Chapter 27

March 10th, 1977

Dorcas Meadowes panted for air while grasping onto the armrests of her chair. Either she needed to stop smoking, or she was actually tired now. After a few moments of oxygen flow, she looked up to Max McKinnon. "Can we take a break… now?"

Max, who was leaning against a desk, loosened the top two buttons to his shirt. "Sure," he said, a bit groggily.

If the setting had been more romantic, maybe somewhere out on a nice beach, or if he had not been penetrating her mind, Dorcas would have been thoroughly pleased by the sight. However, right now, she was more interested in the cup of water.

Dorcas finished the cup in three heavy gulps. This session was exceptionally harder than the last. She decided that he must've been taking it easy on her last week. Max fiddled through her mind like it was filing cabinet, picking out some of the most terrible images.

The last one was of her mum drowning in the canal. Her mum, still beautiful in her agony, was still as a statue as she let herself get crushed by water. That was when she was eleven years old. She hadn't thought about that in months.

So, Dorcas did what she always did to relax. She reached for a cigarette.

"Oh, C'mon, Dorcas," grumbled Max, "That's real bad for your health. You have read the muggle science reports on it, haven't you?"

Dorcas gave him an unamused look as she lit the cig with her wand. "You know what's also unhealthy?" She asked dully. "This."

"You-Know-Who does not care about your health," Max countered, pouring her another glass of water.

"And truthfully, right now, nor do I," she huffed. She let out a big cloud, separating herself from the professor.

"He would be able to get into your mind right now, while you're busy smoking instead of protecting your brain."

"He's the fucking arsehole of the entire magical world! He has Europe at its knees, so he probably has better things to be doing than trying to get into my head!"

Max sighed. "Unfortunately, Dorcas," he said in a calm voice, "he does not think he does… LIGILMENS!"

Dorcas was a smart girl. She should've seen that one coming.

"Fight it!" Max demanded.

But truthfully, Dorcas was too tired at this moment too fight. The last vision was too painful. So, Max took on full reign.

Like a slideshow, Max sorted through some of Dorcas' darkest memories. He made her re-live moments throughout her childhood that she was doing such a good job at suppressing. Her therapist would've been pleased, in some sort of way.

After a while, Max veered away from the pain and abuse in her childhood and moved onto something more current: Hogwarts, her sort-of safe haven. Although she never really had friends here either because she was the only muggle-born to be sorted into her house for more than a century, she felt safer here than at home.

Dorcas made friends here. Emma, her dear gold digger of a companion. For five and a half years, Dorcas couldn't have done Hogwarts without Emma. Even through her endless loads of sarcasm and abnormal amounts of self-preservation, Emma still looked at for Dorcas during their younger years of Hogwarts. But, like everyone else in her life, Emma left too.

"Stop," Dorcas murmured, dizzy from the pain.

"Fight me, Dorcas," Max demanded.

Max went further, coaxing Dorcas to fight back. He found something even more intimate than her first friendship. He picked out true friendship, companionship.

It was the time that Remus had found Dorcas sleeping out by the Black Lake. The time where they touched and were so close together. It had been a long time since she had felt safe with someone.

"Max," she said with a strained voice.

That wasn't the only memory of Remus though. The Mentor also reminded her the time that Remus and Dorcas first really chatted. It was back at the McKinnon New Year's Eve party. They were sitting outside under the stars, getting slightly tipsy together. It was peaceful, and yes, Dorcas enjoyed the way Remus looked at her, even then.

"Stop it," Dorcas hissed, now trying to push against Max's mental intrusion. He couldn't see this.

"So, this is who you were chatting up before me, aye?" Max asked. "I knew he was looking at you funny that night."

Max switched the scenario again. Suddenly, Dorcas was scolding Remus, explaining to him why she couldn't forgive him. She had to keep her secrets safe, and now that she trusted them with someone else, she was vulnerable.

Remus made her vulnerable.

"Doesn't seem like too bad of a bloke, aye?" Max asked, now just being an entire prick. "Smart kid, for sure."

"ENOUGH!" Dorcas demanded. A gush of wind pushed Max away from Dorcas, just enough to break their mental connection. She nearly collapsed back into her seat while he grabbed onto the ledge of the nearby table. They both took deep breaths, just staring at each other.

