Rey wondered what it said about her that the week she got attacked in a back alley ending up being one of the best ones she'd had in a while. She blamed Kylo completely though, he was just completely unwilling to let her wallow in boredom and self-pity, or just simply starve to death.
He kept showing up at her apartment almost every day with food and new movies to show her. They'd laze around all day, binge-watching all the 80's sci-fi and action movies he loved, eating ice cream and whatever delicious thing he cooked up.
After a few days, the swelling on her knuckles went down so she was able to use her hand a bit and tried to help cook, though her skills were severely lacking compared to his. Usually, he ended up chastising her for not taking it easy and pushing her back to the living room where she'd watch him. She never got tired of it.
On the third day, he started bringing his laptop with him, saying he had some work to get done. Somehow, it always ended up discarded and untouched on the counter though.
Having him over so often became surprisingly comfortable. She'd never imagined he'd be so relaxed around her, enthusiastically explaining why he loved certain scenes so much, ruffling his hair sleepily as he yawned, stealing the last bite of ice cream from the tub. There was a lovely sense of intimacy that came with spending the days with him.
Poe and Finn came to visit her as well, bringing her treats and checking up. They had yet to go on another date with Poe working every night, and though Rey offered to come back to work, he refused, saying her bruises would scare away customers. Finn sided with him, of course.
She didn't tell either of them about Kylo, feeling oddly protective of this new stage in their relationship. It felt like it was just the two of them in their own private bubble and she liked it.
Their days together were cozy and fun, but there was constantly this underlying energy vibrating between them. Rey had never felt it, but she'd never had someone like Kylo in her life before. It was like a constant awareness thrumming under her skin and it was attuned to him. He'd look at her sometimes, just randomly in the middle of a conversation or movie, and she swore that he was feeling it too.
Neither of them brought it up but Rey knew something was going to give eventually. She didn't know what was preventing her from just giving in and kissing him or addressing the fact that she was feeling something more between them. Fear of rejection? Fear of ruining what was between them? Or was she afraid he felt the same?
The night that she went to his door for the first time, she'd never anticipated liking him so much. That their relationship would become so important to her in just a few weeks. She knew she grew attached easily but before meeting Kylo, she'd never felt this swirl of emotions.
There was also the fact that while she couldn't deny she wanted Kylo in more than a platonic way, he clearly needed to focus on inner healing and facing his demons. She wasn't sure how their relationship would play into that but she wanted him to work on his mental and emotional wounds without anyone in the way.
A week after getting attacked, Rey could fully use her hand again with only the occasional twinge of pain and her bruises had faded to a lovely shade of yellow. It looked nasty but didn't hurt to touch or move her jaw anymore. To celebrate, Kylo had brought her a giant burger which she devoured and chewed with an enthusiasm that made him laugh.
She would be going back to work tomorrow, having finally convinced Poe that she was feeling up for it and that she could cover the last of her bruise with concealer so she didn't scare anyone away. Getting out of the house and going back to work sounded a lot less appealing now that it meant her days of watching movies and having Kylo to herself would come to a screeching halt.
He was over again tonight, making her watch another 80's film, this one with aliens and lots of men with guns. Rey liked to tease him about his choice in movies but she had thoroughly enjoyed almost every one he'd shown her. His favorite, a trilogy set in space with laser swords and badass spaceships, had been the best so far. They'd watched all three in one day and she'd cried when the bad guy redeemed himself in the end.
The one they were currently watching was kind of scary, with these black aliens killing everyone, and Rey found herself squeaking and covering her face as Kylo snickered at her.
Her phone vibrated on the arm of the couch and she tore her eyes away from the screen to grab it, seeing a text from Finn.
Be there in five. I need to talk to you. IMPORTANT.
She frowned at the text. Had something happened between him and Poe?
"Hey, Finn's stopping by in a few minutes," she told Kylo, who was sipping a mug of tea.
"Oh. Do you want me to-" he gestured towards the door with his head.
"No, no, of course not." She supposed now was as good of a time as any for her to tell Finn that she was spending more time with Kylo. Not that he had any say over who she spent her time with. Hopefully, he managed to refrain from interrogating him again and ruining their night.
Five minutes later, he was knocking on her door. She gave Kylo a reassuring smile as he paused the movie and went to answer it.
"Rey." Finn was inside her apartment before the door hardly even opened, bumping it with his shoulder. "I need to talk to you."
"I gathered that from the way you rushed in here," she said dryly.
"I'm serious, it's about Kylo," he said. "I figured out where I know him from!"
