Hello, my wonderful readers. At long last, we finally check back in with Tsukki. But how will things pan out from here?

Lunar Eclipse

Chapter Eighteen

The first emotion Amaya Tsukishima felt standing behind her son's hospital room door was fear. It crept from her chest into her throat, squeezing it shut as her memory flooded with the recent images of Akiteru's lifeless body laying atop a cold metal slab in the morgue. She felt like she couldn't breathe. He's alive, she reminded herself, This isn't the same situation at all. Kei is alive. Even so, she was afraid he would look like he was dead, and that would be enough to trigger the trauma that had been racing around her head since the grisly image first took hold in her mind.

She just had to look for the clues, that's all - visible, tangible facts to anchor herself to the reality that her son was alive, that Kei had not been swallowed by the same endless, oppressive darkness that had taken Akiteru. Things like... a heart monitor. He'd definitely be connected to one, and it would show her that her son's heart was still beating steadily inside his chest. That was it. Whenever she felt scared, overwhelmed by Akiteru's loss, she would look at the heart monitor, and it would give her hope.

When the doctor opened the door in front of her, Amaya braced herself for what she might see. As the door slowly revealed more and more of her son's room, she felt her mind quickly devour the information it presented to her. Kei was lying in the hospital bed unconscious and almost completely motionless, the only exception the slow and steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed evenly and mechanically. He was covered in tubes and wires, the most obvious one leading from his mouth to a ventilator in the corner next to the right side of his head. There was second one, from his chest this time, leading from the right side of his rib cage to a canister on the floor. The rest were IV lines, leading from Kei's wrist to multiple bags of what Amaya could only assume were the drugs keeping her little boy alive. Lastly, he was also connected to a heart monitor, set up near the left side of the bed, keeping in perfect sync with Kei's fragile heartbeat.

Hospital equipment aside, Kei looked like death warmed over. His skin had the pale and delicate appearance of tissue paper, and even though he'd been admitted for less than half a day he looked somehow thinner, smaller than he seemed when he was lounging around at home or jumping to block a powerful spike. It was like he was being swallowed up after all - swallowed by the massive amount of hospital equipment necessary just for him to be here and breathing.

Amaya listened to the mechanical sound of the ventilator, caught somewhere between a whoosh and a hiss, listened as it synced with the steady beeping of the heart monitor, and for the umpteenth time that night, began to weep. She wept for how breakable human beings were. She wept for how easily she lost someone she loved with all her heart. She wept for all the painful, agonizing days and restless, sleepless nights she had in her future. She wept for how long it would take her and her family to recover from the bomb blast that shattered their lives like tiny shards of glass. She wept for all the pain she would watch Kei experience over these coming weeks, even months, and how much she wished she could simply take it all on herself, and spare the little boy who was so precious to her. She was so wrapped up inside her own head, she didn't notice Ukai, Sugawara, and Yamaguchi enter the room behind her.

"Tsukki..." Yamaguchi mumbled as he brought his hands to his mouth, just in time to catch the tears that fell from his eyes. He had never seen his best friend in such a weakened state. The image of Kei Tsukishima in Yamaguchi's mind was one of strength - cool, calm, the smartest guy in the room, and always ready to face anyone who threatened either of their comfort zones with a snide comment and a well-timed smirk. Even when Tsukki got hurt in the Shiratorizawa game, he put on a face for the team and dealt with it - he even played better than ever when he got back onto the court. Tsukki wasn't a weakling; Tsukki was strong. Yamaguchi had never seen his best friend look so... frail.

Sugawara's first emotion upon seeing Tsukishima's unconscious form, contrary to expectation, was relief. The last mental image he had of his teammate was one covered in blood and gasping for air. Seeing him now, despite the fact that he was covered in hospital equipment and barely alive, was calming, because it meant that he was stable. For the first time, Sugawara had reconciled with himself, at least a little bit. Kei Tsukishima would not die today. Now, he was sure.

Ukai felt like he had been coasting all night, and now he had finally come down to earth with the rise of the morning sun. He didn't have quite the emotional connection to Tsukishima that Yamaguchi or Amaya had, and he hadn't seen the incident like Sugawara. He felt like somehow it wasn't real, that since he hadn't actually seen anything, he felt that he had probably gotten through the night by subconsciously believing that everything was fine. But seeing Tsukishima barely alive in a hospital bed had opened his eyes in a way. This was real. Somehow, he believed his naivete had saved him.

As Amaya stood silently at the foot of the bed, the doctor came up beside her and, seeing that she was upset, put his hand on her shoulder. Without looking at him, Amaya spoke.

"Please tell me... I... I need to know..." Understanding completely, the doctor explained, starting from the top.

"The bullet entered his body at a downward angle on the right side of his rib cage. It broke his seventh rib upon entry, and became lodged in his liver, where we found it. The force the bullet released upon breaking the rib sent shards of bone into his liver and his right lung, puncturing it, causing it to partially collapse and fill with blood. We removed the bullet and pieces of bone from his liver, removed the pieces of bone from his lung, and repaired as much of the damage as we could."

"...God..."