"Good job," Max muttered, breathing heavily.

Dorcas wanted to curse him out, and he probably could infer that. But, she kept it to herself. She was officially too tired now. She reached down for that second cup of water that he had left by the chair.

"I'm sorry for doing that," Max said honestly. "Nothing is too intimate for Him. Learning occulemency is a hard art for someone like you."

When she finished her cup, she repeated, "someone like me?"

"Someone who has so many negative memories."

"Ah."

"But," he added, with some hope. "If you continue to focus on the concept of being a blank slate, there will be nothing for you-know-who to read. It's hard, but you seem like a smart enough girl."

"How'd you learn this?" Dorcas asked. "How'd you get so good at ligilemency and occulemency?"

Max thought for a moment, searching for the words. "Well, aren't some people naturally harder for you to read than others?" He asked rhetorically. "I'm naturally harder, apparently."

Dorcas grimaced at the bad joke that was hard to ignore.

"Grow up, Meadowes. I'm sure you encounter this on a regular basis. I'm actually fascinated in how you hear people's thoughts."

Dorcas shrugged, "Don't really know. Some people sound like static, others are like the radio. But, there are rare few that are just silent, dead silent. It's creepy in a way, but relaxing. Everyone used to be silent before I kind of took my wall down."

"Your wall?"

"Yes, a wall. I know literal and figurative. I kept a part of my brain trained to go only a certain height, if you will, before I knocked it out down. It was much easier back then to, let me tell you that."

"Why'd you knock it down?"

Dorcas paused. She looked down at her feet. "Paranoia."

"Paranoia is what you need to forget about if you want to learn occulumency." Max pulled a chair out to face her and plopped down. He prepared himself as if setting up a Quidditch play to his team. "Occulmency is weird. You have to forget about paranoia because you have to be sure in your memories and thoughts."

"Sure?"

"Confidence and trust in your memories - and in a way, yourself – is key. You have to learn to be so sure in your personhood that you can compartmentalize events and feelings. You'll be a blank slate, and thus, unreadable."

Dorcas blinked a few times. That was a lot to process in her groggy mind. "How do you expect me to do that, Max?" She asked. "You know, with all my negative memories and whatnot? Because, Merlin, I thought I was good at compartmentalization. My therapist used to always compliment my ego defenses."

"Dorcas, Dorcas," Max chuckled. He smiled at her, a rather giddy one that made her want to break his jaw. "You're remarkably talented at compartmentalizing your emotions. I mean, look at you and Lupin."

"Can we not go there?" She asked reasonably. "That's too weird."

"If you can somehow emulate whatever you're doing with that poor lad into your compartmentalization skills, Love, you will have the Great Wall of Occulmens."

Dorcas did not like the implications of that at all.

March 11th, 1977

Marlene McKinnon walked to Potions alone from the tower that Friday morning. Lily was already out of bed for an early morning prefect meeting, and the other girls had gone to breakfast. She enjoyed the walk alone as she hummed "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."

"Lovely, lovely, lovely," a voice said from behind.

Without looking back, Marlene said to Sirius Black, "Merlin, you're creepy."

"Some call it observant," Sirius said, catching up to the blond.

"Or creepy."

"You know that I'm not trying to be, right?" He asked. They slowed down as they approached the dungeon. "I'm just merely listening to your lovely vocal cords. I really would fancy the chance to hear you sing, privately."

Marlene scoffed, "In your wildest dreams."

"Wettest, Darling."

She made a disgusted noise, while Sirius just laughed, "All right. Too far, too far. But, I am interested in one thing."

"Oh?" She asked, trying to appear blank.

"Go on a date with me, McKinnon."

"I beg your pardon?"

"A date," Sirius said simply. "We hold hands. I compliment you. You compliment me. We perhaps shag at the end. Ah, we can even go to that pink frilly café that all the birds like to go."

Marlene raised her eyebrows. "Madam Pudifoot's?" She asked, surprised that he even knew the business.

"Yes, precisely."

"Black, if you intend on taking me there on a date, you must be out of your damn mind," she said firmly.