"Uhm, that's nice Finn." She resisted the urge to glance over her shoulder. "Actually, he's here right-"
"Is everything okay?" Kylo's voice sounded from behind her. He walked over to them hesitantly.
Finn's eyes bugged and he looked back and forth between the two of them. "What are you doing here?" he demanded rudely.
"Finn!" Rey gasped, taking a step to the side so she could see both of them. Kylo looked uncertain while Finn looked like he was on the verge of yelling. "Don't talk to him like that!"
"Oh please," he said snidely. "He's been lying to you this whole time. His name isn't even Kylo!"
Silence fell over the group and Kylo took a physical step back like he'd been struck.
"What are you talking about?" Rey asked sharply.
"That's right, Ben." Finn pointed a finger at Kylo accusingly. "I remembered where I saw you at. Whatever game you're playing at, it's done."
"Will someone please explain what's going on?" Rey demanded.
Finn spun to face her. "You remember that politician I was dating years ago? Jay? He dragged me to some fancy party to celebrate some law getting passed when we first started dating. All the state politicians were there, including Senator Leia Organa-Solo and her son, Ben."
Leia. Like Kylo's mother.
"What's he talking about?" she asked Kylo but he didn't move. He wouldn't even look at her.
"That's not even the best part!" Finn continued. "Ask me why I remember him?" He didn't even pause. "He attacked the governor, some defenseless old man! Went right up to him and punched him across the face, then just kept hitting. Security had to drag him away and everyone said he would have killed him if they hadn't pulled him off!"
"You have no idea what happened," Kylo said coldly.
"Oh really? I saw it with my own eyes!" he spat. "Deny it then! Tell Rey you haven't been lying to her, that your name isn't really Ben Solo!"
Rey was frozen, her mind racing. Kylo's real name was Ben? She remembered that day his mother was in the hall, when she pulled out the piece of paper to read his name off of it.
He'd said he had to leave home and disappear, perhaps changing his name was part of that. It would explain why it had taken his mother so long to find him.
When Kylo said nothing, Finn stalked up to him. "You need to leave. You're dangerous and I won't let you hurt her."
"You don't know anything," Kylo said lowly, shoving past him. He didn't look at Rey as he opened the door.
"Wait, Kylo!" Rey tried to grab his arm but he dodged her. Their eyes met for a brief second and she saw the devastation in them.
Then he disappeared into the hall, slamming the door behind him.
"I told you something was up with him," Finn hissed. "Good riddance, he'd better hope he doesn't-"
"What is wrong with you?" Rey exclaimed, interrupting him.
Surprise filled his face. "What's wrong with me? What are you talking about?"
"Storming in here and accusing him of all these things like he's a criminal!"
"Accusing him of things I saw him do with my own two eyes." he defended, looking stunned.
"Without the whole story! You have no idea what he's been through," she growled.
"What he's-" Finn cut himself off, shaking his head in disbelief. "Rey, he's dangerous! He should probably be in prison right now! He almost killed someone."
She glared at him icily. "Did you forget the things we've done? We've both had to do horrible things when we were backed into a corner. Did you forget that I should probably be in prison too? I don't see you calling me dangerous."
His face turned ashy. They didn't often speak of the things they'd had to do to survive. "That's different. We had no choice, you had no choice-"
"Maybe he didn't either," she hissed. "You have no idea what he's had to deal with!"
"Oh yeah, I'm sure the life of a senator's son was really difficult," he scoffed.
"Don't you dare," she snarled. "Don't you dare stand here and spew that judgemental bullshit. Not to me."
"Rey-" he started but she cut him off.
"You need to leave." She opened the door to let him out. "I know you mean well but I need you to go. We can talk later when we've both calmed down."
He started to protest, swallowing down his words when she leveled a glare at him. He hesitantly made his way out the door, turning around to say something but she closed it in his face. She heard him walk away after a second.
Rey leaned against the wall, letting out a breath. What the fuck was happening?
Okay, so Kylo was actually named Ben. It was a surprise, she wasn't going to lie, but if he was trying to leave his life behind without being found, that was the first logical step. She might have done the same if she was worried anyone would bother to look for her.
He'd also attacked someone. She knew he wouldn't have done it without a reason, knew he wasn't dangerous and would never hurt her. His reasons were his own and he didn't owe her an explanation. She hadn't told him all she'd done in her past, things that still shamed her even though she knew they were necessary. Though she wanted to say violence was never the answer, she had lived in this world long enough to know that was just naive. Anyone who could say that were fortunate to never be put in a position to really question it.
The way Kylo had fled though, the look on his face. He had assumed the worst and she couldn't blame him.