"Right now, the ventilator is breathing for him. We'll keep an eye on him over the next few hours and we'll remove the ventilator once we're sure his lungs can stand on their own. He also has a chest tube filtering out whatever air and blood remains between his lung and the inner wall of his chest. That could stay in place anywhere from a few days to a week, depending on how long he needs it. Lastly, we also put him on several IVs. One is a blood transfusion to help him bounce back from all the blood he lost, another is an antibiotic to help ward off any post-op infections, another is morphine to help with his pain, and the last is a sedative to keep him unconscious until it's safe to wake him up."

"Until it's safe to... You mean you're keeping him under?"

"For the time being, yes. Generally, if a patient's on a ventilator, we keep them unconscious at least until it's safe enough to remove it, to avoid the panic of waking up to having a tube stuck down your throat. In his case, since he's just undergone a very delicate and risky procedure, we'll keep him under for another twenty-four hours. This will give us time to see how well his body is recovering and be ready in case there's an emergency, and it also lets him sleep through a little bit of the pain."

"My little baby..." As she listened blindly to the doctor's explanation, Amaya absent-mindedly made her way around to the side of her son's bed and reached out to take his hand, suddenly stopping herself. She looked up at the doctor and gave him a questioning look.

"Of course," he replied, understanding the question held in her gaze, "It might help him to know you're here."

Amaya took Kei's hand gently inside her own, feeling the soft warmth of his skin. The sensation flooded her body with an immense feeling of relief. Kei was alive and he was there - right in front of her eyes. She could feel the life pulsing inside him with her own two hands.

"Kei..." she began, pausing every so often to breathe through her tears, "I know you're scared, baby... and I know you're in a lot of pain... but Mommy's gonna be right here by your side, okay? Because you're my son, and I love you." She folded her arms on the edge of her son's hospital bed, burying herself in their embrace. Sleep tugged on the backs of her eyelids with a strength she could never hope to overcome. The constant level of high-intensity emotion she'd been forced to put out all night had finally caught up to her with the morning's sunrise. She was so exhausted...

Amaya was startled awake by a hand on her shoulder. Her eyes snapped open, fearful of how much time had passed. When she lifted her head from its resting place, she was relieved to find that it had only been a few seconds. She saw Sugawara beside her, and figured that he was probably the one who woke her.

"I... just wanted to let you know... I'm going to step out for a minute to call my mom. I told her I'd let her know when Tsukishima was out of surgery." Amaya noticed Sugawara was holding his phone in his hand, contacts list open to his own mother's number.

"Koushi..."

"I'll be right back."

"Koushi, dear, please go home and get some sleep. You've been up all night and there's nothing more you can do for now. You've seen it through. He's alive. Now please let yourself rest."

"But - "

"Please. For me." Sugawara paused, contemplating. Before he could answer, Yamaguchi chimed in.

"If you want, Sugawara, I can call my mom to take us both home." Sugawara sighed.

"Yeah... Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Thanks, Yamaguchi." With that, both boys left the room. After the door shut behind them, the doctor once again addressed Amaya.

"If there's anything else you need, Mrs. Tsukishima, the nurse's station knows where to find me." The distraught mother looked up at him with gratitude.

"Yes, thank-you so much." The doctor then left the room as well, leaving only Amaya and Ukai at Tsukishima's bedside.

Amaya knew she should probably get some rest, too, but she couldn't bear to go home to such an empty house. With Yoshirou in America, Kei in the hospital, and Akiteru... out of the picture, she couldn't go home to the resounding desolation that waited for her there. She was so used to the ever-present life-force in her home that she simply couldn't stand the idea that the walls would be silent and everything would be still.

It was during this train of thought that Amaya realized that, at some point, she would have to dismantle Akiteru's room. The thought made her want to vomit. It'll smell like him, she realized, That'll be the worst part. Akiteru's belongings, his clothes, his bed sheets, even the carpet, would all carry the scent of the life he'd once lived. She thought about giving some of his things to Kei, partially because she figured Kei would want them (though he'd never admit it), partially because she didn't feel like she could part with them herself, but she realized that would work for very little of what Akiteru owned. Sure, maybe Kei would want some of the volleyball equipment and dinosaur figurines, but there was little else her younger son could use. Kei was tall and rail-thin, while Akiteru was shorter, more muscular, and had much broader shoulders. Very little of Akiteru's clothing would fit Kei, and they had completely different tastes in books, games, and just about everything else. Besides, it would be weeks before Kei would even be in a fit enough mental and physical state to deal with his brother's death, and the room would just be sitting there taunting her until then.

"Amaya."

Pulling herself out of her spiraling thoughts, she snapped her head around to look at Ukai, who had come up beside her.

"Take your own advice. Get some rest. Sugawara and Yamaguchi aren't the only ones who didn't sleep last night." Amaya answered without looking at him.

"Thank you, but I'm going to stay here with Kei. He needs me."

"Listen to yourself. You're burnt out and you've just been through hell. If you don't sleep, you aren't going to be in any position to be there for him." Amaya couldn't take her eyes off Kei as she continued to caress his hand.