Sirius smiled, the crooked one. "See, this is going to be fantastic. We already have the same schedule."

She rolled her eyes and leaned against the wall with the other Potions students. "I didn't say yes."

"You didn't say no, either."

Marlene thought of a very good rebuttal, but instead kept quiet as another thought ran through her mind. She had to remind herself that this was all a game, and for the past several days, she's been avoiding the game entirely. Ignoring the other opponent seemed like the best way to win, especially against Sirius. To truly win the game, she had to play the game.

So, she could break his heart and ego in the end.

"Fair point," she nodded solemnly. "When and where?"

Sirius looked at her as if she had suddenly grown another eye in the middle of her forehead. "Pardon?"

"You asked me on a date, Sirius," she said simply. "You don't have any details?" She played into it, adding a tone of surprise at the end.

The boy scoffed. "I have many details," he countered, standing a little straighter now. "How about we meet by the gate together, say around 1?"

Marlene smiled lightly. "Perfect."

"Perfect," Sirius nodded.

The two Gryffindors wrapped up their conversation just as Professor Slughorn opened the doors for his NEWTs to enter. Sirius and Marlene split up as he went to sit behind Remus and Peter while she with Dorcas.

"You look pleased," Dorcas muttered, eyeing her friend's fiendish expression.

"Don't you just love when you put men in their place?" Marlene sighed as she pulled out her notebooks.

Dorcas raised an eyebrow, not quite sure what she meant. But, she didn't have the time to ask since Professor Slughorn decided to prompt with his lesson today.

The pudgy professor started calling out surnames in a hurried fashion. Everyone was accounted for except two rather prominent students. "Where are Miss Evans and Mr. Potter?" The professor asked.

"Right here!"

The ginger came dashing in the room and apologized for her lateness. "I'm sorry, just ran to get some breakfast after a meeting," she explained hurriedly before taking an empty desk in the back.

"Breakfast is the most important part of a meal," agreed Professor Slughorn.

Lily put up a hand to inform the teacher of the correct saying, but decided against it and just pulled out her notebook instead.

"Now," Professor Slughorn sighed, "it seems we are just missing Mr. Potter- well, fancy that."

The dark-haired boy ran into class, out of breath. He bowed his head in apology and was about to sit in the adjacent empty desk besides Lily.

"Mr. Potter, can you sit next to Miss Evans today? We're going to do a practical lab today on concoting Amortenia."

The room went silent, so everyone could hear Sirius' muffled chuckle under his breath.

James, on the other hand, was far from amused. He looked down at Lily, who was blushing profusely and refusing to make eye contact, and mumbled, "Sure."

As if he were sitting next to an enlarged beetle, James slowly removed his bags to sit beside Lily Evans. He refused to look at her, just as she had done to him. He made sure to keep a good distance so that not even their sleeves would touch.

Professor Slughorn explained the guidelines for his pupils; listing the ingredients and the purpose. He revealed that their partners would be the ones beside them. Many of the female students were rather tantalized by the prospect, especially the lovesick Irina Allen who sat next to Sirius.

It was James' turn to chuckle.

"All right, grab your ingredients," instructed the Professor. He motioned to the glass cabinet and said, "Create, my students!"

Lily and James looked at each other for moment, neither one willing to be first. For a while, the professor thought that they were just going to stare into each other's eyes all day. That's one way to teach a love potions lesson.

Lily cleared her throat and said, "I can get the ingredients while you start the heating process."

James shook his head. "You're better at Potions by far," he said while standing up, "I'll go fetch the ingredients." He left without another word.

Although he had a point, Lily couldn't help but feel defeated with James. She watched as he walked away before noticing Dorcas's and Marlene's staring. She gave them a stern look, signifying stop.

The two other girls exchanged glances. Marlene gave Lily an encouraging look and mouthed, 'Talk to him.'

'Sod off,' Lily retorted silently.

Marlene sighed as Dorcas chuckled before they returned to their own work.

As Lily set-up the cauldron, James returned with a basket full of ingredients. She looked down and was impressed by how well he chose his ingredients. During practical lessons, Lily would always make sure to get the most fresh looking ingredients (as long as the recipe called for it).