She needed to go make things right.
Stomping out into the hallway, barefoot and in pajama shorts, she headed straight for his door and pounded on it.
"Kylo. Open the door," she called, knowing he could hear her. She paused but the door remained firmly shut. "I'm going to stand out here and just keep knocking until you let me in. I'll stand out here all night if I have to!"
She pounded on the door, ignoring the twinge in her hand. "I mean it, if you think I'm kidding-"
The door flew open.
"What?" he demanded, stumbling backward when she shoved her way into his apartment.
"We are going to talk about this!" she declared, closing the door behind her.
He took several steps back, putting some distance between them.
"What's there to talk about? Your friend obviously knows everything, why bother talking to me?" She could hear the hurt and fear in his voice.
"Because you're my friend! Stop acting like a child and talk to me. That's what friends do."
"Oh please," he sneered. "You can stop pretending I'm not just another pity project for you. I'm just another stray you've decided to take him so everyone can see how kind and amazing you are! I'm no different from that fucking cat!"
"Is that actually what you think? That I just feel sorry for you?" Rey was shocked, her heart heavy in her chest. "You must know that's not true."
"I don't know what to think," he said. "You and me, it doesn't make sense. People like you don't waste their time on people like me."
"What are you talking about?" Rey said frustratedly. "Why are you trying so hard to ruin this?"
"Didn't you hear Finn? I'm a liar and I hurt people. We both know I'm no good for you!" Kylo ran his hand through his hair, letting out a cold laugh. "Jesus Rey, why are you even here after that?"
"Because I don't care!" she shouted, surprising both of them. "I don't care who you were, or where you came from, or what you did. You don't owe me an explanation of your past and if I can't accept that, then I don't deserve to be your friend. You're Kylo to me and I care about you, dammit."
He stared at her like she was insane and spouting pure jibberish. "How? How can you not care?"
"Because I know you," she whispered, taking a step forward. "I know who you are on the inside. There's light and hope inside of you and it's beautiful and it's sad. You're a good person and no matter how much you try to hide it, I see it. I see you, Kylo."
Emotions warred on his face. Heartbreak, devastation, sadness, hope.
"Why do you have to make this so hard? Why do you have to be so fucking good all of the time?" Frustration colored his voice but the way he was looking at her made something hot curl in her stomach. "Rey. I can't- I shouldn't-"
Then he moved, closing the gap between them.
Slipping a hand back to twine in her hair, he tilted her face up. His lips meet hers, swallowing her gasp of surprise.
Kylo kissed her desperately, his mouth hot against hers. He kissed her like he'd been holding himself back for weeks, like he thought he'd never get to again.
Her mind went blank. She'd been dreaming of this for so long, wringing out every ounce of restraint she had in her. And here she was, being kissed like she'd never been before, a kiss that tasted of pure passion and need.
Fuck restraint.
Rey moaned, gripping his arms and opening her mouth to the slick slide of his tongue, tasting the sweet honey of his tea on him. Her shoulders bumped into the door as he pressed her into it, his huge frame ingulfing hers.
His hands slid down her back, fingers brushing where her top had ridden up, sending shivers up her spine. They left trails of fire as he followed the curve of her ass, down to the hem of her shorts and the bare skin of her thighs.
She wiggled against him, wanting, needing to be closer.
Suddenly, he gripped the back of her thighs, lifting her up and pressing her against the wood of the door.
She gasped and he took advantage of it, thrusting his tongue into her mouth, tasting her like he couldn't get enough. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she could feel the power in his arms and in his body, holding her up so she could reach him better.
Fuck, that was hot.
She ground against him, feeling his erection through his jeans and he moaned against her lips, the sound traveling straight to her core. Jesus, she wanted him so bad.
"Rey," he whispered against her mouth, pulling away to look at her, to make sure she was okay. His lips were sinfully pink and swollen and the look in his eyes almost undid her.
Feeling bold, she reached down and pull off her shirt, leaving her in just a white lace bra. He took her in, looking at her like she was a goddess. Like he wanted to devour her. And god, did she want him to.
"Touch me," she rasped and his eyes turned molten.
One of his hands moved to her waist, sliding up torturously slowly. Her skin was fucking electric where he touched and she whimpered needily, hips grinding against his.
Finally, his huge hand covered her breast, thumb brushing against her nipple through the lace of her bra in a teasing touch. Pure heat twisted in her stomach and Rey could feel how wet and ready she was for him just from this.
Sinking her hands into his thick, soft hair, hair she'd wanted to touch since the first time she saw him, she pulled his mouth back to hers. Their kiss was rough and needy, but his hands were gentle.
