpleasant doesn't even begin to describe the relationship between Regina and her mother but that is a story for another day.
"At first he just made me uncomfortable. The way he looked at me, how he accidently came into the bathroom when I was showering. I guess the writing was on the wall."
Robin's heart grows heavy; the direction this conversation is going becomes pretty clear and he is about to tell her to stop
But he promised her to remain quiet and he intends to keep that promise.
"For the first few years nothing happened, he was just creepy and I tried my best to never be alone with him. But then shortly after my 15th birthday, mother was on a business trip, Zel has just moved out and I was alone at home with the flu."
She takes another sip of her wine still not looking at him. And Robin just listens, hatred growing at every word she says.
"I didn't know he was home and when I woke up he was sitting on my bed, just staring at me. I was so scared but he just stroked my cheek and said that he was providing my family with our lifestyle and that it was time that he got something out of it. It was time for me to be a good girl."
She spits out the words good girl like they are poison and Robin remembers their first time in the car, remembers her flinching back from him saying those exact words.
If he could he would kick his arse. He is such a bloody idiot
"And our status meant everything to my mother, everything, and he knew that."
There is anger, betrayal in her voice and she is still not looking at him.
"I begged him not to. I don't know why I was foolish enough to believe begging would work. It never worked before."
Robin pulls in his breath trying to keep everything together, trying to ignore that begging her parents not to hurt her seemed to be something common in the Mills household.
"I never done it before and h-he was so rough. It hurt, a lot. And all the time he was whispering what a good girl I was. How good I was doing."
"I fought him at first but he was a stronger and then I just let it happen. I just let it happen again and again."
There's a self-loathing in her voice, a disgust with herself that makes Robin wanna march over to the graveyard and kill Leopold again and again.
"When I was 17 I couldn't take it any longer. I-I felt his touch; I could smell him all over me no matter how often I showered. I could feel him on top of me even when he wasn't around. I couldn't take it anymore
Regina feels like she can't breathe anymore, can still feel the touch of a man long gone, can feel him force himself on her, can hear herself scream.
Leopold Blanchard took so much from her, destroyed her piece by piece. Even if it was her mother who almost pushed Regina over the edge.
It hurts talking about what the man who was supposed to protect her did to her, it hurts so fucking much. And she still can't look at Robin, doesn't want to see his blue eyes full of disgust, disgust she is sure will be there.
She had been so weak, so damn weak.
Regina closes her eyes and when she puts her hand out of her lap next to herself she can feel Robin's hand next to hers and before she knows what's she is doing she is reaching for it. Robin doesn't hesitate and takes her hand into is squeezing reassuringly.
It calms her bit down. And for a while they sit like this, holding hands and Regina breathing in and out. Quickly. Too Quickly.
Its Robin who interrupts the silence after all
"Breath Regina, just take deep breaths. You are safe."
That's when Regina realizes that she is close to hyperventilation. She tries to calm herself, trying to focus on Robin drawing soothing circles on her hand and slowly her lungs relax
"I'm sorry."
She whispers still not looking at him
"There is nothing to be sorry about Regina."
Robin slowly puts his arm around her, waiting for her to shake it off but she doesn't and after a while she even leans into his touch. Tense at first but soon she can't hold it again anymore and begins to sob
It's the most silent crying Robin has ever heard but one that breaks his heart when he holds her close, letting her cry in his arms
He wants to kill Leopold Blanchard, wants to kill him for hurting the woman he cares so much about. Wants him to suffer forever laying a finger on her, for… raping her- he shivers at the word, anger running through his veins.
"I've got you milady, I've got you."
For a while they stay like this, him holding her not saying a word. Not till Regina slowly withdraws from him, wiping away her tears.
He softly tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear and smiles at her
"Hey there."
"Hey."
She looks at him with an uncertainty it breaks his heart all over again.
"You alright?"
"I'm fine."
If Robin had a dollar every time she tells him that she is fine while not actually being fine he would be a millionaire by now. But since he can only imagine how hard that just was for her he suppresses a sigh.
"Was Leopold the reasons why Zelena robbed the bank?"
Regina nods silently before telling him
"Among other things yes. I was at a… pretty dark place when Zel robbed that bank. I-I was just done hurting."
Robin is sure that there is more behind it because what Regina is talking about sounds a bloody lot like giving up like… ending things.
But he doesn't push on that topic; knows one painful memory after another.
"And your mum?"
There is a shadow in Regina's eyes, a look that looks a damn lot like hatred and betrayal. Her voice is once again distant, as it always is when her mother comes up
"I told her about 2 months after he came to me for the first time. She told me to stop telling lies. Leopold provided for us and she wouldn't jeopardize any of it just because I was being dramatic."
Its seems Robin's list of people he would like to rip apart got a new name on it.
"So she did nothing?"
Robin is a parent and he really can't imagine how a mother can stand idly by when her child gets hurt like that. But he knows it happens and he can see now firsthand how much it can hurt. Can see the pain so clearly in Regina's dark eyes
"Oh no she did plenty. Just nothing to help me. Zelena tried to get through to her with the same success I had. She tried to tell other people but Leopold was a well-respected judge. No one listened. I tried to run away but I had no money, nowhere to go.
"So one day after I told her that I couldn't do it anymore she hugged me and said she would take care of it. She robbed the bank the same day and got caught."
Robin can hear the guilt in her voice, knows she blames herself for it.
"It wasn't your fault Regina."
"Of course it was. If it would've kept my mouth shut and didn't tell her what Leopold was doing to me she wouldn't have done it. She wouldn't have spent the last 14 years behind bars."
"She was a big sister trying to protect her little one. I probably would've done the same."