"Ukai, you aren't a parent. I don't expect you to understand, but I'm needed right here in this room, not at home in bed." Ukai sighed, keeping his temper in check. He knew this defiance wasn't Amaya talking, but her exhaustion, grief, and deep concern for Tsukishima's wellbeing. Someone had to be the adult here, and it was only natural that Amaya would be unable to fulfill that role.

"Okay, fine." he said, mostly out of resignation, "Stay here, but get some sleep at some point. I'm going to let the team know their friend is alive, and then I'm going home to pass out." Before Amaya could respond in any way, Ukai had left the room.

As Ukai walked the trek through the halls of Miyagi General Hospital back to the parking lot to find his car, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, checked the time, and opened it to the volleyball team's group chat. Just after 6:30am - it was about time they knew their teammate's fate. Hell, half of them were probably even still awake solely because they were still waiting for news, and the other half were going to be waking up for school about now, anyway.

As Ukai stared at the blank screen in front of him, his thumbs hovering aimlessly over the keys. Wait, how am I actually going to say this?, he found himself thinking. As exhausted as he was, he couldn't be too callous. Word choices didn't bother him nearly as much as information itself, but he knew that certain sensitive members of the team might be bothered if he failed to choose his words carefully. After several seconds of pondering, he began to type.

Alright, guys, here's the rundown...

The big one: Tsukishima's alive. The bullet damaged a few of his internal organs, but he pulled through alright, and he's sleeping peacefully in the ICU. The doctors are keeping him unconscious for the next 24 hours, so if any of you want to visit after school today, remember he won't be awake to see and talk to you, and make sure you ask Mrs. Tsukishima's permission first. I'll forward you all her cell phone number in a bit.

Secondly, I'm not holding practice today. If some of you want to get together and play a little, be my guest, but there won't be any penalty for not showing up. Consider it my apology for waking you all up last night. Besides, I know at least a few of you didn't sleep, and it's more important that you rest than exhaust yourselves even further.

I just want to leave you all with a little heart-to-heart from me. I know tensions ran a little high last night, but as important as volleyball is to all of you, our bonds as a team should be first on your minds. Tsukishima and his family are going through a very difficult time right now, and squabbling over Nationals isn't going to help him recover any faster. I know you're all trying your best to keep yourselves together after what happened, and I respect that. Just remember that the team comes first.

Alright, I've rambled enough. Get to class.

-Coach

He re-read the text a few times, figured it was good enough, and pressed send. Ukai then scrolled through his contacts list until he found Amaya's contact information and sent that through the group as well. All that done, the next contact he searched was Ittetsu Takeda.

The phone rang for several seconds before a seemingly flustered Takeda picked up the line.

"Uh, hello?"

"Sensei."

"Oh, Ukai! Hey, how is everything? And, uh, could you make it quick? Sorry, I'm leaving for the school as we speak. I have a few last minute papers to grade." Ukai heard what sounded like a muffled thump, followed by a soft "ow."

"Well, you might want to settle down for a minute. I've got good news and I've got bad news." Takeda stopped in his tracks.

"Oh."

"Which do you want first?"

"The good, I suppose." Ukai reached the parking lot. He looked around a little for his car before giving up and pressing the unlock button on the key fob. He looked for the flashing headlights, and made his way in that direction.

"Alright, good news is Tsukishima made it. He's recovering in the ICU right now. His mother's there with him."

"That's a relief! Wait, then what's the bad news?" Ukai sighed as he opened the driver's side door, pulling himself into the front seat. Switching to speakerphone, he dropped his phone into the empty cup holder as he put his keys into the ignition and started the engine.

"Do you remember during the Shiratorizawa game, there was an older kid sitting in the front row wearing a sports jacket?"

"Come to think of it, yeah I do."

"That was Tsukishima's older brother, Akiteru. Not only is he a Karasuno alum, but he also played for the volleyball team." Turning the steering wheel at a hard right angle, Ukai made his way to the parking garage's exit ramp. He was so tired.

"Okay...?"

"He died of a drug overdose last night."

"I'm so sorry..."

"I haven't told the team yet. Most of them didn't really know him, and they're all still reeling from this whole deal with Tsukishima, so I was going to let them figure it out when the papers catch wind of the whole mess."

"That might be for the best."

"Yeah... Anyway, I just wanted to keep you updated. I'm going home to forget last night ever happened."

"Sure... Goodbye, Ukai." Ukai hung up the phone without replying. He figured that last comment would probably worry Takeda, but at the moment, Ukai didn't really care. As he pulled out of the parking garage and into the early morning sunlight, Keishin Ukai felt weak. Realizing he was finally coming down off his adrenaline (and the stress of being the responsible adult the entire night), he decided to take a shortcut home. He was so tired, the less time he spent behind the wheel of a moving car, the better off he would be. As he pulled into the parking lot of his apartment, Ukai realized that what he was about to do was probably the most unhealthy way he could possibly cope with his emotions.

And he didn't give a damn.

How does Ukai plan to cope? How will the team cope? How will Tsukki react to his brother's death? Keep reading to find out, and remember, constructive criticism is always appreciated.