Rey broke away from his lips only to yank desperately at his shirt.
He smirked as he pulled his over his head, hands immediately going back to her body, touching her just right. The one supporting her slid under the hem of her shorts, gripping the bare skin of her ass, pulling her firmly against him.
Leaning in, she kissed her way down his neck, hands roaming over the smooth firmness of his chest. She licked a hot trail down his neck, to where it met his shoulder and she nipped sharply.
He gasped her name, hips thrusting against hers, pressing into her just right.
"Fuck, Kylo," she moaned, throwing her head back and clutching at his shoulders desperately. He was so hard, she could feel his cock throbbing against her.
Bending his dark head down, he kissed and licked across her chest. His mouth sealed hotly over her breast, tongue curling around her nipple through the thin white lace and she cried out.
Rey didn't care if he took her against this door right now, she wanted him inside her. All the weeks of tension and wanting had built up inside her and she needed him more than she'd ever needed anything.
"Please," she muttered breathily. "Kylo, please."
"Anything you want," he whispered against her skin.
She opened her mouth to tell him exactly just what she wanted when a loud ringing broke through the sound of their panting.
Kylo stiffened against her. "Ignore it," he mumbled, reaching back to pull his phone out of his pocket and threw it down the hall. Rey bit back a bubble of laughter.
They reached for each other, mouths just grazing, when his phone stopped then immediately started ringing again.
His rested his head on the wall behind her shoulder. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."
"It's fine, go answer it," Rey said, biting her lip to stifle her giggles.
"No," he muttered stubbornly, pressing a hot kiss between her breasts.
It started ringing for the third time.
Kylo groaned, letting go out her thigh and stepping back so she could disentangle herself from him, leaning against the wall on quivering knees. Stomping down the hall, he snatched up his phone, cutting it off mid-ring.
"What the fuck do you want, Hux?" he snarled into the phone and Rey almost died. Of course, it was Hux.
"Yes, I'm busy. What do you want?"
Kylo listened for a second, scowling furiously. Rey might have been more annoyed if she didn't get to enjoy the sight of him shirtless. No man had any right to a body like that, it was pure sin.
"Listen Hux, that's great but I'm really in the middle of something." He glanced at where she was still standing, shirtless and flushed against his door. She could see his eyes darken from where she was standing before he tore his gaze away.
"I know," he sighed. "Does it have to be right now? Won't they reschedule? Yes, I know it's my fucking book but do I have to be there? Can't you represent me or something?"
Apparently, Hux's reply was not the one he wanted to hear. "You have no idea how much I hate you right now," he growled into the phone. "I'll be there in twenty minutes."
Rey was already grabbing her shirt from the floor as he hung up the phone.
"Business calls?" she asked lightly, her voice husky with arousal.
"A publishing company wants to meet with me about my book. Tonight." His expression was frustrated and apologetic.
"That sounds like a big deal." She was excited for him but probably would have been a little more ecstatic if she wasn't currently turned on beyond belief and fighting the urge to fling herself at him.
"I wouldn't go if it wasn't-"
"You don't have to explain, I get it." And she really did, she wasn't upset. Especially not with his eyes smoldering into her own, telling her just how much he wished he didn't have to leave.
They stared at each other in silence for a second. What was she supposed to say after that? Thanks for the hottest make-out session of my life, sorry you didn't fuck me against the door but I'll just go now. Oh, and if you hear me touching myself in bed later, just ignore it.
"We can talk tomorrow... If you're still planning on coming to the cafe?" she said instead, slipping her shirt over her head.
"I'll be there," he responded, grabbing his own shirt from where it lay in a crumpled heap.
"Okay. Tomorrow then." Rey opened the door to let herself out, glancing over her shoulder one last time. His expression was pained and uncertain as he watched her go.
She couldn't just leave him like that.
Spinning around, she rushed back to him, seeing the surprise on his face as she stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him down a little.
He gripped her waist as she kissed him gently, trying to tell him that everything was okay. More than okay.
Pulling away before it got too intense, she took a deep breath. Kylo looked a little stunned, his pupils huge and dark.
"Tomorrow," she whispered with a grin, stepping out of his hold.
She didn't look back when she left this time.
Well, that went from zero to one hundred pretty quickly... hormones, am I right? *awkward laugh* I didn't really have a plan for when their first kiss was going to be but they were fighting and Rey got all emotional and then suddenly I was writing this big make-out scene. I blame Kylo and Rey. Hope you guys like it, writing dirty scenes are definitely something I'm not super confident with but I did my best *shrugs* Love you guys!