"Are they acceptable?" He asked tersely.

Lily nodded, "Yes, very much so."

They chopped and sliced in silence, both doing a fine job. Even Professor Slughorn commended them on their no nonsense and silent work ethic. "You two ought to work together more," he said. "Evans, you help Potter focus, in comparison to Black."

James smirked at that but said nothing as he continued crushing the pearls.

"Thanks, Professor," Lily said awkwardly.

Their professor left them to finish their work in relative peace. However, the two did not speak another word. They continued their chopping, shaving, and crushing independently, neither one knowing what to say.

When the time came, James took the job of stirring the mixture while Lily added the ingredients at the perfect time. She dropped everything with great care and delicacy, allowing the aroma to waft through the air.

"What does it smell like to you?" Lily asked.

James looked down at her, noticing that she watched the ingredients fall with intent. She couldn't meet his eyes, at least not yet. "Why does it matter?" He asked, trying his best to remain cold. Truthfully, he was more curious than cold.

"It doesn't," Lily clarified. "I'm just curious."

James bent down to sniff the potion a little bit. So far, it didn't smell like anything in particular, just the ingredients. "It's supposed to remind you of the one you love, right? I got nothing," he said.

Lily shrugged. There was a bit of a smirk at the end. "It doesn't necessarily mean love," she explained, dropping a few rose thorns at a slow pace.

He raised an eyebrow. "Then what does it mean?"

"It means the one you're attracted to," Lily said, wiping her hands of the thorns. She looked up at him with those big round eyes.

Something had changed in the green orbs. Even in their best moments, Lily always had a glint of displeasure or anger hidden in her eyes when talking to him. Even when she snogged him that night in the stairwell, Lily looked as if she wanted to beat him while doing it. Shit, he might've let her beat him then.

Now, Lily's eyes looked as calm as an oasis pond. They were clear and full of purpose. It made him feel like he was under a spotlight, especially when she looked him up and down.

"Mine smells like fresh morning dew, a garden of flowers, and … " she leaned over to sniff the cauldron again. She pushed a piece of hair behind her ear and looked up at him before saying, "sweat."

James chuckled. "Seriously? Your romantic fantasy is sweat?"

Lily just gave a slight shrug. "It doesn't have to make sense, does it? Like it didn't have to make sense when I told you those that shite about not speaking again."

He closed his eyes. So, this is where she was going with all that Amortenia talk. Honestly, James should've known better. Lily Evans always had an angle. "I'm not up for this," he said simply.

"Just hear me out," Lily said, her voice close to pleading. "You don't have to speak, just listen."

James decided to do just that, because the other choice was curse her out right there in the classroom. He just kept stirring.

Lily reached out for the dust and tapped it in delicately. "I said those things because I was scared. I wanted to blame you for my guilt, and that's not right. It's just that everything has been so confusing lately. For a while, I blamed it on Connor. I genuinely thought that I needed time away from boys, in general. Not that you're just a boy. But, you get what I mean."

James wanted to ask what he had meant by that, but instead chose silence. He thought it was even cute to watch Lily ramble.

"The truth of the matter," Lily said, setting down the cup of pearl dust, "is that I didn't need time away from boys. I was using time to get myself away from you."

He waited for her to go on.

"I've now tried to do anything and everything to keep myself away from you," She added, with a chuckle. "And it's ruddy pointless because here I am, next you, literally making the world strongest love drug. If that's not a damn sign than I don't know what is."

James kept stirring, because now he was speechless. Not for some important reason but simply because words would just not form in his voice box. Nothing came out.

Lily cocked an eyebrow. "James, you can stop stirring now," she reminded.

James' hand stopped its circular motions. He rested the ladle on the side of the cauldron and wiped his chin.

"Does it smell like anything yet?" Lily asked, her voice becoming a little more cautious now. She leaned down to blow out the fire below.

James sniffed the waves of heat. It reminded him of New Year's, like the rose champagne he had at New Year's. He also got a whiff of something musty, like old parchment. And lastly, there was a slight tree smell. Perhaps it was an evergreen.

"Champagne, parchment, and trees," James listed.

Lily shrugged, "Sounds like a good time. I mean, Sirius would be champagne but I don't see the rest."