The smile she gives him is a sad one
"Zelena finally escaped our home-"
"Did he rape Zelena too?"
Robin interrupts her and sees her flinch at the word rape and he would like to kick himself again.
"No he didn't. She wasn't his type. But our mother was worse enough all by herself."
Robin is so angry, so angry at the people who were supposed to protect the woman in front of him and did nothing but hurt her.
"She moved out as soon as she had the money. She hated to leave me behind but she and mother she… well Zelena had to get out. And she didn't know about Leopold till I was 17."
"Why didn't you tell her? It seems you two were always close?"
"Because when I did tell her, her answer was to rob a bank Robin. I knew nobody would believe me and I know Zel had no way of getting me out. I didn't want to burden her with that too."
Even when she was hurting, even if she was about to break Regina thought about others. She really is something.
"I'm sorry Regina."
He says, not sure what else to tell her. He is so angry on her behalf but he knows that's not something that will help her. So he just keeps holding her hand.
"You didn't do anything wrong, there is nothing to apologize for Robin."
And there is something in her tone something that makes Robin tell her
"Neither did you Regina." She once again only gives him a sad smile.
"Regina?"
She doesn't answer immediately but when she does is rips him apart
"I didn't stop him. I let him."
He shakes his head and takes both of her hands into his.
"Look at me Regina," he waits for her to actually do it and then continues
"None of this is your fault. He was supposed to protect you and there was no way you could've stopped him. You did the one thing you could do."
"Which is what?"
"You survived. And you kept fighting. You just told me that you were done but somehow you found the strength to keep going. To become an amazing cop, an incredible mother and a wonderful human being. That's a lot to be proud of Regina. You did that. All on your own."
A moment of silence then
"I'm proud of you."
It's the first time tonight he gets a real smile from her, one that is honest. On that is colored by surprise and disbelieve but its real nonetheless.
"Thank you."
Then her smile disappears replaced by something far darker.
"Regina what is it?"
"You just said you were proud of me surviving."
"Yes?"
"You wouldn't say that if you knew what I had to do to survive."
"Regina I-"
"I'm tired and we have to talk to Hans again tomorrow. You should go."
Robin knows when he is dismissed, knows when he should push and when not so he gets up.
"It doesn't matter what you did Regina. Whatever it is, it is in the past where it belongs."
"The thing with our past Robin… it has a way of coming back and biting you in the ass."
Another one of those sad smiles and she guides him to her door. He thought what troubled her so much was what was done to her in the past but it seems it has only been the tip of the iceberg.
What did she do? What did she do that could come back and bite her in the arse?
"Thank you for listening Locksley."
"Any time Regina. See you tomorrow?
"Till tomorrow."
With that she closes the door, leaving Robin confused and heartbroken on her behalf. And with the hope that maybe someday she wouldn't kick him out after being vulnerable with him.
Neither of them sleep tonight.
Regina's head is hurting, a pounding from the moment she got up. It's not a migraine yet and she hopes it stays that way. Her side is slightly throbbing but its healing.
Yesterday had been… painful to say at least but also somewhat… relieving?
It had felt good to just talk about it with someone she trusts, to share her pain and have someone comfort her.
So as hurtful and headache-inducing it had been… it also helped. A bit.
Either way when she sees Robin today with a coffee for her in his hands she gives him a smile- a real one- and hopes he won't bring yesterday up.
No such luck though.
"Hey there. Are you alright?"
"I'm fine Robin and can we… can we not talk about it here? Please?"
He looks at her for a moment, those damn blue eyes full of concern and warmth but he eventually nods and Regina sighs in relief.
"If that's what you want milady. Here drink your coffee; you need to be ready for our pleasant chat with that bloody arse."
She takes the coffee and chuckles and thinks once again how much she likes his accent
Always had a weakness for it.
"A real sweetheart I agree. How is Roland?"
"Better, healing. Asking for you and Henry. And Ayla."
Regina grins and promises they will visit. They are having a normal conversation and its comfortable and Regina feels better- lighter. The dull pain in her head loosing somewhat.
Loosing somewhat till it returns in full blown force. Returns when Gold calls them both into his office, his face telling them something bad has happened.
Again.
"Gold what happened? Do we have another one?"
"Regina I need you to sit down." Regina becomes pale; why does he need her to sit down? If there is another murder she doesn't have to sit down she can deal with that Gold knows that. So what-
"Wait is everything alright with Henry?" There is a panic in her voice as her mind plays out every horrific scenario in which she could lose her son.
"Henry is fine. Nobody got hurt," Gold assures her quickly and both Regina and Robin start breathing again, fear preventing them from doing so.
"Then what happened? Why should Regina sit down?"
Robin sounds as worried as she feels both of them looking at Gold almost begging for answers.
"Someone destroyed your stepfather's grave yesterday Regina."
Regina's ears are ringing, her breath quickens and she feels hot.
"What?"
"The grave is destroyed. And a letter was left there. Addressed to you."
Gold hands her the paper which is still in an evidence bag but it doesn't matter Regina can read it.
She feels like she is about to throw up as her brain fully absorbs the words, when she understand the meaning of them.
How did he know? How could he know? How dare he compare them?
Regina can't breathe as she reads the words over and over again.
Dear Regina,
An eye for an eye
but mind you to avenge yourself
ain't easy as pie
Indeed a punch for a punch
or invite your foe
for a delicious
malicious lunch
to dish out revenge
and that's a dish best served cold!
You're welcome.
You understand now why I do what I do. Even if you never got the chance to make your stepfather suffer yourself.
We share the same anger, the same pain. But it will be them who will pay for their sins. Who will count to ten
And burn in hell.