James chuckled at the poor joke. He couldn't help himself despite its lackluster delievery.

"I know I said you don't have to speak," Lily said after a moment. "But, maybe we can speak again… soon?"

The boy didn't have time to answer, not that he had one at the ready. He was interrupted by their Professor, whom came over to congratulate them for making an excellent brew.

"Well done," Professor Slughorn clapped. "You two did quite the job. You finished promptly too."

"Thank you," Lily nodded.

"Well, class will be ending. Why don't you put it in a vial, and then clean-up your station? You can leave a little early then."

The two exchanged glances. James watched as Lily broke first and began clearing up the ingredients. She left James with the vial, which he poured carefully. He left it on their station, writing 'Evans & Potter' on the plaque card so Slughorn would remember their work.

Although his handwriting was shite, James did enjoy the way their names looked together. There was something classic about their surnames. He really liked the idea of both of them being written as Potter, but that was a fantasy that was too outlandish for even him.

But, there was always a middle ground.

James watched as Lily swung her knapsack over her shoulder. He wanted to hate her, because it was the easiest choice. The choice with the least amount of baggage to deal with. But, maybe he was into baggage. Sure, he appreciated the way the baggage looked, but dealing with the baggage was headache inducing. And ruddy smart. And undeniably stubborn. And clever.

And beautiful.

Who the fuck was he kidding?

As they left the dungeon, Lily turned back to him. "I'm going to wait for Marlene- Potter, why are you grabbing at me?"

James was never a pushy guy when it came to women, at least not physically. But, right now, he was all hormones and zero mind. He took Lily by the wrist and over to a large tapestry. He double checked to make sure that no one was in the hall before pulling Lily behind it.

James took her face into both of his hands and pressed his lips against her desperately. Now, if he had any doubt about her enthusiasm, she immediately squashed that. To James' surprise, Lily wrapped her arms around his neck and let her lips open slightly. She released a moan as James slid his tongue into her mouth, letting him finally explore her lovely mouth.

They parted briefly, only to catch their breaths. "So, no talking, aye?" She panted, her lips swollen from sucking.

"No talking," James agreed, pulling her closer again. He pulled her by the waist and began sucking on her neck. She crooned softly, holding him close. Her fingernails dug into the cotton of his shirt, demanding his intimacy.

Lily knew for a fact that she was going to have black-and-blue where James sucked, but she didn't mind. It felt like heaven as he nibbled and soothed all at the same time. When it became too much, she dragged James back to kiss him again. She appreciated the noise he made when sucked on his lower lip.

As if she held life-or-death medication, James began tearing at her robes. He un-tucked her blouse so that he could have access to her smooth skin. He smirked into their kiss when she shivered at his touch.

"Ooh," Lily sighed, letting her head loll back. He began sucking her neck again.

James' hands slid all the way up to her covered breasts. Now, James Potter was bold but normally, he didn't have his hands up a bird's shirt unless they at least had a door or a wall separating them. But, the way that she was moaning compelled him not give a damn.

"J-James," she whined.

And that was it. Yep, that's all it took. His first name. Now, he had to fuck her right here against this wall.

James squeezed a breast tightly, eliciting a soft gasp from Lily. Her eyes blinked open as James removed his mouth from her neck. He was about to rip the damn thing but then he heard the Professor's voice boom. He was asking the students to leave, since Sirius and Irina had caused a momentary explosion.

Lily gulped, and James removed himself from her. She peeked out while fixing her robes.

James saw the back of her neck and took the opportunity to see what other spots made her moan. He licked the back of her neck and shivered. She let out a tiny groan too before turning back to pushing him off.

James watched her, aghast. Now, the bird was truly out of his mind. He watched as she fixed her knapsack and walked out from the tapestry, to join the rest of the students.

"Are you bloody kidding me?" He grumbled.

And she may or may not have heard, but either way, Lily turned around. She gave him a wink and a shy smile before joining the crowd of flustered students.

James rubbed the back of his neck. "Huh."

A/N - Hehe. Cackle cackle. Hardy Ha. I've been waiting for this moment desperately. Let me know your thoughts: review, favorite, follow, or PM.

ROSE